*~I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT....I OWN 'La Pomme D'Armor'~*
*~THANK YOU for the reviews!!~*
*Bella*
"I just can't believe that your father would do that!"
Edward had been trying to get his head around my explanation as we walked around the town square once again – I had been in the hospital for hours and needed the break away from the smell and the nerves that mum may or may not wake up at any given time.
"It's my dad...He has always been capable of these things I just never really understood the extent"
Having Edward hack his brains made me realise that I had not acted strange because I was also confused – thank god that I had not imagined the confusion and also hatred of this whole new situation...Edward and I sat down on the fountain's edge the memories of our first night in France together coming back to me...Of course, this time there were no iced buns or made wishes. Having Edward know about everything made me feel so much better, I had thought that this whole thing was so misunderstanding in my own head but he also seemed stumped by it, too.
"I am so sorry to hear that these things have happened, Bella...I mean, my parents were the best in the world – like all children say at some point but parents aren't supposed to do things like that...It's against their roles"
"My dad has never been one for the father-role....Looking back, he was hardly there...My mum had made the excuse that he had a demanding job...But it was only well paid – it was hardly demanding for him"
"Yeah...Your mum must have hated being with him without you around"
"I am sorry....Can we not talk about my dad, anymore...He has a way of putting a downer on things without physically being here...How has your time, been?"
"Same as usual...Nothing new"
"How's Alice?"
"Fine...Last time I saw her"
"Has she gone back home?"
"Yeah"
"Damn...I was hoping to see her again...Before, everything happened"
"You don't have to explain anything to her.....She understands, Bella"
"That's the thing...You say you all understand but do you, really?"
"We can't relate...But we can understand and I promise you, we do"
"Oh Edward I never thought that I could miss someone so much as I did you...I swear there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you...Does that sound creepy?"
"Of course not...I am flattered"
"Expanding the ego even more, huh?"
"What makes you think that I have an ego?"
"Sorry...I guess it's the girl on guy thing"
"Right...Well, you still have a lot to learn about me....I missed you like hell"
"That means a lot...I was so scared about coming back here – with Carlisle and everything-"
"Bella....There's something that I should show you...I was going to wait until your mum recovered but-"
"What is it, Edward?"
"Come with me"
I didn't like it when Edward went mysterious and secretive on me...Like normal situations where individuals were kept out of the loop of things usually causing nervousness...Edward had also taken my hand in his which was something that we have never done in all the time that we have known each other...It was almost as if holding my hand was going to be a source of comfort for what's to come...I can't complain too much about it, though because with Edward...I was always safe – as corny as it may sound.
He walked fast down to where the direction to 'Beau Lace' was...I stopped pulling him back when I realised where he was probably going to take me. "No, Edward you can't!"
"Bella, it's okay"
"No the reason I left was because I wanted to protect you...As well as myself...We can't go back in there...I can't face it!"
"Bella-"
"I can't believe you are doing this to me!" I spun around on my heel and walked away from him...I got to around my seventh step when a huge grip around my waist stopped me again...I struggled against Edward's chest on my back. "Let me go...I don't want to go back there...You said that you wanted to take care of me and if this is what you do to care then I don't want it anymore!" I was yelling but tears were falling down my face.
"Please, stop struggling and let me explain"
"You are not the person I thought you were...Why do people have to show their true colours to me too late!"
"Listen!" He yelled and spun me around...I was facing him...His jaw was clenched, his eyes searing with anger in the light...I buckled and bit my lip silencing myself. "Beau Lace has shut down"
"What?" the shape of an 'o' was uncontrollable across my mouth in that moment...How had it been closed down...Did that mean that Carlisle isn't here anymore?!
"I promise that no one will hurt you, Bella...Please come with me...It is better to show it to you rather than explain"
I nodded needing to know what he was going on about more than having to worry about where we were actually going...He took my hand again and kept me at a close distance to his side as friendly possible...In the distance on the street where the nightclub was there was a circle of colours...As Edward and I got closer and closer it turned into flowers...With the words 'rest in peace' on a banner in the middle of it. Had Carlisle died?!
"I don't understand" I choked out standing still beside Edward as we saw a huge section of the pavement had been taken up with flowers...I didn't know what to think but there was panic going around my system.
"Excuse me, are you called Bella?" A young woman had come up to Edward and I from the opposite side of the road...I didn't recognise her or know of her, seeing as she knew me I was battering my brains for a few moments trying to tell myself that I should know her as well.
"I am Bella...Do I know you?" I felt stupid asking her if I knew her because if I did know her I was going to look like a fool because of un-recognition.
"No...I am sorry...I remember you from the club...Lucy asked me to give this to you" she buried around in her pocket, without warning I could feel my hand gripping Edward's tighter in my nausea of what the paper would have on it. Why would Lucy give me a note? Was it a note from Carlisle?
"Thank you" I managed to squeak taking the paper from her, she smiled and walked away...I wanted so much in that moment of confusion to go after her and ask her what was going on with all the flowers and why Lucy had sent me a note...I glanced up at Edward who was expressionless his eyes locked on the flowers.
I released his hand and opened up the piece of paper with my shaky hands...There was something that Edward knew about that he wasn't telling me about...I could feel it in my waters.
Bella
I hardly know what to write in this, when you get given this I will either be sitting with you in that gorgeous little cafe or standing next to you in the club, or I will be thousands of miles away...No measurement needed....Perhaps this letter may be my last chance to explain things about me that no one else has ever known about...I trust you enough to not let anyone else see it.
What I failed to mention on your first night was my sole reason for working in the place which you had hated instantly....In the beginning of my work for Carlisle...I had slowly fallen in love with him...Not in love with him because of the money I was going to earn but the way that a woman falls in love with a man. Maybe it was stupid...Maybe it was natural...I will never know.
Carlisle was never going to return my feelings as much as my heart desired and wanted him to reciprocate the same feelings for me...Working with him was hard something that I got on with day after day because the money that I was getting had been more than I had ever had in my life...Money isn't everything and it became obvious after my first year.
I never told anyone else this...Not even Carlisle because let's face it...He was never the person to have strong feelings for only one woman when he was surrounded by hundreds every night throwing themselves at him...It broke my heart. I got pregnant – he has never known that he has a son...I wanted the baby because children were always on my future agenda and well...With the work, I couldn't look after him. I named him Jasper....Jasper Oliver Cullen after his father wanting to keep a part of Carlisle in my life, somehow. My sister has looked after him since he was near to one years old and he will be nearly four now this year...I watched my son call his Aunt 'mum'...Never being able to say anything was harder than anything I had ever done..Even a whole week of nights in 'Beau Lace' – I hope that one day my sister can tell him when he is old enough that his mum loved him...He was always loved and I think about him every moment of every day. I let him down and I will always regret it.
As for the rest it is not important...I stayed at the club because my feelings for Carlisle never ceased and yes, it was stupid but it is true what they say 'you can never help who you fall for'. Watching you suffer at your last night was enough to make me realise that he can no longer treat people like this – my feelings were no longer important. You taught me so much, Bella...The strength in you allowed me to find strength in myself and this is why I am now going to stop it....Or I will die trying.
A lot of women are going to hate me...If I have one last thing to say to you, Bella....It's this:
Never be afraid to love someone...Take risks and tell them instead of wondering 'what if' and having regrets for the rest of your life...You have a person in your life who cares about you and I am not sure that he knows how much at the moment....But you are loved and if you ever come back to France...I want you to reach out for Edward because he will always be there to catch you when you fall. The majority of young women would give an arm and a leg to have someone like that in your life.
Live, love and be successful...I am honoured to have known you as a friend Bella, I hope when you come back soon we can get in touch again.
Lucy
X
The tears from my eyes had fallen onto the piece of paper...Smudging the ink off of a sentence...I had no idea why I was crying because it was only a letter...But the sudden sadness I felt for Lucy and her situation in life made me wonder that I was actually lucky to have people that cared about me...Was that wrong?
"Where is Lucy?" I stammered keeping the letter open in my hands but directing my question to Edward.
"She died, Bella"
"What?"
"Carlisle shot her...But she had put a hidden camera in his office and the police charged him with murder and sex offences"
Oh my God!!
I turned on my heel and ran away from the flower site now that I knew who they were for...I crouched down and vomited violently in a nearby shrubs...Falling onto my knees and wrapping my arms around my stomach...The sight of it had made me cry but the ache in my heart was much harder to deal with. Lucy had done that because of me, why had she done that?!
As I finished...I let out the sobs from my stomach...Crying for her, crying for me...Crying for the overall injustice that she was going to face...The last letter that she wrote to me beside me lying on the road.
Arms wrapped around my chest but I continued to cry...Not wanting to move or say anything but cry....Cry and cry even more.
"I am sorry, Bella" Edward soothed...I wiped my nose with my fingers and pushed my weight back so I was sitting on my bottom, my legs sprawled out on the road...Edward had moved back with me but his arms never once let go of me.
Lucy was right....Edward cared about me...Now, after all that has happened...I cared about him, too more than I had ever done during my time in this country...I had changed because of him, he had turned me into a better person..The kind of person that appreciates all that she has and has found her inner strength..He made me feel alive.
"Bella...Are you alright?" Edward asked as he ran his hands through my hair taking it away from my face as I sat there, lifeless...Broken...I had never felt so drained in my life, from all the crying...Lucy had died...The friend that I had been pleased to meet had died doing something that I should have plucked up the courage to do.
"Why?" I choked out...Not wanting to make it sound like a question to him, but to the world...To the high heavens and the holders of fate...Was this all a learning curve for me, this pain and hurt?
"You are so strong, Bella...I wish to God that it was me in your place" Edward was trying to make me feel better as always.
"It's not though, is it...I should just go back home...When my mum's better, we can both go and stay with my Aunt or something"
"Don't run away again, Bella"
"I have to...Everyone must know my name...Does everyone know what Lucy did...If I wasn't so busy complaining about his treatment of women then this would never of happened and she may still be alive"
"Stop talking like that, Bella...You have to stop blaming yourself and stop worrying about what others think about you."
"Oh God what is the matter with me?!"
"Nothing-" Edward barked lifting me up to my feet from behind and grasping my shoulders as he walked around to face me "you are not to blame for any of this, for your father, Lucy...No one blames you...If you keep doing this..You are going to make yourself ill"
"My mum is already ill because of me so it won't make that much of a difference"
"What happened to the Bella that I met on my first night here, full of jokes and laughter...There is too much sadness in your eyes, Bella and you have no idea how much I want to help you?!"
"Why do you want to help me?"
"Because I do...You're my friend"
"I am not worth it!"
"You are!" he was yelling now but I wasn't going to back down.
"If there was some way that I can erase everything and go back to normal then I would...Edward...You are an amazing friend but I burden you"
"Rubbish!"
"I do!"
"Stop...Bella....Stop...This is driving me insane!"
"Why can it affect you so much?!"
"Because I love you, Bella!"
Edward had said those three words in such a rush that his hands instantly went to his mouth the moment he finished...I was silenced because good GOD I wasn't expecting that...Before I could register any common sense in my head Edward had turned and run away from me in the direction we had just come from. I was left standing in the road, alone.
Edward loved me!
How was that even possible?!
In the silence of the road around me...I decided to walk letting the words sink into my head...I cannot deny that I had been feeling more for Edward since being back here.
I can't deny that I appreciated him more than my own life.
From the first night he had been there for me from the word go...Maureen had loved him, his friends liked me and welcomed me in when they had the choice not to...Everything made sense. He had been my protector when he of course, also had the choice to stay with me or run away from me as fast as he could.
I had never met a guy who had been so nice to me...But I never imagined that he was in love with me.
As I approached the fountain, and after taking out a couple of mints from my trouser pockets and sucking on them...I remembered the wish that I had made with him...'I wish to love and be loved in return'....The last guy that I had been with had been loved by me, but had never loved me back....Edward was the one guy who had stood out from all the rest surrounding me as I was growing up...I was in doubt for a long time about whether a man like that does really exist...Now that he had confessed to me...It felt right.
It felt right because...There was no one else for me that would even be able to get close to how good Edward Masen is and how caring he is...No matter how long I lived, I could never walk away now and wonder whether he had found someone different...I had cared so much when I left here about what he thought of me...How could I have been such an idiot?! How could I not have seen how perfect he is for me and how much he could love me from his pure heart?!
The mere thought of him being with someone else made me sick...I have been so stupid for so long...That kiss on his birthday...The emotion behind it, HIS emotion...How can I have brushed that off and carried on living, he had kissed me first by surprise and then asked me for another one..That was not a kiss of friendship and I knew that deep down inside but acting oblivious to it seemed to make the awkwardness go away.
I know what I want...The person that I had spent two weeks thinking about and missing at every second...The person who I had rowed at and probably made angry since I met him by not being a good friend.
I rushed over to Sebastian's cafe...Finding it empty and he was left amusing himself behind the counter.
"Bella..How is your mum?" he was full of concern for me but I put up my hand.
"Seb...Can I have your key?"
"What?"
"I need your key...Please...There is something that I have to do and....It's been put off for too long"
"Of course, here" he gave me his key from his pocket and I blew him a kiss before running out of the cafe and toward the apartment...I didn't have any other thoughts or feelings other than needing to see Edward again, he never had to run away from me...I had run away from him and wrongly so but he should never feel afraid for having feelings for me, did he feel scared that I was never going to return them, or what I would think?
Edward had taken a risk by telling me, accident or not...It must have been burdening his heart.
As I stepped through the door, Jake was approaching me...He beamed and opened his mouth to speak when I put my index finger to my lips.
"Where's Edward?" I mouthed taking my finger away.
"Upstairs" Jake mouthed back pointing his finger upwards...I shot him an assuring smile and made my way slowly up the stairs...Upon reaching the landing, his door was ajar but the breeze from the open door heading out to the balcony was surrounding my upper body slightly...It didn't bother me.
On tiptoe, I stepped inside pushing the door gently ahead of me...I saw Edward sitting on the end of his bed, head in hands still and silent...I realised that it was stupid denying this anymore.
I was in love with him...I was stupid to have made myself think otherwise...He was handsome and beautiful in every way inside and out...He was perfect and the kind of person that I had always dreamed of spending my life with.
I swallowed the dryness in my throat, the last races of mint gone away before approaching him, he never lifted his head as I knelt down on my knees and gazed at him in the silence.
On instinct...I put my hands on his wrists and pulled his arms away from his face which he complied...The tears falling down his cheeks which I brushed away with my fingertips gently trailing them along his smooth and flawless skin.
"I'm sorry" I whispered cupping his face in my hands watching his eyes intently as they fell on mine.
He was about to open his mouth to reply but I brought my head forward and connected my lips to his softly as I could not wanting to startle him...He was still underneath my mouth his hands touched both of my shoulders as he pulled me away...I bit down on my lips as they were released from his mouth...Feeling instant rejection...The best thing to do now, was to explain...Even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, his lips were so soft and I thought there was never going to be anything better than his arms but I was gladly proved wrong...I had kissed him before but I had never concentrated on how nice it felt and I was the one back then to pull away.
"I am in love with you, too Edward....I'm sorry it's late" I whispered keeping the words simple so as not to run the risk of babbling.
Edward sighed and cupped my face in his hands...He kissed me forcefully tilting his head to the side and breathing in and out slowly...The wetness from his tears on my own skin...I melted into him moving my hands from his face to wrap around his neck...I needed to get closer to him...I wanted him, I desired him...I loved him.
I flinched as his tongue touched my lower lip, but knowing what he wanted to do...I opened my mouth up wider to welcome him, meshing my own tongue with us...The tingling sensations underneath my skin was amazing...He was amazing for making me feel this way – making my body mould to him and my mouth move passionately on his. Edward's mouth movements enhanced love and it made me melt even more...I never thought I could feel this way about anyone again, but Edward Masen was one of a kind.
Needing oxygen, I had to take my mouth on his even though I missed it instantly...Edward moved his lips to my forehead...On my nose and around my face...Moving swiftly to my jaw line and neck.
I pulled him closer and tilted my head back as his kissing trail made me gasp in need...He needed to know what he could do to me and I didn't care anymore if anyone could hear me...It was only us, us two in our own little world..Never mind anyone else.
"I'm sorry too...I love you more than my own life, Bella...There is no need to apologise to me...You're everything I want" he whispered against my skin as he placed small kisses along the definition of my collarbone.
"Tell me I am yours, Edward..Please?" I breathed out needing to know that I belonged to him because that is all I wanted.
Edward moved his mouth away and brought his eyes up to lock with mine. "Bella Swan...You have been mine since the night I met you"
The honesty and sincerity in his words made me smile...I kissed his forehead. "Am I yours?" he whispered.
"Absolutely" I replied connecting my lips with his...Standing up and sitting across his lap holding him close to me as we continued to worship each other with our mouths.
I was in love...And there was no other feeling like it in the entire world.
The best thing was, Edward Masen loved me...I was loved and I could never be happier.
Thanks for Reading!
*Samantha*
xoxoxox