Hope you all didn't think I'd forgot about this! I've been hard at work editing chapters for both this and Irish Eyes. I've got one picture posted at my blog site (clickie on the profile to find it). We've only got 1 more chapter and an epilogue to go!
"Remus, why are we canceling this time?" It would make the third appointment that Ginny had had to reschedule with the orphanage.
Remus hesitated while he quickly thought of a plausible excuse.
"Because Bill and I are in the final stages of finishing the new egg freezing spell for the ashwinders that have been infesting Diagon Alley and we can't afford a delay even for an afternoon," he explained.
Ginny sighed. He'd been working with her brother off and on for the past couple of months. "The initial appointment will only take an hour or so," she pointed out.
Remus shook his head. "Time is of the essence. We've got to finish this before all of Diagon Alley is burnt to the ground."
"Can't they use some kind of protective charm in the meantime?"
"They haven't found one that the little buggers can't burn through, I'm afraid," he answered. "Reschedule for next month. I promise that we'll be finished by then."
Ginny was tired of the delays, but she tried to understand. "All right," she relented.
Remus kissed her cheek and then left to begin his trek out to Hagrid's hut to get ready for his classes. He felt awful about lying to her, but he was having second thoughts about adopting. He couldn't help it. The image of her son lying motionless in the grass hadn't lessened in severity in his mind.
Yes, William had fully recovered with no lingering effects, but that wasn't the point. Because of his own inept ability to adequately take care of the child, Remus was terrified that the next time would be very serious. He planned on there never being a next time and certainly not with two children. He wasn't sure how he was going to convince Ginny that her son would be enough for them, but he would. He had to.
"The lady at the orphanage was wonderful," Hermione told Ginny as they sat on the couch and sipped tea after dinner. She and Severus had gone earlier in the day to begin their adoption. "We spoke with her for over an hour and we're going back Saturday to observe the children."
Ginny smiled at her friend. "I'm very happy for you," she responded. "A girl or boy?" At least Severus isn't wishy washy or too busy with his potions to go, she thought disdainfully.
"We're undecided, but I think we're leaning towards a boy."
"Severus would like that, I'm sure."
"Well, I think Sabine will be demanding enough in the daughter department." Hermione shook her head. The baby already showed signs of precociousness and she usually exhibited a matching obstinance. "Maybe two brothers will be enough to keep up with her." The girls laughed. "Weren't you and Remus supposed to be going to the orphanage as well?"
Ginny sighed and glanced down at the mug in her hand. "We've had to reschedule for one reason or another," she answered wearily. "We'll try again next month, I guess."
"Ask for Elizabeth," Hermione suggested as she stood up to go check on Sabine when she heard her faint cries.
While Ginny waited for Hermione to return, Severus entered the sitting room from his personal lab.
"Good evening, Ginny," he greeted politely, heading towards his desk in the corner of the room.
"Hi Severus," she replied. "Hermione was just telling me about Elizabeth at the orphanage."
"An extremely pleasant woman," he complimented without looking at Ginny. "We're returning Saturday."
"You'll be watching the little boys, I bet."
Severus continued to shuffle through papers until he found what he was looking for. "I'm confident that the right child for Hermione and me will present him or herself." He was far more concerned about intelligence than gender.
Ginny had been meaning to talk to him about Remus and she figured that now was as good a time as any, though she had a feeling she knew what Severus would say in response to her inquiry.
"May I ask you a question?"
"You may."
"How do you feel when Malachai accidentally gets hurt?"
Severus' eyebrows furrowed. "Pardon?"
"I mean, say that you're playing outside with him and he accidentally falls or something," Ginny clarified. "What is your reaction to that?"
Severus walked over to the couch to address her properly. "I'm concerned, obviously," he answered. "I check to see if there are any injuries and their severity. If there are injuries, I then determine if I will treat them with a potion, a spell or a trip to see Madame Pomfrey." His voice held a hint of confusion as to why she was asking such a question.
"But does it make you feel guilty, as if it had somehow been your fault?" Ginny asked, not surprised at his logical answer to her first question. "That you should have been able to prevent it?"
Lupin, Severus thought in antipathy, inwardly rolling his eyes. "I do not feel guilty," he answered. "I take every precaution possible to keep my children safe, but they are children. They get hurt. That's just part of growing up and learning."
Ginny nodded slowly and sighed. "That's what I thought you'd say." It seemed that everyone understood that concept except Remus.
Severus had told himself that he would stay out of situations that involved the wolf, but that had been near impossible the past number of months. Most recently, William's fall had been the main topic of conversation. Hermione had suggested to Severus that maybe he should have a talk with Remus, but he'd refused, of course.
"Do you wish me to speak with Lupin?" Severus heard himself ask, hoping the contempt that he harbored was not obvious in his voice.
Ginny blushed. So, he knew why she'd asked. "I'm not sure if it would help," she answered honestly. "His fears are so deeply rooted." She wondered if Severus knew about Livia, but since she didn't know for sure, Ginny didn't mention her.
"Nonetheless, the offer stands. Excuse me while I check on the children."
When he reached the doorway of Sabine's room, Hermione was standing there with a knowing smirk.
"That was a very nice offer," she complimented. "Thank you."
Severus' black orbs pierced her chestnut ones. "Why don't you show me your appreciation?" he whispered, his eyes glittering deviously. "Be in bed unclothed when I return from the lab in fifteen minutes."
Even after almost seven years, Severus Snape and his silky voice could still make Hermione weak in the knees.
"Yes, Husband," she replied and eagerly set about making up an excuse to Ginny as to why their evening would need to be cut short. The hungry look that Severus had given her promised playful naughtiness and Hermione wasn't about to miss that.
The end of November brought Bill's birthday party at the Burrow. The entire family was there, with the exception of Charlie and Percy, of course. The twins' fiancés, Tilly and Tiara, were excited about their upcoming Christmas Eve weddings (they were suppose to have been married in the summer, but had decided that the holidays were much more romantic) and they spent much of the party discussing arrangements with Ginny, Molly, Fleur and Tess while the men caught up on all things business. William and Malachai were enjoying numerous rounds of Exploding Snap while Eliza and Elizabeth played with their dolls. Fleur and Bill took turns chasing after Richard, who had recently started walking on his own, while Emma was content to sit in anyone's lap who wanted to hold her.
Even though Malachai kept William occupied, Remus' lack of involvement with the child was not lost on the Weasley matriarch.
When Ginny headed to the kitchen for tea, Molly followed with Emma balanced on her hip. "Is Remus all right?"
"He's fine," Ginny answered automatically.
Molly frowned. "He just seems a bit…distant," she noticed. "Especially towards the children."
"He and Hagrid have been working on a bowtruckle breeding project," Ginny explained, hoping that she didn't sound as frustrated as she felt. "He's been getting up at all times of the morning. I think he's just worn out." She'd noticed that Remus had grown distant from her son ever since the broom accident, but she really didn't want to discuss it. She was upset enough as it was.
"Hmm," Molly remarked, not sure that she fully believed the excuse. "Well, I hope that he gets some rest soon. I don't think William understands his avoidance. Children notice everything, you know."
Ginny simply nodded in response. William had noticed and he had asked her if Remus was mad at him. She found herself growing weary of making excuses for the man that had essentially agreed to be her son's surrogate father and was now trying to pretend that he didn't exist. There had been quite a few nights where she'd laid awake wondering if her love was enough to help her deal with his extreme insecurities. Every couple had their issues, yes, but nothing that she did or said seemed to have any long-term effect on him. More importantly, if Remus couldn't be there in the way that her son needed, then she would rather William do without, after all, he already had one absent father; he didn't need two.
When Remus, Ginny, William and Malachai returned to Hogwarts, they were met by a crying Sir Nicholas floating in Ginny's sitting room.
"Albus' torch burns no more," he announced, wiping ghost tears.
Ginny gasped and Remus dropped his head. They'd known that the end was near, but it didn't ease the shock or the sorrow that gripped them like a vice upon receiving the grim news.
"Where is he?" Remus asked, his voice cracking.
"His bedroom." Sir Nicholas sniffed a few times and then left to continue informing everyone of the headmaster's death.
"Mummy, what happened?" William asked, tugging on her robe.
Ginny glanced at Remus, but when he looked away, she knew that she would have to be the one to tell the children. Wiping tears, she took a deep breath and swallowed the sobs that were fighting to escape.
"Albus has died," she explained gently, though her voice trembled. "He won't be with us anymore except in a portrait like Daddy."
"Not ever?" Malachai asked, his bottom lip quivering.
Ginny shook her head. "No, Malachai, not ever." She thought that he'd never looked more like Hermione as she gazed into his big brown eyes that were topped with thick eyebrows, just like his mother's were.
William looked pensive as he tried to understand. "Is he with Daddy?"
Ginny choked back a sob and nodded. She was reminded of when she'd explained Neville's death to him and wished like hell that he didn't have to deal with these adult things at such a young age. She understood that death was part of life, but that didn't make it any easier to accept or explain.
"No more magic tricks then?" William asked sadly, glancing at Malachai.
"No, Baby," Ginny answered, wiping the salty wetness from her cheeks and reaching for their small hands. "But you two will always remember him, won't you? You were both very special to him."
The two boys nodded as tears filled their eyes, finally understanding that "Uncle Albus" (as they'd called him) was never coming back.
There was a knock on the door. Remus, who was still trying to process the fact that Albus was gone, waved a hand to open it and Hermione rushed in crying. She jogged over to Ginny and the two girls embraced as they mourned the headmaster's death. Severus walked in a few moments behind his wife. He was not visibly crying, but his eyes were red.
"Daddy," Malachai sobbed and ran to him. He was quickly scooped up in Severus' arms.
"Shh," he soothed, consoling his son and palming the head of curly black hair that was buried in his shoulder. "Father's here. Let's go see Poppy for a little while, all right? Then we'll have some warm milk before bed." Severus looked at Remus, who was visibly shaken, and then noticed that William was sitting on the floor covering his face and crying.
"The child needs your comfort," he hissed. "Are you so selfish that you're incapable of such?"
Remus snapped out of his emotional fog and glared at him through teary eyes before walking over to the little boy. "Come here, William," he coaxed, kneeling down to pick him up. He hadn't meant to ignore the child. He was just so overwhelmed.
"Poppy has offered to watch the children if you'd like to say goodbye properly," Severus announced and then walked out of their chamber.
The ladies, still sobbing, followed close behind.
Tears flowed down both of their faces as Remus hugged William tightly while carrying him to Poppy's quarters. Sometimes he really hated Severus.
When the two couples somberly entered Albus' eerily quiet chamber, Professor Binns was waiting at the door.
"This way," he instructed, floating slowly towards the secluded bedroom.
Fourteen foot ceilings greeted them while the vast expanse of walls was divided. The top half depicted paintings of scenes from Greek mythology while the bottom half was dramatically ornate with hand carved cherry wood overlays, pointed arches and what resembled spire pinnacles. A bed was nestled into the far corner that looked to be an extension of the wall, the frame hand carved in the same cherry wood with multiple spires crowning the canopy. The drapes, bed sheers and duvet was crushed velvet in such a dark blue hue that it almost looked black. The nightstand, armoire and chairs that were in the room were also hand carved and matched the Gothic style of design prevalent. To complete the room, a twenty-five point chandelier made of wrought iron hung from the center of the ceiling. The twelve inch taper candles that provided the room's warm glow were spelled to never drip wax. The bedroom was grand and elegant and everything that the headmaster's sleeping chamber should have been.
Minerva was sitting on the edge of the bed holding Albus' hand when they walked in. She turned to face them and offered a sad smile. When she looked back towards her husband, her head dropped and her shoulders shook. She couldn't suppress the next wave of her grief. The pain and emptiness was too great.
Severus was instantly at her side, wrapping a comforting arm around her trembling body as she leaned against him.
"Minerva, had he made arrangements?" His voice was liquid velvet in the baroque, but gloomy room.
She nodded and sniffled as she clutched a handful of tissues. "Yes," she cried. "The parchment on the nightstand explains his wishes."
"I'll take care of everything," Severus assured her with a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry."
"Minerva, we're so sorry," Hermione lamented.
The older woman nodded. "We all knew it was just a matter of time." She stood up and turned to face them. "Each of you take a moment and say goodbye. He would like that."
Everyone walked out with Minerva except Severus. He'd say his goodbyes first and then the others would have a turn.
Remus was last. He slowly approached the majestic bed and sat on the edge. There were so many more conversations for them to have, so many more topics for them to discuss. Now, only his portrait would talk and it just wouldn't be the same. Remus wasn't anywhere near ready to be without Albus.
Sobs racked his body as Remus gazed upon the peaceful face of the man that had been his teacher, his friend and his protector. He couldn't believe that he was gone. Remus had never felt so alone and the searing pain that burned from within was more excruciating than any of his transformations had been. He wanted to die.
"Albus," he wept, looking down at his hands resting in his lap. "I can't do this. My fear is too great to control." He shook his head as tears splashed onto the front of his clothes. "What am I going to do without you? I'm so scared." He leaned over onto the bed and rested his head beside of Albus' still warm body and bawled until his throat was raw. As long as Albus had been alive, Remus had always felt that there was at least one person that truly understood him and his internal struggles. Now he just felt empty.
Sometime later, Remus was startled by a hand on his shoulder. He sat up quickly and wiped his tearstained face. He wasn't expecting to see Severus standing beside of him.
"We should gather the children and bed for the night," he suggested, his usually stern voice soft and unguarded. "We'll have much to do tomorrow."
"We?"
"You'll assist me in funeral preparations, naturally."
Remus was momentarily stunned. Since when did Severus ever desire help? "Well…of course," he confirmed with a nod, standing from the bed. "I'll do whatever I can."
When Remus walked past him on his way out, Severus cleared his throat. "There is one more thing."
Remus turned around. "What?"
Severus took a couple slow steps towards him. "Minerva has informed me that the Board of Governors has voted me headmaster. I told her that I'd accept under one condition."
"And that is?"
"That you serve as deputy headmaster."
"That's Minerva's job."
"She will not be remaining at the castle and that position will need to be filled," Severus explained. "Will you accept or not?"
Remus was stunned again. They'd never been particularly friendly and he knew that his presence was tolerated only because his fiancé was the best friend of Severus' wife. He was also well aware of the fact that he was always referred to as "the wolf" by Severus when he was out of earshot. He'd known for years, but never found a reason to confront the acrimonious man about it. It wasn't a lie.
"Why me?"
"Isn't it enough that I'm asking you to fill the position?"
It was a compliment to be considered, as it was a highly esteemed position, but given their past, being asked simply wasn't enough.
"No, it's not," Remus answered honestly. "You've never considered me a friend, and barely a colleague over the years, even when we fought in the Order as allies. Why would you want to work with me on a daily basis now?"
Severus walked over to stand in front of him squarely. "You've been a student and a teacher here," he explained. "You're well qualified and – "
"No, I'm not," Remus argued, wondering what crazy notion had gotten into Severus' usually level head. He hated to have this conversation with Albus lying a few feet away, but his emotion was raw and there were too many years of built up frustration between him and his old classmate. "Do you think that the parents will honestly want a werewolf helping to run the school? They couldn't even handle me teaching once they learned what I was! Certainly you haven't forgotten about all of the owls and howlers that Albus received years ago because of me."
"No, I haven't forgotten. But you are a well-respected Order member and you helped defeat Voldemort. The parents could care less about your lycanthropy now. Everyone's priorities and attitudes have changed over the last few years, in case you haven't noticed."
"I doubt that they've changed that much."
Severus shook his head and narrowed his ebony eyes at Remus. "You just don't get it, do you, Lupin?" he seethed, unable to disguise his frustration any longer. "You have a woman who loves you, a little boy that adores you, are finally respected by the wizarding world and called a hero, yet you still cling to the same crutches from your school days. You seem to be the only one who gives a damn about your lycanthropy anymore, and if you don't grow up, you're going to lose everything. Is that what you want?" He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "And if you really need to know why I asked you to be deputy headmaster of this school, it's because of the very same sensitivities that you despise about yourself. I'm not an overly emotional man and the students should have someone to go to that they feel comfortable with. Out of the two of us, you are the more approachable one and I'm not oblivious to that fact. You've got a week to think about it and let me know."
As he left the room in a rush, Remus was dumbfounded. Severus Snape had just paid him a compliment. He sighed and looked over at Albus. Even through death, he knew what the previous headmaster would have said to him.
"All right, I'll think about it," Remus relented as he turned to leave with a heavy heart. He stopped at the door and gripped the knob, looking back towards Albus one last time.
"Goodbye, dear friend."
The next week passed in a fog of depression and tears as plans were carried out for Albus' funeral. Severus and Remus worked together to help Minerva fulfill her husband's last wishes while Hermione and Ginny assisted her with packing up his belongings to take back with her to their home. The owlery was emptied as the winged creatures were sent off with details of the funeral to the Daily Prophet, Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade Village and other wizarding establishments and communities while preparations continued at the castle.
Two days later, the floo network was all but shut down because of the hundreds trying to get to Hogwarts for the funeral. The shop owners in Hogsmeade had agreed to use their floos for funeral traffic only for the day, which helped immensely since Severus wasn't comfortable with opening the ones at the school. Hogwart's carriages pulled by thestrals were available to transport the attendants to the castle. Thirty minutes before the ceremony, the grounds around Hogwarts sounded like corn popping on a stove with many others arriving by apparition.
A stage had been transfigured and placed by the lake at almost the same location where Albus and Minerva's wedding had taken place. Hundreds were gathered in front of it, most already clutching tissues and handkerchiefs. Seated on the stage were Severus, Minerva, Harry and Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Kingsley was the first to approach the podium. Holding his wand to his throat, he cast a Sonorus as the large crowd quieted their conversations.
"Dear friends of Albus, today marks a sad, sad day in our history," he began, gazing out over the sea of saddened faces. "But we will not dwell on his death because he would not have wished for that. Instead, we will celebrate his glorious life. Albus Dumbledore was many things to many people, but the most important thing in his life, next to his cherished wife, Minerva, was providing this school so that magical students would have a safe place to learn. He devoted his life to creating an atmosphere of fairness, friendship and healthy competition. We will be forever grateful for the personal sacrifices that he made throughout the years. Those closest to Albus will share a few words and then everyone is invited to join us in Hogsmeade for a reception."
Minerva approached next, sporting red, puffy eyes and clutching a handful of tissues. She forced a small smile and placed her wand at her throat.
"Albus was, and still is, the single most influential person in my life," she said, her voice amplified, but shaky. "He always put his students first, even when that meant delaying his own personal wishes. While some of his ways were often questioned, his desire for peace remained steadfast." She stopped to wipe tears. "Albus was my teacher, my colleague, and my husband, but most of all he was my best friend. And I shall miss him horribly." She wiped her nose and took a deep breath. "I'd like to take this moment to announce that Severus Snape will be taking over as Headmaster and that Remus Lupin will fill my position as Deputy Headmaster since I am retiring and returning to my home in Scotland. Please wish them well when you see them. It was Albus' dream for the school to continue on and Severus and Remus are the best men for that job."
Harry approached and hugged Minerva before speaking. "I don't have to tell any of you what an impact Albus had in my life," he began, wand to his throat. "He protected me, guided me, and mentored me every day of my life in some form or another. Sometimes he was funny. Sometimes he was exasperating, but he was always caring. It's difficult for me to imagine Hogwarts without Albus roaming the corridors or pacing in his study, but because of him, it will go on. It will continue to be a safe haven of learning for magical children and I look forward to sending my own here one day."
Severus nodded at Harry as they passed before he reached the podium and faced the crowd, the pain in his eyes unmistakable. He dropped his head for just a moment to gather his thoughts and took a deep breath.
"I will never be able to fill Albus' shoes as headmaster," he spoke humbly, his wand amplifying his soft voice as he looked out across the crowd. "But I will make sure to continue his good works to the best of my ability. No one, except my beloved wife, has shown me as much kindness and acceptance. Albus believed in me when no one else would. His faith in me and in my abilities is what rescued me from a darkness more fatal than any Unforgivable. While I have not always been proud of my actions, I am proud to have been able to call Albus Dumbledore a treasured friend. He will be forever missed by me and my family."
Kingsley approached once more as Severus returned to his seat. "Before we depart for the celebration of Albus' life, let us all raise our wands for a formal wizarding farewell."
Everyone on the stage stood, along with all of the attendees, and pointed their wands straight up. Streaks of fire shot out from the tips and joined together to spell "Valere Iubere, Albus" high in the blue sky above, burning bright for all to see as the weeping crowd slowly dispersed for Hogsmeade.
Remus caught up with Severus in The Three Broomsticks and pulled him outside.
"Why did Minerva announce that I would be the deputy headmaster?" he asked accusingly.
Severus' face expression remained stoic. "Because you are."
"But I haven't given you my answer yet."
"Are you not accepting the position then?"
"I didn't say that."
"Albus is gone and Minerva will be returning to their home at the end of the week," Severus told him. "I can not run the school alone, Lupin. You have until tonight before I ask someone else." With a swish of his long, black cloak, he walked back inside.
Remus remained outside and was joined by Hermione a few minutes later.
"Sent you out to convince me, did he?"
"No, but he did tell me that you are still undecided," she answered. "Why?"
Remus sighed and met her curious gaze. "Parents couldn't handle me teaching at the school," he explained. "How do you think they'll feel if I'm helping run it?"
"That's not how it is now. People respect you for –"
"Fighting in the war, I know," he interrupted, rolling his eyes.
"You've been absolved. Why can't you accept that?"
"Acceptance hasn't been a part of my life."
"Especially not when you refuse it."
"I've never refused it."
"Look, Remus," she began, crossing her arms. "Whether you believe it or not, the wizarding world no longer shuns you. Albus cared for you. Severus respects you. Ginny loves you and William adores you. The only person that has a problem with you is you. And if you continue like this, you are going to be all that you'll have left." She narrowed her eyes. "I remember Professor Lupin to be caring and genuinely concerned for his students, both personally and scholastically. I remember how he made sure to teach us pertinent information and how he was always there to lend a sympathetic ear. I wish current and future students would get a chance to meet that man." Then she left.
Remus sat down on a nearby bench and hung his head.
An hour later, Remus approached Severus while he stood in a darkened corner of the pub chatting with Madame Rosmerta and Kingsley. Their conversation quieted when they noticed Remus.
"I formally accept the position of deputy headmaster."
Severus stared at him for a moment as if sizing up his sincerity before extending his right hand. Remus glanced at it and then met the black eyes that were focused intently on him. Severus had never offered to shake his hand before. Remus reached with his right hand to clasp Severus' and they shook confidently. Severus nodded in acknowledgement, but he said nothing.
Ginny, who'd been sitting beside of Hermione at the bar, breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, she thought. Maybe this is a sign that things will be changing for us.
"Valere Iubere" - roughly translated is bid farewell to, say goodbye to