The warmth of the sun was pleasant, but the stone beneath Squirrelpaw's pads burned.
Still, she forced herself to be still, to creep forward slowly and steadily. She was pressed close to a towering stone wall, moving closer and closer to her target. An emaciated looking mouse that was drinking from a filthy puddle. Only a few tail lengths away, it hadn't noticed her.
One more paw step-
The sound of a particularly loud twoleg monster roared out. Coming from the end of the alley, behind Squirrelpaw. The mouse's head jumped up and, spotting the predator, immediately began to scurry away.
"NO!" Squirrelpaw spat as she immediately gave chase, running to close the distance between herself and the mouse, only to be forced to skid to a halt as it leapt through the hole of a nearby, giant square shaped twoleg object. It wasn't as large as a twoleg den, and was used to store their crowfood based on the smell. Squirrelpaw hissed in frustration as she shot out a paw into the hole but it was too late, the mouse had escaped.
"Foxdung!" she grumbled, unable to help the way her fur bristled up, casting a furious glance back towards the end of the alleyway, spotting more twoleg monsters thundering along past, though none nearly as loud as that giant one had been.
Her frustration gave way to despondence, she sighed, her ears drooping as she turned away from the crowfood den. Heading towards the opposite end of the alleyway, away from the thunderpath and to where she knew her clanmates were waiting for her. She swallowed down the shame she felt, having been so sure she would return with something. Now she'd have to look Graystripe in the face and tell him she'd failed her clan.
She reached the end of the alleyway, cautiously poking her head out. She couldn't stop from wincing at the scorching sun high above. It made the world so painfully bright. The warriors usually went out to hunt at night, but Graystripe felt it was important Squirrelpaw knew the dangers that lurked during the day. Preparation for the eventual journey she and the rest of her clan would take.
Though in truth… Squirrelpaw sometimes suspected that was just an excuse. She'd been an apprentice for a full moon already. She knew to avoid the thunderpath, to stick to the alleyways, to never enter a twoleg yard without first checking for dogs, that fighting the massive masked creatures at night for prey simply wasn't worth it. She may not have caught anything today but she'd managed to catch a sparrow the day before and a rat the day before that. She knew how to hunt, there was just nothing to hunt in this place.
In her opinion, they should've left ages ago, she and Leafpaw could handle a journey by now surely. But whenever she brought the topic up to Graystripe he was always evasive, stating she just wasn't ready yet. Never answering the question of where they were going to go once Squirrelpaw and Leafpaw were 'ready'.
This twoleg path was a lot safer then the one Squirrelpaw had walked away from. This one had no thunderpath for starters. Just a regular stone path, with odd metal shapes that the twolegs often sat on. Small trees planted in patches of earth, all in a neat line down the path. Towering twoleg dens on either side of this artificial and grassless field.
RIght now however, it was empty, except for two cats straight ahead, sitting beneath one of those trees. Graystripe and Brambleclaw.
Squirrelpaw did not let her shame and frustration show. Keeping her head held high as she hurried over to her mentor and the infuriating cat beside him. She would've been fine with literally anyone else being on this patrol with them. She just knew he was going to say something, evident by the look on his face when he saw she had no catch.
"It got away?" Brambleclaw asked incredulously, whiskers twitching "It was such a scrawny thing, surely it couldn't have run that fast to escape."
Squirrelpaw couldn't help it, she bristled up "A monster scared it and escaped into one of those crowfood dens, i'd like to have seen you try and catch it," she huffed, he seemed amused by her frustrations.
"I would have caught it," he fired back "especially since the clan needs food right now. What was it you said? It doesn't matter if you pounce too soon, you'll just be fast enough to catch it before it runs off?"
Squirrelpaw grit her teeth, prepared to snap back, but Graystripe stepped up and in between them.
"Enough you two," he scolded, causing the shame in Squirrelpaw's pelt to burn even hotter "Catching prey in this place isn't easy, neither of us have caught anything after all," he reminded Brambleclaw "and Squirrelpaw is still learning."
Squirrelpaw was tempted to insist that she knew enough about how to catch prey, but because Graystripe was defending her, she refrained. Instead, shooting Brambeclaw a smug look from behind the gray cat, quick to let the expression drop when Graystripe sighed and sat back down, looking between them both.
"We need to catch something, Longtail is too thin and Brightheart…" Graystripe murmured, his ears flat.
The shame in Squirrelpaw grew once again. Unbeknownst to them all, Longtail had been skipping meals in order to ensure the rest of the clan was fed. As a result he'd gotten too thin and too weak to go hunting. Brightheart was the more confusing case, seemingly sick, yet nothing Cinderpelt did was helping. The white and ginger she-cat was hardly eating and was sleeping even less. Squirrelpaw had seen the way she often shook herself awake even though she was clearly exhausted. When she'd probed Graystripe for an answer, he told her it wasn't sickness in the way she was thinking. It was a different kind of sickness, one she wouldn't understand. The answer had only made her more frustrated.
"We should try that twoleg den Brakenfur saw the other day," Brambleclaw mewed "If what he said was true-"
Graystripe shook his head "No, it's too dangerous."
That caught Squirrelpaw's attention "What? What twoleg den?" she asked, Graystripe seemed to guess his apprentice would not drop the subject unless given an answer, because he sighed again.
"Brakenfur spotted a twoleg den with rabbits in their yard," he explained, the idea so ludicrous that it baffled Squirrelpaw, who tilted her head.
"Rabbits?"
"Yes, it seems they keep rabbits the same way they keep dogs or even cats," Brambeclaw was the one to jump in "And Brakenfur said this den had three whole rabbits, fat ones too. It would be enough to give the clan a feast."
"But," Graystripe's voice was tense "They have dogs too, when Brakenfur tried to get a closer look the twoleg spotted him and let the dogs out of the den, they chased him from the yard. It's too dangerous," his hard eyes turned to Brambleclaw "Especially for Squirrelpaw."
"Then let's just send her back to camp and get more warriors, with enough cats we can catch those rabbits and fend off a few dogs," Brambleclaw was insistent, his amber eyes nervously flicking up to the sun "But we need to hurry, because Thornclaw said the rabbits were back inside by the time he went out hunting after sunset."
"Wait!" Squirrelpaw bounced up to her paws "I can handle it! Let me help you, I can catch a rabbit and outrun a few dogs."
Graystripe grit his teeth, seemingly frustrated he was being ignored "Absolutely not-" he growled, looking at Brambleclaw "alright, we'll give it a try, but no heroics," he looked back at Squirrelpaw "Come on, we need to hurry and get you back to camp."
Squirrelpaw's tail bristled and lashed in frustration, why can't they just let her help? "No! By the time we do that it might already be sundown," she was so sick of them treating her so carefully. Wasn't the whole point of her training so she'd be ready to travel when the clan left to search for a new home? How was she supposed to be ready if Graystripe never let her do anything?
"I haven't trained you yet on how to fend off dogs, if you get caught-" Squirrelpaw didn't give him a chance to finish, butting in.
"Then I won't get caught, I'm fast enough!" she insisted, scowling when Brambleclaw just snorted.
"You weren't fast enough to catch a fleeing mouse," he reminded her, looking far too smug about it "You're not going to be fast enough to outrun a dog."
Squirrelpaw couldn't swallow a growl this time, baring her teeth and feeling satisfaction when Brambleclaw's pelt actually bristled. It meant he saw her as a threat. She was half tempted to slash that smug face of his and teach him a lesson. But Graystripe seemed to finally be fed up with their endless bickering and actually hissed.
"Would the pair of you just stop it!" Squirrelpaw flinched, it was easy to forget Graystripe wasn't just her mentor he was ThunderClan's leader. He swung around to Brambleclaw "If you didn't want her to come you shouldn't have mentioned it in front of her. Stop riling my apprentice up Brambleclaw," he scolded, the vehemence was enough to get to Brambleclaw, who ducked his head apologetically.
His amber eyes on Squirrelpaw, he looked resigned "It's too late to take you back now. Not if we want a shot at those rabbits… So you're going to come with us-"
Squirrelpaw was quick to shuffle on her paws. A chance to redeem herself! To catch some food for her clan! She was going to prove Brambleclaw wrong. She was going to make Graystripe proud "Great! You won't need to worry about a thing Graystripe, I-"
Graystripe practically slapped his tail against her muzzle, silencing her ramble; He was staring at her with that usual mix of fondness and exasperation "I *do* have to worry. You're my apprentice and like it or not, still not fully trained," that reminder had her deflating, but only slightly as he continued "So here's what's going to happen. We're going to this twoleg den, and you're going to listen to every word I say and follow every order, do you understand me?"
Squirrelpaw nodded furiously. She would agree to anything if it meant Graystripe would let her help. Her mentor seemed to accept her answer and nodded, stretching and shaking out his pelt as he turned away "Alright, let's go," he ordered, padding away towards the nearest alley.
Brambleclaw followed, rolling his eyes "Bad idea…" he grumbled low enough for only Squirrelpaw's ears. Squirrelpaw glared at him before hurrying after the two. Why was it always Brambleclaw? Graystripe was always including him when he took her out on patrol. She knew it was for safety reasons, but why couldn't it be literally any other cat?
She decided she would not let him get to her. He didn't know what he was talking about. She was just as capable as the rest of them, and she was going to prove it.
The alleyway they entered was different then the one Squirrelpaw had failed to catch the mouse in. This one was filled with a lot more twoleg trash. But it had a set strange structure that was uniform and made of that twoleg stuff she had learned was called 'metal'. It was shaped like steps, and Graystripe began climbing them. Stopping to look back at Squirrelpaw and ensure she was close behind.
He never admitted it, but Graystripegot nervous on twoleg structures. There was a tenseness in his muscles whenever he stood on them. His tail never stopped twitching, not even once. His pupils ever so slightly narrowed into slits. Brambeclaw was even worse at hiding it, his tail grew almost as puffy as hers whenever he stood on something twoleg made.
Squirrelpaw didn't know why it affected them so badly. She didn't like the twoleg place either but everything was sturdy. She could trust it wouldn't crumble beneath her feet, the same way she'd heard tales of branches or rocks breaking under paw. She didn't dare ask them directly, not wanting to hear another lecture on how she 'wouldn't understand'.
Graystripe reached the top of the twoleg steps, looking uneasily at the nearby window of a twoleg den before moving forward. Squeezing between the bars and stepping directly onto a ledge jutting out from the twoleg den. Following the narrow path and rounding the corner out of sight. Brambeclaw followed nimbly after. Not wanting to show any hesitation she rounded the corner right on his tail.
The three cats were now many, many tail lengths above the ground. High above the heads of several twolegs walking about. It was strangely exhilarating, being so high above, where nothing could get to them. Where Graystripe and Brambleclaw walked low, pressing close to the read stone to their left, Squirrelpaw walked straight up with her head held high. Unable to help her own smug smile as Brambleclaw looked back at her over his shoulder. He only scowled and kept walking.
Eventually they reached the end of the path, across a gap was another twoleg den. A gap Graystripe easily cleared, then Brambleclaw. Determined not to be outdone, Squirrelpaw hardly waited before she bunched her muscles and leaped. Landing on the ledge, feeling momentary panic as her paws scrabbled. Quick to straighten herself up and play it off.
They continued like that for a while. Squirrelpaw had come to recognize the different sections of this vast twoleg place. Where they walked now, the twoleg dens were massive, towering high into the clouds. Higher than any tree; more like mountains than dens. They also held multiple twolegs, supposedly each window looked in on a separate nest of twolegs.
But where they were heading, the twoleg dens became much shorter. Still tall, still large, but not nearly as grand. These dens typically held only one twoleg family. They also had gardens, little patches of greenery where they would lounge and speak loudly in that cacophonous tone of theirs. Each garden and den was separated by a tall, thin wooden fence.
They found themselves now at the very edge of this border; Greystripe was crouched at the ledge they stood on and was looking over into a twoleg garden.
Squirrelpaw hadn't been in this section of the Twloeg place before. Peering around Brambleclaw, she gasped in surprise. She knew Graystripe wouldn't have led them on a pointless hunt but she still hadn't quite believed it until now. Three rabbits, fat ones, were laying about and grazing in the twoleg garden. They didn't look like the rabbits she had heard in stories; which were brown furry creatures that ran as fast as the wind. These were plump, with black and white markings. They looked like they hadn't ran a day in their lives.
"Squirrelpaw!" Graystripe called to her, jerking his head towards the space next to him. It took some awkward wiggling around Brambleclaw before she managed to crouch beside Graystripe.
His eyes remained focused on the rabbits, not moving even as Brambleclaw came up to crouch on the other side of him "I don't see any twolegs," he mewed.
He was right. There weren't any in the garden and there weren't any looking in from the windows. Had the twolegs really just these rabbits out with no one to watch them?
"It won't be that way for long," Graystripe's voice was hard. His whiskers twitched as he finally tore his eyes away to focus on Squirrelpaw "Here is what we're going to do. When i say so, we leap across this gap, jump into the den and go for the rabbits. Kill them fast. If you don't get one right away then leave it, if we can get at least one that'll be enough to feed. We cannot linger down there more than necessary," his expression was stern "If the twoleg sets the dogs on us you run, you get over that fence and get back to this ledge. Got it?"
Squirrelpaw nodded, smiling as she wiggled her toes "I've got it Graystripe! Don't worry!" the touch of his tail along her spine made her fall still, surprised at the rather grim expression on his face.
"I'm serious Squirrelpaw… dogs… dogs are not a joke. They can kill, viciously. Even if they leave you alive… you may not be the same," was his warning.
Squirrelpaw's excitement fizzled a bit. She knew what he was saying, had heard the whispers about what had happened in the old forest. How a cat named Tigerstar had lured dogs to ThunderClan's old territory and had tried using them to wipe the clan out. Brightheart's face was a reminder of that tragedy. While Squirrelpaw had thought it brave that she had gone to fight the dogs to protect her clan, she knew what Graystripe was trying to tell her. She needed to be careful. Because one wrong move and she'd end up at the mercy of dog teeth.
Squirrelpaw was able to curb her excitement long enough to give Graystripe a sincere smile "I'll be careful Graystripe. This is for the clan, I'm not afraid."
"You should be," Brambleclaw's voice was thin, sounding almost haunted, but he said nothing more. For once, his words didn't seem to designed to tease her.
Graystripe took a deep breath, waiting a few more moments. When no movement came from inside the twoleg den, he tensed up "Now!" he hissed, leaping across the gap and onto the fence, dropping down into the twoleg garden.
Squirrelpaw wasted no time, already bunched up she exploded forward into a powerful jump of her own. Her paws barely touching the wood of the fence before she dropped down beside Graystripe. In a flash, the cats were racing across the short stretch of grass to the three rabbits.
Lazy and fat they may have been, nothing could truly erase the instincts of prey. The three rabbits jumped up, immediately turning for the twoleg den to flee. But Graystripe was faster. With a snarl he threw himself forward and tackled one of the rabbits, it squealed and bucked but fell still with one powerful bite to its soft throat.
Squirrelpaw could feel her adrenaline pumping through her veins. Could hear her own heartbeat thundering within her ears. They had one chance at this. She dug her claws into the grass and launched herself forward, just as Graystripe had. She mentally ran through everything he'd taught her. Keep your claws outstretched, your tail out behind you, land as lightly as you can, roll with your prey.
It was exhilarating, the way her claws sunk into prey so easily. The rabbit beneath her let out a similar squeal of terror. Where Graystripe had been able to pin it, Squirrelpaw's smaller stature meant she was forced to roll with it. The rabbit was still kicking and thrashing as Squirrelpaw struggled to get her teeth to its neck. For a moment Squirrelpaw felt panic, she feared failing again, that was until Brambleclaw appeared right in front of her, sinking his claws down into the rabbit's shoulders, holding it still long enough for Squirrelpaw to deliver a swift, final bite. The rabbit finally going still.
Squirrelpaw gasped, straightening up and looking towards Brambleclaw, before her eyes darted around the garden. Spotting the furry end of the third rabbit as it burrowed its way beneath the twoleg den. Never follow a rabbit into its den. It had outrun Brambleclaw it seems, and he'd decided aiding her in her kill was the safer bet then trying to stop it.
Squirrelpaw smiled widely, half tempted to make a snarky remark about Brambleclaw being too slow, but another sound had her stopping. A sound Graystripe and Brambleclaw clearly heard as well. The squeal of the rabbits hadn't gone unnoticed. The furious sound of barking dogs and the face of an outraged twoleg in the window made it clear they'd been spotted.
"RUN! NOW!" Graystripe bellowed, scooping up the rabbit in his jaws as the back door swung open and the barking got louder. Brambleclaw snatching up Squirrelpaw's rabbit and bolting for the fence. She had no time to be annoyed, because a pair of dogs were racing out after them. Giant and white and throwing spit everywhere from their hanging jowls. The sound of barking was so loud. How could anyone even think with such a cacophonous noise!?
Squirrelpaw's pelt was spiked as she ran, fleeing for the fence right behind her clanmates. She could feel their fiery breath right on her tail. The stench was overwhelming; it forced her to fight off the urge to gag. Almost to the fence. Almost there. She watched Brambleclaw scale it easily, then Graystripe. She gritted her teeth, pushing her legs as fast as they could go, she just needed to jump, just needed to-
A cat. There was a cat.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw a cat. Only a few tail lengths off to the side, crouched in the thin bushes planted right by the fence. What was a cat doing in this garden? Graystripe surely would've known if there was a kittypet living in this den. Why hadn't either him or Brambleclaw noticed?
If she scaled this fence, was she leaving this cat to die? The cat was visible, their orange pelt practically glowing in the sunlight. The dogs would surely notice them and tear them apart. This stranger didn't deserve to die just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Even if it was just a loner or another kittypet, she didn't think she could live with that on her conscience.
She was an apprentice of ThunderClan, she could do this.
With a yowl Squirrelpaw dug her claws into the dirt and went from a full sprint to a dead stop. Spinning sharply and turning to face the two large dogs. She never knew terror could be so potent, never knew a cat could actually taste it, as she stared the dogs down.
She couldn't fight them, but she could give this cat a chance to at lest escape.
"Squirrelpaw no!" whether it was Brambleclaw or Graystripe who screeched out she couldn't be sure. It didn't matter, because she ignored them as she ran forward, straight for the dogs.
Squirrelpaw threw herself to the side, feeling the sharp gust of wind that came from one dog snapping its jaws shut. It had only just missed her ears. Squirrelpaw continued running, the dogs now turning to give chase as she ran for the other side of the fence. She momentarily felt invincible. She'd dodged it! She had actually outmaneuvered a dog!
The victory was short lived, because the second dog had been closer than she realized, running up beside her and lunging, jaws wide open and teeth glinting with deadly sharpness.
"AH!" Squirrelpaw halted, the dog's maw snapping shut right in front of her. The dumb animal's momentum sending it tumbling on the grass. She had avoided the second dog, but stopping had allowed the first one to catch up to her. A fact she registered far too late as the colossal beast slammed into her, pinning her beneath itself.
All training and discipline flew out the window in that moment. Panic so strong that Squirrelpaw was almost blinded by it. Wiggling and squirming violently in an attempt to escape. Her pelt burning from its stinking breath being so close. In her panicked writhing, she managed to swing her claws and slash at the dog's muzzle. The canine whined and scrambled back. The second its weight was off her, Squirrelpaw bolted. She wasn't even conscious of what she was doing. Her instincts and her fear had taken over, guiding her paws straight to the fence, leaping frantically onto and finally over the top of the fence.
Squirrelpaw hit the ground on the other side of the fence hard. Her paws flying out from beneath her, so that it was her side that connected with the dirt. She gasped, struggling to breathe, to focus. It took a few, frantic seconds before the panic eased enough for her to actually register her surroundings.
A garden. She was in another garden. If she was coherent, she would've scolded herself for ending up in another yard without checking for danger. Luck was on her side this time, because there were no dogs. She could still hear the thunderous barking of the dogs she'd just escaped, but just those dogs, now on the other side of the fence.
Squirrelpaw wasn't sure how long she remained crouched there. Heaving as she tried to remember how to breathe. But before she even knew it the barking had faded. Leaving only the familiar and ambient sounds of twoleg place.
Yet that momentary peace didn't last long. She instinctively flinched and tensed up, ready to run when she heard claws on the fence. But to her immense relief it was just Graystripe, she was even happy to see Brambleclaw as he appeared above her too. The pair leaping down into the garden, dropping the rabbits they held as they rushed to her.
"Are you ok!?" Graystripe's mew was frantic, she could see the darker stripe along his spine was spiked with terror. He circled her, nosing her and checking for injuries. Squirrelpaw was silent a heartbeat too long because Graystripe's voice grew louder "Squirrelpaw! Are you ok?!"
"I'm ok!" she squeaked, wincing at how thin her own voice sounded. She was ok. She'd made it. She was safe. She had to mentally repeat that mantra a few times before her body seemed to finally believe it, relaxing further and nodding "I'm ok…"
"Fantastic! It's good to hear you're just fine," any relief she felt was replaced by anxiety at Brambleclaw's borderline manic tone "Now tell us what in StarClan's was that?!" he sounded furious "Do you realize that you could have died!?"
She didn't appreciate the dramatics, he was acting like he'd been the one pinned beneath a dog. She scowled at him "I had it under control! Even when it caught me I knew how to get free!" That was a lie, she knew she had panicked, but he didn't need to know that. Not when it would only fuel his views on how incompetent she was.
"Most full grown warriors can't even take on a dog by themselves!" he hissed "What makes you think that you, a moon old apprentice, could take on two!?"
Squirrelpaw was denied the chance to defend herself, because she heard Graystripe speak up in a cold, cool voice "What were you thinking Squirrelpaw…?"
Unlike Brambleclaw, his question made her feel as tiny as a mouse. She swallowed thickly, hesitating as she looked to her mentor. Now that he'd confirmed she was alright, his concern had morphed into anger. She couldn't even see his eyes, he was staring at the ground.
"I… I was…" he didn't let her finish, he was exploding as his furious amber eyes finally focused on her.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING SQUIRRELPAW?!" he bellowed, causing Squirrelpaw to flinch and sink closer to the ground.
"I wasn't-" she tried again, but Graystripe clearly wasn't asking because he wanted an answer. He was just asking in an attempt to vent the anger clearly churning within him. Continuing to scold and berate her while Bambleclaw watched.
"I told you! No heroics! Don't be reckless! And what did you do?! You decided to try and prove yourself by running straight for a pair of dogs!? I know you can be overeager but I honestly thought better of you!"
The jab at her character hurt far worse than anything else. She found herself scrambling to say something, anything to stop his tirade. Did he really think she threw herself at a pair of dogs just to show off?
"A cat!" she finally managed to get in before he went off on another tangent "There was a cat in the garden!"
Graystripe looked momentarily baffled "A cat!? Squirrelpaw, what are you talking about!?" he still looked mad, but he was listening now at least.
"There was a cat! Right when I was about to jump onto the fence. I saw a cat in the bushes. They weren't there before. I knew if I jumped, I'd be leaving that cat to die. It… It didn't seem right, leaving a loner or kittypet to get attacked by dogs because of us. That's why I ran towards the dogs, to give the cat a chance to escape!" Brambleclaw and Graystripe both look baffled now, looking at one another "Didn't you see them? You had to have!"
But the pair still looked confused. Brambleclaw's face scrunching up as he shook his hed, Graystripe looking frustrated as he looked back to his apprentice.
"Squirrelpaw, you can't just make something up just because you're in trouble," he looked disappointed, she couldn't stand it.
"I'm not making this up!" she insisted, why wouldn't they believe her? "There was a cat, a tom I think, he had ginger fur like mine!''
It was that detail that made Graystripe freeze. His pupils were so slitted she could barely make them out in the pools of amber "Ginger… like yours?"
Hope flared in her chest "Yes! Not quite like mine… brighter, but definitely ginger," her legs no longer felt shaky. She managed to stand, looking back towards the fence then back towards the two toms "I'm telling the truth! I saw a cat in that garden."
"Did you smell him?" Brambleclaw asked, his voice as hard as stone "Did he move at all?"
"He- well… no… not really," she admitted, not wanting to lie to make her story more believable when she was already being accused of being a liar "But he was probably just scared because of the dogs. I'm not blind or stupid Brambeclaw! I saw a cat."
"It's more likely you *think* you saw a cat," Brambleclaw scoffed "Adrenaline does crazy things to a cat's mind. Especially the mind of one always keen to play hero. There was no cat in that garden Squirrelpaw, me and Graystripe would've seen them."
Squirrelpaw was so frustrated she had to reign in the urge to lash out "I saw a cat, I'm not dumb enough to distract a pair of dogs for nothing," she looked imploringly to Graystripe "I'm not."
But he wasn't looking at her, he looked so furious still, but there was a hint of sadness in his features, Did he believe her?"
"Graystripe… Graystripe please believe me… im telling the truth," she pleaded, stepping closer. But her mentor just stood, shaking his head.
"We're heading back to camp. Now. Before something else almost gets you killed," He leaned down, grabbing the rabbit and turning away, hurrying across the garden towards a different wall of the fence. Not eager to be seen by the twoleg who's garden they'd just left behind.
"I'm not lying," Squirrelpaw felt hurt as well as despair. Her ears flat as Brambleclaw leaned down to grab the second rabbit.
"Just… just come on," he sighed, moving to follow his leader. Squirrelpaw could say nothing, she could only hurry after them, her tail hanging low behind her.
The silence was stifling as all three began the journey back to camp. The rabbits the two held gave them excuses to be silent, but that didn't make Squirrelpaw feel any better. Sticking close as they took a long way around back towards the towering twoleg dens. Clearing the familiar gap and heading back the way they'd come.
Why was it so unbelievable? They'd run into loners and other kittypets before. Why wasn't it possible that Graystripe and Brambleclaw had simply missed the cat while she hadn't.
Slowly the twoleg place around them began to morph. The thunderpaths became uneven and full of holes, the twoleg dens empty, the gardens overgrown. It looked terrible, but the sight of what ThunderClan was temporarily calling their territory brought relief to the three cats. Twolegs rarely ventured into this part of twoleg place, meaning it was safe. Well, somewhat safe anyway. Squirrelpaw could hardly blame them, she wouldn't come here either if she had the choice.
Jumping down from the pathway on the side of an old twoleg den, the three cats found themselves on the ground once more. With the sun slowly setting, the stone underpaw wasn't painful to step on anymore.
Graystripe kept his eyes straight ahead as he hurried along the open and empty lot. The tunnel that led to their camp beneath the dilapidated twoleg den now within sight. He stopped at the entryway, letting Brambleclaw slip in first.
Squirrelpaw stopped right in front of him, staring up at him with imploring eyes. Silently begging for him to say something, anything to her. But her mentor just let out a slow breath and motioned with his head for her to go inside.
As always, it took a second for her to get accustomed to the way the air grew thick. The air stunk within twoleg place, but at least she could breath, down here there was nowhere for the air to go. Thus it, thick, within the air.
As soon as she and Brambleclaw entered, all eyes turned to them. Thornclaw and Goldenflower who had been sharing tongues ceased their motions and looked in surprise. Goldenflower purring as she rose to her paws and raced over.
"Rabbits! Where did you find rabbits? Especially ones so fat?" The she-cat asked in astonishment. Brambleclaw smiled, inclining his head up with with no shortage of pride.
"Not just one, two!" He corrected as Graystripe slid through the tunnel next. The cats within the camp letting out sounds of joy.
"Two whole rabbits!" Brakenfur laughed "We're eating good tonight," his cheering joined by Willowpelt, who nearly knocked him over in her rush to see.
"Did you get these from that twoleg den?" Thornclaw asked, pulling one of two rabbits into the center of the growing crowd. Goldenflower had turned away to grab a pair of scrawny mice and bring them over. They looked pitiful compared to the rabbits, but any food was better than nothing.
"Yes, we did," Graystripe confirmed. Squirrelpaw tensed, waiting with baited breath. Was he going to tell the whole clan?
"You managed to avoid the dogs?" Brakenfur asked in wonderment "I'm lucky I escaped with my tail still intact. Did the twoleg not see you?"
Brambleclaw snorted "Well-" he didn't get a chance, because Graystripe spoke up, shooting a warning glance towards the brown tabby.
"The twoleg wasn't watching, so we were able to grab the rabbits and get out quickly," the relief in Squirrelpaw was so palpable she nearly collapsed. The last thing she wanted was for her clanmates to think the same as Graystripe. That she was reckless and uncaring of danger if it meant showing off.
"Good job you three, especially you Squirrelpaw," Sandstorm praised, having come up and past the cats now downing on one of the rabbits pressing her nose to Squirrelpaw's forehead "I know it must've been terrifying, but you've made me, and your clan proud today," her green eyes were alight with so much warmth, so much love.
Squirrelpaw managed a smile, but somehow she felt even worse. Now she wished Graystripe had just told them what really happened. The praise felt so undeserved, she was certain she was going to be sick.
Her mother thankfully didn't seem to notice how horrible Squirrelpaw felt. She just gave her daughter one last nuzzle between the ears and motioned to the second rabbit "Take that to you sister and Cinderpelt, they're looking after Longtail and Brightheart."
Relieved to have a task to distract herself, Squirrelpaw grabbed the rabbit in her jaws. Pulling it along to the back corner of the camp. Unable to help one last glance at Graystripe, but he wasn't looking at her, he was speaking with Sandstorm and urging her to eat it seems. Squirrelpaw swallowed her disappointment and continued making her way with the rabbit.
Leafpaw and Cinderpelt were already waiting. The pair having noticed the commotion and waiting to see what was going on. Both donning equal expression of delight upon seeing the bounty Squirrelpaw carried.
"Is that a rabbit?" Cinderpelt asked in wonderment, leaning forward to sniff the prey when Squirrelpaw reached it.
"And you caught it! Impressive Squirrelpaw!" Leafpaw chirped, laughing as she nudged her sister's shoulder with her own.
Squirrelpaw managed a smile "Yeah, we managed to catch two," she set it down, nodding to Cinderpelt, opening her mouth to speak but stopping as she saw Brightheart and Longtail behind her.
Longtail was skin and bones. Sleeping it seemed, his chest rising and falling a bit shakily. His rib cage was clearly visible every time he took a breath. No one had realized he'd been skipping meals, multiple times a day, sometimes for days in a row. He'd been hiding his worsening condition by keeping his pelt coated in dirt. It had done a decent job of hiding his bones. It wasn't until he'd collapsed during a hunting patrol that the clan learned what he'd been doing. He'd offered no explanation, just insisted he was fine even when he couldn't walk.
Brightheart wasn't nearly as thin yet somehow she looked just as bad. Her pelt was ragged and her eye was practically sunken in. She wasn't sleeping like Longtail, instead she was staring at the far wall, her eyes unfocused. She didn't even seem aware of Squirrelpaw's presence.
Cinderpelt sighed, seeing where Squirrelpaw's eyes had turned to. She rose to three paws and used her tail to gesture at Squirrelpaw, signaling her to bring the rabbit closer. Squirrelpaw did so without complain, Leafpaw hurrying over to Longtail's nest. Placing a gentle paw on his shoulder and shaking him.
"Longtail. Longtail! We've got some food for you," Leafpaw coaxed him gently. Longtail's eyes blinked open, sniffing the air and clearly catching scent of the rabbit. Squirrelpaw could see the way his mouth watered and his tongue licked his lips. But he stubbornly wiggled deeper into the nest and shoved his muzzle beneath his tail.
"I'm not… not hungry," the tom growled, his striped pelt bristling "I'm just tired, let me sleep…"
"Come on Longtail," Squirrelpaw watched as Leafpaw continued to try and rouse him "Graystripe, Brambleclaw, and Squirrelpaw caught two whole rabbits."
His ears twitched, slitted eyes peeking out from the ball he was curled in. Blinking slowly as he caught sight of the pump creature. Eyes widening a bit "You found… these in twoleg place?" He asked in befuddlement.
Squirrelpaw nodded, offering Longtail an encouraging smile. He seemed so frail. Nothing like the hot tempered and strong warrior she was used to seeing as a kit "Yeah, we caught two, so there's more than enough for everyone."
Longtail grumbled, eyeing the rabbit cautiously. As if worried it would spring to life and start clawing at him. Squirrelpaw worried he was going to insist he was fine. To her immense relief, he hauled himself out of the nest and sat in front of the rabbit, beginning to dig in.
Brightheart wasn't as receptive, she continued to stare unblinkingly even as Cinderpelt shook her and spoke.
"Brightheart, come on Brightheart," Cinderpelt murmured, her voice soft and soothing like a mother to her kits. But Brightheart didn't move, her one eye remained unblinking. It wasn't until Cinderpelt gave a particularly sharp push that Brightheart seemed to spring to life. Gasping and scrambling to her paws, panting as she looked around, sniffing the air.
"Dogs?!" She scrambled back, hitting the dirt wall of their camp "Why do I smell dogs?! Are they down here!?" Her pelt was spiked, her one eye darting around the dark hole nervously. As if half expecting a dog to materialize from the shadows.
The guilt in Squirrelpaw nearly choked her as she sniffed at herself. She couldn't really smell anything beyond the stench of twoleg place, but maybe Brightheart could still smell traces of the giant white dogs on her.
"No Brightheart, there's no dogs, I promise," Cinderpelt reassured her, stepping forward and pressing against Brightheart's shaking side "Just prey, look, Squirrelpaw brought a rabbit," she said, nudging the she-cat forward. Brightheart seemed to calm down enough to properly sniff the air again, her gaze locking onto the rabbit Longtail was eating.
"Come on, you need to eat too," Cinderpelt said encouragingly, bringing Brightheart forward until she was crouched in front of the rabbit. The succulent smell of prey and the gnawing of her hungry stomach meant she couldn't resist for long. Happily digging in alongside Longtail. The two warriors were already looking a bit better now that they were eating a decent meal.
Cinderpelt looked pleased. The gray she-cat was smiling and even purring as she looked to the two apprentices, nodding "Alright, you two should eat too," she said, leaning forward to take a few bites. Already the rabbit that had seemed so plump was almost gone.
Leafpaw looked eager, crouching and beginning to eat as well. Squirrelpaw had been hungry earlier. But sitting here now, watching her clanmates eat a meal she'd helped catch, she didn't think any meal could be more satisfying than knowing she'd taken care of her clanmates.
But there was also a pit in the stomach that wouldn't allow her to eat. Her mind going back to that garden and the cat Brambleclaw and Graystripe didn't believe she'd seen. She wasn't crazy, and she wasn't blind, she had seen a cat. She was sure of it. But… did that make what she'd done right? What if she'd been hurt? What if Graystripe and Brambleclaw had been hurt trying to save her? Then the clan would be short three cats, something they could not afford right now.
"Come on Squirrelpaw, you need to eat too," Cinderpelt said over her shoulder. Squirrelpaw really didn't think she could stomach anything, but seeing the way Longtail ate so voraciously had her crouching down beside her sister to eat. She didn't want the warrior to think the way he'd starved himself for everyone else was ok. They were a clan, meaning they all took care of each other.
In the end, Squirrelpaw could only really stomach a few mouthfuls. Thankfully the fact she ate so little had mostly gone unnoticed because the rabbit was picked clean not long after that. Leaving nothing but bones that Longtail began gnawing on, only stopping when Cinderpelt scolded him.
"You're going to chip your teeth if you do that Longtail," she nudged up and away.
Longtail wrinkled his whiskers at her but said nothing else, just turned away and crawled back into his nest. Even with a full meal, the exhaustion caused by starvation hadn't been completely erased. He was asleep in seconds.
Cinderpelt began gathering the bones together, but Squirrelpaw stepped in "Don't worry about those Cinderpelt, I'll bury them."
Cinderpelt blinked gratefully "Thank you Squirrelpaw," she looked to Leafpaw "Go ahead and get some rest, you've finished your duties for the day."
Squirrelpaw scraped the bones together, using her claws to pull them away from her sicker clanmates. Starting to dig a hole to bury them in. Surprised when Leafpaw appeared beside her and began to do the same. Squirrelpaw smiled, brushing her tail across her sister's flank "Thanks."
Leafpaw smiled in acknowledgement, but the smile quickly dropped, as did her voice as she leaned in to whisper "So… what actually happened out there…?" She asked, her face was tight with concern "You looked upset despite the fact you helped bring in enough prey to feed your clanmates."
Squirrelpaw looked away, instead focusing down at the hole she was digging in the dirt. She was half tempted to tell her sister, but the guilt and shame over her actions stilled her tongue. Would Leafpaw even believe her? Would she think the same thing of her as Graystripe did, that she'd just been recklessly showing off?
"It's nothing," she said instead "I'm just…" she looked up, back to Longtail and Brightheart, who were both back in their nests "I'm worried about them. I'm worried that might happen to more cats…"
Leafpaw rubbed her head soothingly against Squirrelpaw's shoulders "It won't, sometimes cats just… get sick is all."
"Yeah but they're not just sick. Longtail was starving himself and Brightheart… I don't even know about Brightheart," Squirrelpaw flattened her ears "I don't know what to do to help…"
"You let Cinderpelt and the warriors handle it," Leafpaw said "Right now, all we need to focus on is getting our training. Because once we're ready, we'll find a better home. One where cats won't feel forced to starve themselves to feed their clanmates."
Squirrelpaw sighed. Somehow that solution was sounding more and more fake. Why weren't they ready now? Surely they'd learn faster if they left to find a new home. Squirrelpaw could walk, she could run, she could hunt, why should they wait any longer? But she said none of this to her sister, simply nodding as she pushed the rabbit bones into the hole and began covering it "Yeah… you're right… we just need to get stronger."
Leafpaw seemed pleased Squirrelpaw had accepted the advice. Giving Squirrelpaw one last nuzzle before she stood up, padding over to Sandstorm. The other warriors had finished their own rabbit and were dispersing. Ensuring their nests were tidy, that the hole they called home was still stable. There wasn't much to do when they weren't out hunting or patrolling
Squirrelpaw sat there, feeling listless, considering crawling into her nest and just going to sleep early. But she saw Graystripe stepping out of the tunnel. She couldn't stand this any longer, she needed to talk to him. To get him to see that she was telling the truth.
She ran for the tunnel, ignoring her mother's call for her as she squeezed around Thornclaw and passed Willowpelt, hurrying out of the tunnel and into the world beyond. Graystripe was sitting just beside the tunnel, staring vacantly at the moon that was steadily rising into the sky. He looked over when he heard pawsteps, but looked back out at the moon when he saw it was just Squirrelpaw.
Squirrelpaw was frustrated by his silence more than any scolding. Was he going to ignore her? Was he that disappointed in her? She stubbornly stepped over and sat beside him, curling her tail around her paws and looking out at the moon as well. Trying to force her fur to remain flat as the two sat there in silence. Finally, Squirrelpaw couldn't take it anymore.
"Graystripe I'm sorry," she clawed at the stone beneath her anxiously "I really didn't run at the dogs because I wanted to prove myself. I really did do it because I wanted to save a cat," she looked at him nervously "Please, you have to believe me."
Graystripe said nothing, sitting as immovable as a boulder, still staring at the moon. Finally he sighed, looking at her with tired amber eyes.
"I… believe you *think* you saw a cat," he said, the answer made her heart plummet to the ground. He didn't think she was a liar, but he still early doubted she had seen anything. He still clearly thought she'd risked her life for nothing.
Squirrelpaw hunched her shoulders, huffing as she stared at her paws "Why… Why didn't you tell the clan?" she asked, peeking over at him
Graystripe blinked slowly "It didn't seem right to punish you like that when you clearly believed what you were doing was right," he said, and to her amazement gave a small smile "You're just like your father, determined to do the right thing no matter what."
As she always did when a cat spoke above her father, Squirrelpaw straightened up, staring at Graystripe with wide and eager eyes "Really?"
Graystripe laughed softly "Yes… he broke the warrior code so many times for things he believed was right. He was punished enough for it. I didn't feel right punishing you for something I usually admired in him."
Squirrelpaw felt as if she'd been struck by lightning. This was the most anyone had ever talked about Firestar before. Sandstorm had shared little snippets. Like the fact Squirrelpaw looked just like him, or the fact he'd been a kittypet before he joined the clans. Graystripe had been his best friend, he must've missed Firestar just as much as Sandstorm did.
She was filled with such a powerful ache, a longing to know the Firestar they knew. He was her father, yet she knew next to nothing about him, except for these little snippets she was occasionally lucky enough to be given.
"But Squirrelpaw… you can't…" his voice cracked, and she was surprised to see his eyes were watery "You can't put yourself in danger like that. I wouldn't be able to look your mother in the eye if I let her kit die like that and I… I can't lose anymore cats I care about…"
Squirrelpaw was certain the guilt would consume her alive. She knew she had worried him, but hadn't realize she'd scared him so badly "Who… who else have you lost," she asked, her voice hardly louder than a breath. Wanting to know, wanting to ease his pain even if only just.
"My mate… she died a long time ago but… during the battle against BloodClan… I lost my kits," he admitted in a broken tone.
Squirrelpaw gasped. He had kits? She remained silent, leaning in closer, silently imploring him to continue.
It seemed to ease the pain, to speak of his kits, because he continued "Stormpaw and Featherpaw… they were RiverClan apprentices because I fell in love with a RiverClan cat," the name of one of the other four clans. She'd never met another clan cat. Despite that, Graystripe had still taught her that having a mate from another clan was forbidden in the warrior code. She couldn't help but feel a bit of admiration for her mentor, for being unafraid to break the rules.
"I did my best to keep my eyes on them during the battle but… but near the end, when everything was lost…" he choked down a sob "I lost sight of them. I tried to find them afterwards, I tried so hard. But it wasn't safe in the forest with BloodClan now ruling over it, and we were in danger every day we stayed," he sighed, hanging his head "I don't know if they survived… it was a massacre after all but I hope… I hope they're ok, somewhere, even if I never see them again."
Squirrelpaw could feel herself getting emotional, leaning against Graystripe's side in an effort to comfort him "I'm sorry Graystripe…"
He swallowed down his sadness, looking at her with a look of intensity "Squirrelpaw, promise me you won't needlessly put yourself in danger like that again. I'm not foolish enough to ask you to avoid danger completely. I'm training you to be a warrior after all. Just promise you won't risk yourself so recklessly. I can't lose another kit Squirrelpaw."
Squirrelpaw wanted to insist it hadn't been needlessly. She had risked her life to save another cat. Even if Graystripe didn't believe she'd seen one, she *knew* she had. But Graystripe looked so distressed, worried about losing another clanmate, she couldn't say anything else.
"I promise Graystripe," she said, feeling ashamed that her whole heart wasn't in it. She couldn't regret what she'd done, and she wouldn't let him nor Brambleclaw make her feel crazy. She knew what she saw.
Thankfully, the promise seemed to be enough for Graystripe. He sagged with relief, rising to his paws and turning back towards the tunnel.
"It's getting late, come on, let's head back in," he said, but Squirrelpaw didn't think she could handle going back into camp right away.
"I'm going to sit out here for a while and… enjoy the fresh air," she said. Greystripe didn't look too pleased, she half expected him to insist she come inside now. But it seems that his trust in her had been restored, either that he trusted the fact she was sincere in her promise.
"Alright, just don't linger too long," he said, a mischievous smile appearing on his face as he playfully ruffled her ears "Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, I need to properly teach you how to fend off dogs," he laughed as she bristled up the way she normally did when he treated her like a kit. The smile still on his face even when he turned away and disappeared into the tunnel.
Squirrelpaw sighed, finally feeling like she could breathe again. It was good to know she hadn't ruined her relationship with her mentor and leader, but her heart still felt heavy. Wishing he believed her completely.
She saved a cat today, a stranger who she never even got to see afterwards, but she was certain she did the right thing. For now, she would put it behind her. She needed to just focus on training and getting stronger. That way her clan could finally leave this place and find a proper home.
Squirrelpaw remained sitting there, staring at the moon and at the stars. Silent as they always were.
With such an uncertain future ahead of them, she could only hope that she wouldn't be forced to break her promise to Graystripe.