Chapter 2: Why You Don't Eat Mysteriously Floating Cupcakes

She didn't know what she was thinking when she suggested it. She felt cruel and heartless and just plain horrible! She could just feel the pain they were going through. But regardless of her good conscience, Hermione couldn't help but smile in accomplishment as Crabbe and Goyle clutched their stomachs and rear ends on the floor, their faces growing a deeper red as their bodies worked against them.

Turning away from the scene, she practically skipped back unseen to Gryffindor common room pushing away any guilt she had for preventing the two Slytherins from being able to go to the bathroom despite the churning of their stomachs. Nasty business, muggle laxatives.

Surely she would not want to be in their place, but to be honest, they deserved it. They deserved every minute of pain that they were in for picking on the wrong people. The back of her hand itched in reminder.

Yes, they definitely deserved it.

Three nights before…

Over a week had passed since Hermione agreed to join forces with the twins. They had only met once due to both Hermione's prefect schedule and the twins' already planned week of pranks.

It was a strange sight indeed for the Gryffindor common room when the resident bookworm and twin pranksters were seated together, heads bent together as they whispered conspiratorially. Not many people knew what exactly would come of this, but so long as their plans didn't target them they had no problems with the trio.

By that time of the year, the people who hadn't known Hermione now knew she wouldn't pull pranks just for the fun of it like the twins. No, she always had a plan, an agenda that was always within sound reason, so they weren't as worried. She wouldn't lash out at one of her fellow Gryffindors unless it happened to be a lanky red head whose name was Ronald Weasley. Then again, he was just a special case.

Their first meeting dealt with basic information mostly to make sure she knew what exactly she was getting herself into. Hermione ended up even signing a paper binding her to her promises.

During their second meeting which followed a few days later they began to get down into brainstorming ideas ranging from harmless hexes to full out fireworks in the pants. It was halfway through said meeting when a second year girl burst into the common room, robes askew and eyes wide in panic.

Switching into prefect mode, Hermione jumped out her seat as the second year sought her out. The common room fell into a hushed silence as the frazzled girl hurriedly rushed over to Hermione and the twins.

"H-H-Hermione!" the girl cried out, tears falling down as she tried to catch her breath.

"What's wrong?" Hermione placed a soothing hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Katie! It's Katie! Those Slytherin boys… We were just walking back from the library and these two big boys came and cornered us!" she managed to get out.

"Where is she? What'd they do?" Hermione felt the twins stand behind her as did many of the other protective Gryffindors around her.

"They swatted our books out of our hands and stomped on them. When we tried to pick them up, they grabbed our hair. I managed to kick one of them in the gut and I got away, but Katie, she's-"

"Where is she, Laura?" Hermione pressed her urgently.

"Fourth floor near the painting of Barnabus the Great. She's-" She didn't stay to hear the rest as she took off running toward the fourth floor, footsteps following behind her. She didn't need to see who it was, just as long as she got to the fourth floor. The poor girl was all by herself with two Slytherins!

As she reached the fourth floor and turned down the corridor holding the painting of Barnabus the Great, Hermione heard a muffled scream. She whipped her wand out in front of her as she came upon two great figures looming over a small struggling body.

"Leave her alone!" Hermione yelled furiously.

They didn't pay any attention to her as they took their pastries and promptly smashed it into the girl's face and hair. Katie attempted to lash out and push them away but they were too strong and snickered at her weak attempts.

"I mean it! Or so help me I'll hex the both of you to hell and back!" The two Slytherins froze and turned to face her, smug smirks plastered on their chubby faces.

"Says who? You?" Crabbe sneered. Her grip tightened on her wand. Faintly she heard the arrival of other people behind her.

"Get away from her," Fred's deep voice demanded as he and George aimed their wands at the Slytherins. Hearing Fred's tone sent a strange shiver up Hermione's spine. She had never heard him or George sound so threatening and stern. Usually they were just carefree and full of jokes even when angry.

"Called for backup, eh mudblood?"

Hermione felt her face heat up in anger as she moved to hex the two boys. Before she or anyone could say anything, however, a high pitched voice intervened. "Hem. Hem." Hermione felt a chill of disgust as she laid her eyes on Dolores Umbridge in all her pink suit glory.

"Is there a problem here?" Professor Umbridge glanced at the wands now held at their sides. "I do believe fighting in the corridors is strictly against school policy. As prefect, I would have expected you to know that, Miss Granger." She smiled sweetly. "No matter, three nights of detention will fix that, oughtn't it? Oh, and two nights for you two boys as well. As Headmistress I cannot condone such behavior and against fellow students no less! " She tutted as her smile widened to show her short pointed teeth.

"But Professor! Crabbe, Goyle- they-" Hermione began.

"-were simply helping this poor girl back to her common room, isn't that correct Mr. Goyle? Mr. Crabbe?" Professor Umbridge looked around the Gryffindors to where the two Slytherins were standing positively gleeful.

"Yes, Headmistress! That's exactly what we were doing." Rage filled the Gryffindors at Goyle's blatant lie. Professor Umbridge nodded in acceptance before glancing back at the Gryffindors before her.

"You see? As part of the Inquisitorial Squad, they were simply doing their duties to the school. You best take a page from their books and learn not to break school policy. Now, I expect all of you in my office tomorrow right after classes finish." Professor Umbridge finished sweetly after gesturing to Hermione, Fred, and George. They watched in stony silence as the clicking of Professor Umbridge's heels disappeared down the hall.

From behind, Crabbe and Goyle shouldered past the three Gryffindors, purposely knocking into Hermione's shoulders. "Mudblood," Goyle sneered as he and Crabbe walked away chuckling at the Gryffindor's misfortune.

George and Fred gripped their wands ready to blast the two Slytherins, but Hermione placed a hand on each of their arms. At their questioning gazes, she shook her head before turning to the second year girl who still lay sniffling on the floor behind them.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked as she bent to help the girl up. Katie was shaking like a leaf when Hermione took her into her arms. "It's okay, we're here now. We're going to bring you back to Gryffindor okay? It's okay, Katie. Scourgify." The mess that Crabbe and Goyle left on Katie's face and hair disappeared. Fred and George flanked the two girls protectively as they made their way back up to the seventh floor.

"Ya, it's okay. You've got us strong-" Fred piped up from the right.

"Courageous-" George continued.

"Handsome men now to defend you from those obese snakes."

"We won't let them eat you beautiful girls up." George winked at the little girl who managed a smile and hid further into Hermione's arms.

The walk back to Gryffindor was filled with the twins telling the girls jokes which helped the little second year calm down. By the time they reached the portrait everyone watched as Laura exclaimed and rushed over to the entering group. Laura quickly hugged Katie and grabbed her hand.

Seeing that the girl was in good hands, the Gryffindors all went back to their business. Before she was led upstairs, Katie glanced back at Hermione and the twins. "Thank you." She managed a smile at Hermione and blushed as she gained the confidence to look up at the twins.

"Looks like someone has a crush," Hermione noted as she turned toward the twins. George and Fred grinned.

"Well, it is us, Weasley twins." George winked.

"Who could resist us?" Fred flashed a handsome smile as she rolled her eyes in hopelessness.

"Your abundance of humility astounds me."

"It's our middle name!" they replied simultaneously earning a snort from the bushy haired girl.

"Hermione! Fred, George!" Harry called over from his seat by the fire. The three moved over to sit with the group consisting of Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Neville. "What happened? We were going to follow, but Fred and George made us stay behind."

Hermione sighed unhappily, but it was George who replied. "Umbridge gave us detention."

"What!" the group exclaimed earning looks from the people around them.

"By the time we reached Katie, Crabbe and Goyle were rubbing their desserts into her face and hair, but she was kicking all around. I told them to stop, but they didn't pay attention to her, so Fred stepped in. Crabbe called me a mudblood." She spat the derogatory word out. The group's faces including her own twisted into disgust and anger at the word. "Yes, well after calling me that we were all ready to hex the pants off them, but then Umbridge appeared and said that Crabbe and Goyle were doing their duty to the school helping Katie to her common room and we were the ones starting a fight in the corridors. She even gave us detention to teach us a lesson!"

"That woman's seriously off her bloody rocker!" Ron exclaimed.

"Ron! Language!" Hermione scolded.

"Sorry, 'Mione, but it's true. She is off her bloody rocker. She even insulted your prefect status," Fred replied.

"She what?" Ginny piped up from her spot on the floor.

"It's true! Said Hermione should know that fighting in the hallways is against school policy and as prefect she should know that. Gave her three detentions instead."

Harry's eyebrows furrowed in worry knowing the pain of three consecutive detentions. "And what did you two get? Did the girl get detention as well?"

"No, she didn't get detention. As for Fred and George, they got two nights. As prefect she's treating me worse." Hermione sighed miserably. To her surprise, Fred placed his hand on hers and squeezed it gently. She smiled at him when a loud thump brought her attention to the other side.

"That's it! I've had it!" Neville exclaimed as he sat up straight surprising the whole group with his outburst. "She's gone way too far! I say we mutiny!"

"Yeah!" Harry and Ron yelled in agreement.

"I agree!" Ginny piped up. Hermione, Fred, and George all shared knowing looks.

George smiled secretively at the group. "Oh, just you wait. Payback is certainly on its way."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked in confusion.

"Just don't worry about it. It's being dealt with. By the time we get through with her and the Inquisitorial Squad, they won't think twice about messing with us. Now, if you don't mind, we have pranks to plan!" George, Fred, and Hermione all stood up to move to the twins' usual corner.

"What? Hermione! Are you in on this too? Are you insane going off with the twins? And since when do you hang out with them?"

"Since now, Ronald. Not that it's any of your business who I hang out with, but is it so hard to believe I am willingly spending my time with the twins? Honestly, you're not the boss of me." Hermione huffed before taking a seat with the twins. The group sat in awe as Hermione leaned her head in to whisper with the twins.

Ignoring the stares she was receiving, Hermione grinned mischievously at the identical looks of awe in front of her. "I have a plan."

…..

It took three days to plan everything and gather their supplies, but they had the plan memorized to the minutest detail. Since it was Hermione's plan and her first prank, Fred and George gave her the reigns for this one. In all honesty, they were curious to see how their little bookworm fared in her first real prank.

Classes finished early on the third day. Instead of being able to enjoy the rest of the day, however, Hermione found herself sitting in Umbridge's office writing I must not use my wand against another student until her hand was raw and bleeding from the use of the special quills for the third day in a row.

By the time she got out, it was past dinnertime and close to the designated prank time. Thankfully Fred was waiting for her with their special salve to dull and heal some of the pain before she went to finish last minute details. George was already off setting up.

At eight o'clock, Hermione watched as Crabbe and Goyle came around the corner like clockwork. Usually after dinner they made their way down to the kitchens to get more desserts to stuff their faces with and that night they didn't disappoint her. Half an hour later, she watched them return, goblet of juice in one hand and pile of pastries in the other.

Hidden under Harry's invisibility cloak, Hermione inched her way toward the unsuspecting Slytherins. A timed crash from behind them jolted the boys thus sending their pastries flying onto the floor.

"What was that?" Crabbe asked dumbly.

"Don't know," Goyle grunted as he glanced behind him before leaning down to pick up his fallen pastries. He placed his goblet off to the side. Crabbe followed suit.

"Good thing we got those stupid house elves, eh Goyle?" Hermione froze at Crabbe's comment.

"Yeah, only thing they're good for- taking orders from us purebloods." The two snorted out laughs.

Hermione saw red. She wanted to hex the boys for their comments, but instead took the opportunity of their distraction to quickly pour the liquid version of the Weasley twins' U-No-Poo into their pumpkin juice. Duty accomplished, Hermione hurried away from them and watched them walk further down the hallway. With a swish and flick of her wand, she levitated two cupcakes into the air.

In their gluttony, the fact that there were two mysteriously floating cupcakes for the second time in their years at Hogwarts did not strike them as odd. Hermione watched in satisfaction as Crabbe and Goyle greedily bit into the baked goods before taking a large swig of their pumpkin juice.

Slowly their satisfied smiles dissolved into frowns as they glanced at each other then glanced down at their suddenly gurgling stomachs. Groaning, they bent over as sharp pains filled their stomachs. Their goblets and armful of pastries crashed onto the floor.

They quickly ran to the nearest bathroom and cried out painfully on top of the toilet seats when their bodies would not allow them to defecate.

Hermione watched from the safety of the cloak as they stumbled miserably out of the bathroom, clutching their stomachs in utter pain.

Present time…

Thinking back to their comments on house elves, and the reason behind the distinct ache of her hand from Umbridge's detentions, Hermione dispelled any pity she had for the two Slytherins. They deserved the cupcakes she laced with muggle laxative and the U-No-Poo she poured into their pumpkin juice.

Really, if anything they did it to themselves. Who eats two randomly levitating cupcakes for the second time in a row? Honestly, they were thicker than a dragon's hide. And dragon's hide was known to be one of the thickest hides in the world!

She shook her head at their stupidity, but continued smiling as she took off the cloak and entered the hallway leading to the Gryffindor portrait. As she walked through, she caught the twins' eye and gave them a quick nod and smile before heading up the boy's dormitory stairs.

"Oi! Something's up with Crabbe and Goyle! I think they're in pain or something! They keep grabbing their arses and rolling around on the floor! Come on!" She heard Dean Thomas' voice shout from below before she closed the door to the empty fifth year boys' room behind her. Hermione sighed happily as she returned the cloak to its spot in Harry's trunk.

Yes, revenge was sweet.

A/N: Haha I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter! It was a little longer than I planned, but oh well. Thank you to those who reviewed and favorited/alerted my story! So, what do you think so far? Please review!