"People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'you're safe with me'- that's intimacy."
-Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
-Chapter 4: Cruel Summer-
My red heels started impatiently tapping on the elevator's tile floors. "I can't believe you choose Vegas. We could have spent a relaxing week in Hamptons. Maybe a trip to Vancouver? Gosh, even camping would be a better idea."
"Camping? Really B?" Serena sent me a questioning look.
"I am having trouble even imagining you pitching a tent or starting a fire. Much less being in a place with no cell reception." Nate added. He was all smiles. Just like always.
"Okay that may be an exaggeration, but you get my point. With the world and jet at your disposal, I am sure there were much more ideal destinations to spend the weekend instead of sin city."
"I have to agree with Blair. Is this really the ideal setting for the weekend? Vegas screams 21st Birthday, Bachelor party, and drunk weddings." Serena asked.
"Excuse me for wanting us to have a little fun." Chuck defended.
"Yes, because nothing quite says fun like strippers and the stench of cigarettes, right?" I muttered under my breath.
"Well, I think that depends on whom you ask. Those two things you mention scream fun to me." His eyes were glued to his phone. Just like they had been since we meetup, on the plane, in the lobby, so much for bonding. His fingers continued typing away.
Ding. Ding.
"This is our floor. Party people, I recommend we leave the tension in the elevator and focus on the main goal this weekend, having fun just like old times." Nate exclaimed.
-XOXO-
Upon entering the massive Empathy Suite, Chuck began to explain the amenities.
I was in awe. Definitely an upgrade from the tacky lobby. Still not the Hamptons, but not the worse place in the world. Serena was right better than camping. Not that I would vocalize my opinions.
The sound of my name being mentioned made me look at Chuck. "Huh?" I asked. Not really paying attention to what was previously said.
After he let out a frustrated sigh Chuck spoke again, "I said dear Nathaniel's room is upstairs. Serena's bedroom is just to the left. While the room you and I will share is behind those doors."
"We are not sharing a room!" I said quickly.
"Come Blair I am sure you and Chuck have slept together before. Just please keep the noise to a minimum. These walls are not soundproof, and I forgot my noise-canceling headphones." Serena teased.
My look of mortification and lack of words.
"So you haven't- I assumed. Since you know Chuck. Well, I mean not that-" Seriously Serena was only making this whole ordeal worse.
"Stop talking!" I ordered.
"No need to act like a saint in front of our friends, sweetie." He gave me a kiss on my cheek. Cute gesture sure. But it was a warning. Remember we are in a fake relationship. Play along. Blah. Blah. Blah.
"Chuck-"
"We both know how devious you can be. Should I give them a play-by-play of last Saturday's bedroom activities?" He teased.
Like a true demon, his whole demeanor had shifted. Now teasing and playful. While this whole ride over here, except for the elevator he barely spoke. He was more focused on his phone.
"Sure, sweetie if you let me tell them all about what happened-" I was about to explain.
"Blair." He warned.
"I guess the two of you are out of the honeymoon phase." Attempting to put an end once again to this tension and bickering Nate spoke, "Let's get settled and we will meet in an hour and grab some food."
-XOXO-
I scowled at the single king-size bed in front of my eyes.
"There is only one bed." I said. Chuck gave me a questioning look. Seeing as he failed to grasp the issue with our current situation, I decided to explain. "We cannot share a bed." I promulgated.
"Come on it's not like we never shared a bed before. If my memory serves me correctly, we shared more than a bed that summer." Chuck whispered behind me.
"That was different and you know it." I argued.
"Not really. Should we take a trip back to memory lane and compare the situation."
"Thank you, but I would prefer to forget everything about that summer. Everything that happened was in the past. So do me a favor, erase those memories from your brain, and stop bringing them up. Please and thank you."
"Are you sure?" He asked. Gently he moved my hair over my shoulder. His lips found their way to the nape of my neck. Switching between light kisses and tinny nibbles. A was biting my own lip attempting to suppress a moan that treated to escape.
I closed my eyes. Trying to focus on the issue at hand. Not the way he seemed to possess the ability to be able to send chills down my body. Something about his proximity made my heart race. Focus Blair. Keep your hormones in Chuck. I mean cheek. You like Nate remember.
Turning around I was met with a distinct expression. The same one I saw that summer. My brain began to replay memories of that night.
-XOXO-
-The Start of Summer-
There are a few things I regret in life. The first part of that summer night was one of them. It was the first day of Summer. A few of us decided to go out and celebrate. Before everyone went off to their summer plans.
I had been determined to make the most of that night. Especially after overhearing the rumors of Nate losing it to some trashy blonde in the Hamptons when they were both intoxicated. I knew he wouldn't remain celibate all of his life. He had his fair share of flings and girlfriends. Yet none of them were serious. They were just extras in our love story.
A part of me always envisaged a day when he would realize I was the one. The girls of his dreams. He would say that he loved me and couldn't fathom being with anyone else. We would kiss and then went the moment was perfect under the star-filled sky we would become one. Yet the dream seemed to have shattered.
Needless to say, with this new information, I snapped. It wasn't one of my finer moments.
So, I spent most of the night sitting next to him. Laughing at his jokes. Fluttering my eyelashes. He drank. I drank. Waiting for the perfect moment to make my feelings and intentions clear. Less intimate than I would have preferred, but it would have to do.
Just as we were walking out of the bar, with enough liquid courage, I made my move.
I pretended I was drunk. When we were getting ready to go home, I made a move. I tried kissing him. And getting him to swipe my V-card. I won't forget his words. 'Blair, I can't. This isn't you. Look, you just drank too much. You will thank me in the morning.' Nothing I could say would change his mind.
To add to my humiliation Nate asked Chuck to drop me off at home. Chuck, the man who sleeps with anything that has legs. Nate didn't feel there was any need to protect me from the big bad Chuck since there was nothing to protect. He wasn't in love with me and never would be. I was clearly delusional.
Chuck wouldn't dare try anything, because he and Nate share the same vision of me. Just a friend.
In the limo, Chuck was looking out the window. The ride was quiet until I spoke. "Do you find me attractive?" I whispered in a small voice. Both hands covered my face.
"Of course. One of the biggest mysteries is what you are wearing under those tweed outfits." Chuck teased.
Lifting my head, I saw him staring out the window. "Okay." I said in a low voice.
"Okay?" My answer caused him to stare back at me. His eyebrows rose in a questioning manner.
I started leaning closer to him.
"What are you doing Waldorf?" "Nate said you were drunk."
"I am sure it is not the first time you have been with somebody who has a little too much to drink." "Am I really that undesirable?"
"Your drunk."
"Look at me Bass. Really look at me. Do I look intoxicated? It was all a pathetic ruse. I just wanted Nate to look at me the same way he looked at the blonde." I practically screamed.
"I'm not following." He responded.
Of course, he didn't understand. He never would. Chuck wouldn't understand true love if it hit him in the face. No matter what happened I always thought Nate was the one.
"I was stupid. I know he slept with some blonde tramp in the Hamptons."
"So you found out." That's all he said. Of course, I found out. They weren't exactly hiding this information. The only thing I haven't found out is who that blonde hair belonged to.
"I thought that since he. Instead, I got rejected and shoved into a car with his best friend."
"Blair I am not going to sleep with you tonight. No matter how much you beg or how many tantrums you throw."
"Great. Well, I suffered enough humiliation for one night so if you will excuse me. I grabbed my purse and got out of the limo as quickly as possible.
"Blair wait!" Chuck screamed trailing close behind. Turning back around to face him, his phone began to ring. I was prepared to make a run up to my penthouse, till his hand grabbed my wrist. He proceeds to pick up his ringing cell phone. "Hey, Nate I can't make it tonight. Something came up unexpectedly. I'll make it up to you some other time, promise." He then hung up.
"Wow! Chuck refusing a night out. A miracle ladies and gentlemen. Now let my wrist go before I charge you for assault."
He took a deep breath. "I might regret this." He let my wrist go and proceed to talk. "I have to leave tomorrow for Europe. Why don't you come with me? It will give you a chance to get away and forget about Nate. Move on. End this new obsession with me deflowering you."
"You are really making me regret opening up to you." A small laugh escaped from both of our lips. "But I will think about it." I replied.
"Okay. Bye." He uttered. Giving me a quick kiss on my cheek before walking back to the limo.
Closing my eyes and swallowing my pride once again I asked, "What time does the flight leave?"
"9 sharp. I will even request the stewardess make those cookies you like seem to like so much. " He called back.
I remember going back and forth all night. Weighing my options. Needless to say, I eventually got on the plane. I didn't sleep with Chuck that night. Though I did eventually. Then that look on his face in the limo reappeared.
-XOXO-
"Blair? Is everything okay?" Chuck asked. His eyes continued to stare deep into mine.
"Um- Ugh-" Struggling to find words from the English language, instead of sounds I said the first thing that popped into my head, "I am famished. We should see if Nate and Serena want to grab a bite to eat."
"Blair, hold on a second. What's wrong? You seemed lost in thought." Chuck pleaded. He grabbed both of my hands. His amber eyes, trying to convey a special message.
A gave him a small smile. Not knowing what exactly what do. My brain was spinning. I to get out of this room and try to put some distance between the two of us. Space is good. Space is what I need. Space is what we need. The Nevada heat must be the reason for this whole thing.
"Look Blair-" He tried to say.
I pulled my hands from his grasp. "We are good. I am good. Just hungry. Don't worry I will be the perfect girlfriend." Attempting to reassure him and leave. "Serena!" I called out. Leaving the room and Chuck behind.
What was all that? Maybe all the marijuana fumes are messing with my brain chemistry. That is probably it. Right? You like Nate. You always have. You always will. I mean he is incapable of love. Right?
"Serena!" I screamed once again.
-XOXO-
-Flashback Extra Scene-
"You came."
"You invited."
His eyebrow rose in a questioning manner. "Ladies first." He held his hand out motioning me to step up the stairs of the Bass private jet.
Just as I was about to enter the plane, my heels turned.
"We aren't going to have sex on Blair." He said.
"No, that's- I swear is that all that is on your mind." It was just a thought last night. A moment of weakness if you will. I was hurt and had too much champagne running through my veins. "I just wanted to give you a warning. Don't confuse lust and fascination for love. Basically what I am trying to tell you is please don't fall for me."
A moment of silence passed before he broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. I failed to find any humor in my message. Once his laughter subsided, he spoke, "Blair you really have to stop using those romance novels as reference pieces. They are beginning to warp your way of thinking. If my intentions I don't do love. Not with you or anyone."
"Haha. Laugh all you want. I am just saying I have hand plenty of men fall for me without having to lift a pinky."
"Except for Nate." He interjected.
"Low blow. Fine just don't say I didn't warn you." I commented.
"Sorry. I will make sure to remember that. Now shall we go? I would like to arrive in England before the New Year."
I rose my hands in defense and walked into the plane.
"Je ne regrette rien." I whispered to myself.
Author's Mini-Note:
Hi. Hello? I'm back! (I hate how the phrase reminds me of horror movie sequels.) Anyway, this update was way overdue. Just got caught up with life and work. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Now we get a bit of the backstory about what happened that summer. Still not the whole picture, but part of it. Also, we are finally getting to the good stuff. I will try updating the next chapter soon. Thank you to everyone who didn't give up reading and following this story.
Here are some questions to ponder in the meantime: Is the blonde just some mystery or have we already met her? How will this Vegas trip go for our favorite quartet? Will this trip be considered successful? Also, why did Chuck choose Vegas for a trip? mhm...
Till the next chapter…
THX U