I hope I don't seem too crazy so far! R&R

It's all Stephenie's.

Jacob hopped out of the car and came around to open the door for me. If he hadn't been right there to catch me as I wobbled, I probably would have fallen flat in my face and on my stomach. Not so great.

"Thanks Jacob," I sighed.

"Man I remember your clumsiness from before. It must be really bad with a huge stomach. Poor Bella, how on earth did you survive?" he said with a chuckle.

"Honestly, Jake, I don't know. I got lucky, I guess. I just hope my baby is less clumsy then I am."

"You better hope so."

I grinned feebly. Jacob had always been one for a good laugh. I always felt so comfortable with him. He was so easy to talk to. I almost wished I could talk about the past, but I couldn't tell anyone about that. And I still didn't want to talk about it. It just would have been nice to have the option of doing so.

Jacob got my suitcase out of the trunk and carried to the door. I followed him and unlocked the house with key under the eave. Charlie never changed anything. I swung open the door and walked inside. Just as I thought, the house hadn't changed a bit, which was both good and bad. Good because it felt so familiar and like home. Bad because it dredged up so many memories of him. If I had allowed myself, I could have easily pictured him sitting on the couch or in the shabby chair of Charlie's. But I had deliberately locked away those memories for my own sanity. If I allowed myself to remember, I wouldn't have been able to function. The hole that he left was still there, so much right now that it felt like it was gaping open for all to see. I wrapped my arms around my chest and inhaled swiftly. I knew it wasn't going to get any better and that I would have to live through it for Charlie.

If Jacob noticed he didn't say anything about my behavior. He had followed me in and set my suitcase at the bottom of the steps. Then he sat down on the couch and motioned for me to sit next to him. I did and looked up at him. He had the most peculiar expression on his face, like something smelled badly, but I couldn't smell anything so I was quiet. It was then that I realized something was missing.

"Hey Jacob where is Charlie?" I asked.

"Ha ha, Bella did you think I'd forgot him? He's at my house with my dad. Billy can't get around much either, but he said he could manage Charlie for a few hours while I went to get you. He's been living with us since he got out of the hospital a week ago. That's why this place looks decent compared to mine."

"Oh Jake, I'm sorry. I should have come sooner." I didn't know that they had been taking care of him. I guess it was worse than I thought. I felt bad but I'd come as soon as could.

"Well should we go get him now?" I inquired.

"We could. You should take a minute to relax and get settled. You had a long flight," Jacob said, giving me a look that told he wanted me to do exactly what he said.

"But Billy…" I started.

"Billy is fine," Jacob countered. "I can call him if you want, but when I left them, there was a game on. I can guarantee you that they haven't moved an inch."

"Alright you win," I sighed in resignation. I didn't have anything in me that wanted to fight back. I was used to just giving in and giving up. Any will power I possessed left me when he left. I hugged my stomach.

"Does it kick?" Jacob asked when I did that.

I smiled feebly. "It kicks and moves all the time. It drives me crazy sometimes but it reminds me to keep going." I realized what I'd said too late, but thankfully Jacob didn't catch my reference to my misery.

"Can I?" he motioned with his hand toward my stomach.

"Sure."

I moved my arms away from my swollen belly. Jacob cautiously laid his large palm against it, making sure to apply only the smallest amount of pressure. His hand was enormous and brown and warm. Then we both felt a tiny kick. Jacob looked up at me in amazement. The baby kicked again, causing a smile to cover Jacob's face.

"Wow," he said. "That's just incredible."

We stayed like that for another minute before I decided that I wanted to take a shower before we got Charlie, since I probably wouldn't have time later. I told this to Jacob and he helped me get up and carried my suitcase upstairs. He followed behind me as a carefully ascended the stairs, holding on to the railing for dear life. These stairs brought back memories of many a fall. I wouldn't allow myself to remember whose arms I had usually fallen into.

I made it to the end of the hall and swung the door to my room open. If Jacob hadn't been there, I think I would have curled up into a ball on my bed and tried to repress all the pain that bombarded me as I gazed about my room. The memories that threatened to break the barrier were at their strongest here. I stepped inside and Jacob followed. I looked around. Just like the downstairs, Charlie hadn't touched anything since I had left. Some clothes were strewn on the floor from when Renee had packed for me, a time I didn't care to remember. I stayed numb.

I turned to find Jacob watching me studiously, with the same peculiar expression on his face as before, as if something smelled. I was too concerned with holding back my own pain to question him about it. But that wasn't the only thing that bothered him apparently.

"Bella, are you sure you're ok? It seems like something is wrong."

I sighed willing my voice to sound stronger than how I felt. "I'm okay Jake. I'm plenty good enough to take of Charlie and eventually the baby."

"But can you take care of yourself?" He almost seemed hesitant to ask, as if I would react badly to that question. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't alright and that I couldn't take care of myself. My heart was long gone. I could feel the hole where it used to be throbbing in pain. But I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell anyone. So I put on a brave face.

"I'll be fine."

With this, I opened my suitcase that Jacob had set on the bed and took out my bathroom bag. "I'm getting a shower" I told him.

"Alright, I'll be downstairs then. There should be a contractor guy coming soon. He's going to install a bathroom on the first floor for Charlie. Did you know?"

That actually threw me off. "I had no idea." I had forgotten about that much. There was no way I could help Charlie get up the stairs. This is house would actually see change.

Before Jacob could say anything else, I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom. The sink had a layer of dust on top of it and my old bottle of strawberry shampoo stood half-used on the edge of the tub. Charlie had forgotten to throw it away. I picked up and threw it away, knowing the scent would invoke memories. I grabbed a clean towel and turned the water on so that the window and mirror fogged up from the steam. The water made my skin tingle with the heat. I closed my eyes and let everything fall away.

I didn't want to be here, I knew that much. Nothing in my life was what I wanted it to be. I didn't want to be pregnant, but I had no choice. People look at me and think 'How irresponsible.' I've seen the look. And I feel it too. I was always the responsible one, unlike Renee, who got pregnant with me young. I didn't even mean to have sex. I didn't really want to, but I did. Plus, a few drinks can change your mind.

I stopped that train of thought. I was done with that and I was never going back. Drinking away the pain didn't help and I wasn't proud of it. Luke, my child's father, had done his best to pull me away from it. And he did. And I did miss Luke. He was one of the nicest people I had ever met. He was the only one who had ever managed to get through and pull me out from drowning in my misery. He truly loved me and he would have done his best to make me happy. We made one mistake by getting a little drunk and a little carried away. Before I left Forks, I never dreamed of doing anything that stupid. But circumstances change. Still, getting pregnant was very unlike me. I knew I had disappointed Renee and Charlie.

I opened my eyes and came back to reality. The water was losing heat so I turned it off and stepped out of the shower. I didn't know how much time had passed nor did I care. I was grateful when that happened. Being in a daze was the closest I could get to having no pain. But it never seemed to last long enough.

I dried off and changed into a simple sundress. Jake was waiting on me. I threw my stuff into my room and slowly climbed down the stairs, hanging onto the railing for dear life. I managed to make it somehow.

Jacob was standing in the living room with a short, burly man. They seemed to be having an animated discussion, pointing at the wall and making references to the paper in the man's hand.

"Bella," Jake greeted me, "This is Mr. Kings. He's going to put in the bathroom. Mr. Kings this is Bella Swan."

"Howdy," Mr. Kings said in a strong southern drawl. "Me and Jake here pretty much got it all figured out and I can have it done in two days. We just need you to approve our plans." He held the paper toward me. Not much of it made sense. He pointed to the wall across from me. "I want to build it here so it sticks out from the back of the house. I'll build it nice and big with a tub and everything. You can pick out the stuff." I scanned the list of matching sinks, tubs, and toilets and picked the first one that caught my eye. I didn't care that much and neither would Charlie. Then I picked out a few cabinets and signed some forms and all was done. The man tipped his hat towards me and left.

Jake grinned at me. "There, that wasn't too bad. But I guess that means Charlie has to stay at my place for a few more days."

I grimaced because I had forgotten about that. "Oh Jake, I'm sorry I forgot. I can work something out…" I protested but he cut me off.

"Bella, it is fine. That gives you a chance to fix up the place and do what you need to do around here. You can even come and hang out in La Push that makes you feel better. But really, don't worry about it."

"You sure, Jake?"

"I'm positive. But we do have to get back to them, just in case. You ready to go?"

I looked around, but realized I'd left my purse upstairs.

"I forgot something upstairs, let me grab it."

I headed for the stairs before Jake could do it for me. I went to my room and grabbed my purse. I was about to leave when I noticed the window was open. That was strange since I didn't remember leaving it open. I walked over and shut it, gazing out at the woods as I did so. I could have sworn I saw a glimpse of something moving in the trees. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. I was probably just imagining things. I would not allow myself to do that. I returned downstairs to where Jake was. As we walked outside to the car, I watched him make a face and wrinkle his nose.

"What's wrong Jacob?"

He glanced over at me with a worried, but hard look in his eyes, but relaxed as he saw my expression.

"Nothing, Bella I'm fine," he said as his head swiveled to look back at the entrance to the forest.

Little did I know that "nothing" was going to change my life. Again.