Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, but one day i will... one day. Maybe. Possibly.
YAY! Next chapter! It's a miracle! Just MOAR randomness... i might even add a next chapter. Possibly, if i find the time. I always start something and in the first 5 minuets I'm like 'this is SO fun' then i sort of die inside when i leave my computer or a piece or artwork and i come back and I'm like 'Oh god, I'm bored already. I know! I'll write another story or draw another picture that i probably won't finish as well! YAY!", but i actually kinda like this story so i might write more chapters. Once again i warn you about spelling mistakes. And don't forget to eat your Veg.
And 'Readingmaniac' . Don't even think of reading this or i will be forced to put some sort of sex scene in the next chapter so you will not be able to read on. Remember. I know where you live!
England took his cake out of the oven, trying to blow out the flames but causing the fire to spread even further, setting fire to China 's apron.
"BLOODY HELL!"
"AAAAH! What in the name of shinatty-chan are you doing, aru!
"Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!" Korea yelled over China 's head, the rest of the class stopping what they were doing to watch. China followed Korea 's advice and dropped onto the floor, trying to put himself out. Korea looked around him for something to put China out with. He grabbed a tub of maple syrup out of Canada 's hands and poured it over him. England got China up off the floor.
"China-san, you're all sticky, here let me wipe the maple syrup of your breasts."
"Get of me you pervert!" China pushed Korea of him and attempted to rub the syrup of himself.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!" China yelled at the class " NEVER SEEN SOMEONE COVERED IN MAPLE SYRUP BEFORE~ ARU" Everyone went back to their own cooking.
"Errr... sorry?" England apologised.
"OH YOU WOULD SAY THAT WOULDN'T YOU! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"
"Yeah!" Korea sided with China .
"What's going on here?" Greece walked over the small group, well, more like wobbled seen as he was still stuck to the chair.
" England 's trying to kill me~ aru!" China yelled at Greece .
"NO I WASN'T!"
"Yeah! He SO was!" Korea said. Greece looked at all 3 of them and thought to himself.
"Umm... how do I handle this? Okay then. China , go clean off and go back to your cooking. England , go wait outside the room and you have detention this afternoon for misuse of equipment. Korea , you just, go do whatever you do and stop being so weird."
"I think that's expectable~ aru" China crossed his arms, realising that he actually couldn't pull them apart as the maple syrup had stuck them together. England sighed and walked for the door.
"Hey Japan! Germany ! Did you just see that?" Italy leaned over to Germany , pasta dropping out of his mouth.
"You mean England setting fire to China ?"
"Oh, God. I think China is looking at me. Why does my brother always have to be so embarrassing?"
"China 's your brother?"
"Yes." Japan looked longingly as England opened the door to the class. Suddenly a tiny pasta light bulb popped on top of Italy 's head.
"Greece just said that England had detention this afternoon right? Well, what if we get Japan in detention too?!"
"But how would we get Japan in detention?" Germany looked deep in thought. "All new students get let off with 3 chances before any detention."
"Then we just have to get him in trouble over 3 times."
"I really don't think this is a good idea" Japan mumbled.
"Do you want to talk to England or not?"
"Okay then, I guess." Japan looked at the ground.
"I have an idea" Germany said "The school mainly has 4 rules it definitely doesn't like broken. Bullying. Sexual harassment. Damage to property and incomplete work. Do each of these by this afternoon and you're sure for detention."
"But I can't do any of those things!"
"Too bad! You've already agreed to it! Now... I think we should start with the easiest. Damage to property. We might even be able to try bullying at the same time." Germany handed Japan a box of matches "You see America and Canada over there? Go and set fire to America 's Jacket." Japan took the box of matches and nodded.
"And so I took her beautiful slender form in my arms and produced a single red rose, then after we passionately..."
"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, FRANCE !" America said putting his hands over his ears. Canada listened intently to what France was saying.
"You're so amazing France , I wish I was more like you!" Canada said in amazement.
"YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM!" America yelled back. His timer pinged and he went to take his burger out of the oven. " France is just a useless pervert!" Japan walked over quietly and seemed to go by unnoticed.
"I mean, just look at France 's hair, it looks like a girls! What does he use on it? Herbal essences?"
"I make my own wine based shampoos. It gives it that extra shine." Japan edged closer to America nearly rubbing against him. He poked America on the shoulder causing America to turn around.
"Oh. Hello! You're Japan , aren't you? One of the new students. How are yo...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Japan lit one of the matches and threw it strait at America . Canada , almost instinctively, grabbed his maple syrup and pushed it behind him so someone wouldn't grab it again to put America out. America , after eventually getting the flames out, lay on the floor trying to recover.
"I don't think he's breathing." Canada said to France .
"I guess I'll just have to give him the kiss of life." America immediately sat up and pushed France away from him.
"Don't even think about it, baguette boy." Greece had already started walking over.
"Okay, what's going on here?" Greece said exhausted. Japan raised his hand and said
"I just set fire to another pupil, damaging their property in direct disregard to school rules." Japan raised America 's Jacket, which had been ripped with a razor while America was on fire.
"What? Why did you do that?"
"Because."
"Okay then, fine. I'm guessing your one of the new students so ill let you off with a warning. Just don't do anything aga... hey. Wait. I know you! Aren't you that guy who owns the cat reserve?"
"Yes, I love cats."
"Wow! I've always wanted to meet you! I put loads of money into your foundation! Maybe I won't give you a warning after all."
"NO! I mean... I deserve to be punished."
"Well, if that's what you want." Greece wobbled away, back to his look out point. Japan went back to Italy and Germany , who were already planning what Japan had to do next, leaving a sobbing America to cry over his Jacket.
France, Canada and a sobbing America met England out in the corridor.
"What the bloody hell happened to America ?"
"Oh that crazy Japanese kid set fire to him and then destroyed his jacket." France replied.
"Who?"
"You know. New student, kinda short, black hair, hangs around with Italy and Germany ."
"Oh. Him. But he doesn't seem the sort to do something like that." England mumbled.
"Less talk, more walking. We're going to be late for art." France pushed everyone along.
"Why are you so eager?"
"That Seychelles girl has volunteered to pose for me while I draw her." He smiled perversely to himself.
"Poor girl..."
Suddenly the corridor was filled with the English national anthem; England 's phone had gone of. England flipped it open and put it to his ear.
"Ello?.... No, I hope not.....HE DID WHAT?!?!... Look, I'm still at school so I have to go, just, make sure he doesn't destroy anything else."
"Who was that?" France asked with mild curiosity.
"Scotland . My next door neighbour, Ireland , keeps sneaking into my house and trying to..."
"Actually, I don't care. I'm just trying to be polite." Canada , America and England both stopped waking looking confused.
"Since when do you act polite?"
"APRIL FOOLS!"
"It's not April."
"May 17th fools!"
"Your really are annoying you know that."
"Hey, can I borrow your phone?"
"Why?"
"Because I need to call someone, duh."
"Tssh, fine" England handed his phone over to France .
"Yoink!" France took England 's phone and threw it in the dust bin. He ran down the corridor laughing.
"GET BACK HERE!" England screamed running after him. America turned to Canada .
"Wanna get England 's phone out of the dustbin and make prank calls on it?"
"Sure."
"Welcome! Welcome!" Turkey greeted everyone coming inside the room personally. Russia and Belarus entered the room.
"Welcome!"
"Stay away from Russia !" Belarus screamed at him, pushing Russia behind her back.
"Okay then..." Turkey backed away slowly. France entered, actually, more like tumbled into the room with England .
"Welcome!" England and France ignored Turkey and continued to fight each other on the floor. He sighed. There was no point in separating them; they would just start again in another couple of minutes. After a couple of moments, most of the students had entered the classroom.
"Okay, let's start Today's lesson! You will be doing figures and clothes. We already have one model, Seychelles , but we need one more. Any volunteers?" Russia put his hand up.
"Russia ?"
"I volunteer Poland ." Russia grabbed hold of a stunned Poland from behind and pushed him to the front of the class, sitting back down next to Lithuania 's seat.
"Okay Poland , put this dress on and then we can..."
"Whoa! Nobody said anything about wearing a dress! That's so cool! Gimme!" Poland shamelessly took of his school clothes in front of everyone in the room in his eagerness to get changed. After getting into the dress he went to look at himself in the mirror.
"You're so gorgeous! Yes you are. NO, you ARE! *giggle*" Poland stroked his reflection on the full-length mirror, admiring his new pink dress and playing with its ribbons.
"And I thought I was vain" Prussia mumbled to himself, doing his hair in his hand held pocket mirror. He blew himself a kiss before closing the lid. Romano grabbed the mirror out of Prussia 's hand and started looking at himself as well.
"I'm SO hotter than you, just look at my gorgeous curl and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. You just look like one of those mutant albino red eyed bunnies that people sacrifice at the stake."
"At least I'm Unique!"
"So is Russia 's Personality."
"Don't go there, girlfriend!" Prussia clicked his fingers in front of Romano's face, his other hand on his hips.
"Oh! I already went there!" Romano clicked his fingers and moved his arm in a circular motion, flicking his hair back.
"Bring it on, Pasta-boy!"
"Oh I'll bring it alright. I bring it more than... a thing that brings things."
"Yeah, well what do you have to say to this?!" Prussia grabbed a pair of scissors of his desk and cut Romano's curl off "Yeah! Not so gorgeous any more! Are you?" Romano stared at him, shocked. It took a couple of seconds to realise what he had actually done. Dark circled appeared beneath his eyes and he started to turn pale.
"Hey, are you... alright?" Prussia looked at him concerned, still holding the curl in his hands.
"I...I...Wha...What. Why...What?" Romano fainted and fell face forward onto the desk.
"Well shit."
"Nii-san!" Italy came rushing over to see if Romano was okay. The first thing he saw was Romano's unconscious body on the table and Prussia standing over him holding his hair.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! YOU JUST KILLED MY BROTHER! GEEEEERMAAAANY!" German and Japan came rushing over immediately.
" Prussia ! What have you done now?!" Germany smacked him round the side of the head.
"Ow! All I did was cut his stupid gay hair." Italy gasped.
"How could you do that? Germany , your brother is a heartless meanie and I hate him!"
"Sheesh, I didn't know he would take it so bad." Prussia complained while Italy started to try and sticky-tape his hair back on. Turkey towered over everybody looking unimpressed.
"What are you doing? You are disrupting my lesson and today is a very important day so I can't mess up."
"Prussia killed Romano!" Italy complained.
"Prussia . Detention. LEAVE THE ROOM IMMEDIATELY!"
"But I didn't kill him, I just..." Turkey glared at him.
"Okay then..." Prussia went to leave the room as quickly as possible.
"Take him with you to the medical room," Turkey pointed at Romano's slumped body, "The nurse, Spain , should look after him there." After a couple of minutes of getting Prussia to carry Romano out, sending everyone back to their desks and stopping Poland molesting himself, Turkey finally had the class in order.
"Look at my pretty picture Germannny! Isn't it pretty?" Italy added more paint to his painting.
"Great." Germany muttered though clenched teeth, trying to make his picture actually look like something rather than a scribble.
" I. CAN'T. DO. THIS." Germany snapped his paintbrush in half.
"You need to use smoother strokes, like this." Japan tried to show Germany how to do it but got pushed away. He went back to his own picture.
"So what should we have Japan do next?" Italy asked. Germany , calming down, decided to answer.
"Well, we haven't got any work in for a long time so we can't break the 'incomplete work' rule. I think the only option is to break the 'sexual harassment' rule."
"But...who?"
"I don't know. Anyone you particularly feel the need to harass Japan ?"
"I... I won't do it. I have a REPUTATION and I can't be known as the likes-to-burn-things-and-molest-people-boy!"
"No molesting, no England . Now just pick a name out at random out of this hat and you WILL molest them." Germany produced a hat with slips of paper in it. Japan sighed and took out a piece of paper.
"Shit."
"Who is it?"
" France ."
Dundundaahhhh... cliffhanger of lamness. Anyway, please review! Reviews make people feel happy! And if you don't make me happy i will find out where you live, break into your house, sneak into your bedroom and put a giant picture of Poland in MEN'S clothes on your wall. I know... it burns...