*~I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT....I OWN 'La Pomme D'Armor'~*
*~THANK YOU for the reviews!!~*
*Bella*
Stepping through the arrivals corridor at Gatwick Airport was the loneliest moment in my life, ever...Lots of people that had been on my plane were already hugging and showing love to their family who was waiting for them and I had to walk down what looked like the death row lit up to the very entrance of the airport...The annoying thing about Gatwick is that it may not be very large but it had long corridors that felt like a maze walking through it.
I wiped away the tears from my cheeks with my spare hand thankful that I had made a quick and abrupt exit from where all the families were together along with the taxi drivers holding up boards.
Stopping my movements on the way out...I noticed a payphone – I forgot to take my mobile phone to France with me...I dug out useless coppers that I never once used my old piggy bank for instead the zipper of the handbag on my shoulder...I picked up the phone and dialled the number of the taxi office near my house....This is not the first time I have had to use a taxi; Public transport can never fully be trusted completely and it has become a third option to get myself to school and various other places in the past with the friends who had left me behind.
"Hello I need to get a taxi from Gatwick airport to Crawley, please?"
*Edward*
"What do you mean she's gone!"
I didn't understand it...Why did Bella have to go...Had we upset her?!
"You might want to read this note...There is one on the back of this paper that you have to read, first" Sebastian informed me...Handing the paper to me...I flipped it around and saw neat scrawl on the back.
To my amazing friends
No words will ever begin to describe how blessed I have been to have you all in my life...I have put two months' rent money inside this letter...The letter being the reason for why I cannot stay here and burden you any longer.
This is not about ANY of you....It's just something I have to do to get my life back on track again and spread my own wings another way.
I love each and every one of you and I hope will all of my heart that you can forgive me, maybe not now but in the foreseeable future.
All my love...Always
Bella
X
"But it doesn't make sense...I don't understand" I admitted wanting to throw something against the wall to get the anger out of my system.
"Read the note inside, Edward...It should explain things"
"Have you seen it?"
"I glanced at it...You will probably understand it better than I can" at Sebastian confused expression...I opened up the paper and saw a message cut-out of magazine letters.
I know you are staying here – you can't hide forever little beauty.
I want my payment.
Carlisle!!
That bastard who had made her dance at that club that night!! What the hell was going on?!
"Do you know who it is from?"
Sebastian hadn't been with us when I dragged Bella out of that club...She looked so beautiful that it was so hard not to stare at her stunning figure and natural gleaming features under the hot spotlights...Does he know the club? Will he be able to shed some light on the club and it's boss that had made my Bella run away from me, from all of us?
"Seb...Do you know of the club...'Beau Lace'"?
I had also not known Sebastian when I had been a regular there myself, which even to this day I still want to hit myself for.
"Of course...It is very popular around here...I have never been there, myself-"
"The boss...This is from the boss of that club...He makes the woman there do sexual favours to him for money...Is that right?"
"I only know that the people that go there can have those things...I do not know that the boss or the owner does"
"Shit...How can this be happening...Bella stopped going to that place when Paul, Jake and I took her out of it the night of my birthday"
"The boss threatened Bella?"
"It looks like it"
"Wow...That is unheard of in France...What are we going to do?"
"We have to go down there!"
"We can't...It is late, wait until the morning...In some hours when there isn't going to be any people going there – that club is only popular at the night time"
"I can't sleep knowing that Bella has already...Maybe, even already gone back to England"
"How do you know that she has gone back?"
"It's Bella – she has nowhere else to go...And nothing to keep her, here"
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"I would have thought that she'd have stayed for...You"
"Seb...Bella was my friend – she still is but she didn't see me as anything else..Why would I be the reason that she stayed here when she is clearly being threatened...Why didn't she tell me?!"
"Maybe she was afraid...Even strong people like Bella get scared sometimes, Edward"
"I have told her thousands of times that I am always here for her...Why did she feel that in her heart she couldn't speak to me about it"
"Have I ever told you about a friend of mine back in Rouisllon when I was growing up?"
"Carlos or Renal?"
"Neither"
"No"
"Sit down" even though I was not in the mood to sit down...Sebastian had this amazing ability to make me feel better..Much like the way Bella had always done...I trusted him enough to hear him out...I sat down on my bed as my roommate sat down opposite me on the armchair where Bella had sat a few nights ago before sleeping beside me.
Oh Bella why did you have to go...I miss you so much!!
"This friend – who for reasons will be clear is not my friend anymore, her name was Sofia...Sofia had a great life, a family who loved her and a dream of being a fashion designer which she did go into studies for. However – somewhere along the line, she got involved with a man who was a drug-addict and got her addicted to them too. As her friend, I warned her off of them – telling her that she was good enough to fulfil her dream but my attempts were useless. Soon enough, her parents kicked her out and not long after, the boyfriend was killed in a car accident – clouded with grief and also homeless she shut herself out from the world but needed to make money for her habit. There was a club exactly the same as 'Beau Lace' not near from her house...I forget the name, now. She became a prostitute...Paying men to do her favours and that was all that she was known as – all she's still known as. What I am trying to say is that maybe, Bella did not want to tell us because she did not want to be known as a whore"
"Seb...That makes sense, but I would never think that of her – I could never think anything bad of her!"
"Minds work in funny ways, Edward...She must of had her reasons...She must know who this man is – there is also a chance that she may have been protecting you"
"Protecting me...I am not the one who needs to be protected she is the one who has gone back home to be with parents that will never care about her or love her with all their souls"
"Bella is a girl who knows her own mind...She has never truly belonged in this world, I hate to say that Edward because I always hoped that the two of you would fall in love with each other one day"
"That's ridiculous...We are from two different worlds, Seb"
"Stranger things have happened"
"I want to go after her!"
"Edward...As your friend I am telling you...Wait until the morning and then we can sort everything out...Jake and Paul will be back here tomorrow and if you want...You can ring Alice too and we will all discuss it"
I could only nod at Sebastian before he made his way up the stairs and into his bed...I was contemplating about lying on my bed down here...I knew already that I could never sleep but at least lying on the bed I will be somewhat relaxed.
On an inkling, I opened my bedroom door closed it behind me after trudging exhausted up the staircase and climbed into my bed...Smelling the strawberry scent of Bella's shampoo still on the pillowcases – by smelling her, she was still here with me – as silly as it sounded, it felt good knowing that I had something of her here with me.
God...I wanted her back....I wanted her back so much the pain was unbearable!!
*Bella*
"Thank you" I gave the rest of my money to the taxi driver and climbed out of the car...Gazing at my old home once more at a distance before making the walk up my driveway...My mum's car was in the driveway so she was going to be in, my dad, however was not in...He would be at work at this time of the day.
Taking a deep breath – I rang my doorbell feeling a little stupid for not brining my set of keys to France and keeping them on me for when I came back.
"Bella?"
My mum answered the door, wearing a dressing gown and her fuzzy slippers...It was still early in the morning and she, standing at the door made the total count of two people I had woken up unnecessarily at a stupid hour.
"Hi mum" I answered her, giving a little smile.
"What are you doing back here?" she asked running a hand through her hair.
"Can I come in, please?"
"Of course" mum knew when something was bothering me, it was one of the things that as a parent – she was extremely good at...My father was the one who wore the trousers in their marriage and I was a little happy knowing that he wasn't here to fire forty questions my way about why I was back at home.
As I stepped into my living room...I put down my suitcase and sat down on my familiar soft sofa..My mum walking over and sitting next to me. "I am sorry...I am very happy to see you back here, Isabella but...Your father will be asking you the same questions I am"
"I know...Maureen died"
"What?!"
"A week ago...I couldn't stay there, mum...I have let dad down by coming back and not living out there which I am aware of...But, I wasn't happy"
"Oh Bella...I am sorry...I felt terrible when your father made the decision to send you away...I tried for weeks to persuade him to rethink but your father is always adamant and insistent that his word be the definite and permanent"
"Don't worry...I am sorry that I woke you"
"I was up, anyway...Would you like a drink?"
"Yes please...Is my lemon squash still around?"
"Of course" my mum gave me a kiss on the cheek and made her way into the kitchen...Why did I feel so strange being back in my living room when it had been the childhood home of mine? Nothing felt the same...Everything felt different but in terms of the design and decoration nothing had changed one single bit. Was it me? Or had I really been in France too long that I had forgotten what my home was like?
"Here, sweetie" mum handed me my glass of squash and I drank it down immediately...The one thing that should always remind me of my own home is my lemon squash...It was a trademark drink for me through my days on the earth.
"I should say now, mum...That Maureen left everything to her carer...Her carer got the house and her money and no, I didn't get into a police investigation because as dad has always said I am useless at the important things"
"Oh God...He is not going to be happy. Did the carer chuck you out?"
"Yes...Fortunately I made friends and they let me stay with them up until this morning when I left the country"
"Wow...That was very considerate of them...Do you miss them?"
"Like hell but...I was blessed in meeting them, without them I would have ended up homeless and even more scared"
"There is no need to worry about your dad, at least not right now...He is at work on a late shift so...Why don't you go and get showered and unpack...Come back down and tell me all about these friends of yours?"
"Okay" I answered with an appreciative smile...I left the glass in the kitchen and grabbed my suitcase from behind the door...I climbed up the stairs and opened the door to my room.
There it was – my old room...My security, my special place that no one could ever intrude in without my expressed permission...Never the same as it had been before...The one place where I could be myself without having any prejudice or scrutiny from anyone else no longer held a large place in my heart...I fought back the tears at how different and scary it was being back here when my father got home. Mum could only truly be herself when he was away and I forgotten how nice she really was without my dad putting words in her mouth and making decisions for her.
How had she coped being dictated to for so long? There must be something there for how long they had been married....But like all appearances, they may have looked like the perfect couple and with me, the perfect family but I had never really seen my mum laugh before, not properly and it was always the little things that had confused me growing up and still confuse me, now.
I unpacked my suitcase and put my clothes in the wardrobe...Keeping the outfit and heels that I had worn for Carlisle away from where either or both of my parents could see them and grabbed my towels folded up in one of the shelves of my wardrobe and walking into my bathroom.
I did not need my wash bag as the products that I had left behind were still there, untouched and ready to use again in the should have been familiar and usual way but was no more. I basked under the hot water ridding the traces of plane, tiredness and loneliness of being back home away...I could not let my mum see me upset and give her the indication that my dad had won the battle with me that he had set out to win from the very beginning.
As I finished, I wiped down the screen and wrapped the towel around myself...Taking my hair products and shower gel out of the shower and back into my bedroom with me – seeing as I was going to be here for a while, I changed into a casual outfit of a tracksuit which I used for going to the gym in once upon a time and left my hair wet and loose.
I disposed of my wet towels on the radiator in the bathroom and covered my chilly feet with a pair of socks, that and putting my wash bag and pills in the drawer beside my bed.
Looking 'decent' which is the best thing for me, being at home...I walked down the stairs and back into the kitchen flipping on the kettle and sorting out some cups for my mum's usual tea and my much-needed coffee to keep myself from falling back to sleep...Seeing as I had no sleep last night it was starting to show.
*Edward*
*(Six hours later)*
"She just left?!"
Alice looked about as shocked as I had been as she sat in the kitchen along with Jake and Paul...All looking confused and shocked at my revelation.
"Why?" Jake asked...I didn't know what to say...The lack of sleep last night did not help my mental state and so...In defeat, I placed the note on the table.
"Read the back first and then the middle" I stated simply sitting down and putting my head in my hands not wanting to see their faces when they discovered why Bella had left us and gone back home.
The silence was torture and all I had ever been able to think about for the past how many hours was Bella – nothing felt the same without her around and the more I missed her the more I began to wonder how I had ever been able to live my life before meeting her...I can never look back and remember how it had been because she had taken up such a major part of my mind.
"This is from that guy who runs 'Beau Lace'!" I heard Paul exclaim..I lifted my head from my hands and rested my weight on my arms in front of me at the table.
"'Beau Lace'...That's still going?!"
Alice had been there with me countless times to drag me out, her opinion never once registering in my mind about how much hatred she had for the place and how women should have real jobs and earn a proper income instead of selling themselves to the nearest 'perverts' was her word that came along.
"Wait...This doesn't mean what I think it means, does it, Edward?" Jake asked me, then looking weary.
"What do you think it means?"
"I think that this man was threatening her, Edward and that she never told us...He probably wanted her to do things and so she couldn't take it anymore"
"That's what I think"
"I wonder why she never told us...I mean, what was going through her mind?" Paul asked.
"We'll never know"
"Poor Bella, no wonder she wanted to go...We have to do something!"
"Like what, Alice...Declare war on a nightclub...If people knew about what really went on there, do you think that it would still be going?!" Jake said...Telling her exactly the thoughts that were going through my own mind.
"How can this man get away with this...If this is what he does?!"
"He must have his own ways...He must of found out that Bella was living here and somehow sent this note...Was she keeping it a secret to pay her share of the rent money or was it something deeper than that" Paul said
"Like what...Protection?" Jake added
"Oh my god...It makes sense if Bella left because this man was sending her notes here; She probably went back when no one was around and tried to pay him back but got nowhere...She went on those 'walks' Edward!" Alice said.
"I know...Sebastian thought that she was also thinking that we were all going to think that she was some kind of whore if she told us"
"Why would we think that?"
"Come on, Alice...You have said yourself that the women there are nothing but whores!"
"Those women, Edward....But not Bella"
"Do you think she's really gone home...To England?" Paul asked.
"She has nowhere else to go...Nothing that could have kept her here"
"You have to go and get her back!"
"Don't you think I have thought of that, Alice"
Mine and my roommates debate was interrupted by three hard knocks on the front door...I stood up from the table and went down the hallway to open it....Damn that Seb always forgetting his keys!
"Oh...Hi...I am sorry to bother you at this hour, but does a man named Edward live here?"
There was a woman at the door that I had never seen before, the strange woman was asking after me...I hoped to God then that it wasn't one of my hook-ups from the past come back to haunt me in this already shithole of a situation.
"I am Edward...Who are you?"
"My name is Lucy...I work at 'Beau Lace'...I came to talk to you about Bella"
The sound of Bella's name coming from the young woman's lips made me think twice about slamming the front door back in her face...I turned.
"GUYS...I AM GOING OUT FOR A MINUTE!" I shouted, not sticking around to hear their answers..I closed the front door and Lucy followed me as I made my way to a nearest cafe – one that wasn't the one that Sebastian works in.
This needed to be a private conversation...Maybe this Lucy girl could fill me in on Bella before she had left and the exact extent as to what I wanted to deal with in her boss.
*Bella*
"So...Who are these friends that you met?"
Mum was all eagerness to ask me questions about the people I had grown to love during my short time in France...The two of us sat down on the sofa drinking our hot drinks in our lounging around clothing.
"Which one do you want to know about, first?"
"Oh honey...Don't ask me things like that, I am rubbish with those kinds of questions...All of them!"
"I met four guys and one girl"
"All living in the same apartment?!"
"No...The four guys did, but only two of them were really around to call it their home...If you know what I mean"
"So who are they?"
"There was a Frenchman named Sebastian...The nicest guy you will ever meet...He worked at one of the local cafes which I had grown to love, there – he was hardly around because of job hours which was a shame but he has had a hard life...The next were a gay couple named Paul and Jacob...I don't actually know where they came from originally but they were usually away for their own jobs...The girl was called Alice, she was a little bit scatty but so welcoming at the same time...She lives in America as well but her family owned their own holiday home out in France which she was staying in when I met her."
"The last one?"
Edward
"The last man was named Edward....Edward Masen....I met him on my first night, he helped me get to Maureen's from the airport...He is American but he lives in France because his parents died a couple of years ago – he knew Jacob and Paul before they all lived out there and they offered him a place to stay with them"
"Sounds like I owe my thanks to this Edward Masen"
"Why?"
"Because he went out of his way to help you...That is a true friend, Bella"
"He was always nice to me...When I, wasn't always nice to him in return. Being there with him just made me feel accepted and wanted you know? After Maureen dying so suddenly...I was so alone but he picked me up and wiped away the cuts"
"It sounds like me made quite an impression"
"He became my best friend out there...I shall never be able to thank him enough for what he did for me...Yet – I will never know why he helped me so much"
"Do you not have a slightest inkling?"
"No...But I am sure that you do"
"Isabella...My lips are sealed...I am glad that you found some friends...Do you have a contact number for them?"
"Yes" I lied.
"Good – then you can always keep in touch"
Chance will be a fine thing, after reading that letter they will probably want nothing to do with me!
"Is dad going to be angry?"
"I don't know, sweetheart...He hasn't said much since you have been away – only work-related things"
"Oh"
"I am sure he will be happy to see you back home again"
Doubt it!!
*Edward*
"Tell me...Tell me about Bella...What do you know about her?"
I was anxious to ask this Lucy about Bella and keeping it away from my voice was not going to be an option...I needed to know what went on and I also needed to know so that I could get the next flight out to Gatwick.
"Bella worked at the club last night till around half twelve...She had been with Carlisle to pay him back but he will not accept cash as payment because he has enough of it"
"He wanted sex?"
"Yes"
"Did Bella give it to him?"
"No...Bella was strong – unlike all of us other girls, I tried to keep Carlisle distracted from her and Bella ended the night with a lot of money – however, the money that she earnt was not for her...She told me from the very beginning that she needed to pay you back for all the favours you had given her"
"Why?"
"She felt inadequate to have her friends pay everything for her...I remember seeing you the night you took her out of the club but unfortunately Carlisle hasn't forgotten about it, either....When he became desperate to have Bella...He got one of his men to send the note around to your house and Bella then came back to the club. Not because she wanted to grant him the favours that he wanted – she did it to protect you"
"Protect me...I don't understand?"
"Carlisle is capable of many things..Bella knew that the moment she stepped into that office but all she could think about was paying you back..She hated having to do it – I could see the pain in her eyes and it broke my heart to see it..Believe me, it did"
"So did you see her again apart from last night at the club?"
"Yes...Bella came around to my house at two am and gave me a pile of notes to give back to Carlisle...She said that she refused to have sex with him as she could not be intimate with someone who did not care about her on an emotional level...Once she told me that she was going home, I asked her whether there was anything that could make her stay?"
"What did she say?"
"Nothing...But I did ask her a question?"
"Which was?"
"I asked her hypothetically if you had said that you cared for her..Whether that would make her stay..She said she didn't know"
"What makes you think that I care about her any more than any other friend?"
"Bella never spoke of you like you were friends...It was like you were family, her support and reason for living her life...I am sorry if I have got it wrong-"
"Your boss...Is there any way that he can be convicted for doing these things to you?"
"No...He has the authorities wrapped around his finger and bouncers to fill out consistent searches of his office for hidden cameras or evidence that may have him convicted"
"So there is nothing...Women have to suffer at the hands of him and once they get in there is no way they can get out?!"
"Yes"
"How can you work like that?"
"A few months ago...I would have probably punched you to the ground for insinuating that I was a whore but now, I need the money...I did need the money but now it is more a case of being too afraid to stand up to my boss"
"Lucy...Did Carlisle hurt Bella?"
"No"
"You're sure?"
"Positive...Bella is strong and she has been lucky to have someone like you in her life to look after her. I really must be getting back home to get ready for work...She has gone, now...I doubt that she will want to come back here knowing that she has been targeted...As much as I hate to say it"
"Thank you, Lucy"
"No problem...Oh and before I go, If you want a bit of advice...If Bella ever comes back here, again...You need to tell her how you really feel about her, then maybe she won't be so quick to get away"
*Bella*
*(Evening)*
I was enjoying a much needed nap after my long night of travelling to different countries, the peace outside and the silence from the house made my drift into sleep a whole lot easier.
"WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US THAT MAUREEN IS DEAD?!"
I didn't even flinch at my dad's voice, or his barging into my bedroom the door slamming against the wall...I opened my eyes and sat up looking onto his flaming red face.
"Hi, dad...Nice to see you too" I shot.
"You don't talk to me like that, Isabella...Why have you not told us that her carer had got everything and left you out on the streets!"
"I wasn't on the streets, dad...I stayed with friends"
"Friends...Why were we not informed about these friends...They are strangers, Isabella!"
"They looked after me when I needed help...They were my FRIENDS"
"Cut the attitude, young lady...You have ALOT of explaining to do!"
At his remark I climbed off the bed to standing keeping my posture strong to show him that I was not fearful of him on the outside, however inside I was screaming.
"Explain what, dad...How you left me on my own in a strange country to fend for myself?!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Or how about how you drilled into me for so long that I was never going to be good enough for this life...For this family...Shall I explain that you have WON, dad...Because you have...I went to another country and failed at making my own independence!"
"How dare you...That was never a competition!"
"Wasn't it...Dad no matter what I do...No matter what I say it will always be wrong – I used to want to make you happy because I wanted to make you proud of me, a smile, a pat on the shoulder ANYTHING to make you believe that I had dreams...But that has all shot to shit!"
"Isabella...I am your father, is wanting you to have a LIFE so bad?!"
"A LIFE...THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL A LIFE....DAD, I WANT TO BE HAPPY IN MY LIFE...DO THINGS PURELY FROM MY OWN DECISIONS AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LIVING UP TO EXPECTATIONS...I WANT LOVE, SUCCESS, HAPPINESS AND ALL THE THINGS IN-BETWEEN..I CAN NEVER HAVE THAT HERE!"
"DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME, YOUNG LADY!"
"DAD...AS MUCH AS I DO NOT WANT TO SAY THIS..I LOVE YOU....I LOVE YOU AND MOM BUT I NEED YOU TO ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM AND NOT MAKE ME INTO SOME PERFECT DAUGHTER..I WILL NEVER BE PERFECT!"
"We will talk about this tomorrow!"
"Right because everything has to be put-off when you are not in control, I was an idiot for thinking that I was ever going to be accepted back here by you...My own parents!"
"Good night, Isabella"
Dad stormed out of my room and slammed the door behind him...I banged my fists against it in my anger "THAT'S IT...GO...GO AND LEAVE ME JUST LIKE ALWAYS – YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN A FATHER TO ME...FORGET TOMORROW...I WILL BE GOING BACK TO THE PEOPLE WHO CARE MORE ABOUT ME THAN YOU EVER WILL!"
I choked on my own tears of anger and sadness at my father's greeting for me back home, I sunk to my knees my back firm against the wall and held my head in my hands.
I should never have come back here!!
I miss Edward!
I miss him so much!
*Edward*
I sat on my bed for hours, alone after speaking with Lucy. Jake, Paul and Sebastian had all left the house but I had a feeling that Alice was still here even though she was planning on going.
"Tell her how you really feel about her...Then maybe she will have a reason to stay"
"Edward?"
I lifted my head up at Alice's voice and saw her coming towards me.
"You didn't go?" I asked her, sniffing.
"No...I was worried about you...Edward, what is it....You can tell me?" Alice knelt down on her knees and put her hands on my shoulders.
"I miss her, Alice"
"I know...We all miss her"
"No...Alice, I have put this off for so long because of fear of losing her...Losing her was my biggest fear and now it has happened, what have I got left to lose?"
"What are you saying, Edward?"
"I love her, Alice" I choked out "I've loved her since the night I met her...And I don't think that feeling is ever going to go away"
I let out another sob as Alice stood up and wrapped her arms around me...I held onto her letting out all my emotion as she rubbed my back in comfort.
My Bella needed to come back to me.
I can't live without her!
WOW...That was the longest chapter I have EVER written for LPDA!!
Thanks for Reading!
*Samantha*
xoxox