It's time to continue the game... parody.
One note first. I do appologise for the long absence. I have been a bit burnt-out recently, so I haven't really been focused. I decided to get back to this after I accidentally clicked onto the thing that ususally brings me to the site. Anyway, let's get back to this.
The player walks in and sits down. "Damn EB and their incredibly horrible trade prices. Now I have to suffer through this... horrid game."
The player puts the game back in and we continue with the first level. Once again, Sonic goes all over the place.
"What were Sega thinking when they decided to have just the analog stick control Sonic? Was the D-pad not good enough?" The player asks.
Sonic runs into some multicoloured orbs with a questionmark in the middle.
"What the hell is this?" Sonic asks.
"HEY SONIC!" The annoying purple thing yells from behing, causing Sonic to fall to the ground.
"WHAT THE HELL? I... I LANDED ON GUM! Ew. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A LEVEL!" Sonic yells.
"I'm here to teach you the basics." The thing says.
"Uh, I've been doing this for nearly 20 years, I think I know the basics." Sonic says.
"Not in this game you don't."
"Sigh, fine... but make it quick."
"Ok... you get power from rings... C ya." The thing then flys away.
"... I am so killing that guy when I see him again." Sonic says.
Several minutes, one level, and a lot of annoying bits of "help"... but no murder of a flying annoyance later, we are now in a small oceanside town. Everything here is white.
"Aw, it's the light house, and the church... oh look, it's the KKK's headquaters." The player states.
Sonic and the missing pokemon enter, with Sonic juggling the chaos emeralds.
"What do you think that was about?" Sonic asks.
"You mean the hair and the arms and..." The annoyance asks back.
"No, I mean the last episode of Lost, what the hell was that about? It confused the hell out of me." Sonic replies.
"I had to check the TV guide seven times to make sure I was still watching Lost, and not The Twilight Zone... the creators must have been higher than the guys who made Silver." The annoyance states.
"HEY!" Silver yells from the background.
"Right... so this is what you usually look like?" The annoyance asks.
"Yep, this is the real me." Sonic says. "Pretty cool, huh?"
Sonic looks up to see the annoyance missing.
"Not even annoyances want to hear you talk about yourself." The player says.
Sonic just ignores the player and looks for the annoyance, who is at an ice-cream cart.
"Ooooooh!" The annoyance goes.
The player starts to get a bit disturbed.
"Looks good, don't it?" The maker of the ice-cream asks. "That there Chocolate Chipped Cream Sunday Supreme is the pride of the city... besides the south part of the city for obvious reasons."
"Zing." The player says.
"The whole world can come crumbing down but they would still line up for a taste." He says.
"Wasn't that Paris Hilton's slogan when she was actually hot?" The player asks.
The annoyance continues to admire the treat, while Sonic gets impatient.
"HEY!" Sonic yells. "WHAT ABOUT YOUR MEMORIES?"
"Only two more years until we can get a possibly decent game... and even that would suck." The player says.
"Oh... Chocolate... Chip... Sunday... SUPREEEEEEME!" The annoyance yells.
The player gets a bit more disturbed. "This isn't good."
"Haha, you said it. Enjoy it kiddo. Satisfaction guaranteed." The owner says.
"Thank god I only like Stratusfaction." The player says.
"If you don't love it, you get your money back." The owner says.
"Oh, I LOOOOOOOVE IT!" The annoyance drools.
The player gets majorly disturbed. "Next part, NEXT PART!"
And sure enough, we cut to Sonic and the annoyance walking down, eating the ice-creams.
"Mm, hmm." The annoyance goes. "This chip-whatever is great. What is this made out of?"
"Logical answer, cow fat and lard. Possible answer... It better not be what I'm thinking." Sonic says.
"Who cares what it's made of? It's still delicious." The annoyance says.
"If you say so." Sonic replies. "How about giving me a hand in helping me find someone who knows you, Chip?"
"Chip?" The annoyance asks.
"Yeah. I gotta call you something... plus the writer can't keep calling you 'The annoyance' forever." Sonic replies.
"Good point." Chip says.
"So how about we look around for someone who knows you?"
"Okay."
They then start walking around the town. They walk up to a near by old lady.
"Excuse me." Sonic asks.
"Why hello there mister mole." The woman says.
"Um... I'm a hedgehog." Sonic states.
"Oh... I suppose you are."
"Right... do you know this thing?" Sonic points to Chip.
The woman takes a close look at Chip. She looks all around him, then licks him.
"Why do old people always do that to me?" Chip asks.
The woman walks back. "I don't believe so. I never tasted him before. And I've tasted everyone here."
"Ew." Sonic and Chip simotaniously say.
Sonic and Chip walk away very quickly and approach an old couple.
"Retirement City: Where old people can sit by the beach, eat icecream, and be plagued by a supernatural evil that can only be beaten by a blue talking hedgehog walking on two legs." The player says.
"Hey, do you know that guy?" Sonic asks, once again pointing to Chip.
"Mmph mmph mmph." The woman says.
"What?" Sonic asks.
"Sorry, she lost here teeth in the earthquake... along with my golfclubs." The old man said.
"Well have you seen this guy then?"
"Nope, never."
"Ok... good luck with the teeth."
"The teeth? Who cares about her teeth? Those golfclubs cost me a thousand bucks."
"Okay..."
Sonic and Chip walk away again.
"So good so far." Chips says.
"Shut up." Sonic replies.
They continue talking to people, but no success. But at one point, a boy gives them a place to go.
"Go to the light house." The boy says.
"Why?" Sonic asks.
"Listen, Sega only payed me to tell you to go there, don't make me call a hit on you, my dad's a godfather." The boy replies.
"Going, going." Sonic walks away very fast.
Sonic and Chip walk towards the lighthouse. We go to the load screen.
"Crap, a load screen... well I'm going to the beach." The player says. He gets up and walks outside.
~9 hours later~
The player walks back inside and sits down.
"What a great day... what was I doing earlier?" He asks. He looks at the screen, with the game still loading. "Oh."
After another half hour, the game finally continues. Sonic and Chip are at the lighthouse now.
"This is it? Just a few rings, some glowing thing, and a bunch of blocked off areas?" Sonic asks.
"I guess the other areas are closed for renevations." Chip answers.
"Wait... renevations... in one of my games?" Sonic asks. "It's finally happened. Eggman destroyed the world and now we're in heaven... Wait... it's probably just limbo since you're here."
"HEY!" Chip yells.
"Oh shut up. You know it's true."
"Can you just do something already?"
"Fine."
Sonic grabs the rings in the area, then walks up to the glowing area.
"So what does this do?" Sonic asks.
"I think it starts the level." Chip answers.
"Well we're wasting time with this discussion, so let's just do it already."
Sonic walks into the light and the level begins. One frustrating second level later, the player turns the game off and goes to do something productive with his life.
Crappy second half, huh? Well I left the end of it lingering for abour 3 months, so it can't really be helped. Don't worry, next chapter will be funnier, I promise you guys that much. And if you guys have any suggestions to help me improve the fic, please feel free to post them.