Musical Inspiration: 'In the shadows' by The Rasmus
Sima Yi had not exaggerated; the wording and characters in the scroll were archaic and almost impossible to decipher as they were written. That, paired with the cramped writing, made comprehension of the material difficult – if not impossible. Exasperated, Zhi had finally gone to obtain paper and ink to make notes on what she read.
She was able to figure that the scroll had been written about five hundred years previously by the names of Emperors and prominent Generals that were mentioned. According to the sorcerer who had written it, the mages had been small in number even at that time, but they had made up for their lack of numbers through the sheer power of their magic.
Two main sects of the warrior-mages had formed and from then on had feuded ferociously, not caring who wandered into their bloody battles. Countless innocents had been slain in their war with each other, but neither group had seemed to care about that.
Finally, an alliance formed. The huge coalition was composed of sorcerers and various armies led by leaders that had been warring with each other for centuries. The significance of these mortal enemies allying with each other - in spite of their numerous personal feuds - to destroy the mages was not lost on Zhi. This Alliance eventually infiltrated and destroyed the mages they had dubbed Storm Warriors, for the turbulent weather they called onto the battlefield and used as weapons.
The Storm Warriors were wiped out in an epic battle, with the exception of a single woman – the lover of the sorcerer who had authored the scroll. She had taken a grievous wound in the final battle and had passed on the secrets of her people to her lover. As both a warrior and a scholar, she could not bear to let the knowledge of her craft die with her.
It was at that point that Zhi found the secrets to controlling her magic. Basic spell craft was outlined for each of the elements, including the Lesser elements, and her mind reeled at the simple brilliance of some of them. Starving for the knowledge, she excitedly scribbled page upon page of notes – and still would have to go back and concentrate on more difficult spells later on. The scroll ended with hints of further information concealed in a secret place known only to the mages.
Dark had descended while Zhi read and made notes on the scroll. When she finished the instruction section of the scroll, she stopped to stretch cramped fingers and look around her room in surprise. It had gotten so late that someone, probably Anli, had come in and lit candles. She had even left a tray of food. Zhi had not even noticed her hand maid's presence and was a little shocked that so much time had passed as well. She poured herself a cup of water and resettled herself to finish the scroll; barely a half a foot of it remained.
The final section made her blood run cold.
The author began to go into more detail as to why the mages had been considered so dangerous. They were described as extremely violent and irrational at times. Those traits, combined with their powerful magic made them extremely dangerous. Many of them also possessed the battle fury or blood lust, and went berserk in combat.
Why? Zhi thought.
She chewed absently on her lower lip as she reread her notes. It appeared that the repeated channeling of the magic through their bodies was what triggered their aggressiveness – and their passage into madness.
Zhi did not notice her notes fall from her slack fingers, to drift to the floor and scatter silently. She could not be like them. No, she would not be like them. She was a better person than that. Besides, this scroll had been dictated by a dying woman to her distraught lover; perhaps the portrayal of the mages was skewed and biased.
But somehow, Zhi knew this was not the case.
In abrupt horror, she stood so suddenly that her vision blacked momentarily and she swayed slightly. She had to escape. Staying would only bring about the descent of her mind into insanity for she would be expected to use her magic in battle.
She thrust the scroll, her notes, and other various essential items into a small saddlebag. Slinging it over her shoulder, she ventured out into the hallway, peering cautiously around the doorway to see if anyone was about. The dim halls were empty and silent.
Avoiding the main corridors, she ghosted through the castle and made it to the outer courtyard without being seen by a soul. From there, it was simplicity itself to slip into the deepening night.
She stood in the strengthening light of dawn, eyes closed, face tilted to catch the feeble rays of light. Her breathing had slowed to almost nonexistence and with each exhalation she drew upon each Element in turn – air, fire, water, earth – and released it upon inhalation, luxuriating in the sensation of the raw energies bathing her body.
Her mind was deep into her meditation; deep enough that when she was attacked from behind, Zhi barely had a chance to snag a thread of Lightning from the air and send it to strike her attacker.
With a furious curse, her assailant thrust her away from him violently – Zhi actually caught air from his reflective shove. Unfortunately not before the jolt of lightning passed from his body to hers and knocked her forcefully to the ground. Her muscles contracting involuntarily, Zhi lay on her back, half-stunned.
The whole incident happened in a split second. And with her senses jangling from the current of energy, Zhi was unable to fend off her second attacker. She struggled to regain control of herself as he threw himself across her body to restrain her. She went limp with relief when she recognized him.
"Cao Ang!"
He sat up from her.
"We're not going to hurt you," he said quietly, moving away and leaning back on his haunches.
A few feet away, his partner was still on the ground, swearing vehemently. It was not difficult to identify him.
"Dian Wei," she whispered. The big warrior managed to control his erratically jerking limbs enough to glare at her.
"Pity you couldn't have figured that out a second ago," he growled, scowling fiercely.
"Maybe you shouldn't have attacked me from behind," she snapped back, not thinking about whom she was addressing. She didn't realize that they had been glaring at each other until he began to laugh quietly. The sound coming from the fierce man was disconcerting. Zhi stared at him in confusion for a second before she realized what he was laughing at. Then she joined him. They had been glaring at each other, but their bodies had still been jerking occasionally, making it impossible to retain any sort of dignity or the sentiment required to maintain the angry stare.
When he stopped laughing, he kept the grin on his face and managed to stand up. When he offered Zhi a hand to help her up, she stared up at him in disbelief. The smile changed his entire appearance. Gone was the overbearing, forbidding presence – this man could almost be likable. After a moment, she took his hand and stood; nearly pulling both of them back down in the process as a larger muscle group gave an involuntary spasm.
Still resting on his haunches, Cao Ang stared at them with narrowed eyes.
"You are both insane," he said.
"A bolt of lightning will do that to you," Dian Wei said wryly.
But Ang's statement had sobered Zhi immediately.
"You may not be far off from the truth," she murmured.
As Cao Ang rose to his feet, he said,
"What do you mean?"
Zhi sighed. Then, with an immense effort, she finally managed to still her Lightning-induced tremors. Ignoring the fine trembling of her fingers, she straightened her shoulders.
"I am sorry I attacked you," she said to Dian Wei. "I wouldn't have done it if I had known who you were." He inclined his head minutely, accepting. Zhi turned her attention to Cao Ang. "But I cannot go back."
"It is okay, Zhi," Cao Ang replied. "You're not going to be punished. My father is only worried for your welfare."
Zhi snorted indelicately.
"I am sure that's exactly what he is worried about," she said sardonically. She let her voice show her disgust as she continued. "Lord Cao Cao is only interested in the return of his weapon."
Cao Ang did not reply, but Dian Wei said,
"Come back with us, Bai Zhi. You have nothing to fear."
"I cannot," she whispered, lowering her head.
Dian Wei stalked over to stand before her and seized her chin roughly, forcing her to raise her head and meet his eyes. She pulled her chin from his grasp and glared up at him. He did not return the angry look; his face had assumed an expressionless mask.
"Why did you suddenly run?" he asked. "You swore an oath that you would stay and serve."
"I did," she replied. "But that was before I learned what my fate would be if I had stayed to serve."
"Your fate?" The big man tilted his head slightly to one side, puzzled. Cao Ang came to stand beside him and they both considered her quizzically.
Zhi explained to them the contents of the scroll, and then waited for them to recoil from her in horror.
They did not. In fact, to her chagrin, they both looked slightly amused.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" she asked, becoming somewhat flustered when a grin appeared on Cao Ang's face.
"When I begin to cast magic correctly, I am going to go insane and kill everybody."
Maybe it does sound a little silly when I put it that way, she thought, hunching her shoulders slightly.
"I doubt it," Cao Ang said, a smile still lighting his golden-hued eyes.
Feeling ridiculous now, Zhi muttered,
"What would you know about it anyway?"
"Well, as you so succinctly stated earlier, my father is overly concerned with the state of his new… weapon. And you forget that Sima Yi has read this scroll – so has my father for that matter – and in their opinions, you will be able to control your, ah, violent tendencies when the time comes."
"How can they know that for sure? I can count the number of times I have spoken with Cao Cao on one hand and even Sima Yi has only been my tutor since spring."
The amusement on Cao Ang's face faded.
"Sima Yi thinks highly of your character and morals. And you will have the best of instructors when it comes to controlling yourself. Both Dian Wei," he paused to nod respectfully to the hulking bodyguard, "and Xu Zhu are berserkers. They can help you."
Zhi slowly faced Dian Wei.
"Are you a mage?" she wondered.
He made a sound that could have been laughter.
"It would have made life… ah... interesting," he said, "But no, I have no magical abilities. I do know how to combat the blood lust of the battle fury, though. Xu Zhu and I will assist you should the need arise."
Zhi stared at him.
"You promise to help me?"
"I swear it," he said solemnly.
Zhi nodded to herself, but did not know who her next statement was intended for.
"I do not want to become evil," she whispered. Dian Wei laughed humorlessly.
"It's all relative," he said softly.
It was not until they were some way down the road that she realized her irrational fear of Dian Wei had not manifested. She shifted uncomfortably in her saddle and concentrated intensely on Cao Ang's conversations, attempting to ignore the other man that watched her with dark, guarded eyes.
A few days passed uneventfully. Once she returned, it was as if she had never left; no one mentioned her flight and it seemed that her cowardice would be forgotten. She was a bit embarrassed for what now seemed like an irrational overreaction and grateful that it had passed by relatively unnoticed. She was even more grateful for Cao Ang's grueling lessons and the respite they gave her from thinking too deeply about her new revelations.
It was in the oppressive heat of the afternoons – when the sparring courts were empty – that she began to control her magic for the first time in her life.
The solution to her problem was absurdly simple – it was merely a matter of controlling her breathing. As she drew elemental power into herself, she exhaled and refrained from inhalation until she had gathered and cast whatever element she happened to be working with. The very first afternoon had been a frustrating trial of failure after failure as she struggled to control her breathing. It was one thing to breath rhythmically in meditation – it was quite another to do the same in simulated battle. But it became easier as she caught the knack of it.
She had not considered what would happen if she mistimed her breathing but she found out one afternoon – an orb of fire snapped free of her control and left her unconscious until Xu Zhu, Xiahou Dun, and Xiahou Yuan arrived in the practice court later that evening to spar. She roused to find Sima Yi leaning over her and waving a foul-smelling pouch beneath her nose. With a disgusted sneeze, she pushed his hand away.
"Are you alright?" he asked mildly as he leaned back on his haunches and rested his hands lightly on his knees. She gingerly pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and sat up, waiting to be sick.
"I'm… fine," she said with some surprise as she lifted her hand from her head. She pushed herself to her feet and dusted herself off. The other three men eyed her warily before turning away to take up practice weapons and begin warming up – on the other end of the courtyard.
Zhi watched them go, surprised at the hurt she felt. It had never been her intention to get close to any of these people, but she was damned tired of being alone. She heard the rustle of Sima Yi's robes as he stood behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You need to control this, Zhi," he said quietly. "Helplessness on the battlefield will kill you."
She shrugged his hand away, watching the other three men begin to exchange blows, cursing each other good-naturedly.
"I know," she said tiredly, before she turned away to return to her room.
"What are you looking at?"
Zhi turned to face Xiahou Dun, whose practice blade was propped on his shoulder, and pointed up on the nearby roof.
"That raven," she said, lowering her arm and turning back to watch the bird. "It's acting so strangely, like it isn't even afraid of us."
"Indeed," she heard him say, amusement tingeing his voice. Then a peculiarly piercing whistle echoed across the courtyard. She watched the huge black raven take flight, ducked as it swooped down upon her, and then over her. Turning, she watched in wonder as Xiahou Dun held his free arm up in the air to allow the bird to land nimbly upon his leather-gauntleted forearm. He made a clucking sound to which the bird responded with a raucous 'caw.' Then he transferred the bird to his shoulder, where it fluffed its feathers self-importantly before proceeding to preen.
Zhi closed her mouth.
A good-natured groan issued from Xiahou Yuan.
"Damn, little brother, I wish you would get rid of that overgrown chicken," he called as he and Xu Zhu disengaged their practice blades.
Xiahou Dun laughed and said in an aside to Zhi,
"He is jealous, you see," he raised his voice so the other men could hear; "Jet is much smarter than my brother ever could hope to be."
"Jet," she murmured, hiding a grin behind her hand, "That's apt." The bird turned its head to peer at her with a small, onyx eye, then squawked loudly and took to flight.
"So," Xiahou Dun said, startling her as she watched the flight of the raven. "Would you like to spar? We could use a fourth, especially one who uses a staff."
Zhi eyed the three of them dubiously. They were all taller than the average man, and bigger than anyone she had seriously sparred with. She was tall for a woman – of a height with the average man, and strong with it – but these elite warriors of one of the Imperial Armies made her feel downright petite. Even Cao Ang or Cao Cao, sons of noble families, did not have the imposing physical presence of their lieutenants. Dian Wei was the only man she had ever met that was bigger than these three.
But then she felt a small smile touch her lips. These men would provide a challenge to her fledgling martial skills and would bestow upon her a huge advantage with respect to the common soldier.
"I would be honored," she said, with a slight inclination of her head.
Xiahou Dun eyed her suspiciously.
"Whoa now, girl. What was that look you got in your eyes just then? You're not going to slip some shifty wizard's tricks in on us? We've seen how Sima Yi uses than fan of his."
"A fan? Really? Oh… no. I am still learning how to properly summon my magic. I won't use it in sparring."
Xiahou Dun continued to eye her askance, but Xu Zhu had moved closer them by then, his round face alight with interest.
"Are you sparring with us?"
"I'll be trying," she replied.
"As long as you don't scorch me," he said, eyes narrowing, "Sima Yi gave a scar I'll have until my death."
"Aye!" Xiahou Yuan shouted, "And that day won't be long in coming with the way you fight!"
"Here now! I'll send you crying to your mother before you even realize you're beaten!"
"Not likely, little man."
Xu Zhu and Xiahou Yuan swept their weapons into ready positions, and then began to spar genially, scuffling like boys.
As she watched them, Zhi felt Xiahou Dun move up beside her. They watched the two men for a moment before Xiahou Dun sighed.
"The greatest warriors of the Wei army," he chuckled. Then he hefted his practice weapon experimentally.
"So," he said. "Which staff do you use?"
"Twin-tipped spear. Cao Ang has just begun teaching me the forms."
Xiahou Dun's eyebrows lifted in surprise.
"Really? That's a big weapon for a little girl like you."
"I manage," Zhi replied grumpily, a little chagrined at his amusement. She retrieved a practice stave, weighted at both ends to mimic the foot of steel, and began to work through her warm-up forms. Xiahou Dun watched her, his expression becoming less amused and more thoughtful.
"You have excellent wrist flexibility and forearm strength," he commented as she finished. "I reckon you will do more than mange. But let's see, shall we?"
Zhi's heart thundered as they bowed and took up ready positions. She had been surprised and inwardly pleased at his comment; her wrists and forearms were still sore from that first rigorous day Cao Ang had worked her through – her muscles had had to adjust to the different heft and weight of the new weapon.
But though the pain was there, it was not distracting; in fact, she forgot about it as she met Xiahou Dun's scimitar in the first engagement. His style did not mimic Cao Ang's precise adherence to the forms. His style was more direct - he did not waste motion and he favored aggressive, unceasing offensive movements.
Zhi found him a highly satisfying sparring partner – he did not pull his swings like Cao Ang seemed to unconsciously do and she liked that. He took her seriously, despite her obvious inexperience.
She was able to hold him at bay for quite some time and although she had only managed a few paltry swipes as an offense, she felt she had gained much from just using the defensive forms.
"Not bad," he said to her as they moved apart some time later. She leaned on her staff, noticeably gasping for air and pouring sweat. Her shoulders ached from absorbing the ringing blows she had parried. He, on the other hand, barely breathed hard and a faint sheen to his skin was the only indication that he had even moved.
"How long have you been working with that?" He asked, as he moved to replace his practice weapon in the racks.
"A few days -" Zhi began, cutting off as he stumbled and turned to look at her in mild surprise.
"Truly?"
"Well, yes. I have been working with the pike mainly, but Cao Ang thought I would do better with the spear."
"He thought right. But then that man could teach a rock to use a blade. With you, the potential… It is too bad you were not born a boy…" he trailed off, staring at her in an odd way – almost as one would gaze jealously at a coveted item.
"Ah! Bai Zhi!"
Both Zhi and Xiahou Dun looked over toward Cao Ang as he entered the courtyard. Zhi groaned to herself. Here came Cao Ang for her lesson.
But instead of picking a weapon out of the racks, he strode over to them, holding up a small sheet of parchment.
"Marching orders," he declared almost gleefully.
Zhi sighed in contentment as she came up for air, blessedly cool water streaming from her face. She had found the big pond while looking for a quiet place for meditation after the soldiers had set up camp. Without a second thought, she had shed her sweaty clothes and entered the water, enjoying the cool bliss.
For the past week she had been on the march with Cao Ang, Dian Wei, and their small detachments. Each day had dawned hotter and more humid than the one before – or so it had seemed to her. The men seemed unaffected by the heat; they merely adjusted their armor, mopped sweat from perspiring faces, and carried on. Zhi, however, had made no effort to hide her discomfort. She had shed hot, smelly leather armor and rolled the sleeves of her shirt so that her arms were as bare as Dian Wei's. She began to see why he went about with a shaven head and minimal armor – much cooler that way.
During the hottest hours of the day, the men wrapped white water-soaked cloths about their heads to keep the worst of the sun off. Seeming to understand her envious gaze, Dian Wei had reined his horse up beside hers and offered a square of the white cloth and patiently showed her how to wrap it about her head so that the end hung over her neck. When she turned to smile appreciatively at him, he had already ridden ahead to take his place beside Cao Ang.
Zhi sighed again in pleasure and turned her thoughts to the mission as she lazily floated in the water beneath the cool moonlight. Bandits had been harassing a few small villages just within the eastern border of Cao Cao's territory. Due to the location, Cao Cao suspected remnants of the Yellow Turbans. Zhi had been sent with Cao Ang and Dian Wei to show the way to former outposts should the bandits reveal themselves as members of the scattered army of Zhang Jiao.
Suddenly no longer content, she turned and began to swim back to shore with long, even strokes. She was anxious to finish with this mission but her unease had no close end in sight. While she had convinced herself she was firmly loyal to Cao Cao's cause, she could not help but feel a traitor.
Zhi, however, knew of a small outpost within a day's march of their current location and would lead the soldiers to it to confirm the presence – or absence - of the pesky bandits, Yellow Turban or not.
A glance to the sky showed her that the moon had risen above the treetops. She sighed in misery. If she did not return soon, her absence would be noticed, and Dian Wei's scouts would come looking for her. She ducked under the water one last time and swam toward shore. She felt the heat hit her as she stood up from the water. Even at night, with the liquid pouring off of her skin, the heat was oppressive. She did not relish a battle in it. She inwardly groaned at the thought.
As she reached for her clothes, a slight noise in the surrounding forest caught her attention. With a silent hiss, she crouched, fumbling in the dark for something to hide her nakedness.
Damn them! She thought. I can't have any privacy with all of these men tromping about! Please, don't let them see me!
She grabbed something – her tunic – and drew it awkwardly over her head with one hand, while groping for the rest of her things with the other. The tunic only covered her to mid-thigh, but it was better than nothing. And it was certainly better than allowing one of the sentries to stumble upon her while struggling into the rest of her clothes.
Her pounding heart stopped when an unfamiliar voice spoke in the darkness,
"And what do we have here?"
Zhi swallowed hard as shabby, but dangerous looking men appeared from the trees. Leers appeared on faces scraggly with unkempt beards. She dropped into a fighting stance, baring her teeth and trying to hide her terror.
She counted the ones that she could see, trying not to worry about the ones she could not see, lurking in the darkness still. The one who had spoken began to move closer. She fought to control her breathing – the camp was more than a half a mile away. She could alert them, but it would take them some time to arrive to aid her; if they even heard her shouts. And if she lost control of her magic, she would be at the mercy of the bandits. She was not naïve; she had no doubt as to what her fate would be.
With a sublime force of will, she forced her breathing to assume the proper rhythms. Then, as loud as she could,
"AMBUSH!"
As the man in front of her rushed at her, she wondered vaguely why he had not drawn the sword at his left hip. Then she grinned savagely.
Because he was not expecting this!
A bolt of lightning roared out of the clear night sky, accompanying thunder crashed down simultaneously. Zhi had her eyes closed, but red light burned through her eyelids. Harsh roars of pain and confusion echoed in the following darkness, shattering the moment of heavy silence following the blast.
She opened her eyes. The man before her was an unrecognizable, smoldering lump on the ground. Zhi turned her attention to the others. Most of them were blundering about blindly, their night vision ruined by the fierce light of the elemental attack. But two were making their way unerringly toward her.
Almost casually, Zhi summoned Fire and they went up in a blaze so hot that they were dead before they could scream.
"Witch!"
Zhi whirled. Men were pouring from the trees.
I suppose these are our bandits, she thought wryly to herself. Her attention was distracted by an eerie whistling sound that coalesced into an arrow. Before she could react, it sliced through the meaty portion of her upper arm. Blurting out a surprised sound of pain, she tried a simple summoning of Air, one she had thus far not mastered – and laughed in triumph. The dome formed around her, exactly as the scroll said it would, and would keep out the arrows.
However, it would not stop the men. She did not know how to form a Dome that would keep living beings out.
Three came at her, brandishing various types of weapons. She took a breath, released it, and a second tower of flame rose into the sky. As it died, she heard familiar voices in the night. Wincing as arrows clattered against her Dome, she called out,
"Cao Ang! They have archers!"
She did not expect a reply and did not wait for one. Letting the Dome dissipate, she darted into the night, seeking the relative safety of the trees – and the archers that would easily pick off her comrades. Swearing in disgust as she nearly tripped over the charred corpse of one her attackers, she leapt into the brush as another arrow nearly hit her. In the more complete darkness of the foliage, she crouched and listened. She could not see anything; the feeble rays of the moon did not penetrate though the treetops.
A thought flashed through her mind. The scroll had hinted at something…
Hesitantly, she extended her arm in front of her body, the palm of her hand facing outward, fingers spread – the sensitive pads of her fingertips bared to the air. She held her breath, summoned Air, and waited.
Slowly, the sounds of the night reached her ears. The scurrying of tiny creatures, the faint rustling of the leaves, and…. there! She tensed, recognizing the rush of air into and out of a human chest. Of two, three – she counted five in all.
Only five? She thought.
With their relative positions fixed in her mind, she summoned Fire. Forming a tiny, compact sphere formed entirely of the powerful element, she studied it in amazement for a second before she flung it with lethal accuracy at the nearest archer. The Firebolt was as solid as a crossbow bolt and just as lethal. She Listened and heard it punch through leather armor and flesh like paper. The archer died silently.
Fiercely proud of her work, she turned her attention the remaining four archers and went through the same process. Listen, Firebolt. Listen, Firebolt. Her work was flawless and took less than a minute.
She turned her attention back to the others. Closest to her, in the clearing between the forest and the shore of the pond, she recognized Dian Wei easily. His shaven head gleamed in the moonlight and he swung his massive axe with brutal efficiency. The silvery arc of his blade was stained bright red with fresh blood and made a mockery of the half moon whose shape it mimicked. She watched the warrior as he fought, forgetting herself in the awe of his power. He had apparently been roused from sleep, or some sort of rest, for he was bare-footed and bare-chested; his only accoutrement being the targe strapped to his left forearm that he used both to bash opponents and block the swipes of their weapons.
Shaking her head sharply in disgust with herself, she burst into the clearing as Dian Wei hacked the head from a man's body, kicking the headless corpse away as it slowly fell. He turned toward her, obviously expecting an opponent, and then grinned fiercely – more a baring of teeth – when he recognized her.
Together they turned to re-engage the battle, back-to-back, ready for the next assault.
But to Zhi's surprise, the battle was already over. She was astonished to note the numbers of bodies on the ground. Relieved that none appeared to be from their ranks, she made a silent tally. Over thirty – not including the six she had taken out by Fire and Lightning, nor the five archers that still lay in the trees.
At his call, she turned to recognize Cao Ang waving his sword in her direction. She could not make out his expression with his face obscured by his helmet, but his body language was not angry.
She smiled and returned his wave, then stopped to look curiously at the figure staggering up behind him. A bared blade rose up over Cao Ang's head and behind her Dian Wei roared,
"NO!" He rushed toward Cao Ang with surprising swiftness but he would never be able to stop the would-be assassin.
Zhi did not think; with a flick of her fingers, she summoned and released a pulse of power she had never in her life dreamed she could call. It was a chaotic tangle of Earth and Air, and when it hit the man behind Cao Ang, the elements were absorbed in his body. Time seemed to hang suspended as she watched the blade hover over Cao Ang helplessly. Silence, louder than the earlier crash of thunder, lay heavy over the clearing.
Suddenly, a horrified expression twisted the assassin's features. The silence was broken as his body exploded from within. Cao Ang was splattered with unrecognizable lumps of tissue and gruesome fluids. One of the soldiers that had been hurrying to his aid suddenly threw himself away from the carnage and began retching.
She had unknowingly moved forward and Dian Wei was a solid presence to her right; she caught a look of pure disbelief on his severe features.
Cao Ang's eyes were wide with both shock and disgust. He held his arms away from his body, and his shoulders were hunched against the mess that covered him.
"Zhi," he said quietly, almost calmly. "Did that man just… explode?" His voice broke on the last word.
In a small voice, she replied,
"I… I think so."
Cao Ang nodded solemnly. The sounds of more retching filled the quiet. The soldiers stood uselessly nearby, not quite knowing what to do. Cao Ang slowly turned to stare behind him for a moment.
He stared at the grisly remains of his attacker for a moment before he raised his head to address them.
"Gather up the bodies and burn them," he said firmly, not a hint of his emotions revealing themselves in his voice. "Take their weapons and search their belongings for information, then return to camp." He was silent a moment. "And double the watch."
His voice seemed to restore action to the men. As Cao Ang began stripping off his armor, he strode toward the pond.
The sudden release of tension caused Zhi return to herself. In dawning horror, she stared at what she had wrought and began to tremble. Dian Wei grabbed her when she began to sway.
"Here now," he growled brusquely, "There's no need for that – you did just fine." He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and turned her to face him.
"Consider this you first lesson – you must control your emotions if you are to have any hope to combat blood lust."
He watched her regain control of herself and nodded curtly. It was at that point that he noticed her state of near undress and looked away, a harsh breath leaving him. He snapped his fingers briskly at a nearby soldier and said,
"Corporal, your cloak." The man did not hesitate. He must have been on duty, for he was still wearing all of his gear. Very carefully not looking at her, the corporal untied his oiled rain cloak lashed at the small of his back and passed it to Dian Wei. Abruptly, exhaustion roared through her body and she staggered when he passed the cloak to her.
Turning away from her as she settled the cloak around her shoulders, he barked,
"Cao Ang! I'm taking her back to camp."
Cao Ang did not answer, but waved a hand in their direction as a reply. Now shirtless, he was scrubbing sticky blood from his armor and tunic at the edge of the pond. A second soldier approached Dian Wei.
"The Lady's…ah… things, lieutenant," he said, holding out the rest of her clothes and her boots. The big warrior accepted them with one hand and steered Zhi away from the general vicinity of the battleground, a firm hand at the small of her back. He gave her her boots as she stopped to sit on a boulder. She fumbled awkwardly with them, trying to keep the cloak around her and pull a boot on at the same time, her limbs flaccid with exhaustion. Frustrated, she jumped when Dian Wei knelt before her began easing the boot onto her foot.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I just can't seem to – "
"Don't worry about it," he interrupted as he settled the other boot on her foot.
She remained silent, watching him.
"Come on," he said, pulling her to her feet. He began to lead her back to the campsite before stopping suddenly to eye her speculatively.
"And stop thinking about it."
Pulling her along by a hand, he tramped into the trees.
"How can I not think about it?" she snapped suddenly. "That was evil magic!"
She could not see the expression on his face, but she heard him snort.
"How was killing that last man different from killing the others? Why is that particular act so much more wicked than using Lightning or Fire or a blade to kill? In a battle you either kill or you are killed yourself. You did the killing and you are alive; so is Cao Ang for that matter, another man lives because of your actions. The means with which you slay a man in battle does not constitute your affiliation with good or evil – it just means that you are better at it than the other man."
"Well then why do I feel so bad?" she asked angrily. "Why did Cao Ang look at me as if I were some sort of monster?"
"You are no monster," he growled. "You are a survivor. Anything else does not matter"
She remained silent. He was right; she had no reason to feel guilty. The man had died quickly. She was sure it would not have been so for her had she been captured. With a deep breath, she straightened shoulders that she had not realized had been hunched in a defeated manner. Dian Wei glanced over at her newly determined expression and stopped pulling her along.
A satisfied expression took over his face as he gazed at her.
"Very good," he murmured. "We'll make a warrior of you yet."
It was at that moment that her attitude – her entire being - changed. Confidence settled over her and she drew herself up haughtily in the borrowed cloak. No longer would she skulk about, self-deprecating and guilt-ridden. A newfound passion began to burn in her heart and she suddenly began to anticipate the next battle. She grinned up at Dian Wei, who responded with a rare smile.
"It will be an honor to fight with you," he said quietly. His expression changed and Zhi caught her breath. Tension sprang up between them. She could not wrench her gaze from the darkness of his eyes.
The palpable mood shattered as a sentry hailed the Captain, who shook his head once as if to clear it and turned away from her to answer. She shook her own head, feeling as if something significant had just occurred. Dian Wei gave his orders to the sentry, and then turned back to her, passing over the rest of her clothes. They entered the camp side by side, equals now. He escorted her to her tent, both of them silent.
Holding the canvas flap up for her, he said,
"Cao Ang will be expecting a debriefing. I'll send someone for you when he returns."
Zhi stared up at him for a moment, and then ducked into the tent. It took her a moment the still the fine trembling that had suffused her body, a shivering that no longer resulted from her horror of her magic, but from an emotion far more primitive. Quashing her thoughts deep into her mind, she began dressing.