After each of these memories one word ran through my head,
"Why?" Over and over. "Why? Why did he leave me?"
The next flashback I had, was again before we were dating, but a while after I had talked to Tawni.
I had been sitting on the couch in my dressing room, playing around on my phone, when my mom called me.
"Hello?" Right when I had answered it Chad had walked in. I had made a face at him. He had made about a million stupid faces back. But I didn't really notice. I was too preoccupied with the horrible news my mom had just told me.
"What?!" I had screamed into the phone.
"No no no no no!" I had mumbled my eyes filling with tears.
"Okay bye. I love you too. See you in a few minutes." I hung up the phone and threw it on the couch. Then I plopped down on the couch and had started sobbing.
"Sonny? What's the matter?" Chad had asked quietly.
"Why do you care!" I snapped jumping up off of the couch. "You wouldn't know! You don't even have any friends! You're too busy caring too much about yourself! You wouldn't know how bad it hurts when one of them dies!" I was swinging my arms around and screaming like a lunatic.
"I am sorry." Chad had said turning to leave.
"No wait." I said reaching out and laying my hand on his shoulder. " I am sorry. You didn't deserve that." I said as my tears spilled over once again.
"It's just… my best friend from back in Wisconsin, Lucy, you met her, she just… she… died in… c-c-car crash…d-drunk driver." I said starting to cry hysterically.
I had let my hand that was on his shoulder fall off. Then he reached over to me and held me tight in a hug. We stood like that for a few minutes, me crying and him with his arms around me.
Finally I pulled myself together. I looked up into his eyes. "What was that for?" I whispered. I don't even know why I whispered.
"You looked like you needed a hug." He had whispered back. I still remember how close we were. I could smell his cologne. And when his spoke I could smell the minty scent of toothpaste. I could see his sparkling white teeth surrounded by his full… pink… lips.
Before I knew what I was doing, I kissed him. It wasn't a real kiss, just a peck. But it was still enough to shock Chad Dylan Cooper. He had raised his eyebrows and had asked mimicking me, "What was that for?"
"I don't know…" I answered.
"I liked it." he said smirking. Then he kissed me. It wasn't a make out session or anything… but it was a much deeper kiss then the one I had given him.
Suddenly I heard a horn honking. I ran out of Chad's grasp and over to the window. Sure enough, it was my mom.
I waved bye to Chad and ran outside. That was the day a lot of things changed for me.
This time a different word ran through my head.
"When? When had he stopped loving me?"