Okay guys. As someone pointed out to me it's been 3 months since I updated. 3 MONTHS!?! I didn't even see the time go. Exams are such bitches! What the fudge am I going to do when I go to university and get ACTUAL work D: anyways, I feel a repeating pattern every time I upload of 'OMG I'm so laaaaate posting! ' and another pattern of every time my reviews gets to a number that ends in 0 i.e 40, 80, 90 I update!? Why is this? I don't know. I think my strange subconscious love of numbers that look nice. Somewhere deep within my brain I would rather have 100 reviews than 109 because of the way it looks. But anyways, enjoy.
"God, you're so useless, you know that!"
"Sorry" Spain muttered.
"I can't believe you got your self fired! How are we supposed to be together when you're an idiot and mess up everything!?"
"Sorry"
"What are we going to do? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
"Err... well. Maybe we could go away and you could live with me on my tomato farm."
"NO! You are not getting a fucking tomato farm! How many times do I have to tell you this!?"
"Aawww... but it would be great! I know a cute little house with tomatos out the front and we could wake up in the morning and pick them and then have a cute little tomato soup for dinner every night."
"No. Not in a million years. I'm staying at school! I would rather die than live in some little shit house with you. We've only just got together, how come you've already planned where we're going to live together?! Sheesh."
"Well... I've had a lot of time."
"WHAT!? That was a joke! You haven't actually planned everything out have you?"
"Well as I said. I had a lot of time to think about it."
"What, 5 minuets!? That not a long time!"
"What makes you think I started thinking about it 5 minutes ago?!"
"You... was thinking about it before we kissed?" Romano looked slightly shocked.
"Of course! Do you realise how much spare time I have on my hands? Most days I just sit alone in the medical room hoping someone will injure themselves so that I have something to do! Even when I worked as a cook or cleaner I had hours and hours loneliness! The only company I got was with your crazy attempts to fire me!"
"They weren't THAT crazy."
"You smuggled in 300 poisonous sea turtles and stuffed them into the kitchen cupboard so that you could tell Hungary that I was trying to poison the school food and kill everyone!"
"Oh please, that wasn't that bad."
"Anyway, as I was saying. When a person is forced into extreme isolation and boredom with only one person who pays attention to you, that person may start to want to see that one person more and more. Even, if it usually costs that person their job. Possibly what little sanity they had along with it." Spain held Romano's hand, but didn't quite look into his eyes.
"So then I started fantasising about... us. Which at first was a little weird because you're so young! But then I got used to the idea and planned out how we could be together, and live together, and get married together and sleep together and have children together! I still haven't worked out the whole children thing but I'm working on it."
"WHAT!? You've planned THAT far ahead! How did you know I even LIKED you!?"
"I didn't."
"And sex!? Are you serious!?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you're... YOU'RE INSANE!"
"I know." Spain smiled slyly, putting his armed around Romano. "Best to except what you are than live in denial, eh?"
"You're insane, you're insane, you're insane, you're insane..." he was immediately cut of when Spain pushed him to the floor and kissed him. Romano didn't stop him in the slightest. What Spain didn't realise was that instead of kissing he really should have been looking out for the smiling stalker with an axe hiding behind a hedge to his left.
Denmark was a happy kind of guy. The relaxed cool one in a group of friends who often makes jokes and never frowns. He most certainly didn't get angry. Oh no! Not Denmark, never Denmark! He was just a nice kindly boy who wouldn't hurt a fly. Or so Norway had been told by many, many people. But everything Norway had believed about Denmark up to this moment had changed.
"MY AXE! MY BEAUTIFUL AXE! WHERE ARE YOU MY LOVE!? WHERE ARE YOU!?" Denmark ran around frantically, a manic look on his face. The second Denmark walked in his room and saw his axe wasn't on the wall any more, he flipped. He checked on the floor, under the bed, in the cupboard, on his desk, in the sink and in his jar of pickles.
It wasn't there.
That was when Norway walked in.
"WHERE DID YOU PUT MY AXE YOU EVIL LITTLE BASTARD!" Denmark walked up to him and shook him violently.
"What axe?"
"Oh don't play stupid with me; I know that you took it to get revenge on me! Now give it back!"
"I haven't got your axe. I didn't even know you had an axe." He replied defensively.
"GIVE IT BACK!"
"I don't have it!" Norway was starting to lose his cool. Denmark pushed him against the wall.
"GIVE IT TO ME!"
"I DON'T HAVE IT!" Norway had never been more scared in his life. Who knew Denmark had an angry side? It was a strange and foreign concept to him. In his mind Denmark was just really stupid and annoying. But this other side of Denmark was so... different. And although Norway was scared out of his life he found something inside him intrigued with this new Denmark.
"Fine, if you don't have it then someone else must have stolen it! MOVE!" Denmark roughly shoved him out of the way and ran out the door. It took a lot to make Norway yell or feel any emotion at all. And Denmark was the first person to do both.
"I think I love him."
"HELLO SPAIN~" Russia called out, stepping out from behind the bushes, swinging the axe over his head.
"Shit!" Spain yelled rolling away from the axe, dragging Romano with him.
"Do you know how difficult it is to get stains out of jackets and scarves? It's very difficult, da. And even if you wash them OVER." Russia pulled the axe out of the ground and went for Spain's face. Spain swore again and rolled out of the way. "And OVER." This time the axe narrowly avoided his face. "And OVER!" Spain tried to stand up but Russia pushed him to the floor again, holding him down with his foot. "It will still be tinted with the dirt that was on it. Why don't I show you how difficult it is? Let's see if you can get the blood stains out of your clothes once I'm done with you!" Russia raised the axe above his head and Spain closed his eyes. Spain didn't see what happened next, but after he had his eyes closed for 30 seconds and realised he wasn't dead yet and opened them. Romano was on Russia's shoulders, strangling Russia with his scarf. Russia was desperately trying to both stop himself being strangled and hit Romano with the axe.
"Romano!" Spain sprung up to try and help Romano but fell back when they staggered into him. All three of them lay groaning on the floor, the axe thrown across the grass into the bushes Russia had just been hiding in. Russia was the first to get up, practically glowing with anger.
"Fine, if that's the way it's going to be then I shall, what is the saying, hit two birds with one stone?" Romano lay unconscious on the ground. Spain concluded that Romano had hit his head when he fell because of the throbbing pain in his own jaw. Russia grabbed Romano and slung him over his shoulder.
"I see you seem to care very much for your little comrade here. Well, say you're goodbyes because you're never going to see him again!" he giggled "That way I get my revenge on him and you at the same time! Oh, revenge is so FUN!"
"Okay guys; let's just get this lesson over with." Turkey groaned from the back of the room. Most of the students weren't listening as nobody ever listened last lesson. Not to mention, everyone but Poland thought that drama was a useless lesson.
"I have a task for you all to do. Get in pairs." The class ignored him, "I SAID GET IN PAIRS YOU LITTLE BRATS!" the class groaned and begrudgingly started getting into pairs. "Now I want you all to practice your acting skills. Pretend to be your partner. Get into their mind and become them, or whatever it is you're supposed to do. I hate drama."
"Come on England, let's go!" France grabbed England's arm and dragged him to his table. England made a longing look in Japan's direction, then followed France.
"You know, you're not the only person I can ever work with. I should be allowed to choose."
"Oui, but no one else would work with me! You're the only person who can even contemplate working with me, and I don't want to be stuck with the leftovers." France pointed to Prussia.
"Oi, I'm not leftovers! It's just that no one can handle my awesome!"
"Fine. But next time I'm not working with you." England said grumpily. America and Canada paired together almost instantly. China reluctantly was paired with Korea and Italy and Germany went together to the corner of the room, leaving Japan alone.
"Errr... Sir, I haven't got a partner." Japan said to Turkey when he looked around the room and noticed everyone has already chosen partners.
"Oh, then go with the leftover." He pointed to Prussia.
"I'm not a leftover!"
"Is there anyone else?" Japan said worriedly. He'd already experienced enough Prussia to last him a life time.
"Nope. Now everyone, start!"
France grinned at England, ruffling up his own perfect hair then pretending to look annoyed.
"I'm England. I'm boring with no fashion sense whatsoever. I get angry with people for no reason and I hate everything in the world apart from tea and embroidery. I'm going to go be grumpy in this corner now and complain about how much I hate everything." France sat in the corner looking sour.
"I'm France!" England tried to ignore France "I'm a shallow, annoying pervert. I'll flirt with anything with a pulse that walks! In fact, it doesn't even have to be able to walk, it can be unconscious! Actually, It doesn't even need a pulse; it can be an inanimate object! Oh chair," England grabbed his chair and started rubbing himself against it "Oh yes, chair. YES! You're so beautiful, won't you fuck with me?! YES!"
France's ears started turning red. "I'm so prude I've never been laid in my life! I'm a complete an utter virgin and I'm never going to laid because I'm so UGLY and GRUMPY. But that doesn't mean I don't want sex, because I have fantasy's every night of America and all the things we could do to each other!""
"WHAT!?" England hit France around the side of the head. On the other side of the room America and Canada's role play was going just as bad. America was already hiding under a sheet pretending to be invisible while Canada ranted about how annoying, loud, obnoxious, carless and irritating he was.
"I'm Korea and I invented role play, da zee! I also invented electricity, ketchup, writing, socks and the whole of humanity! Aru. I mean, da zee.
"I'm china and I want Korea to touch my breasts!"
"I'm Japan and I am REALLY BORING and no way an awesome enough partner for the amazing Prussia!"
"Erm... I'm Prussia? And I'm... awesome?"
"And don't you forget it!"
"I'm Lithuania. I'm, like totally, the most unfashionable person on the planet. Who worries WAY too much."
"I'm Poland, the worst friend in the history of friends, who puts Lithuania in the most awful and troublesome situations and only thinks of himself. That is if I am a he, because I wear skirts. LIKE TOTALLY OH MY GOD! FABULOUS!"
"Errr.. .pasta? vee? Wait, what does 'vee' even mean. This assignment is pointless"
"Ah, well my name is Germany and I'm reaaaaly strict but also nice at the same time. I like... umm. I don't know I don't really talk much. Maybe I should try be quiet to pretend to be you Germany? What do you think? Ah, Germany. Germany! Have you seen my brother anywhere?"
"Pasta." Germany said monotonously.
___
So... does anyone want to be my beta? I've had a few offers and I think I REALLY need one. If you do just send me a note saying you want to do it and I'll send you my email address. If you except then you should edit the first chapters I've done and send them to me so I can put them on the real thing. As some people have noticed I have a real problem with literature and writing. I've got better, but it still pretty bad :(. I would be really thankful if one of you wanted to do it!
Hmmm... I feel the urge to update all of my stories suddenly. Anyway, I would love it if you reviewed because I'm nearly at the 100 mark now and It would make my WORLD if I got 1 of my fan fictions to 100 reviews. That would just be ... GAH! Unbelievable! In fact, if you're the 95th -100th reviewer you can each have 1 request for what you want in the next chapter. Except, of course, explicit stuff. I really wish I could write it but I just get all scared! And if you don't get into the 95-100 mark then.... ummmm... how about an extra special cookie FILLED WITH LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!!!
I'll just shut up now :D