Thanks you guys I didn't expect to get any reviews. I'll try to update asap but my prom is coming up soon so I don't know if I'll be doing it as soon as I can, so bare with me please =]

I do not own twilight or If only

The italics are flashbacks

Edward Pov

I awoke the next morning with tears in my eyes. I would never see her again. I felt as if I was alone in the world now and I had no one there who understood me. I rolled over to the bed post and spotted her diary. She was infatuated with putting her songs and dreams into it. Now it was the only thing I had to know that she was truly real and a part of my life. I opened the book and began to read the first page:

I've been working on this song about me and Edward. I want to give it to him before I go away, but I'm afraid it'll scare him, so I brought him a jacket instead. They say there's always someone in a relationship who loves more. Oh God I wish it wasn't me.

why couldn't have I just given her the attention she wanted.

'Read one word and I'll kill you' said the familiar voice.

It was Bella. I looked at her with a face full of grief and horror. She must have looked at my expression and saw that something was wrong.

'I was just kidding! I was just kidding!'

"Y-y-your here."

Bella PoV

"Yes and your scaring me"

He looked at me like he had just seen a ghost. He had scared me by screaming when he saw me.

"I-I-I-I-I . . ."

"You . . .?"

"I"

"You . . .?" I had never seen him like this before he began backing away from me. "Now I'm gonna approach you and then I'm gonna hug you ok?" I began to walk towards him to give him a hug. He seemed to have relaxed a little more. I have no idea what's wrong with him. "Everything's gonna be ok" I reassured him.

Edward PoV

The morning before:

I had woken up to Bella kissing me. She didnt want to leave me. She would be leaving soon to see her mother get married to phil and i had already settled upon not going. While kissing her I noticed the time.

"Oh Crap" I said rushing from the bed.

"Ooo you sweet talker you." she said sarcastically

"I have to get dressed, run through my notes, rehearse my presentation."

"How are you just going to ignore your half naked girl friend? Give me just 2 seconds."

"Bella."

"You stay right there and don't move your cute little British butt."

She left the room and came back wearing a trench coat.

"It's perfect." I said.

"I know and it only cost 10 pounds. Plus it comes with this . . ."

She opened the jacket and had on white silk lingerie.

"The lining is nice" I said jokingly. She looked great. I ran over and picked her up in my arms and began to kiss her. But then I saw the time again and stopped.

"What?" she said frustrated

"I have to get going"

She gave me a face that gave me a look of disappointment.

"You know how important it is, and what it could mean for us if it goes well."

She opened up the jacket. "Edward"

"Bella"

I began to walk away to start the shower. She climbed on me.

"Ok after you close the deal we could go to Arizona. I really want you to come with me to my mom's wedding.

I looked away we had already talked over this.

"You're not coming?"

"I'm really sorry"

"It's ok" she said with a sad face as she walked away. I walked back into the room.

"Look I'm really sorry about not being able to go to Indiana"

"It's Arizona"

"Oh sorry again . . . Well see the next wedding"

"What next wedding?"

"Ours next year"

She chuckled "why would i want to marry a guy who doesn't even know his own girlfriends mothers state.

I left the room and got in the shower. After I had stepped out of the shower I was smacked in the face by the smell of pancakes. I walked in to see Bella making a pancake over the stove. She smiled when she saw me.

"What are you doing?" I said

"Look I don't care how important this meeting is you are going to sit and eat breakfast with me."

"Look Bella . . ."

"Bella nothing, sit." She reached for the coffee pot on the stove and burned her hand. I rushed over to help.

"Oh God I am such a klutz!"

"Here" I said as I placed a piece of ice in her hand. "Better?"

"Yes I guess"

Edward PoV

"I'm really going to miss you, you know that."

"Me too I really will miss you Bella I hope you know that." I said it as I placed both my hands on her cheeks looking into her eyes trying to wrap my head around the situation.

"I do." She said looking a bit lost.

"It's important that you believe me" If she only knew the things that were to come.

"I believe you Edward. And I would hate for you to have to go through so much pain, so in stead of missing me come with me to Arizona."

"Bella"

"You don't want to go?" the look of disappointment flooded onto her face like yesterday.

"I can't" I could not belive this how is she here.

"I get it you have work and the meeting its very important"

"I had a meeting and you . . . you . . ."

"Look Edward you're going to be great today you prepared all week" she said as she kissed me. Then she began to walk out the room.

"Don't go anywhere, where are you going?" I could not waste a second of time being away from her.

"Just sit and don't move your cute little British butt."

"There's a gift" I said aloud trying to remember how yesterdays morning went.

"Yup"

"This can't be happening"

"O yes it can I like to give you gifts and I want to give you this before I leave"

"Ta dah" she walked into the room wearing the trench coat from yesterday. What do you think? It only cost 10 pounds. Plus it comes with this . . ." She started to open the jacket.

"OH MY GOD" I said. Everything's happening again.

She quickly closed it up. "That's not quite the reaction I was looking for"

"I'm sorry I just had this terrible nightmare and I can't seem to get it out of my head. I-I-I and y-you . . ."

"We?"

"Yes"

". . . Should go eat some breakfast?"

"Yes yes let's eat together!" I hurried and got dressed for the day. I rushed as fast as I could not wanting to be away from her.

"I am the greatest" said Bella in the kitchen

I rushed in remembering yesterday she burned her hand I had to warn her. "Bella watch out!" As I walked into the kitchen she had picked up the pot with a cloth this time.

"I saw it" she chuckled. "You crazy yelling man"

I stood in shock. "I just wanted you to be careful that all".

She left the room to go and curl her hair, I followed. She began to hum one of her songs. Her voice was beautiful. I can't see how I over looked this. "Hey Bella you really need to share your voice with others it beautiful. You have the gift of song writing you need to share it"

"You're biased"

"Maybe a little" I smiled and began to kiss her. As we fell deeper into the kiss she fell over and burned her hand on the curlers.

"Oh God I'm such a klutz.

"You just burned your hand" I stood there confused looking at her hand.

"Thanks for observing that. Ow ow it burns."

She left the room going to find ice. I stood there in disbelief this can't be happening how could it had happened . . .

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