9 Old Classmates
Chapter Six
Why was Ron Weasely never mentioned
Ron Weasely was gifted. His eyes were veiled by intuition. Aura, darkness and light, everything was exposed to him in a way so brutal, it could almost feel demonic. It wasn't great. It was horror. He never thought he was special, actually, he believed everyone was like him, sensitive to people's souls, and what a great surprise it was to discover no one was like him, and he was alone in a loud crowded place where no one was just like him - if he wanted to be honest with himself, Ron hated his gift, not because it was a burden or a talent, Ron just hated to be the one that was gifted - it should have been Ginny and not him, she would know what to do, she always knows what to do.
"There are fairies who sew our fate, day and night they work for our future." his mother tucked him in bed with a smile.
"Why they do it mum?" he asked while watching his sister sighing in her sleep, "We must make our own fate."
Deep down at the abyss of his existence, Ron, the sixth son of the family, often wondered why he lacked what others seem to have plenty. Bill was an excellent student, Charlie was too but not because he wanted, he was just extremely competitive. Percy was good at managing. Fred and George were - well, they were not nearly as devoted as their eldest siblings when it came to school, but they were good people, with kind hearts and eyes. And Ginny, she was the pride of the family, the righteous daughter, the joy of all. He never thought about what was his part in his family, he never thought if it was his actual place. Eyes, hair and nose might be like theirs, but his insides were different. Ron was different. So he would be left to stare, to observe, he didn't know what he was looking for, he just knew he will find it - and there he stayed, afar, searching what his gift offered - often he would stare at his family members, his mother and father were pure love, their colours were matching perfectly, not a single spectrum of hate, Bill was strong, his aura was demanding validation, Charlie was sensitive and quite, George was happy and wished happiness and joy on others, Ginny was different, there were shadows in her aura, intruders, and Fred's, Fred's was fading away, Ron knew he will die soon, he didn't know how he knew it, but there was death surrounding his brother and Ron favourited him for it - in his mind he thought Fred was lucky, he will stop being part of this stupid world and he will find his peace, what's better than that? And as many times as he tried to find what kind of aura he had, staring blankly himself in the mirror every morning, he found out he had none - and he loved himself for it, he thought he was special and unique, he thought he was the only one until he realized he didn't know himself, he never cared to find out who was he and what he was doing in this world - so he stayed afar from this self-friendship, and without noticing, Ron was left in the dark.
Wednesday, 12:16
I love you
Katerina Weasley left him a note in the book he was reading about dragons and proper feeding. He smiled. It was all he needed to see to fill his heart and mind with motivation. This is what Katerina was doing to him - it was unreal. She was filled with kindness and hope, she was supportive and funny, motivation was overflooding her body as positivity painted the world with hard-boiled optimistic shades. She was always there. She had the answer to anything. And she was comforting. Her presence was relaxing him - often Ron wondered how would she experience his world, how would she be if fought the Dark Lord, how would she react if hunting Horcruxes, would her spirit fall like a trembling card tower, or would it blossom greater? And always the answer remained the same, he would do anything not to witness the horror he did, the loss and the hurt. He didn't want her to fill with the darkness he once faced, either the thoughts and the isolation - but mostly, Ron never wanted her to demolish the well-rooted beacon of hot flamed hope in her heart because it was that hope that rescued him, it was that hope that kept him alive and focused on his goals, it was that hope that made him strong again, whole, healed. He didn't know if he deserved it, or her. In his eyes, she was the greatest being, and she actually was. Ron's demons were exorcised, and those little nightmares that haunted him became so rare he felt worried - but it felt nice to be worried for those moments, it meant something, it showed something, deep down Ron knew that awkward boy back in Hogwarts was long gone, and that shadow that followed Harry Potter and Hermione Granger ripped off, making him look clearer what was ahead, and even if some times those nightmares were missed, Ron's choice to adopt a life he never thought possible, made him happy.
"Can you believe his audacity?" Harry sat down next to him and Ron's smile was gone.
Harry Potter. Years after the end of Voldemort, Ron realized he was bringing back in mind specific situations involving Harry and Hermione, and in the cinema of his mind repeated the scenes in need to find a link, something, anything to be bonding, and all those times, Ron found nothing. It sad him, but mostly it concerned him. He would do much to be like them, he would read, he would seem fearless, he would surround himself with loyal friends, and he would guard himself with trust. And after all that try, he would feel empty and used - it wasn't clear to him then, and it would get him a lot of time and effort to realize what happened those years, but Ron was a pawn, the man that was sent to be in the front, to be pointed at, to be shamed, and without knowing it, Ron would allow anything just for Harry to be pleased. He never thought why, or when he started to behave like this, he just know he was exposed to the hot truth of being one of Potter's friends, and who wouldn't want to be?
Sure, yes, he loved him, in a brotherly way, but he was driving him mad most of the time, it was all for him, everything was around Harry and his problems and his doings, his strugglings, his loss and grief and poor Harry, poor little boy he grew up with an aunt that hated him and an uncle who was a moving fat crease, but fuck them and fuck Potter and his life, people face struggles every day, worse than his and never complained about anything, grow some balls - "Do you mind?" Ron pointed at the book he was reading.
"What?" he looked confused and offended. "How can you be so insensitive?" Harry's face turned red, but it was from the lack of oxygen and his fat belly. "Malfoy confessed his love for Hermione, the girl you fancied, your - "
"That was nothing, and I do not care." he looked him dead in the eye and Harry frowned. "And it's alerting how your mind is stuck to what had happened then than focusing on the now." he closed the book and stood up, "It's not that you don't understand we've been accusing of murder, is the utter fascination over Malfoy that worries me."
Harry laughed, "I have nothing to worry about, I didn't kill him - "
"Are you sure?"
"What does that mean?" Harry's attempt to stand up failed, "Do you think I had something to do with his suicide?" he managed to stand, angry eyes kept challenging him.
Ron smirked, "Did the investigation open by itself?"
There were times Ron wished Harry would give his hand to Draco Malfoy, everything would be better if he just shook his hand - first of all, he wouldn't be his friend. A world without Harry Potter. His life without Harry Potter. He imagined himself waking up and going to the Great Hall, say some silly talks with Seamus, maybe Neville, he is a nice mate, he would go to classes, he would play Quidditch without the stress of being perfect as it sure needed while being part of Potter's life. He would have a girlfriend, maybe more, finish his studies, and go to Romania, just like he dreamt of. Secondly, he would sleep. He would close his eyes and he will be dreaming - he never dreamt when in Hogwarts, the days he spent there were unnoticed, nothing mattered because everything was surrounding Harry and his mission, Ron never had something his there, something that only belonged to him, never adapted, never enjoyed anything, he was just present so he wouldn't be absent. You might think he was pretending, he tried to, but he hated being fake, he even hated to be named Pureblood. Lastly, he would be free.
"You are so lucky! Harry Potter! Your friend!" Ginny sat down next to him. Ron never said what happened in their first year. And probably never will.
He never understood why his parents loved the idea of him being friends with Harry. In his mind there was just the sad part - the kid with no family, the parentless boy with the scar, the legend and the bad omen - it was when he got him back to the Burrow with his father's car he realized what a strong card Harry was using. Molly never found a word to perfectly express what Harry Potter was, Charlie once said tool and Ron laughed.
"A seeker?" Ron asked with a breathy laugh.
"Thanks to Malfoy!" Harry smiled as if it was the most normal thing in the world - Ron wondered then if he was talented or simply favourited, he could never tell.
"It runs on your blood." Hermione said and drag them to show Harry who his father was - brilliant, Hermione will now join the Harry Potter adoration club with seasonal tickets only, because in the summertime he rests - and some selves below Ron found Chalrie's captain badge. He smiled before realizing how neglected he will be since sharing his years with Harry Potter. Hermione put her arm around Harry's telling him they will be late for class.
Hermione. Her aura was a tangled bright light with shades of violet and blue, wisdom was like a guardian angel to her, braveness was the foundation of her being - there were times Ron wondered why he admires her so much, and all was coming back to his family, his roots, every inch of her existence was everything his family values, but it never stopped there - Hermione had the strongest aura he ever witnessed, so powerful that it could almost hug her tight, get drank of her soul and own her body. And Ron fell under her spell, problem was, Hermione's eyes were carefully placed on Leonard Zabini.
"Easy there, you git!" Ron had hit Zabini's shoulder. "I said, careful." and Ron's eyes met his. And he got scared. There was nothing there, there was no soul, no aura, there was no darkness, only jealousy and pain. And he got scared. So scared. He never thought he will meet someone like Leonard Zabini, he never thought he will see someone without future, without past, without love. And Leonard was standing there, an empty vessel with charismatic features and perfect eyes. He was living on borrowed time and the worse thing was, he didn't know. Everything surrounding him was cruel and frightening, cold and unreached - his mother told him once, there are no evil people, only evil actions turning you into someone unknown, maybe his mother never met Leonard Zabini. "I am talking to you." his voice might have sounded amused, but his eyes weren't.
"Sorry." he left without taking his eyes off him. Little did he know, Leonard was challenged.
The note Neville took from his rodes that morning, wrote PIGSLEY, with bright pink letters and a pig's tail hanging at the end. Ron's cheeks burned. It had been almost two weeks since the last time he stuck a note on him. "Don't say this to Harry."
"Why?" Neville asked and Ron walked away mad. Of course and Harry shouldn't know about this, what would he say? What could he possibly think of him? He ran away from a Slytherin. A Slytherin talking to Draco Malfoy that is. Harry would never forgive him if he knew how Leonard was allowed to act - he could see it playing out like a well-directed movie - ACT ONE, Harry Potter would actually acknowledge Ron's existence in his life, he would see the bullying, the accidental trip ups on the stairs or the narrowed corridors leading to the Potion's room, he would ask what was that about and Ron would actually talk to someone for Leonard Zabini and his cold flesh. ACT TWO, Harry would get mad. Not because Ron did not tell him earlier something so important in his life, but because Leonard is a Slytherin, and Harry would do everything to stand out from a Slytherin. He would have prepared a plan, an easy one, a sloppy one, and he would assure Ron everything will be okay. Of course and it wouldn't, because Hermione was not the one preparing the plan, and preparing them too. ACT THREE, the plan would go to hell, taking them with it. Harry would get mad, blaming Ron for their failure. Like he always did, not with words but with stares, intense, haunted stares. It was easier not to tell him. It was easier to be Harry's friend and not expect him to be Ron's friend.
"Alright." Hermione left her books next to him, snapping him out of his dreamland, "I will go to the library for the next two, two and a half hours maybe.. hello?" Ron met her eyes, "Will you meet me at the library to go to the match?" she breathly laughed.
"Sure." but he never met her. Leonard was waiting for him outside the Gryffindor entrance, in his hands was hiding a smelling bomb, he teased him until there were plenty of people around them, and when it finally hit him, Ron heard PIGSLEY for the rest of the year.
And Ron got hurt. It wasn't the name calling, either the way some of his classmates were giggling when he walked by, he didn't care about it that much, it was Harry's deafening inaction that broke his knees and made him weak - Harry, with all his glorious virtuous chose not to take his side, "he just wants attention," Harry said and Ron left to stare at him, of course and he didn't expect him to run a crusade and save him from the brutal words of Leonard Zabini's mouth, but he did expect his friend to have his back, how many times Ron ran for his needs, he almost got killed in that chest game, he was ready to fight no questions ask when Harry was calling, he was ready to leave everything behind for his sake, and Harry, Harry just didn't want to fight Ron's battle.
"That fucking idiot thought he can mess with our brother - "
"Pigsley started it - "
"Call him pigsley once more - " Fred's long legs needed two steps to reach his bed and grab him from his robes.
"Set your filthy hands off me!" Leonard pushed him away. "You bloody twat - "
"Both of you! Mr Weasley! Please, do not make things go worse!" Madam Pomfrey split them, "10 points off, each!" she watched Leonard's eyes get madder.
"What, what happened?" Blaise Zabini ran in the hospital wing, Ron rolled his eyes, git, he thought and Leonard made a disgusted grin.
"Fucking weasel happened - "
"Language!" Madam Pomfrey yelled as she walked to Ron's bed, in her hands some bandage. "You are just like your older brothers Mr Weasley! Why can you see trust in your oldest siblings?"
"Fuck off Zabini - " Ron made a move only to feel pain again. His ribs were broken, his lip had a cut, his nose broken, and his small finger too. Fred and George told him not to move again, but he was hurt, his whole body was screaming, his muscles were burning, his flesh was feeling every stretch, every touching as if it was burned by a hot iron. His hand started to shake, funny, there was the only place covered in Leonard's blood.
"Did he do that to you?" Blaise asked and met Ron's eyes - and Ron got confused. Hermione used to talk about Blaise some nights when the two of them would sit speechless in front of the fireplace, needing to steal moments of silence, away from Harry and his drama, his reputation, his thoughts and his doings - Ron never realized this, but Hermione was getting tired of him too, she only had a better poker face than him, so she would talk about Blaise, she would say how smart he was, how most of the times she would feel threatened by his knowledge and what he can do, she would say how different he was from his brother - and then she would stop, Hermione never spoke about Leonard in front of Ron, she didn't know why and Ron never asked, but it was as if she was splitting her life in two, her life with Leonard and her life without him, silly Ronald thought she loved her life without him more - but seeing Blaise that moment, seeing him there, exposed to what his brother did, believing it or not, Ron saw greatness.
"He started it - " Leonard pointed to Ron with his head.
"You punched me, you filthy animal - "
"Both of you!" Madam Pomfrey looked at them with dangerous eyes, with a wave of her hand she closed the curtains to Leonard's bed.
"He is a git." Fred said and sat down next to Ron. He offered him another tissue for the cut on his lip. "Honestly, he doesn't worth it."
"Don't give a Zabini the luxury of attention." but Ron paid no attention to what his brother said. No. Ron actually blamed himself. Of course and he shouldn't, but he did.
And for the past weeks, a habit was created - he was in pain and he was taking a painkiller, but it kept him awake, so Ron would walk. At night everything was as it meant to be - delicate and blossoming under dark corners, sleeping statues and snoring oily painted canvas kept him company till the end of the beginning of his day - he would walk, he would hide from perfects and he would try hard to get lost in the corridors and found himself in a foreign land he will get to discover. His steps were light and his mind always clean, soundless - he would be there and he would stare at where others fancy in the morning, warm bouffe or boiling poisons, appreciated by his lightless hour, and only when the castle stopped providing safety, Ron would think about his life - he would wonder if, like Hermione, he had split his life in two, a life following Harry and a life of his own where the only existing spectrum was fighting with Leonard Zabini, he couldn't even remember when was the last time he played chess or the last time he dreamt, or smiled or enjoy. Everything in his life was either Harry or broken ribs.
"What are you doing here?" a voice made him snap out of his thoughts. He looked around him to see he stood in the middle of the viaduct. "Are you sleepwalking?" Malfoy asked, and for a second Ron thought to talk back at him, but he had nothing personal with Draco Malfoy, sure he made him throw up slugs and Ron gave him a black eye in their first year, but there was no bad blood between them, Ron hardly knew him and because Harry said; we hate him, he is mean blah blah, oh my mother is dead so everyone needs to be nice and kind to me blah blah and everything has to go my way blah blah, Ron acted as told. So no, he is not going to talk back.
"I couldn't sleep, I thought I should walk." he put his hands in his pockets, "What are you doing here?"
Malfoy debated with himself for a second, but he answered, "I am waiting for something."
"Epiphany?" Ron smirked, and if he would have paid attention to Draco, he might have seen his own smirk too.
"A delivery from my grandmother."
"Clean boxer briefs?" Draco rolled his eyes and turned to see his smug face.
"What can I help you with, Weasley?" he was starting to be annoyed and an annoyed Malfoy was not allowed today.
"There is nothing you can do, I am just bored and tired." he leaned on the stoned railing and crossed his arms under his chest.
"Bored and tired of being Potter's pet?"
"Like you never wanted to be Potter's pet." Ron rose a brow at him. Draco now mimicked his body posture.
"Well, go on!" he shrugged, "What seems to be the problem, Weasley?" he looked at him a bit annoyed at the position he put him in and Ron frowned confused.
"Fucking Leonard Zabini is the problem!"
Draco laughed, "Take a hating number and wait in line."
"I've seen you talking to him!"
"Only difference between us Weasley, is me using people I loath for my benefit, and now Leonard Zabini is serving his time." and he was sincere about his doings, of course and he was, Draco Malfoy had nothing to hide, no one to fool, he was just himself in a castle full of fuckers, "I am going to talk now, mostly because I want you gone till my delivery arrives." Ron made a silly grin, "You are a Pureblood wizard, wanted it or not. Potter will only lead his path, allowing you to grow in his shadow. It is not fair for any of us, yet, here we are being surrounded by his delusional self of being someone." Draco shrugged and Ron left to stare at him, "Your problem is, deep down, you know you walk behind him when you meant to lead."
"Said the man who asked to befriend him." and he heard Draco laughing.
"I grew up thinking businesses and Potter will be great business for the next decade, but then? What can he possibly do better than he does now?" he shrugged, "And for Merlin's beard, besides the lack of money, your family is greater than the Potters. Remember who you are."
And he did. Not because Malfoy pointed out the obvious, it was the idea of someone he had never considered a friend or even an acquaintance speaking brutally honest to him for the very first time in his life. The first thing he did when summer started was to ask his older brothers to teach him how to play Quidditch better, and for his sake, Charlie visited twice that summer, so he picked up a trick or two from him too. He met his mother at several family gatherings and talked to his father for their roots - quite the man his father was, Ron understood at once that their financial cross-path was his lack of knowledge and not the fact that they were outnumbered, and at that moment Ron promised himself to never lack money. And Ron changed. Gone was the boy who was always hiding behind others' achievements and doings, gone was the boy who was letting himself be pushed away, now he craved recognition and purpose. And as often happened to changed people, others did not like it.
"You want to try out for Quidditch?" Harry laughed out loud, "Just because I play Quidditch doesn't mean you have too." he left his things in one of the beds in the tent.
"It's because he's seen you play he wants to join." Fred said and smirked. "Besides, Ron is a Beater material, like his brothers." the emphasized word made him raise a brow.
Harry smiled the way he does when something happens and he doesn't like it, "Then he can try out, - "
It was Ron's time to laugh, "I didn't ask your approval. I statement my doings." up until this day, Ron will never forget Harry's gaze.
With the corner of his eye, he saw Draco Malfoy being mad and irritated, eyes stuck on the dance floor and he was certain he was cursing someone - next to him all classy and elegant, with her off-shoulders gown stood Pansy, she was even more irritated than Malfoy, fuck he hates pureblood witches so much - some Hufflepuff girls giggling over Dean Thomas and his sister was looking furiously at them, his sister? From afar he watched her walking furiously to them and grabbing by the hair a girl that dared to touch Dean's arm - Ron covered his head with his hand and walked to the drinks where some Ravenclaw girls had poured firewhiskey in the never-ending fruit punch. He served himself and stayed there, not bothering anyone, not wanting to be bothered by anyone - "Could you please move?" Pansy's voice made him roll his eyes. She fixed herself a drink and lay on the wall Ron was using. He looked at her and frowned. "You look awful." her eyes travelled up and down his tall body. He just sighed.
"Your approval means the world to me." she laughed and Ron looked at her amused and confused.
"Why not dance then?"
"My date ran off with a Dumstang mate, I think, that way?" he pointed to the exit with his finger. "You?"
"My date is.. moody." both of them looked at Draco Malfoy, his brows frowned, his whole body was put on guard, veins popping out and Ron was certain he was about to stand up and leave.
"Well, your date is a Malfoy." again, she laughed.
"Oh Ronald, to all our differences, you miss the self-same."
"And you don't?" to that she just smiled. She kept looking at him until she fixed the back of her dress wanting to leave, but before she did, she pushed him gently only some inches further.
"Everything is there to see." she whispered and walked to her table, opening the view to where Draco's eyes were landing every two seconds. And there was it, the reason why Draco Malfoy was irritated and mad, the reason why his whole body was put on guard and veins were popping out of his hands, Victor Krum holding Hermione. Another veil had lifted. He tried to curse under his breath, but he didn't do it - for some reason it was okay and for another, he got relieved. He hadn't realized what he was doing until everyone at the Slytherin table turned their heads to them.
"Dance with me." Ron said out of the blue grabbing Pansy's arm.
"What - "
"We are dancing." with a confidence he never thought he had, he lead them to the dance floor with everyone looking. "What did you just say to me." he meant to ask, but he was still shocked.
"You should know - "
"Why - "
"You are in love with her." she breathly laughed while following his lead. "Plus, he dumped me tonight, I needed to share with someone why."
"You are mean." Ron didn't know, but he was smirking. "Why you told me?"
"Because Ronald, you will do nothing about it." she shrugged and he stopped dancing. "You two will probably end up together, you will have a boring life, probably along with Potter, you will have two maybe three kids, Sundays will be for the family, all the family, you will go to work, you will return home, everything will remind you of school because you will never leave this place, no one of us will, we will be forever prisoned in the bonds of Potter's fate, whatever that will be." she shrugged again, "You will grow old, your children will have their children and you will be stuck in the body of the boy once was part of the Golden Trio, only to realize you never actually did anything, you are and always be a puppet, only because you accidentally befriended Harry Potter." she made a pity grin and she left, leaving him alone in the dance floor.
And his night walks continued, but this time he was adding Pansy's words to his thinking, problem was, with every awakening moment her words were creating a pattern of thinking, and soon he left to stare at the end of his life, knowing well, if he will continue living the way he did, he soon will stop being interested in anything. And it scared him. It made him realise two things, first, if he wanted to be free from Harry and his drama-inspired self, he needed to finish what he started with him, secondly, Ron needed to find what his soul lusted, he needed to see what he liked and how was like far away from Harry and Hermione, far away from his family and his siblings. And little by little, the fundamentals of his existence built, and he changed more, and again, not everyone was okay with it.
Hermione watered a towel and turned to see Ron's bloody mouth. She was disappointed and he was furious. Leonard had cornered him in the corridor leading to the Astronomy Tower, he demanded his attention, but Ron knew better now and kept ignoring him till he whispered; "I never knew we could share the same pussy though."
"I never knew you could have pussy." Leonard pushed him into the wall.
"Despite her eating disorder, it doesn't taste bitter - " with only one hand Ron pushed him away with a sudden move, only to grab him from his sweater to pull him back. "Don't you even try to deny it, I saw you two - "
"And I saw you buying and smoking weed." he lowered his voice.
"Are you following me - "
"You are not trying to hide Leonard." he spoke his name as if he was about to spit on it then pushed him away effortlessly. "Stay away from me, or I swear to Merlin, I will kill you." he didn't know why he attacked him this time, but now Hermione was cleaning his mouth.
"I don't like when you two are fighting."
"I fought no one, he came at me - " he grabbed the towel from her hands, "I don't have to explain myself to you, you made your choice - "
"What choice? We are not friends anymore - Ron!" she called him, but he had already left the bathroom.
Yes, sure. Does she hide in the Astronomy Tower with all her not-friends-anymore? He regretted the moment she thought of it - he was just mad, mad at her, mad at himself, but mostly, he was tired. He couldn't sleep anymore, Harry was talking in his sleep, Neville was snorting, he was close to tearing his ears off and feeding them to dragons - so Ron kept walking at night, every night. Till he found his way to the Library. And even if at first he found himself sleeping there for an hour or two, he started to read every book he could find about dragons. And soon Ron fell in love. And for the first time in his life, he had something to look for - a desire.
"Are they friends?" Hermione frowned when they walked in the Great Hall side by side.
Ron looked at them, he knew why they were friendly, but he would never say that to Hermione, "Don't know, don't care." he put more bacon on his plate.
"Do you know who has a dragon patronous?" she whispered and Ron wished she would keep reading her book. "The past nights visits me." she drank from her orange juice, "Isn't it weird - "
"Mione." she smiled at him, waiting to see if he will be at least a bit jealous, "I don't care." her face fell and nodded.
Ginny came with a smile on her face no one had ever seen before, she was happy and for a reason, she was about to commercialise Leonard; "We are dating for the past year!" she announced and Ron breathy laughed.
"No you are not." Ron grabbed a pancake and some honey, not giving her attention.
"I am!" her voice was a pitch higher.
"You spent the summer crying over Dean!" Ron met Hermione's disbelieving eyes.
"I wasn't! Leon and I had some ups and downs this summer - "
"We live in the same Burrow - "
"Ron!" she widened her eyes the way she did when she was young and hadn't her way. "I am dating Leon now. Okay?" Leonard gave him a smirk and he narrowed his eyes.
Now every day that fucker was at their table, sitting and kissing his sister, his one hand constantly under the table and a disgusting feeling was spreading fast in Ron's stomach with every passing minute - on top of them, Harry started to spend time with him too, Ron had seen them talking and walking late at night and he might not even say a thing if one night Harry got disappeared from his sight in the middle of a corridor, okay yes, he was following them, but only because something was not adding up - so he tοld Hermione everything. She had her own suspicious but before she could do anything, Harry almost killed Draco Malfoy - Hermione was sitting at the end of the sofa, eyes blank, hands into fists while holding her wand, "Mione?" he asked and she looked at him as blankly as before, "Are you alright - "
"He - there is blood..." her eyes now fakely saw the back of her hands, "blood." her voice came out in a whisper, "S-Snape, Dra-" and he held her, he held her so tight that her trembling torso found comfort and her breathing was normal. It took him a while to understand what had happened mostly because of her chaotic messed cohesion and her whispering breaking voice, he wanted to believe Harry when he said he panicked but at night he slept as if nothing happened, he almost killed a man and he just fell asleep, but Ron couldn't.
"What are you doing here?" he asked but Ron didn't want to answer. He didn't know but his feet drove him to the Hospital Wing, wanting to see how bad Malfoy was, wanting to see how far Harry would get to get what he wants. "Hey!" he yelled and he stopped walking. He looked him over his shoulder. "What are you doing here?"
"Walking." Ron said and Leonard came in front of him.
"At this time?" he narrowed his eyes, "I should report you - "
"Wouldn't matter." he shrugged and Leonard seem to be bothered with him.
"I am dating your sister you know, you should respect me!"
Ron looked down at him, "You are nothing to me to respect you." he rose a brow and Leonard's face turned to a different one.
"You don't want to do this, Weasley." he warned.
"No, Zabini. You do not want to do this." but before Ron could understand what happened, Leonard grabbed his face and brought it closer to his, finding his lips against his, "What the fuck are you doing?" he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. He pushed him. "What the fuck!"
"I am really curious to see who will Ginny believes." he smirked at him and disappeared into the dark.
23:35
Blaise made no sound - deep down he actually hoped Ron had killed him, not that he would do something to him, no, he just hoped it was him, it would be easier, because for the past years he spent some time thinking Ron Weasley was the murderer, now he just knew he didn't even care about his brother to bother to take his life, ironic wasn't it? Blaise was pretty sure Leonard had a crush on Ron, but Ron didn't even care to be bothered by him. "That was the last time I spoke to him, but the last time I saw him was when The Room of Requirement threw us out, he was fighting over some Death Eaters, or at least he was trying to." Draco Malfoy raised his glass in appreciation of his chosen words.
"I can't believe the two of you." Harry said while looking at Hermione and Ron, "And here I thought we were friends!"
Ron laughed, "Why does it always have to be about you?"
"Excuse me?"
"What about me? What about Hermione?"
"What about you?" Harry laughed, "I was the one being haunted! I - I died!" he looked around the room, bored gazes were falling on him, "Oh Gods, you cannot be serious can you?" he felt his heart beating fast, Harry never thought someone would get tired of him.
"How can you be so naive?" Pansy was asking and Harry looked at her, "Look at you and tell me you are happy with yourself." her eyes scanned his fat body.
"Please, just because Ron got exposed to your perspective it doesn't mean it's right!"
"And your perspective is better?" Hermione expected an answer, but Harry had none, he just left to stare at her with a half-opened mouth.
"I thought we were friends! I thought you cared about me, about what was happening, about our mission and our losses - "
"We do care about you, but not about what was happening, sure it was cruel, and there is not a single day where I wish you did not have to go through what you did, but you water us to be your satellites and I don't know about Hermione, but it took me so much time to be me rather than your friend!"
"I never asked you to do anything! You literally volunteered!" Harry looked at Ron as if he was his inferior. "I was burdened with a noble purpose, defeat he should be no defeated," people looked bored at him, "restore balance - "
"Honey? Honey?" Pansy moved her hand to make him stop talking, "You were a pawn potter-bear, everyone used you, Voldy used you, the Ministry used you, fuck, even Dumbledore used you, he knew exactly what your path is and yet kept you alive to follow it, and if it wasn't for these two idiots," her index pointed Hermione and Ron, "you wouldn't be able to finger out what to do!" she might have drank a bit more tonight, feeling nervous about what Ron would say, "Stop bragging yourself and remember, if it weren't you it would still be Neville Longbottom." she gave him a smile.
"You sound like you hate me - "
"No one hates you, Harry - "
"No one loves you either - " Draco whispered.
"I feel pity for you, but I never hated you." everyone in the room left shocked. "I still consider you as a friend, but not a close friend, I care about you, but a put a line to where my care stops and my action begins."
"I can't believe I am hearing this - "
"Harry, there was a time I would fall over a cliff for you, but not anymore." and then silence between them, deafening silence, like those times Harry chose not to protect him, like those times Harry chose not to see beyond himself.
02:33
The knock on the door made him frown. Hermione once told him, nothing good happens after 2 am, so he wore his t-shirt walking - her eyes were a bit sleepy, but the smile on her lips was too familiar, and suddenly the late hour made perfect sense. In her hand there was an opened firewhiskey bottle, "I stole it from Draco." she teased and he smirked with the used line.
"He won't miss it." he allowed her to come in, "Why aren't you sleeping?"
She made a small tour of his room, smiling at his untidy characteristic. "Why didn't you say anything about what happened after the Ball?" she leaned on the closet.
"Did you want me to say something?"
"It would be nice to know you remember - "
"I remember." his voice had a reassuring tone, and she appreciated it.
"I am really glad you are happy."
"Oh! Is this the Pansy I know, are you polyjuiced Malfoy under that dark hair - " he extended his arm finding a lock of her hair, she only laughed. "Are you happy?"
"There is someone who loves me." she didn't look at him, "I love him too."
"Because it could never work out, isn't this your question?" he touched her hand bringing it close to his mouth and kissing it, "I never came to find you because it could never work out - "
"I know." she nodded a couple of times. "I didn't expect you to come." her eyes looked away from him, everything else was good to stare at except him, "I wanted you to come, but I knew you wouldn't." when she dared to look at him, he was looking at his feet. "It would be nice to answer some of my letters - "
"I wouldn't be able to have what I have now if I answered one of your letters - "
"Liar." he placed her hand around his neck, encouraging her to massage at a specific point where a chain started to appear, she met his eyes and she pulled it off seeing the charm she gave him. Her thumb caressed it, "If there was just one minute left, I would run to you - "
"I know."