My mouth fell open but I quickly composed myself as I turned to Stefan. He looked apologetically at me.
"Are you okay?" He asked trying to keep his voice down. All of our guest began to join the party and Jeremy glared at me and then at Damon.
"I'm fine." I lied. "I'll be right back." I tried to sound completely un bothered. I took off upstairs and ran into Stefan's bedroom. Before I even had the door closed I began sobbing. I tried to stay as quiet as I could knowing the ears that could hear me from here were probably listening. Suddenly the sadness was cut completely off and it was replaced by anger. I wiped the tears away looking at myself in the mirror. I wasn't mad at Damon. How did I have a right to be. This is what Damon did all the time. What did I expect to change from one day to the other? The reality was that Damon wasn't mine and why I expected him to still be the soft man I experienced last night I don't know. Damon was Damon. I had to except that. I was however angry at myself. So horribly enraged at myself for reacting this way. I had a beautiful and kind man downstairs that loved every fiber of my being and all I'm doing is consistently ripping him apart. I was angry at myself for acting like such a bitch. Acting like....Katherine. If this is how it was then this is how it would be. I rechecked myself in the mirror and flipped my hair over my shoulder and made my way back downstairs. When I reached the bottom the party was in full swing. Everyone was laughing, playing, drinking. Having a good time. Stefan stood towards the end of the living room talking to Matt and Caroline. As soon as I made it halfway down the stairs he met my gaze and half smiled out of relief but was still clearly worried. I in return flashed the biggest smile I could force my mouth to make. I involuntarily flashed my glance towards Damon. He was flirting with the same girl in the opposite corner of the room. He had apparently dumped the concept of a glass and was drinking straight out of the bottle. He had a higher tolerance then humans but he looked as if he was bound and determined to exceed his limit tonight. He wrapped an arm around the girls waist and continued to mumble into her ear and again she burst into an obnoxious laughter. I looked away and ignored the sting and headed straight to Stefan.
"Hey you okay-" He was cut off because I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him as passionately as I ever have. He pulled away.
"What are you doing?" He asked confused.
"What does it look like." I answered breathlessly. He smiled and leaned in kissing me again. After a minute Caroline laughed probably out of discomfort. I let go of Stefan and laughed. I turned and walked across the room standing not three feet away from Damon. The table was filled with several bottles of un opened liquor. Damon had the open one in his hand turned upside down at the moment. I took one of the new bottles cracked it open and poured it into a glass. I looked over right as Damon looked up and caught my eye. He noticed what I was doing and left the blond in mid sentence and half stumbled in my direction. I pretended not to see him approaching and he leaned up against the table.
"Can I see some I.D?" He mused. I looked over as a wild smile spread across his face. I noticed he had dark circles under his eyes, but they still shined aqua marine.
"Your hilarious." I replied dryly and gulped down a few swallows of whiskey. It burned horribly and my eyes watered. When I looked back at him I caught a glimpse of seriousness on his face but it quickly twisted back into a smirk.
"Who's the girl?" I asked even though I wished I hadn't.
"Who, her?" He asked hooking his thumb over his shoulder. "Her name is Veronica." He said her name suggestively, over pronouncing the syllables. Smiling wildly. I picked the glass up and again poured it down my throat welcoming the burn.
"Hey take it easy." He said pulling the glass out of my hand and setting it on the table.
"What does it matter? You know I'll be spending the night here." I said.
He seemed to slightly cringe at the comment but quickly regained his careless smug.
"Well-" He put the glass back in my hand and bumped the bottle he was holding on my glass. "Cheers to that." He winked and walked back to Veronica, and as if perfectly orchestrated slid his hand behind her neck and kissed her deeply. The stubborn lump in my throat returned but I was determined to ignore it. I was suddenly feeling the warm buzz of the alcohol in my blood and it felt nice. I made my way back to Stefan. He eyed the drink in my hand and smiled.
"I can't say I blame you." He spoke softly in my ear. I laughed. He made his way over to the table and came back with a glass of his own. Meanwhile I listened as Caroline informed me on the romantic weekend her and Matt had. Matt stirred uncomfortably during the story but managed to smile so very sincerely every time she looked up at him. I noticed around me the party was pretty big. It was the biggest party I had ever actually seen. The base of the music pulsed deeply through the house and people filled up every inch of the huge space that was the Salvatore house. I was on my third glass of scotch when I had to work on my coordination. Of course Stefan was doing just fine even though he had out drank me already. He had begun a heavy game of pool with Matt and each team had grown in size as each game began. I stood to the side watching each turn but glancing frequently into the living room where Damon threw back drink after drink. Veronica never left his side but even as he spoke to other people her mesmerized gaze never faltered.
A sudden burst of cheering broke out around the table as Stefan made a winning shot. My attention snapped back to where it belonged and I clapped. Stefan bounced over smiling and kissed me on the forehead. After a few minutes they began into a new game. I poured down another glass of scotch. I looked back over to the living room. To Damon. He was the center of attention as usual. He was walking around the crowd telling stories, spewing his comical, charming one liners one by one. His sarcasm was felt all the way to the pool table. But Veronica stayed right with him.
"So Elena, what's on your mind?" Caroline's voice in my ear interrupted my thought's.
"What do you mean?" I asked stupidly taking a large gulp of my drink.
She cocked her head to the side in a large gesture of Yeah, please don't play dumb with me, look. "I mean the fact that you've been staring down Damon Salvatore all night." She answered. I cringed as I saw Stefan cringe when he heard what Caroline had almost whispered.
"Ummm, can we go outside and speak?" I asked. She nodded with a face full of I knew it.
I led her out to a large balcony in the back of the house. I knew with the noise level inside, including the music and the people that out here Stefan may not be able to hear.
Caroline took a huge sip from her drink. "Okay, so tell me what's going on." She borderline demanded.
"There's nothing going on." I answered and tried to laugh a little to make it believable. I failed.
"Psh, yeah." She scoffed. "Whether you had been staring at him all night or not I still know something is going on." She laughed.
"How's that?" I asked.
"Cause of the way he's been staring at you." She cracked up and began laughing. She had obviously been drinking. However I was having trouble standing so I had no room to talk.
"He's been looking at me?" I asked.
"Okay and now the fact that you asked about that, now I know for sure." She continued to laugh.
"It's not a huge deal Caroline, we just had sort of a run in with each other and it's a little weird between us right now." I tried to make it very simple.
"Damon is so hot." She giggled. "But so is Stefan." She said as her laughter quieted. "Honestly I guess I was just surprised. I thought you and Stefan would be getting married and having babies by graduation." She smiled sweetly. I smiled in return even though my heart had just completely ripped apart at her comment.
"Well I guess I'll get back in and watch their game." She smiled again and made her way inside.
I waited a few minutes and then went back into the house and to the back door downstairs. I walked out to the edge of the woods behind the house. I sat down by a huge oak and began to cry. I cried because when Caroline made that comment several things hit me at once. What would happen with Stefan and I. I was growing older by the minute while Stefan stayed the same. What children would we have? What children COULD we have? I was suddenly so insecure about the future, not only with my vampire boyfriend but his brother who currently had my heart thoroughly intrigued. What was I going to do?
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the faint familiar sound of Damon's voice not far from where I was. I stood up and peeked around the tree I was at. I saw him several feet away with Veronica.
"You had a great time at the party. But I just wasn't for you and your okay with that. Your ready to go home and get some sleep." He mumbled deeply.
"I think I'm going to go home and get some sleep." Veronica repeated. I was suddenly struck with the realization that he was compelling her. I watched as she slowly turned around and headed off in the opposite direction. He stood with his hands in his pockets watching her leave. I wiped my eyes of tears and stepped clumsily from behind the tree. I was so intoxicated at this point a was seeing double vision.
"Why did you do that?" I asked. He flashed over to me.
"Why are you following me?" He asked seeming to be slightly annoyed.
"I'm not following you, trust me. I just came out here to be alone and here you are, just pulling cheap tricks on peoples minds." I replied.
"She wasn't my type." He answered sarcastically.
"Really cause I thought you were hitting it off pretty well. I thought for sure she would be joining you for bedtime." I hissed. I couldn't believe I was saying these things but the alcohol was running strong.
"I'm not in the mood. I have a headache." He answered again with even more sarcasm. He flashed a smile that made me weak at the knees.
"Well, don't cancel any of your plans on my account." I slurred.
"I didn't send her off to spare your feelings Elena." He said, his eyes became sharp and severe but he was standing within inches of me.
"Good, cause I wasn't either. I was planning on having a pretty eventful night." I stuttered over my words as the alcohol took full effect very rapidly. I figured it was because my heart was beating so fast.
"That's enough." His face fell suddenly when he realized what I was suggesting.
I realized I was trying to hurt him, and the drunkenness had taken me over."What? I was just planning on making love to Stefan. We do that all the time, you should know I'm sure. You have pretty sharp hearing. Maybe you'll hear it tonight." I said.
"Stop it! Stop!!" Damon suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders and gritted his teeth as he ordered my silence. When I finally focused on him I realized his face was suddenly growing dark. His eyes widened and the black shadows became full force. I gasped and pressed myself against a tree behind me. I knew this face as when a vampire was ready to kill or his emotions were out of control.
"Elena, you drive me crazy." He said as he looked down trying to gain his composure. I looked at his face through the double vision. His eyes were soft and gentle. His eyes I couldn't stop thinking about. I watched him for a second study my face in the moonlight that lit up his. Then suddenly I felt sick. I lurched forward falling to my knees and got sick. Damon was at my side in a heart beat. His held my hair back.
"I told you not to drink like that." He mumbled. I looked up at him.
"I just wanted to forget that my life is such a mess." I choked out.
He sat all the way down on the ground and leaned me back in his arms like he was practically holding a new born.
"Why is your life such a mess?" He asked looking intently into my eyes.
"I think I need to be a vampire." I whispered. I felt his arms tense around me, but suddenly my eyes closed without warning and the alcohol took it's effect. I fell into a half sleep as I felt him pick me up and carry me into the house. He made his way upstairs and into a room. He laid me down on the bed.
"Where was she?" I heard Stefan ask.
"She was out in the woods. She drank too much." Damon replied.
"You didn't help Damon, that's for sure." Stefan replied coldly. I realized they both thought I was dead asleep. I was close but I was still conscious enough to hear them.
"Look. I've tried everything Stefan. I went for it, that pissed you off. I let her go and even carried on with my life. That seemed to have pissed you off as well. Damned if I do, damned if I don't do I do brother? You love her. She's with you. I love her. I want her. I'm a fucking mess Stefan. What do you want from me?"
I heard nothing but silence until the bedroom door closed. I felt Stefan fall into the bed beside me. Finally I drifted into a dreamless sleep.
**I would like to thank you all for the amazing reviews I've gotten so far. I seriously write b/c I love to entertain you guys! I like to explore every option in these stories. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave a review for the chapter. I would really love to know what you think. Good, bad, ugly, or even suggestions if you have a strong wish as to where this should go. Just please leave a review.***