Author's Note: At the time I wrote this, I had just finished The Veiled Threat, so yes, I do know how the whole movie/toyline Arcee versus book/comic Arcee works. Here, I was going off the idea that the three bikes are one being, even though I like the idea of them being separate characters more like how the toyline portrays them.

Females Happen

Technical Sargent Raymond Epps was an expert on Autobots, or at least as much of an expert as any human could be. He was currently working with the Autobot Ironhide in the weapons range of NEST's HQ. "So, my wife called last night."

Ironhide wondered for the millionth time why Epps always had to talk while he worked. "Yes?" So?

Epps smiled at the robot's gruff manner. He'd realized long ago that Ironhide was not interested in the workings of a human family. He wasn't offended though, he knew that it was just Ironhide's way. But, he still liked to talk while he worked just to gently poke at the robot. "She wanted to tell me all about my youngest daughter's dance recital. She's sending me a video of it."

Just as long as you don't want me to watch it with you. Don't get Ironhide wrong, he liked humans, but some aspects of human culture were just too weird for him to take."This 'dance recital' is important?" Ironhide asked as he continued work on a circuit board.

"Yeah, my baby girl loves dancing. She makes her Papa proud every time she takes the stage." Epps replied. "I'm just glad that Monique is a born Army wife. Some men aren't so lucky."

Ironhide looked down at the human. "In what way?"

"Well, they marry women who can't take the fact that their husbands are away for months and in danger." Epps answered.

Humans never cease to puzzle me. "Our females would be proud of us when we went out to fight."

Epps dropped his welding pen and yelped when he realized he'd done so. This was the first that he'd heard of female Transformers. "You have girls?!"

Ironhide put down the board he was working on. "Yes, few, but we have them."

Epps suddenly remembered something his wife had said to him while they were still dating. He'd been staring at her ample chest and she had noticed. "Boobs happen Ray! Eyes up here!"

Ironhide looked down at the human when he began to laugh uproariously. It drew the attention of several other NEST people. Lennox and Optimus chose this moment to walk in. Lennox saw his friend bent double. "What's so funny Epps?"

"Boobs . . . Happen." he said between bouts of belly deep laughter. "Boobs happen in any species!"

Lennox cocked an eyebrow and Optimus looked toward Ironhide. The two conversed for a moment in their native language. "What is so amusing?"

Ironhide moved a shoulder up and down. "I do not know. I merely explained that we do have genders and he began to laugh. Something about these 'boobs' that Epps is still muttering about."

Optimus looked down at the prostrate sargenant as he explained the joke to Lennox who was blushing and whose face was contorting with laughter. "Ratchet, do you have any idea what 'boobs' are?"

Ratchet's reply was quick. "They are the fleshy protrusions that female humans have on their chests. The technical term is 'breasts'. 'Boobs' is a slang term."

Optimus looked down at Epps. "How do you correlate human female breasts with female Transformers if I might ask?"

Epps' face obviously colored under the Autobot leader's gaze. "Well it's just that we, uh, humans relate being female to, ehem, breasts. So, when Ironhide mentioned that you have females, I thought of something that my wife said a long time ago."

"Ah." Optimus said. "Thank you for the explanation."

Epps turned back to his welding completely embarrassed with himself, and Ironhide shook his head as he resumed his task. Optimus walked away and Lennox trailed along behind the Autobot feeling sympathetic for his friend.

A week later, Arcee arrived. It was a month before Epps could look her in the eye.