When the person you love hurts you, everything changes.

You can look at a watch they gave you a million times, and not truly look at it till they're gone.

You can eat their favorite food everyday for a year, and not really taste it till their gone.

You can both know all the words to a s, but not truly hear it till you have been hurt yourself.

These are all things I found out over the next few days.

One morning when I woke up I turned on the radio.

The moment I turned on the radio "What Hurts the Most." by Rascal Flatts came on.

I recognized it instantly. I listened to it all the time.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don't bother me I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though Going' on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay But that's not what gets me"

By the time the chorus came on I was starting to cry.

"What hurts the most Was being so close And having' so much to say And watching' you walk away And never knowing' What could've been And not seeing' that loving' you Is what I was trying' to do"

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing' you everywhere I go But I'm doing' it It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone Still harder getting' up, getting' dressed, living' with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken What hurts the most Is being so close And having' so much to say (Much to say) And watching' you walk away And never knowing' What could've been And not seeing' that loving' you Is what I was trying' to do, oh Oh yeah What hurts the most Was being so close And having' so much to say (To say) And watching' you walk away And never knowing What could've been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying' to do Not seeing' that loving' you That's what I was trying to do, ooo

By the time the time the song ended I was balling again. I stood up from the kitchen table and turned the radio off.

It hadn't even been a week and I couldn't take it any more. Everything reminded me of Chad. How on earth was I ever going to be able to look at his baby without crying?

Finally I snapped my self out of my trance like state.

I had wasted half the day already, and all that crying hadn't made me feel any better. I needed to talk to a friend. So I took out my phone and called Tawnie.

After Lucy died, Tawnie and I became really close. Sure she still had her "It's all about me" moments, but despite that she was my best friend.

The phone rang a couple of times before Tawnie answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Tawn, it's me." I answered.

"Hi. What's up?" she asked

"Well… something happened… and I really need to talk to you."

"Okay… I will be over in 5." Tawnie said hanging up.

"Okay Bye…" I said to myself.

I knew that 5 in Tawnie time meant 10 in normal time.

I was right. Exactly 10 minuets later Tawnie's jaguar pulled in my driveway. Even if I hadn't heard her car pull up I would have been able to hear her and her stiletto heels walk up the driveway. Click, Click, Click.

Anyway she soon walked in (Tawnie Hart never bothers to knock…) and sat down on our… I mean my leather couch.

"So what's been going on with you?" she asked, but then didn't even let me answer. "I had the best massage the other day, it was at the place I always go… I forget the name I just always take the limo there (and just tell the chauffer to take me for a massage)"

"Tawnie?" I tried to speak up.

"It was given to me a new girl… what was her name… Miranda? Marie? Maria? Oh well it doesn't matter" She said brushing the thought away with her hand.

"Tawnie?" I tried again, this time a little louder.

She must have caught sight of her hand before because now she almost shouted, "Ooohh! I need a manicure! I should go get one now! Wanna come with? That is if it's all right with your hubby?" she said with a smile. "You just had your anniversary last month right? Where is he anyways?"

"That's what I have been trying to tell you!" I shouted.

"Sorry. Tell me what." she asked.

"He's gone." I said slowly.

"Gone?" she didn't understand. "Where?"

"I don't know." My eyes started to fill up with tears, yet again! "I woke up this morning… and he was gone. He left me a note… I think I still have it here."

I reached in my robe pocket (I had never gotten out of my pajama's I had just put a robe on over it) and pulled out the note. I handed it to Tawnie, and she read the words for herself,

Alison, I am leaving you. The divorce papers are in my nightstand.

Chad Dylan Cooper

A single tear ran down my cheek And for a moment I thought I could see tears in Tawnie's eyes.

I quickly tossed that thought aside when she shouted, "That jackass!" she then filled a stream of cuss words, all insulting Chad. Then she looked at me. "I am sorry, Sonny. But, you can stop crying over him, he is TOTALLY not worth it!"

"I know Tawnie… it's just I loved him so much…"

"Really Sonny, I understand it's hard for you… I mean he was a big part of your life, and heck, he had us all fooled… I thought he really loved you. But he was a jerk and left you for no reason… don't sit hear and cry over him! That's what he wants! The best thing you can do is forget him!"

"Tawnie, I just can't forget him."

"I guess that's not what I meant, I guess what I mean is you shouldn't be sad about, you should be glad! You wouldn't have wanted to stay married to someone who was secretly such a jerk do you? I mean for all we know he could have been cheating on you!"

"What am I going to tell the Baby?" I whispered, more to myself then to Tawnie.

"What baby?" she asked.

I didn't answer.

Then the must realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Sonny… are you pregnant?"

I slowly nodded, warm tears running down my cheeks.

That seemed to make Tawnie even madder. "He left you knowing you were pregnant?!" she screamed.

"No Tawnie." I said shaking my head. "He didn't know… I was going to tell him today… but…"

Tawnie nodded. Then stood up and briskly walked to my bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked starting to follow her.

"Picking you out a cute outfit!" She shouted. "We are going out!

I have been trying to make my chapters longer… are you happy? :D

Questions of the week: What is your favorite breakup song?

What would you do in Sonny's position?

Can I write in first person, well?

You don't have to answer those… I am just trying to get ideas…