AN: OOh snap It's Militza finally!!! So muchas gracias to all the new readers and old still following this story ya'll mean the world to me.
A great big hell yes to my fucktacular beta ChangedbyEdward for getting me and pretting up my chapters for me because believe me Mil-glish is hard to understand! To all my WC buddies ya'll are bomb. To the Tri-fecta T & S thanks for reading this even if you have no idea wtf is going on! aaand enough with my babbling let's get on with the story! Oh wait for those of you who like a little music with your reading , the song Edward is playing is Breathe Me by Sia. Look it up I promise you won't be disappointed!
EPOV
Esme is going to kill us when she gets back to the house. I tried to smooth out the gashes in the wall from where I dug my hands in to prevent myself from attacking Bella, but all it did was splinter the wall more so I made a mental note to make a few phone calls later in the day to repair the damages we caused.
I can't believe she did that. I could still see her clearly in my mind, all alabaster and rose, curves that I would love to explore and...
I shook my head and got a hold of myself. This wasn't the time for thoughts like this. I stood there and questioned myself a few times on whether or not I should just go in the bathroom, but I figured it wouldn't be such a good idea seeing as I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't try to mount her. I could hear murmurs and giggles from Alice's room, so I decided against trying to distract myself by talking to my siblings, instead I walked by the bedrooms and back downstairs to the living room. My piano was thankfully still there and I ran my hand along the top, debating whether or not I should take a seat.
"Would you mind? It's been a long time since you've touched it." I snapped my head up to see Bella standing in the doorway, smelling like sweetness and hurt. It made me want to wrap in her my arms and kiss her until it didn't hurt anymore. She stared back at me as she took a few steps forward, looking at me from under her lashes. I took a couple of steps back to give myself a moment to gather my thoughts. She stopped walking and just stood there, as if waiting for permission to keep coming towards me.
"You don't need to stay away, Bella. I won't hurt you." She shook her head and snorted a little bit.
"I'd like to call shenanigans on that one, Edward. And for the record, you were the one who decided to go away." She stared me down a couple of seconds longer and then she took a seat herself at the piano.
"I miss the way I felt listening to you play. I missed the way the notes wrapped around me and I cut it out of my life while you were gone, because it broke my heart to hear music that wasn't yours reminding me of you and how you didn't want me in your life anymore. So I cut music out, hoping it would cut you out, too."
I didn't know how I was supposed to respond to her statement. I had underestimated how much my leaving had affected her. I thought about what would have happened had Alice not stayed behind, and even worse what could've happened had she not gotten to Bella in time after the accident. I debated whether or not I should take a seat beside her, and then I was pulled out of my thoughts by a soft sigh.
"Always with the thinking. Just sit down would you?" I sat down quickly, staring at her and wondering what to do now since apparently, I'd turned too weak to even deal with my own mistakes. Everything had changed so quickly and I was sick and tired of making excuses for myself. I fucked up and now I was gonna have to pull my britches tight and man up. I let my fingers ghost across the keys, pausing a few times to steal a glance at her. She sat with her eyes closed, swaying back and forth, waiting for the music to start. I closed my eyes and just let my fingers do the work, letting a slow melody begin as I fought with letting myself go or not.
She gave me all of her and asked for nothing in return but for me to love her. And I, in return, doubted how strong and true that could be because she was human and I saw her as delicate, like I needed to protect her, and now we were both cut so deep and the only person I could blame was myself. I let the melody get stronger, deeper, pouring into my hands everything I had fucked up in the past few months. I poured the 'I'm sorry' I was too ashamed to say into the music and I played how much I missed her, and more than that, loved her. I played how much I knew I couldn't change what happened, but I'd spend however many lifetimes it took to make sure she knew I would never doubt us again. I took the coward's way out, giving her my music instead of my words, but if she could feel it before I said it, maybe she would be more inclined to believe me.
I kept playing, letting more of the shit I let mount up between us be laid bare before us, pushing myself more into the melody so that it whirled around us. I wanted Bella to feel only this, only us, the rest of the world forgotten, if only for a moment while I tried to lift us from this abysmal time and wrap us in light. As I played, I could hear Bella's breathing pick up and I held on to those tiny breaths like a dying mans last sip of water, hoping that this was a sign I was breaking the wall between us. As I came towards the last notes of the song, I moved closer, closing the bit of space left on the piano bench between us and when the song was done I closed the lid and turned to her, losing myself in the crimson and gold swirling in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I know that no matter how many times I say it, it won't fix this, but I'm sorry." I could see the hurt well in her eyes as tears that would never fall, and my heart broke once more for what this ordeal had cost her. I wanted to so badly to just tuck her hair behind her ear and lay my forehead against hers. I had no thoughts of anything behind this action, just the comfort of comforting each other, but my mind moved faster than I did and my mouth forgot to change directions in my brain before it decided to go on and kiss her. Once my lips touched hers, the whole world was forgotten as everything around me became Bella and only Bella. Every scent… taste… touch… was made of her, and I never wanted to feel anything else in the world. I pulled her closer to me and almost sang Hallelujah when her arms snaked up around my neck. I could feel her melt into me as my lips danced on hers. All I ever needed or could want was enveloped in this woman, and even if it took moving mountains to have her, hand to God, I'd never let her go.
"I could live the rest of my existence wrapped in you."
"Then why did you try so hard to free yourself then?"
I breathed her in and let out a sigh.
"Because I'm fucking stupid, Isabella. I want so badly to do the right things that I sometimes blinded myself from being unbiased about the situation. And in this case, I was so intent on keeping you safe that I put you in more jeopardy than if I had just been honest with you about the fears I had about our relationship. I didn't take into account how you felt, how you would feel once the choice I made had been decided, and I acted without giving myself or you other options. I even put my family in an awkward situation, and even more so when they came home and saw the chain of events that had unfolded because of this."
Bella let her head rest on my shoulder and once again I wrapped my arms around her, feeling all warm inside from the pleasure in the moment.
"I'm still mad at you, you know." I heard a muffled and annoyed voice coming from my chest.
"As well you should be, love. I've wronged you in many ways, but I intend to try my best to try and prove-"
"Enough with the promises, Edward. Let's just promise to try."
"We're compromising, that's trying."
"See? We can do this." I chuckled at Bella's plan, wondering how long it would be until we disagreed on something and then I heard Bella let out a small laugh of her own.
"And I'm serious. You're totally not getting into my pants anytime soon. I just forgot myself looking at how pretty you are." I tucked her tighter into me, finally relieved I was able to hold her again.
I heard Alice's whispers through the hall and knew that soon she was going to usher Bella into her fortress and do all sorts of heinous things to her she didn't need. And then the most delicious plan hit me. I jumped off the piano bench, Bella in arm, and ran full speed right through the already broken doorway. As Bella's giggles rang through the night, I could faintly hear my sister's shriek, as the surprise of my random decision making really messed up her visions.
"Where are we going, Edward?"
"Haven't figured that part out yet, love. I'm kinda working on the fly here. I don't want to keep any one place in mind because then Alice will figure out what I'm up to. And there she is." My phone vibrated over and over again in my pocket and Bella wiggled around trying to reach it. I kept running, making little twists and turns, trying to gain my bearings around me. I figured if I ran far enough, Alice would take the hint and let me have some time to try to fix this, even if it was only for a little while. I would call her whenever I got to where I was going and she knew at least that, so I'd worry about her wrath later. Then it hit me. And damn it! I knew it would hit Alice, too, so I picked up speed and pushed myself even faster. I could still feel the fury of my phone vibrating and I reached down and pulled it out, surprised it hadn't self-destructed with the amount of incoming calls. I flipped it open and hit the speaker button.
"EDWARD! HAND TO GOD I AM GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!!! NO! I'M NOT CALMING DOWN JAS-" I heard wrestling over the phone and I decided it would be more comfortable listening to my sister's screeching if I wasnt trying to watch where I was going, so I slowed down and pulled Bella into my lap as I took a seat on a fallen log.
"Edward, man you gotta understand. Alice isn't comfortable with you just disappearing with Bella and actively trying to lead her on a mental goose chase." Jasper's calm voice was over-ridden by Alice's screeching.
"Tell him I'm going to turn his piano into chopsticks for Rosalie's hair if he doesn't stop this nonsense! I can't believe he would just leave with a newborn!"
"What is she, three? I can do this, Jas. Tell her to calm down. I just want some time to be alone with Bella. I'm not trying to steal her away. I mean, I could, I doubt she'd protest, but I'll be back, she knows that. Aren't you Southerners supposed to be laid back? Tell her to go hunt with you, I'm actually getting a little famished myself and I'm sure Bella could use a meal. I'm letting you go, Jasper. Keep your woman in check."
I hung up the phone chuckling as I knew my comment would send Alice into fits and seizures, but I couldn't help myself. I heard the, "Oh, hell no!" as I flipped the phone shut and put it away. Bella stood up shaking her head with a huge smile on her face.
"I couldn't stop myself, love. I feel ridiculously mischievous when I'm with you."
"Hmm, that could get us into all sorts of fun, you know."
"Oh, I know." I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose and caught the aroma of something wafting through the air.
"First one to find it gets the kill, love." She leaned in and pulled me close into a soft and languid kiss.
"Eat my dust, babe." She took off flying, her hair whipping behind her and it left me stuck.
Why did I ever try to leave her? This time I'm going to catch her and I'm not letting go until Cullen is her last name.