Chapter 4

Weir was not pleased. In front of her stood the incomplete SGA-1, looking like naughty schoolchildren caught with their hands in the cookie-jar. She really should have known better than to entrust such a delicate mission to John Sheppard. He was a good military commander, but a really crappy diplomat.

"So," she asked them, "would you care to explain again just exactly who thought ordering McKay was a good idea?" The idea of returning to Atlantis and Celine Dion made her next words sharper than she intended: "Really, John, haven't you learned anything these past couple of years."

"Hey," he answered, suddenly difficult, "it wasn't me who shouted at McKay that the whole Atlantis could hear it!"

Before Weir could answer the Colonel, Teyla interrupted them with her soft voice.

"Now, we all hate the idea of failure. But arguing among ourselves will not solve anything."

Weir sighed, taking control of her emotions. "Okay," she finally said, "I will go down myself and talk to him." She glared at John. "And you're staying here!" she informed him.

Minutes later Elisabeth stood in the Knight Industries hangar where the Daedalus had beamed her.

"Hello," she called. Nobody answered. She walked deeper into the building. The first thing she noticed was a sleek black car, suspended in some kind of cage. "Hello," she repeated.

As she drew near she saw a pair of feet sticking out from under the car. Carefully she bent down to peer at the person. It was Rodney. Obviously he hadn't heard her because of the i-pod he was listening to.

"McKay!" she said loudly – she never screamed. Well, except for that time McKay blew up that solar system, that is.

McKay had heard her and bumped his head with fright. She backed away and he rolled out from under the car.

"Great, what do you want?" he grumbled. He turned his back on her and picked up his laptop. Before she could even utter a single word McKay had crawled into the front seat of the car and closed the door on her. Through the door she saw him working on his laptop, completely ignoring her.

"Rodney!" she tried talking through the door. "Please, we need to talk!"

"No!" came the muffled reply. "Go away. I've got nothing to say to you!"

"It appears Doctor McKay doesn't want to talk to you," a cool, dry voice informed her. She spun around, expecting someone behind her. But it was still only her and Rodney in the building.

"Who said that?" she asked out loud.

"I did," said the mellow voice. She turned back to where it sounded the voice came from. But it was still only her and McKay. And the car. No, it couldn't have been!

"KITT, don't talk to backstabbing traitors," McKay said to whoever it was that had spoken.

"I am sure Doctor Weir never intentionally stabbed you in the back," the voice replied, and by now it dawned on Elisabeth who the other speaker was.

"Holy crap! It's the car talking, isn't it?" she said, totally perplexed.

"Give the woman a medal," Rodney sneered. He still hasn't looked up from what he was doing on his laptop.

"McKay, please," Weir said the moment she was in control of herself again. "We need you. Atlantis needs you. Really, believe me, she does!"

"No." Rodney sank down deeper into the seat. "You've had your chance."

"Rodney, I know we've acted like jerks. We're sorry."

"Oh, you're sorry, are you?" Rodney refused to look up. "Are you sorry I left, or are you sorry your best scientist left?"

Weir could feel her temper rising, but she had been in worse situations before and negotiated her way out of it.

"Rodney, please. You are our friend!"

"Friend? Friends don't treat other friends like that! They don't hold one itsy-bitsy mistake against them for weeks!" Rodney was on a roll now. "Friends forgive friends. Friends trust friends and don't make them work to win their trust back. Friends accept apologies!"

Weir gritted her teeth, aware this was not going as well as she had planned. "McKay..." she tried. But the only thing Rodney did was plug his playlist into the car and turn up the volume. "Nessun Dorma" of Sarah Brightman filled the hangar. Great, Weir thought, so that's where Atlantis got her taste in music. They should have known!

And the car didn't help, either. She knew McKay hadn't touched anything, so it had to be the car that caused its windows to darken until she could not see McKay anymore. Then the car spoke.

"Doctor Weir, I do believe Doctor McKay doesn't want to talk to you right now. Please leave."

"Rodney!" she nearly yelled. But the volume was turned up until it was unbearable.

She felt her self-control snap as her blood pressure rose. Fine! If that's the way he wanted it, she's quite willing to play dirty, as well.

She tapped her earpiece. "Weir to Daedalus, I'm ready to return now."

######

As she entered the bridge she noticed SGA-1 sitting to one side, looking a bit smug. Well, actually, John looked smug, Teyla looked like she was trying not to look smug and Ronon was grinning that infuriating Ronon-grin.

"I thought you were bringing McKay with you," John said.

"Colonel, I'm sure Doctor Weir did her best," Teyla added to the pot.

Elisabeth ignored them and turned to Caldwell. "Beam him up here!" She turned to the Atlantis team and grinned. "Beaming technology: because sometimes diplomacy fails."

Caldwell never grinned, so with his normal frown he said: "Caldwell to Novak. Please ask Hermiod to beam Doctor McKay to the bridge."

"Yes sir," the timid woman replied.

Anxiously the people on the bridge waited. And waited. And waited. After a few minutes Novak's timid voice came back to them:

"Colonel, Hermiod says he can't get a lock on Doctor McKay. Something on the planet is interfering with the signal."

"I bet it's that damn car," Weir nearly growled. Only years of experience kept her from grinding her teeth together.

"Car? What car?" Caldwell asked.

Weir sighed. How to explain? But then again, these were people who daily dealt with Stargates, semi-sentient cities and life-sucking aliens. If anyone was to believe her, it would be them.

"There is a car with a kind of AI with Rodney. Actually, he's hiding in the car right now."

"Can't you cut through the interference?" Caldwell asked into his earpiece.

"No sir," Novak answered.

Ronon suddenly stood up. "Why not just beam the whole car up here?"

"The bridge is too small," Caldwell said, but Weir could see the answer dawning on the bald man the moment the words left his mouth. But Ronon took the opportunity to make Caldwell's life just that litte bit worse:

"You've got cargo-holds, don't you?"

Caldwell ignored him and simply told Novak to ask Hermiod to beam the car to cargo-hold 1. Ronon looked at John, who looked at Teyla. Seconds later the three of them were running down the corridor. Weir followed shortly on their heels.

By the time the four of them got to the cargo-hold, the black car was already parked right in the middle of it. From it Rodney's voice came; complaining.

"Now this is not playing fair!"

"Doctor McKay," the car answered, "you did ignore the lady." A moment or two passed. "Doctor, according to my sensors we're no longer on the planet."

"Of course not," Rodney grumbled. "This is apparently what friends do."

Just then Caldwell entered the room. Stately he walked over to the car and looked at it. "Welcome to the Daedalus," he said. Then he grinned a little. "Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare to leave for the Pegasus Galaxy." He tapped his ear. "Novak, please ask Hermiod to jump to hyper-space."

Then the Colonel turned around and walked out, back to the bridge. Ronon was grinning from ear to ear. "So he does have a sense of humor, after all," he smiled.