*~I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT....I OWN 'La Pomme D'Armor'~*
*~THANK YOU for the reviews!!~*
*Bella*
When a person has a busy day like the one I had with Alice, usually that person would be zonked out into an easy sleep, peaceful for the next day – however that night after everyone downstairs had gone to bed...I was still up, unable to stop my mind from working on overtime when it didn't need to.
I had sat up in Edward's bed for what seemed like hours, the time dragging painfully slowly in the droning silence before plucking up the courage to move around...Go downstairs to at least get something to drink before coming back up again...I tied my dressing gown around myself and opened the bedroom door slowly – the creaks not so evident from the very inside of it to the landing out ahead...There was complete silence and Alice had already gone home and no doubt Edward was either still at work or asleep in the living room.
He was sleeping when I passed the living room...The sound of his heavy breathing being the only sound to be heard in the dead corpse of the apartment...Something else rang through my ears then, a little bang which was coming from behind me...I came to a stand-still in the corridor so close to the kitchen and saw a white piece of paper hanging out of the tiny letterbox at the centre of the door...I frowned before walking towards it and taking it gently out of it's holder not wanting to make any more noise...It was folded in half so on instinct I opened it...There was no name on the envelope and so...If it wasn't for me then seeing as there wasn't an envelope, either – it wouldn't matter so much.
I walked into the kitchen and took a seat on a chair before opening the envelope out in front of me.
I know you are staying here – you can't hide forever little beauty.
I want my payment.
Nausea and panic constricted my throat – The letter wasn't even hand-written there were cut-outs of what looked like different letters from magazines...At the sound of the door...I blinked away the filling tears on my eyelids and stuffed the piece of paper down the waistband of my pyjama trousers and ran both my hands through my hair.
"Mon Cherie...What are you doing....I mean er...Why aren't you sleeping?" Sebastian emerged from the darkness of the corridor into the kitchen his gaze falling on me.
"I can't sleep...Have you just finished work?"
"Yes...The job is...How you say...Demanding" Sebastian answered...He held the back of the chair opposite mine at the table "would you like someone to talk to?"
I smiled uncontrollably at his honest question..."Sure" I answered him nodding.
Sebastian sat down carefully so as not to make any noise that can wake Edward in the other room and placed his hands together on the table in front of both of us. "Why can't you sleep?"
"I don't know...Being here has changed my sleeping patterns"
"France is a big change for a lovely English girl like you...Lying to you at this moment would not be the right thing to do"
"Thank you...I appreciate the fact that someone is being honest with someone?"
"What do you mean joli?"
"Edward has been telling me that everything is going to be alright but the more I stay here, the more I realise that maybe...I will never belong here"
"Ah non-sens, Bella...You have been a great change for this place...I have never seen Edward so happy before – he has been lost for a while!"
"Lost?"
"Edward is a man who has many talents – he just fails to see them, it is frustrating for his friends like us who care about him and what he does with his life"
"I thought he was happy"
"Oh no, Bella...Bien au contraire...After losing his family he has not been able to care about anyone in his life...That is, until you come into his life"
"Sebastian...Do you mind me asking, where is it that you come from...Do you have a family?"
"My mother lives in Roussillon...I never knew my father, there was only me as a child...I mean, the only child and my mother and I did not have a lot of money and so...I have been working and earning for a long time"
"I'm sorry...That must have been hard"
"Yes, it was...But when you grow up with nothing you appreciate the little things in life a lot more – I adore my job and the pay is good...I can't complain"
"You have a good attitude"
"I cannot say that I have the same...Erm....Intelligence as you, though"
"Sebastian...You don't know me"
"I know that a lot of young people would have left this country already because the change is too much for them-"
"The only reason I am here is because of Edward"
"Do you have a boyfriend back home?"
"No...I did, a while ago...How about you?"
"Recently broke up with my girlfriend, Brigitte...The most stunning girl in the whole of France"
"Really?"
"Of course but sometimes in this world we lose things that we once cared deeply about...Brigitte and I had very demanding jobs and little time to spend with each other....I wanted to be with her badly and so...We had to make the sacrifice"
"The sacrifice of giving up someone you love?"
"You have to do it sometimes, Bella....For both theirs and your best interests"
"So...If you had the choice between working and her, you would pick work?"
"No...But, both of us love what we do but we loved each other...In those kind of situations there are no other options and there aren't any compromises"
"That must have broken your heart"
"Yes...It did"
"I could never give up someone I loved that much"
"It comes at a price...I have been working all my life and I did not want to give that up...Who knows in the future we may run into each other again"
"Maybe"
"Have you ever truly loved someone, Bella?"
"No...Unfortunately"
"Then you may never know what that kind of thing is like until experiencing it for yourself"
"You're right...I can never understand what you are saying...But I have had to mend a broken heart a few times"
"Really?"
"Yes...I had to mend my heart when the man I thought I loved showed his true colours to me...I also had to mend it when my parents sent me here – then Maureen died"
"I heard"
"Edward told you?"
"Yes...She was a great woman, also had a lot of love for you"
"I miss her, Sebastian"
"That is natural...Death is horrible on all accounts and even though, I have struggled in my life – I have never experienced death in it"
"Let's hope you never have to"
"Ah life is one of those endless mysteries, Bella....One minute it can throw you in the deep end and the next it deals you a card...I guess that is the fun of it, no?"
"I guess...I do not see it that way – I see it as a learning curve – we are dealt the cards we are given and so must play on no matter what the cost or how much we may or may not want to...Life for my parents did not have many cards...Maybe, two at the most – a successful job and marriage...Now, I have an unknown deck"
"You will make it out here, Bella...I am certain of it"
"Shall I take your word for it?" I asked him with a small smile.
"No...But, it is a consolation that others can see your as you say, true colours even though you may not yet see them yourself"
"Thanks, Sebastian...That means a lot"
"My pleasure...Are you going to be able to sleep, now?"
"I doubt it...You need to get some sleep...Have you got another shift in the morning?"
"I have my day off, tomorrow...I am going to visit my mother"
"She will be pleased to see you"
"Here's hoping-" Sebastian broke off as he rose from the table...Putting the chair back properly "bonne nuit, young Bella"
"Bonne nuit, Seb" I answered softly...Guessing that those two words meant goodnight, either that or I have made a fool out of myself yet again in my young life...Sebastian walked away and up the stairs.
I could feel the letter burning against my skin...I never wanted to see it again, but there was trouble facing me if I did not sort out what it is Carlisle was really after...Of course the letter was from Carlisle...Who else could it be from? The idea of sticking letters from magazines on a piece of paper to send a message indicated to me that he did not want to run the risk of a possible police enquiry, where DNA must be swapped in order for them to find him the offender.
The fear was too much to send me into any hope of getting sleep, now...I got up and without thinking walked into the living room...Sitting down on the armchair opposite to where Edward was sleeping peacefully.
Edward did look so peaceful when he slept...He had been through a hard life..How can anyone so nice as him or Sebastian have gone through so much trauma and emotional drain the injustice was awful. They were great people, who deserved good in their life however it seemed the bad people always get the better end of the stick.
Telling Edward about the letter was a slight temptation, I cannot lie to myself and say that it wasn't but if he knew then he would only take out means to protect me even more, alas he had his own life to lead and he had to protect himself...I was unimportant when individuals needed to take the stubborn approach to their lives and do things only with their intentions at heart...I was not one of those people, so I was going to force it upon others because independence was the thing I desired above all things.
My friend's breathing soothed me a little, the fact that he was able to sleep meant something to me as he worked hard for his money...I will be one of those people who pave their own life paths...Even if that means having to go back and work for Carlisle...I needed the money, I needed to pay back Edward's kindness....That, or die trying!
"Can't sleep?"
I snapped out of my trance to find Edward's eyes locking with mine from his bed...He looked sleepy but he did not look agitated that I had woke him up...I swallowed down the truth and the real thoughts in my head and spoke.
"No...I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No...Come here?"
Edward held out his hand bringing it out into the air from the warmth of his pillow...I immediately got up from the chair even though my mind was screaming at me to go back upstairs and leave him alone...I brushed his fingers lightly with mine before he enveloped my hand entirely in his own...Coldness against warmth...The warmth sent comfort to my very soul and in that moment...I did not want to leave him.
Without saying anything Edward scooted over across the other side of the bed and pulled me into the spot he had just left...I climbed into the warm cocoon the same beautiful smell of my friend making me feel instantly better the burn from the letter still in the waistband of my trousers washing away.
I never protested when Edward released my hand and wrapped his arms around me...Taking the duvet cover with him and entwining me into it...He kissed my forehead before resting his chin on the top of my head and breathing heavily.
Strangely, by magic...My eyes fluttered closed against the radiating warmth and kindness from both his physical body and his soul.
*(Morning)*
As I opened my eyes, I found my position to still be the same as when I had gone into a much needed sleep last night, however this sleep was better than any of the nights I had endured upstairs alone in Edward's bedroom...What did that mean?
I tilted my head back away from Edwards chin and throat and gazed at his deep-sleeping form once before gently removing my body from his arms....Pleased after that I could stand and not have him wake up on me....I stretched out my arms above my head and walked out of the living room and up the stairs.
There was something that I needed to do, today....Something that I could not tell Edward about...Or anyone else that was linked to him.
It was a thing that I had to do, in order to get some peace of mind.
I showered quickly and got changed into the most unflattering clothes I owned, remembering to throw the letter into one of my drawers, hidden underneath my clothes where no one in the house would go into...Tying my wet hair up in a bun...I took my usual daily pill and after hanging up the towels back in the bathroom...I tiptoed down the stairs, the silence in the house was a welcoming sound to my ears...No one must be up, yet....Not minding about not having a key I stepped out of the front door and out into the morning air.
Lord knows what the time was; I could not bring myself to care...It was light and that was all that mattered right now..This day was not going to be a good one. That much, I knew already.
'Beau Lace' looked no different to when I was last in it...Except for the fact that it was now, the daytime and there were not any drunks to back up the overall craziness and truthfully down right absurdity of the club.
I opened the double door...Strangely surprised at the fact that it was open before stepping into the bar..I saw Lucy stocking up new bottles of drinks on the empty shelves..As she turned and her eyes locked with mine she gasped and dropped a small bottle of juice onto the floor...I bit down on my lip and closed the distance between us, the bar being the only thing in our way.
"Bella...What are you doing here?"
"Lucy, would you care to explain why there was a letter sent to me?"
"A letter..What kind of letter?"
"The kind that does not have evidence of hand-writing, only issues of different magazines?"
"Oh Jesus, Bella...I never thought that he would actually go through with it!"
"Carlisle?"
"He has never forgotten your male friend dragging you out of here and not making a payment for you...You know, I cannot persuade him otherwise"
"Lucy...What is it that he wants?"
"This is a nightclub...However; the difference now being is you have to make the payment to Carlisle, himself and not the punters. To make him shut up and hopefully leave you alone...I have to say even then it is not definitely going to be permanent then you must give him exactly what he asks for"
"Whatever he asks for?"
"I am so sorry, Bella...All of us working that night tried to make him forget you but it was doomed to good to be true"
"How did he know where I lived?"
"Carlisle has ways and means"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Get out of here"
"What?"
"Get out of here, right now...Before he sees you"
"Ah Lucy....Why did you not inform me that we had a visitor?"
Both Lucy and I turned to see Carlisle at the 'staff only' door eyeing me up and down "Bella..So nice to see you, again"
His voice was sickly sweet...Put-on entirely...As much as it pained me to see him and to find out what it was he wanted from me...I needed to do it, if I were to have any hope of leading a normal life without any interruptions to my happiness or well-being.
I swallowed down the sudden dryness and constriction in my throat as Carlisle closed the distance between himself and I, putting his index finger under my chin...Tears were already threatening to fill up my eyes as I tried to keep my eyes locked with his so as not to show the fear in my eyes...I bit down hard on my bottom lip as he slowly leaned in to my ear.
"Come into my office" he whispered...I followed him, then into the office never once looking back to Lucy who would no doubt have a look of horror and suspicion on her face at my choice.
I closed the door and watched Carlisle sit down on the sofa "how have you been keeping, Bella?"
The magazines on the coffee table caught my eye...The same magazines that must have been used to make my letter in the early hours of this morning. "Fine...Carlisle, I know you are the one who send that note to me"
"What note would that be, Bella?"
"What is it that you want?"
"I want payment"
"Fine...But I have no money"
"I do not want money, Bella...I have enough of that – I want to be paid by other means"
My breathing was becoming erratic....
'Those people don't care about beauty or talents all they want is sex' Edward's voice swirled around my head like a wild fire, I was stupid not to listen to him as he was right...Why would Carlisle want anything else...If this is how he earns his own living?
I must be confident in this moment...I cannot show him my fear and give him any satisfaction or ammunition to use against me in a situation where I was doomed to be vulnerable and uncomfortable.
"What do you want?" I asked in a forced-steady voice.
Carlisle got up from the sofa and cupped my face in his hands...I hated the feel of his skin on mine...Nothing felt right, none of this, did.
"As long as you make me happy, Bella...I can take care of you, financially" he reached into his pocket taking one hand off of my face...He took out a small wad of money and held it up to my face "six hundred euros, Bella...This is yours, if you give me what I want"
My eyes immediately went to the money in his hands, six hundred euros sounded like a lot of money even though I did not know how much it would come to in English pounds. English pounds were truly not going to be in my new life, anymore!
I took the money from him my hand shaking and put it in my back pocket as Carlisle's empty hand cupped my cheek, again as he smiled.
"Good girl" he said before kissing my lips hard...I did not fight against him even though every area ofmy body was fighting to run away from this place...Nausea came to my stomach again as he parted my mouth and used his tongue in my mouth...I kept my lips lifeless...Letting him move them in the way that he wanted.
Without warning, Carlisle had moved his hands off of my face and up underneath my top to grasp my covered breasts in his hands rubbing them forcefully as he sighed continuously against our working mouths...I desperately needed to release some tears because this did not feel right at all...There was no feeling behind this at least not from me and I instantly felt dirty and worthless as Carlisle did what he wanted with me.
"I want you to come back, tonight...You will be paid, however this will have to do me until I can get a more suitable attire for you" Carlisle whispered before running his tongue along my upper and lower lip making me cringe internally.
I could only nod then, the attire he meant was going to be the outfit I had worn before...Maybe even worse.
I walked out of his office into the empty bar – Lucy was no longer there and I was grateful that she was not there to give me a shameful look to add to the shame that already weighed down on my body and my mind.
As I stepped out into the air...I ran back to Edward's apartment needing to take another shower to wash away the dirtiness and evidence of what I had just done.
I knocked softly on the front door...Edward and Alice opened it...Both giving me questioning looks.
"Bella...Where have you been?" Edward asked me, concern clouding his voice.
"I went for a walk" I lied simply.
"Bella...I want to take you out again today, with Edward this time!" Alice beamed.
"Okay...I need to take a shower, first I haven't had one" lying to Alice and Edward felt so horrible that hanging myself in shame right now would be the only way to rid that sadness that suddenly surrounded my heart.
I kicked off of my shoes and pegged it up to the bathroom...Stripping down and walking into the shower in haste.
I scrubbed myself with the loofah so hard to get rid of all the traces of my encounter with Carlisle in secret...It was easy to ignore the pain from the loofah on my skin when it meant that I was going to be fully clean.
I got dressed in new clothes just as quickly shoving the old ones away at the back of my drawer and had sat down on the end of Edward's bed and lifted my knees up my arms wrapping around them...I took the opportunity in silence to let out all of my tears.
I did not even hear the bedroom door opening, just a voice after about five minutes later.
"Bella?"
The voice like velvet...The voice of the person that had no knowledge of what I was getting myself into, no idea about how much of a bad friend I was being. If there was any way that I could get out of this then hell, I would do it but Carlisle was never going to leave me alone if I didn't do this...Not having Edward worry was the BEST thing...Even though it felt so horrible.
My arms were pulled away from my knees and my knees were pushed gently onto the floor...In my emotion I could only be a ragdoll as the sobs escaped my stomach rapidly the tears flowing down my cheeks like a waterfall.
Edward pulled me into his chest as he ran his hands gently down my now loose hair. "Ssh...Everything is going to be alright Bella, I am here now" he soothed, the sound of his caring voice making me cry even more.
Oh Edward, please forgive me...If you ever find out about this then even if it is years down the line...Find it in your pure and good heart to forgive me!!
I can't live knowing that you think badly of me...A friend, who you thought you knew so well.
Forgive me!
Thanks for Reading!
*Samantha*