Tori: Just Getting Started
It's a funny thing, getting older. You hear these horror stories from everyone who has gone through it and it sounds like the most terrifying thing in the world. Like your body begins to completely fall apart and you'll start aching one day and never stop. People like to make it seem that your life is over when you hit thirty because the daily challenges you face gradually start to differ. You're trained to be afraid of turning thirty, forty, fifty long before you even get there.
But then, something happens. You reach that age, and you find that your own experience is vastly different from everyone else's.
Maybe there are some aches and pains. Maybe the boobs sag or the butt falls. Maybe the joints ache before it rains. But maybe we don't need to be so damn afraid of it.
Every age, every decade brings with it changes that we have to adapt to. Learning to walk, speak, think, reason. Going through puberty. Learning to interact socially, drive a car, get a job. These are all scary changes that take some getting used to. And the changes "old age" brings are no different. It's not like life was perfect before. And if you think it was, you're lying to yourself.
And I'll tell you something else I learned about getting older in recent months. It's a gift that far too many people don't ever get to experience.
Sam's mom passed away when she was 59. My first thought was, wow, she was so young. I guess it's all about perspective.
Pam's passing made me reevaluate so much of my life. And I can say without a doubt that growing old with Jade was the greatest gift I could ever have. Nothing made me happier than waking up next to her every morning.
Except, apparently, this morning. As my bedroom came into focus, Jade was conspicuously absent. It took me a minute to shake off the stranglehold of sleep enough to see the entire room. She wasn't in bed. She wasn't at our desk or in her reading chair. The bathroom light was out.
It was my birthday, and I was waking up alone. That didn't seem right.
Every muscle in my body ached as I tried to move. Jade had taken me out for a lovely evening of dinner and dancing as a birthday treat, since we had plans to go over to my sister's for a small party tonight. I felt last night with every shift of my arms and legs. I managed to sit myself up with some effort, and pulled the blanket with me. It was chilly in the room. Even in sunny SoCal, the springtime weather can be unstable, and our furnace had yet to come to terms with the daily temperature swings.
I tried to figure out where my phone had ended up. We had danced the night away, sure, but when we came home our fun continued for quite some time in the bed. Jade had this idea to twist the old tradition of giving the birthday girl some smacks on the butt, one for each year. Instead of thirty smacks, she decided to try and give me thirty orgasms.
I have never been so sore and so satisfied. And it didn't take as long as I thought it would, although I chalk that up to Jade knowing my body as least as well as she knows her own. But as my best friend Cat likes to say, a lady shouldn't discuss such things. (Okay, maybe someday, I'll share that one.)
As it was, I trembled as I thought back to the insane night of passion. I found my phone under my left thigh—please don't ask—and was about to text my wife when she suddenly appeared in the door carrying a tray of fantastic-smelling food.
"There you are," I said, relieved.
Her curves swayed seductively as she brought the tray to my nightstand. She wore a black and red silk robe that was tied at the waist…but since her usual sleepwear was folded neatly in her reading chair, I suspected that the robe was all she had on.
Her smile stole my breath for the millionth time. "And here I was hoping I'd have to come up with a fun way to wake you up."
The blood rushed into my cheeks. "You can always leave and come back and I'll pretend I'm still sleeping."
"But then all this delicious food will get cold."
In response, I "accidentally" dropped the sheet, exposing my breasts. Jade's eyes flicked down to them. It was so adorable, putting her on the spot and watching her squirm as she wrestled with the decision.
"Cold breakfast it is."
Before I knew it, her lips her on my breasts and she pushed me back onto my pillow.
If we were still counting birthday "smacks," I had enough to cover me until I was forty-four after that incredible morning.
I was blessed to have grown up in the Hollywood Hills. It was something that my family never took for granted, even if we did trend toward being a bit spoiled and selfish. When my parents got back together, my dad had already moved to an apartment in Fresno, where he had opened his own private investigation firm. He and my mom bought a house out there and left the house in the Hills to Trina as a gift.
Personally, I think it was because of how awful they were to her for most of her teenage years. Not that she herself wasn't awful, but I think parents are supposed to be above that sort of thing and they…well…they weren't. In fairness to them, they owned up to it. The amount of support they gave Trina after graduation was enormous, although the occasional jabs still found their way in.
I was relieved the house stayed in the family; it made going back there for holidays extra special. Trina and Dominic took excellent care of the place. Dominic was a personal fitness trainer with an impressive studio in Los Feliz where he held public sessions. He also had a lot of famous clients he would work with in their homes. My old bedroom became his home studio for private lessons, while Callie had taken Trina's old room and they, of course, took my parents' room.
Everything else was mostly the same, although they did get rid of that broken red couch. Honestly, I wasn't sorry to see it go. It was so uncomfortable!
We parked in front of the house, and my chest started to vibrate. I cast a quick glance at Jade. "Is that…music?"
"Sounds like it," she said with a shrug.
"You did tell Trina I didn't want a big party, right?"
"That wasn't made clear to my recollection."
I huffed. "Jade! I asked you like a million times!"
"Drawing a blank, sorry. Besides, what are you so worried about? That music could be from any party on this block."
I looked up and down the rest of the street. It was oddly quiet.
"Do you think there's another party on this block?"
She scowled. "Obviously not. I'm just saying, hypothetically, it could have been."
As much as I was okay with the prospect of getting older—moreso than I had been a few months ago—I still didn't want to make a big fuss out of it.
I had made a lot of progress. And thanks to a combination of medication, some small dietary changes, and a few natural remedies, the symptoms of my PCOS were pretty well under control. Sometimes the pain would be worse than others, but for the most part, I lived something approaching a normal life.
Well, minus being able to have kids. I guess it worked out that Jade didn't want any because based on the tests and numbers, it would have been almost impossible for me. It was a disappointment, but I accepted it as gracefully as I could.
After all, I had so much to be thankful for. Life with Jade had never been better. I made the difficult decision to end my relationship with NuSound, thanks to a contract loophole Tara found after her dad had announced his intention to buy me out. I simply couldn't see myself standing by a company that was so eager to get rid of me at the first sign of trouble. I understand Arthur had been in a tough spot, and I felt bad about walking away even after Tara had convinced Hayley to back down, but I had learned from my amazing wife to stand by my principles and not let corporate bullies push me around. It was the right decision.
From what I heard, Tara had left the company not long after me. We hadn't spoken since all that, and I was okay with that. If I ever needed closure, I found it in those last days in New York. What Tara had done back in school may have been awful, but it had hurt her, too. And it inspired her to change for the better. She saved my butt with her dad, and then she saved it from her dad. All was forgiven. We were square. No need to revisit.
Besides, I was still working on new music. Against my better judgment, I started sharing some snippets on social media, and they did pretty well. Caught Up In You was my most popular upload, and it remained my main focus. But I had tried my hand at writing some new pieces, too.
Aside from the music, I started sharing my journey with PCOS. There was a tremendous community out there that I wasn't expecting to find. As horrible as some of the places on the internet can be, there's just as much good and positivity and help. It inspired me to do a weekly video to talk about my experience and to listen to others as well. It wasn't one of those, "I'm a celebrity, you should care about what I think" sort of things, either. I never drew attention to myself as a celebrity, just as a sufferer of the condition who wanted to learn, help, and share resources.
I stood next to the car, staring uncomfortably at my old house. The music was so loud. There must have been a hundred people in there if the flashing LED lights were any indication.
"In my defense, your sister never listens to me anyway," she said. "And I did tell her you wanted a small party."
"Did you tell her I wouldn't be dressed to come to a rave?"
Jade's eyes explored every inch of my body as she drew close to me. I wore a blue dress with spaghetti straps that offered a fairly generous glimpse of my breasts. I did that mainly to torment Jade, who as of late seemed to have a real fetish for them despite their modest size. More than a handful is a waste, she'd say.
I disagreed. I regularly enjoyed at least two handfuls of hers and I certainly never let them go to waste.
"I think you're dressed perfectly," she said.
"Hey. My eyes are up here."
"I'm not looking for your eyes. I'm looking for your bra. Can't seem to find it."
I coyly grabbed Jade's hand and pressed it against my breast. She knew right away there was no bra to find. The look of lust in her eyes gave me chills.
"Well now I have to sneak you away to your old room," she said.
The sultry tone in her voice made me squeeze my thighs together. "Or we could just skip the party and go home."
"And disappoint the hundreds of people Trina invited? Pffft. Besides, I think it'll be more fun to torment each other for a while first."
Her hand was still on my breast, and she squeezed it, sending a wave of moisture down below.
"Fine," I whispered. "Then I'll leave you to wonder if a bra is the only thing I decided not to wear under this." I licked her nose playfully and slipped around her.
"You're a cruel temptress, Vega."
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry. Vega-West."
I never got tired of hearing our names like that, joined forever. And despite Jade's insistence that it was entirely my choice, we both ultimately agreed that was the best arrangement. Although I did suggest just renaming both of us Jori Wega. She didn't get the joke.
I took a deep breath as I pushed open the door, bracing myself for whatever ridiculous crowd Trina had put together. I expected to see dozens of sweaty bodies grinding on each other amidst the flashing lights and thumping bass.
To my surprise, I saw no one.
"Ummm…I know this is the right house," I said. "Hello?" I could barely hear myself over the music.
Jade let me wander around for a moment before she couldn't hide that insufferable smirk that meant she knew something. I folded my arms at her.
"What's going on?"
Jade moved to the row of light switches and flipped one. The main lights came up. The music was suddenly down to a reasonable volume.
The kitchen suddenly came to life. Trina, Andre, and Cat popped up from behind the bar in the kitchen. Robbie and Beck emerged from behind the baby grand. My parents slipped out of the basement door. All of this happened in the space of about three seconds.
"Surprise!" they all yelled at once.
"Welcome to the smallest birthday party ever," Robbie said with a smile.
"So small, it's like you don't even have any friends," Beck added.
"But you totally do, since we're all here," Cat said.
"I think she gets that, little red," Andre laughed.
I couldn't contain my relief or my smile. I turned back to Jade. "You were in on it, weren't you?"
"Me? Pfffft. Jade Vega-West doesn't get in on things, she orchestrates them."
"Aw, you changed the names?" Robbie seemed excited. "Congrats, you guys, that's so sweet! And happy birthday, Tori!"
"Yeah, happy birthday," Andre added.
"Never thought I'd see the day that happened," Beck mused as we embraced. "Tori and Jade Vega-West…man that'll take some getting used to. Good job, Tori. That's like catching the wind in a bottle."
"Watch it, Beck, bottles break pretty easily," Jade said as she pulled him into a familiar hug. "Wouldn't wanna get cut on all the glass."
"Point taken," he said. "It's good to see you, though, whatever your name is. Really."
I was glad that Jade and Beck had been able to remain such good friends. They had dated for years before I came to Hollywood Arts, and despite some messy breakups, they always seemed to find their way back to one another somehow. Ever since Jade and I got together, the two had become better friends than had ever been possible while they were dating.
Cat appeared next and threw her arms around me. "Did Jade do the birthday smack thing yet?"
Suddenly every drop of blood in my body was in my cheeks. "Um…kind of. Why?"
"Just making sure." She kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday, though. You look beautiful." She turned to Jade. "Both of you do." She hugged Jade just as tightly as she had hugged me. There was a weird energy between the three of us still. I wondered if it would ever completely go away. I read it on both of their faces, too. I wondered if anyone else could tell.
My parents were next in line for hugs and greetings. They both looked fantastic, in good health, and very much in love with each other, in a way I had never seen even growing up.
"How's it feel to be the big 3-0?" my dad asked.
"Not different at all, really," I said. "But you knew that. You were here once not that long ago."
"Longer than I'd like to admit," he said with a smile.
"But you're just as dashing as ever," my mom said, turning his head to give him a peck on the lips. "Just remember, baby, it's all downhill from here."
I thought back to a conversation we had shared years ago—a lifetime, really—on the back patio. "Maybe," I said. "But going downhill is the best part of the rollercoaster. I think this ride is just getting started."
Trina pushed between them. "Quit hogging my baby sister," she said and pulled me into her ridiculously strong arms. "How's it going, kiddo? I'm so sorry about what happened with NuSound. Just when you were getting started, too."
I squeezed her back. "It's okay. I think I did the right thing."
"You definitely did. And I know you'll find something even better someday."
Her encouragement and positive energy meant the world to me as I released her from our hug. "So this is it? There's not really a huge crowd here?"
Trina laughed. "No, I knew you'd hate making a fuss. The prank was Jade's idea."
"She said it was yours."
"That lying grunch," she huffed."Of all the people you had to marry…"
A voice coming from the back hallway drew our attention. "Oh, did we miss the surprise?" Dominic emerged with Callie, my adorable little niece, just ahead of him. "Sorry, but this one couldn't wait."
Callie ran forward. "Aunt Tori! Aunt Tori!"
I kneeled down and greeted my niece with a huge hug. She squirmed out of it almost right away. Her news just couldn't wait.
"Aunt Tori, I used the potty all on my own!"
The sheer joy in her dark eyes was infectious. "That's amazing, sweet pea! I'm so proud of you! You know, I'm pretty sure you're even younger than Mommy was when she learned."
"Don't you lie to my daughter," Trina said, flicking my ear. "You were the late bloomer between the two of us, miss didn't need a training bra until she was fourteen."
"Trina! Did you seriously just say that out loud?" I was mortified.
"Oh, she said it," Andre laughed.
"Can't unheard it now," Beck added.
Robbie was, unsurprisingly, the sympathetic one. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer."
Beck patted him on the back. "Speaking from experience, Rob?"
"Maybe."
Callie watched the back-and-forth before stepping in with her own question. "What's a training bra?"
I smiled sweetly at Trina. "Oh, I think we should let Mommy explain that one to you. Right after she tells you about the time she peed on Santa's lap."
Trina turned six shades of white as Callie looked at her mother with horror in her little eyes. "Mom! You did what?"
"I had a bladder infection!" Trina huffed.
She always used that excuse. No one bought it this time, either.
We settled in then, breaking off into several constantly-changing smaller groups to talk and catch up. Jade and I took the loveseat that replaced the left half of the red couch, and Callie situated herself right between us so she could show "Auntie Jade" the stickers she had earned for her sticker book at preschool.
"Dude, these are like, the coolest stickers ever. Is that Wonder Woman?"
"I love her! And here, smell this one!" Callie scratched one of the stickers and shoved the page in Jade's face. Jade jumped back, more startled than anything.
"Wow, that definitely smells like chocolate and not like burning asphalt," Jade said.
"What's ass-vault?"
It took all Jade had not to laugh. "That's another question for Mommy. Maybe we should write these down."
"I can't write that much yet, I'm only four!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I figured since you aced the potty thing already that you'd already written like a bunch of screenplays."
"What's a screenplay?"
"Now that one, I can answer." Jade lit up as she started talking to Callie about how to write a good story. About setup and payoff and compelling characters and a dozen other things that Callie wouldn't understand, and would probably forget in ten minutes.
I loved watching it, though. For being so afraid of kids, she took naturally to my niece. Maybe it was the lack of pressure. Callie was family, but not really Jade's responsibility, so she felt more relaxed. Either way, it saddened me to think this was as close as I'd get to seeing her with a kid of her own. I was thankful for it, of course. Just a little sad, too.
Eventually, Callie brought the stickers over to me and started rattling off what she got them for. She moved from topic to topic quickly, often speaking about three different things in one breath. I could scarcely remember ever having that much energy, but it was a breath of fresh air in a way. Few things can make you feel so old and so young as playing with a child.
I felt Jade's beautiful eyes on me as I listened to my niece. She seemed captivated, and smiled warmly when she saw me looking. Would seeing her light up ever not cause my heart to skip?
"Callie, have you been practicing your scales like I taught you?" I asked her.
Instead of answering, Callie straightened her back, thrust out her chest, and sang her scales right there on the spot. She had perfect pitch every step of the way. It was impressive.
"That was great! You must be practicing a lot." I said. She beamed, and I noticed a few teeth missing in her ornery smile. "How about our song? You practicing that, too?"
Her smile faded as a hint of nervousness set in. "Yes," she said. "I think I got it right now."
"Do you want to show me?"
She hesitated, then nodded. She hopped off my leg and stood in the center of the room as everyone quieted down. The silence seemed to make her nervous, but she pressed forward, remembering the steps I had shown her to control her breathing and center herself. The same things I taught her mother so many years ago.
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried
I nodded along with her, unable to mask my excitement. She nailed every note. It was a simple enough song, but she did so well for her age. I joined her for the chorus.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I saw something in Callie's eyes as she looked around and took in the cheers and applause from her family and friends. Her nervousness was gone, replaced with a euphoric smile her little brain probably couldn't even process at the time.
Uh-oh, I thought. I know that look.
I knew it, because it's the same look I had after the big showcase. I couldn't imagine feeling that hunger at such a young age. It sparked a passion in me that I had never gotten over, and I sensed a similar spark was just born in Callie.
Trina caught my gaze. Her smile told me she had seen it too and we shared a look of concerned excitement and understanding. "Clearly she takes after Aunt Tori," she said.
"Hush. Don't you believe it, Callie. Someday I'll tell you all about how your mommy's beautiful voice saved our team in the big talent showcase at school."
Callie looked at her mom with the kind of wide, adoring eyes only little ones are capable of. The kind of adoration that could drive a parent to tears. "You saved the whole team?"
Trina's cheeks were so red. It was precious. "Well, I helped. But it was actually all of us. Aunt Tori, Aunt Jade, Cat, Beck, Robbie, Andre…we all worked together."
"So you were all friends way back then?"
Way back then. God, was it really so long ago? Looking over everyone's faces, it just seemed like yesterday. How could it have been over ten years already?
As my gaze settled on my mom, her words echoed in my heart. Words she spoke ages ago…or maybe just a few days…
I swear I feel like I graduated high school just a few months ago…
Enjoy youth while it lasts…
Her profound wisdom shook me deeply. Even back then, she knew. Even back then, she taught me. I just didn't get it.
She felt my eyes on her and met my gaze with a warm smile and a knowing wink.
Callie's simple awe at the duration of our friendship reminded me just how thankful I was to have these people in my life. We weren't always friends…but in that moment, I believed with all my heart that we were always meant to be. The details were up to us.
"Yeah, we were all friends way back then," Jade said. "Even Robbie."
The seven of us shared a laugh that no one else in the room understood. And that was okay.
"Aunt Tori, isn't it time to open your presents yet?"
It was the third time Callie had asked. She was so worried I wasn't going to get any birthday gifts. Of course, what four-year-old would understand the simple gift of spending time with people you love? How could that compare to ripping open brightly colored paper and revealing what magical surprise was hidden inside?
"Sweetie, grownup birthdays don't usually have gifts," I said. "For us, it's just about spending time with family."
"And stuffing our faces," Dominic said, patting his stomach. "I may not need to eat for a week. Great dinner, Ma."
My mom waved off the compliment. "It was nothing."
"But Aunt Tori, how can you have a birthday and not get any presents?"
The concept of a giftless birthday seemed lost on my niece the same way it was lost on her mother for a long time.
"Oh, don't listen to Aunt Tori," Trina said. "Of course, she's got presents."
Or maybe it was still lost on her.
Something about her tone suggested she wasn't joking. "She does?" I asked. "I mean…I do?"
"Wouldn't be much of a birthday without them. And I think we should start with mine."
It had been a few years since I spent a birthday with my family, so I had no idea what to expect. Even then, I didn't expect what happened next. Trina retrieved my dad's old acoustic guitar from its stand next to the baby grand. She took a seat on the edge of the raised floor.
"I just want to remind you that you're the one who set the precedent for this kind of gift," Trina said as she tuned the guitar. "I wish I could say I helped write this, but I can barely sing, much less write a song. But you can thank your wife for helping me settle on a song. I hope you like it."
All eyes fell on Trina. Callie settled into my lap, watching her mother with rapt attention. She was just as excited as I was to hear what Trina had come up with. She didn't sing often, even after she gained some genuine confidence in herself after our final showcase. This was a rare treat and a beautiful gift.
She began plucking out a tune on the guitar and I immediately recognized the song. Halestorm, I mused. Of course Jade would suggest that. And although her voice was tentative at first, she didn't falter once.
Found one of your old mix tapes
Remember listening to grace, I do
We were drivin to DC
I was drunk in your backseat, I know
The shyness slowly faded. I could see the razor-sharp focus in her eyes as she played the guitar. She had made so much progress with that since I last heard her.
Nothing will ever be
Like when we were seventeen
The stars will rearrange
The sun will fade away
Everyone will change, but we will still remain
And outlast the pyramids
Heading into the chorus, Trina's voice expanded and grew until it filled the entire room, creating her own gravity and pulling us all in.
I will feel you
I will see you
I will hear you
After the silence
I lost myself in the words and the melody, in the flawless notes of the guitar and the powerful vocals. Trina swept us all away on an emotional journey that no one expected.
Remember all the frilly nights
Driving down on ninety-five
Singing in a smokey room
When we had everything to lose, I do
And when we had some room to breathe
You said that you would marry me
But even if we never do
I will always be with you, I know
That nothing will ever be
Like when we were twenty-three
Man's war will rage
And blue will turn to grey
The lyrics moved me in a way they hadn't before. The painful reality that nothing would ever be like it was, married the tentative hope that despite all that, we would somehow persist and even prevail. That our bonds would remain long after everything else has turned to dust.
Everything will change
But we will still remain
And outlast the pyramids
I will feel you
I will see you
I will hear you
After the silence
Trina's gift was so much more than a song. It was a vision, an awakening, an epiphany for which I was deeply grateful. I'd been coming to it all evening, but this finally pulled back the veil for me.
The oceans can burn for all I care
And in the ashes I'll meet you there
I know someday the moon will blow away
And all flesh will decay
Everything will change
But we will still remain and outlast the pyramids
The guitar fell silent as Trina's powerful voice carried the final chorus and brought our emotional journey to a poignant end.
I will feel you
I will see you
I will hear you
And I will keep you
After the silence
After the silence
Silence
As the final echo died, the room was utterly quiet. It took Trina a few moments to recover. I was stunned. What could I say to such a beautiful gift? As she stood and replaced the guitar, I joined her.
"Thank you," I said. "That was…transformative."
She laughed awkwardly, as if she weren't sure how to accept the compliment. "I was just aiming for on-key, but I'm glad you liked—"
I pulled her into my arms and held her as tightly as I could. Words felt clunky and awkward, but I could make her feel how much I appreciated her. And I know she did, because her answering hug said the same thing to me.
Until it went on just a little too long. "Okay, people are staring," she said, poking me in the side. "Weirdo."
I released her, but kept a hand in mine. "You're the weirdo," I said. "And the best sister anyone could ask her."
Dominic stole her away for his own embrace.
"Amazing," he whispered.
One by one, everyone else voiced their agreement. By the end of the parade of compliments, Trina's eyes and cheeks were both hopelessly red, a mixture of humility and a splash of very hard-earned pride.
Beck was the only one who didn't say anything, although he gave her a slight nod during a brief moment of eye contact. The two had become awkward and kind of estranged since our wedding when, believe it or not, they both got really drunk and hooked up.
Yep. Beck and Trina. At my wedding. I did not see that coming.
Trina, surprisingly, saw it for what it was. She'd been crazy about Beck for years, like pretty much every female at Hollywood Arts. But after they slept together, she seemed to lose interest almost immediately.
The opposite was true for Beck. He had always found Trina self-absorbed and abrasive, even after the final showcase. But her passion for Arts for All had lit a fire within her and Beck found that nascent drive irresistible. To hear him tell it, he was absolutely positive for the space of about seventy-four minutes that Trina was the love of his life.
I don't suppose it was a coincidence that it was the same seventy-four minutes they were…well…you know.
Knowing that Beck Oliver had been rejected and heartbroken by Trina was something most of us were still adjusting to. Except for Dominic. He was blissfully unaware of their brief, torrid coupling. In fact, he liked Beck a lot. They had gotten into the habit of going to monster truck shows together.
I digress. To my surprise, there really were gifts. My parents started things off with a DVD copy of the big showcase where I first sang Make it Shine. It was the performance that got me into Hollywood Arts and changed my life forever.
And it was so weird.
Callie insisted we watch it right then and there. What a surreal moment. I had my memories of the show, of course. I remembered most of what went through my mind on stage, but to see it objectively and with the benefit of hindsight was just bizarre. The costume, my hair, the quality of my voice, the look of fear that I wore just under the surface…until that moment, those memories were just vague shadows in my mind.
The only thing that looked or felt familiar to me was the moment, after I finished singing, when I realized I never wanted to do anything else again. The moment that spark was born was exactly how I remembered it, and seeing it all these years later just made me ache for it even more.
Callie proclaimed that she loved it. "You had to do that to get to go to school?" she asked.
"That's right. Hollywood Arts was a performing arts school, so to go there you had to demonstrate some kind of talent. Singing, dancing, acting, writing—"
"Comedy," Robbie added.
"Making a plank of wood talk like he was from the hood," Jade added with a shitty grin aimed squarely at him.
"Wow," Callie was clearly mystified by this amazing place. "Can I go there?"
Mine wasn't the only heart to break at that question. "Unfortunately, they had to close down," Trina said sadly. "They're not around anymore."
"But don't worry," Jade added. "We can all teach you everything we learned from there. After all, we learned from the best."
My wife surprised me yet again. I took her hand in mine. "Absolutely."
"Okay but can we finish your presents first?"
Callie was definitely my sister's daughter.
Cat brought me a beautiful package with elaborate ribbons and bows. It was bright pink, although the texture of the paper made it seem to change shades as it moved through the light. I felt bad unwrapping it. She must have spent an hour on it.
"Wanna help?" I asked Callie.
That's the moment she was waiting for. She helped me shred that pretty, pink package in a matter of seconds. Inside was a plain brown box. Within that, a handful of items that seemed well-suited for travel: a neck pillow similar to Cat's own that somehow always remained cool, a pink sleep mask with built-in earbuds, and a selection of my favorite bath oils in travel size. It would be a wonderful, handy gift for vacations.
"Thank you, Cat, this is all amazing."
She gave me a hug and I had to stop myself from inhaling too deeply. Even still, I shook with a subtle chill at feeling her pressed into me.
Robbie was next; he presented me with a package wrapped almost as elaborately as Cat's, though in white and powder blue instead of pink. "You wrapped it yourself, didn't you?" I asked.
"Yes, and thanks for noticing. I found this great new way to fold the paper so you only need one piece of tape. Only took five tries to get it right."
Beck leaned over to Robbie. "Rob, man, some details aren't as interesting as you think they are."
"I liked it, Robbie," Cat said. The old friends—and possibly exes? No one was sure about that—shared a cute smile.
Callie helped me tear through Robbie's gift as well. It was a very high-end wireless microphone with a set of Bluetooth earbuds. "Robbie, this is awesome," I said.
"Those earbuds are noise-canceling. They'll connect to any modern sound system and they give direct feedback from the mic."
"You mean I don't have to rely on the on-stage monitors?"
His grin was infectious. "That's right. And the audio quality is crystal clear and real-time, unlike most Bluetooth headsets."
I turned the package over in my hands, and noticed the company name. My heart leapt in my chest. "Wait…distributed by Rex Powers MusiTech?"
Robbie's pale complexion was suddenly as red as Cat's hair. "Yeah. It's our first official product, but I wanted you to have one before anyone else. It goes live on a dozen online music retailers next week."
"Wait, you designed this?" Jade asked.
"Yeah. Been working on it for a while."
"That's so cool, Robbie," Cat said. "Let me know when it's available, I'll make sure to tell my producer. I bet he'll get a bunch for the studio."
"For real, me too," Andre added. "I know a lot of people who'd love this."
Robbie was positively glowing. I'm not sure he expected such a great reaction, much less to make some sales. He had grown so much; he was more confident than I'd ever known him to be. I don't think any of us even knew he was working on anything like this, much less that he started his own business and managed to launch an entire product line.
"You know, I bet that would work well on-set, too," Jade said thoughtfully. "Would it work with a shotgun mic?"
"I've actually got a separate model for that, but yeah."
"Wow." Jade didn't use that word often, unless it was to preface a sarcastic rant. "I'm really impressed, Shapiro. I'll pass it on to Liz at Grim Productions. I know half a dozen boom guys who would love this."
"Thanks, Jade."
That may have been the sweetest exchange between those two I'd ever witnessed. It deserved a kiss, which I quickly and stealthily delivered to Jade's cheek.
I loved Robbie's gift; it would have been great if I were still working on an album. Come to think of it, Cat's gift would have been really beneficial for going on tour or promotional trips. They were so thoughtful, but I couldn't help feel the sting of disappointment that I wouldn't be able to make full use of them.
"You guys talk too much," Callie said, exasperated. "Where's the next present?"
My niece had her priorities, and talking about impressive new technology was not among them.
"I guess I'm up," Beck said, handing me a modestly wrapped gift. This one had no ribbons or bows, and bore the hallmarks of having been wrapped by someone who didn't wrap gifts often. That meant he made the effort to do it himself, which I appreciated.
As Callie and I (mostly Callie) tore into this package, she let out a cry of excitement. "It's like a PearPad!"
She wasn't entirely wrong. I'd seen these things before: they were among a new trend of specialty tablets catering to specific niches. I bought one for Jade last year that was designed for writers. You could write on it like an actual tablet using the included smart pencil, and it would convert it into whatever format you chose. PearPads could do that, too, but the aesthetic and design of this was more like normal paper, to make it feel more natural to write on. It was also far lighter than a PearPad.
Beck's gift was essentially this same concept, but applied to songwriting. The screen was customizable; by default, it served as blank staff paper, but there was also just blank standard paper for lyrics or a hybrid mode for both. And it was Bluetooth enabled, obviously, so Robbie's earbuds would work perfectly with it. It played back the notes in real-time using a variety of instruments.
In short, it was a songwriter's dream tool and, when taken with everything else, comprised an absolutely amazing set that would have been perfect for my career with NuSound.
"Beck, this is great," I said. "Really incredible. Everything has been, thank you guys so much. I kind of wish I hadn't bailed on NuSound, now. These would be great for that."
Andre handed me a long, narrow envelope. "Well you haven't seen mine yet," he said. "It ain't some fancy new technology, but it comes from the heart."
I did not doubt that. More than anyone else I'd met at Hollywood Arts, Andre and I connected over music, which led to a rich, deep friendship between us. He was always the first person I went to (after Jade, of course) anytime I was working on a song or needed some advice. If it weren't for his encouragement, I'd have left Hollywood Arts that first day. Hell, I'd have never even gone at all, since he's the one who convinced Lane to put me in the showcase in Trina's place when her tongue swelled up.
My mind was distracted by those happy memories, and I didn't fully realize what I was looking at until the words "recording contract" jumped out at me. Confused, my eyes flicked to the top of the page. The company name was unfamiliar: HA Records.
"What's HA Records?"
Everyone was staring at me: my parents, Trina, Jade, Robbie, Cat, Beck, Andre. It was a weird moment until I figured out that they all knew what this was.
My hands were suddenly shaking as I looked at the paper again.
HA Records is pleased to extend this offer of an exclusive recording contract to Tori Vega…
Three-album deal, with the option to extend…
Signed President and CEO…Andre Harris…
The smile I found waiting on Andre's face was enormous. "Well?"
I couldn't speak. I couldn't find a single word. Until I could. "This is…you? You're starting your own label?"
"Started. We're official as of this week. And I want you to be our first artist."
My eyes welled up. I could barely see. "You're serious?"
"You know how seriously I take my music. Who the hell else would I want with me on this thing? Come on, just say yes so we can get to hugging."
"Yes, yes, of course! Yes!"
We were on our feet in seconds. Andre lifted me off my feet and spun me around. This was a dream come true. I couldn't believe it.
After he let me go, I found Jade right there waiting. "Guess the world's going to have to endure your insufferably cheerful pop music after all," she said. She pulled me close. "I'm so proud of you. You deserve this more than anyone I know."
We fell into a kiss that made every nerve in my body fire at the same. I was shaking so badly and Jade's tongue brushing against my lips dialed that up to a hundred.
"What's the big deal? It's just a piece of paper."
Our kiss ended with us laughing in each other's faces at Callie's remark.
Andre's phone went off. He smiled at the incoming call. "I just texted my partner that you accepted. I think she wants to talk to you."
He handed me his phone. The name on the screen of the incoming video call brought a smile to my face. A lot of things suddenly made sense.
"Seriously?"
He smiled. "Hey, I'm as surprised as you. But she's a powerhouse. She really helped me get things off the ground."
"Who is it?" Jade slid up next to me and glanced at the phone. She rolled her eyes. "Of course. You must have left that detail out when you texted me about all this."
"Sure I did. You think I'm stupid?"
I elbowed Jade playfully as I answered the call. "Hi, Tara."
The blond beamed. "Hey! I'm so excited, Andre said you accepted!"
"Of course I did, are you kidding? I'm still shaking."
"Well I want to assure you, unlike some other companies, we've got your back 100%," Tara said. "And we want you, not some focus-group-inspired list of checkboxes. I've been watching your socials; you've got a lot of fans who want an album. And it'll be your album. You and Andre."
I wiped my eyes again; it seemed like they were never going to stop.
"I don't know what to say."
"You've already said yes, that's plenty for one day," Tara said. "But…there is one thing I have to ask of you. I was able to get you booked for a single live performance, but it's tomorrow."
Wow. That was fast.
Jade tilted the phone so she was in the frame. "You know we have a wedding next weekend, right? Don't go wiping her out with a bunch of stuff up front."
Tara forced a pleasant smile. "Hi, Jade. Yes, I know about the wedding, since I was invited to it."
Jade shot Cat a very intense look. "Oh, how fun that will be," she said flatly.
Cat offered a sincerely innocent smile. "Forgiveness, Jade. Remember your wedding? Gwen and Ruby?"
"Don't worry, I just have this one thing for her, tomorrow. Nothing else until after the wedding."
Jade huffed. "Fine. You have my blessing." She made a show of kissing me on the cheek in front of Tara before withdrawing. "Someone give me some alcohol."
"Where am I going?" I asked.
Cat giggled nearby.
"It's a web show actually," Tara said. "They broadcast out of Seattle. I'm pretty sure you're familiar with it."
Cat's giggling turned into an uncontrollable laugh. "It's iCarly!" she said. "We'll fly out tomorrow to do the show and so I can get Sam, then we'll be back tomorrow night! We're gonna spend the whole week down here with you guys."
I couldn't think of anything more perfect. "That sounds amazing. Thank you so much."
"I've gotta go, but I'll see you next weekend. Have fun on the show. Oh, and happy birthday!"
The call ended, and I found a lot of very happy faces waiting for me. Jade thrust a glass of champagne into my hands. I noticed everyone else already had theirs.
"Already a diva, making us all wait to toast to her," Trina said with a smile. "Okay, who wants to—"
"I do, obviously," Jade said as she stepped forward. "To my amazing wife and best friend, who every day inspires me with her courage, tenacity, tenderness, and selflessness. She actually makes me want to be a better human being. I can't believe I'm going go here, but…" She raised her glass. "To Tori: may you shine even brighter the next thirty years as you did for the first thirty."
"Hear, hear," everyone else echoed.
Everyone drank but me. I was too busy wiping away those damn tears.
It was late when we finally got home. It felt so good to slip off my shoes. I always loved how our carpet felt between my toes, so soft and fluffy.
"That was so much fun," I said. "Thank you. It was a beautiful party."
Jade smiled, but there was a nervousness to it. "It was mostly your sister's doing. But I'll take the credit."
I lost myself in her eyes for a moment, and grew ravenous for a taste of those full, red lips. I pulled her close to me. "I think it's time for this birthday girl to unwrap her favorite thing," I said, reaching behind her to get at her zipper.
To my surprise, she gently stepped back and took my hands in hers. "Funny you say it that way," she said. "Since I didn't give you my gift yet."
My heart melted even as my frustration grew at not being able to kiss her yet. Couldn't she see how badly I wanted her? "I don't need a gift," I said. "I have you. So let me unwrap you already."
My lips pressed into hers, and I took in the scent of her skin. Her body yielded to mine for a heartbeat, but she pulled herself back. I tried to follow, but she gently held me back.
"You're pissing off the birthday girl," I whispered.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Just let me do this one thing and then I'm all yours."
I wanted to argue with her, but she seemed so genuinely nervous that I nodded. "Okay."
Jade took my wrist and led me through the living room.
"We don't have a janitor's closet if that's what you're looking for," I said with a giggle.
She didn't respond; rather, she led me down our hallway, past the bedroom, to the very next door; her office door. She swallowed hard, started to speak, but stumbled.
I cupped her cheek with my hand. "What is it? Just tell me."
She tried to speak again. It wasn't very often when words failed Jade, and I'd never seen her struggle quite like this. Not since the balcony in New York on the worst night of our entire marriage. But there was nothing hidden here, no sense that it was something bad. Just too much for her to articulate. She opened the door and I followed her in.
The room looked as it always did. Her desk sat in the corner, facing the door. Behind that, was a workstation with multiple monitors that she often used in editing her films. Shelves with her various awards lined two of the walls and full-sized autographed posters of The Scissoring and The Scissoring 2 occupied a third. Cat's beautiful gift of the actual scissors from that first film rested in a backlit case in front of the posters. Between the posters was a mannequin wearing the dress our friend Danielle wore in The Scissoring 2; it was an exact replica of the dress from the original film, down to every detail.
The only thing that was out of place was something in the center of her desk. Or rather, two somethings.
"You know…I've been thinking about moving all this stuff downstairs," Jade said. "I mean, it's kind of loud up here. And it'd be better to have my workspace near the theater down there anyway."
I slowly approached the desk. My heart was racing. I had suspected what was sitting there from the moment I walked in. My approach confirmed it.
"That way I can focus a little better. And I have some cool ideas for how to light the space. Take all my movie stuff and make it into its own little area. Really, that space would be a lot better suited for me."
My shaking hands reached for her desk. There was a pamphlet sitting there that read, "Bauman's Fertility Clinic." But it was the items that sat on top of it that raised the lump in my throat.
"Of course, that would leave this room empty. And it would be weird, having an empty room right next to ours."
I picked up the tiny blue and pink baby hats. A wet spot appeared on the pamphlet as my tears fell.
"I mean it's a huge room, we should do something with it."
Under the pamphlet was a medical report. A few lines were highlighted in blue and pink. It showed the results of a fertility test…for Jade.
Perfectly healthy and functional reproductive system…
More than suitable to carry to full-term…
"Any ideas what we could do with it?
The love I felt in my heart for this woman overwhelmed me. I couldn't even bring myself to play along with her.
"Are you…is this…? You'll…for me…?"
She smiled nervously and shrugged. "Of course. Anything."
"But…I thought you were afraid of being a terrible parent. Like your mom."
"I am. But looking back, I've been afraid a lot. I was afraid of my feelings for you. Afraid to tell you about them. Afraid to marry you. Afraid to direct the Scissoring sequel. Pretty much every single one of the most important moments of my life terrified the living hell out of me. And considering how afraid I am of this…I figure it's probably the biggest, best thing I'll ever do."
I dropped the papers and the hats and walked toward Jade.
"Besides, I read that your boobs actually get bigger when you're pregnant so how fun will that be? And—"
I don't know what she was going to say next. My lips cut her off. My body shook with the most intense desire I'd ever felt, a perfect blend of desperate, carnal lust and profoundly emotional love. I guided her over to the couch by the window. The moonlight flooded that corner of the room with a soft, ethereal glow. I sat on the couch, with Jade still standing in front of me. I slid the zipper of her dress down and it fell, revealing a crimson bra and black panties.
I pulled her close to me and kissed her abs as I slid her panties off. I caressed her legs gently, running my hands up and down each thigh as my lips pressed into her abs over and over. She was willing to give up this flawless, perfect body so that she worked tirelessly on maintaining, all to give me the family I'd always wanted. It meant the world to me.
I gently lifted her left leg and placed her foot on the couch next to me. I kissed her thigh slowly, relishing the taste of her skin and the gentle gasps she let out as my lips ventured closer and closer…
Finally, I slid to the floor in front of the couch, which provided me with the perfect angle. My tongue lovingly caressed Jade's slit; I relished the taste of her arousal as it slipped between her folds. She twitched and shook as I pushed deeper, stiffening my tongue and jabbing it inside of her. Her hands found their way into my hair, pulling tightly each time I touched one of her favorite spots.
My hands kept busy, caressing her thighs and her ass and her abs and back again before I finally brought a finger to her slit to help me in my work. My tongue slid to Jade's clit as the finger slipped deep inside of her. I reached and curled and found that spot I knew would make her scream. She didn't disappoint. She began grinding, squeezing my hair even tighter. She grew wetter by the second, and I welcomed every drop even as I begged for more with every thrust of my finger.
All too soon, her body went rigid and I found myself drowning in wave after wave of Jade's sweetness. I opened my mouth wide, eagerly accepting all she had to offer. The taste of her sent waves of moisture between my own legs. I'd been squeezing my thighs together since I slipped down to the floor.
Jade offered me a hand as she lowered her leg, pulling me to my feet. We kissed, and I knew she tasted herself on my tongue. The kiss became desperate. We moved from the couch; Jade gently pushed into the front side of her desk. She took half a step back and gently lowered the straps of my dress. It fell to my waist, revealing my naked breasts. She kissed me again, taking each breast in her hand and squeezing gently. She kissed her way down to each, pulling my nipples between her teeth, nibbling, sucking. She continued down, kissing my stomach, my belly button, each touch of her lips sending warm chills to every part of my body.
She gently pulled my dress the rest of the way down, revealing a matching set of blue lace panties. I trembled with anticipation as she pulled those down, too. I gently lifted myself onto the edge of her desk as she bit into my inner thigh. She dragged her tongue slowly—so very slowly—up my thigh. When her tongue finally reached my slit, I was soaked and shaking.
The feeling as her tongue slipped into my folds was indescribable. I groaned and laid back on my arms, knocking over the little cup that held her pencils. My world spun; I glanced down and watched Jade work, the hunger in her eyes as her tongue inside of me just making me wetter. She glanced up and made eye contact and my body shook with chills again.
A finger reached deep within in; I felt it enter and felt it curl forward, hitting one of my deepest erogenous zones. Jade smirked; she knew she had me. As she pumped her finger faster, she licked her lips and groaned. I tried to say something but my higher brain functions were being suppressed by that damned skillful finger.
She slid in a second as she licked the outside of my lips, then drove her tongue directly to my clit. I watched as she lustily attacked it, licking, flicking, groaning, glancing at me with that insatiable look in her eyes. Her fingers moved faster. I couldn't hold back. My arms gave out. I arched my back across her desk, groaning incoherently as I went. My arms hit some papers on her desk. I dug my heels into its very edge to brace myself as the orgasm hit me hard and fast. Jade was merciless, sucking every drop from me as I came down from the high.
She stood as I struggled to sit up on the desk. We kissed, tasting each other on our tongues, working ourselves up into an even bigger frenzy. I wrapped my legs around her, she slid her hands under me, and she carried me into the bedroom.
The sun was coming up by the time I finally curled up next to Jade to let both of us sleep. I could have made love to her for a month straight and still not come close to expressing how much I cherished her and how special she was to me. Even so, I was so thankful to be able to spend the rest of my life trying.
"Are you watching?"
"Of course I am."
My cheeks were warm. "Are ya naked?"
"I can be, if you want. Might get some odd looks from your parents, though."
And now they were warm from embarrassment. "I didn't realize you invited them over."
"Everyone's here to watch your big premiere performance," Jade said.
It was so good to hear her voice. Sure I only left six hours ago, and yes I'd be back with her in another four, but I physically ached to hold her and I desperately wanted her to be here with me.
"Oh, how was your meeting?" I asked.
"It was fine," she said. "No big deal, I'll tell you when you're home. I promise."
"Can't wait. I love you."
I could hear Jade's smile. "God you're so sappy," she said teasingly. "I love you, too."
I slipped back inside the iCarly studio to watch the show. It was such a nerdy thrill to be able to watch it live. I really loved its original run. The new stuff had been okay, too, but kind of erratic and not as much fun. Of course, I never mentioned that to Carly. No reason to stress her out over nothing. Besides, those days were over now, too.
"I think you should name it Sally," Carly said, tugging on her pigtails. "That's a good name for a squirrel."
Next to her, Sam Puckett was predictably exasperated. Or at least, her character was.
"Miss, I am plumb tired of explaining to you that there is nary a squirrel, nor any other rodent, upon my face."
"Maybe it's a corn dog."
Sam put her hands on either side of Carly's face. "Miss. Get help. You've got all the brains of a box of doorknobs."
The "cowboy" then hopped off the stool and left, leaving the idiot farm girl alone to twirl her hair. "I bet it would taste better with ketchup." She grabbed the bottle of ketchup from the bar and hopped out of frame. I watched the empty frame on Freddie's laptop as, next to me, Sam and Carly read out their lines.
"What in tarnation? Here now, you crazy idjit, put that away!"
"Ketchup makes everything better!"
"Git off me!"
The pair jumped back into frame. "And, scene!" Carly said. They laughed. "And this has been The Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thinks His Mustache is a Corndog."
Cat giggled next to me. She had slipped in the door a few moments after I had. Normally she didn't come to the apartment for the tapings, but she insisted on being there live to support my first performance. She was really the sweetest.
Let me tell you, it was so surreal getting to see Sam and Carly together again.
In the months since she came home, Sam had slowly settled back into her old life. She felt listless, though, and wanted to do something positive for people. At Cat's rather brilliant suggestion, Sam took some online classes and earned a certificate that allowed her to get a job as a guidance counselor at Ridgeway. She was still studying, but she was able to hold the position after getting her clearances.
Apparently, she was kind of a legend there, and maybe not in the best way possible. A lot of her old pranks were still talked about, even though the entire staff had basically turned over by now. In a surprising twist, though, the pranks made her very approachable to the kids, who kind of saw her as "one of them." As she tells it, one day they all agreed she go back to iCarly because she could reach even more kids that way. Framed in that fashion, she told Carly she'd come back, if she could do some positive things for "her" kids that watched, in addition to the silliness.
Sam's return pushed iCarly's viewership through the roof, easily blowing away their best numbers back in the early aughts. She brought with her a slightly different energy; still over the top, but with a splash of personal growth and respect that reflected her personal growth. At least in most cases.
"Well, that's it for this episode of iCarly. I'm Carly!"
"Um…Carls. We have a guest."
"We do? Oh. Who?"
Sam stifled a laugh at the confused look on Carly's face. "That chick over there. Remember?"
Sam pointed at me. Carly smiled. "Oh, right! Shelby Marx! Hi, Shelby!"
Sam pressed the back of her hand to Carly's forehead. "Are you feeling okay? You seem a little off."
"I'm fine. Will you stop that? What are you doing?"
"That's not Shelby Marx!"
"What do you mean? It looks just like her. Are you seriously gonna tell me there's a chick out there who looks just like Shelby Marx but isn't Shelby Marx? That's crazy talk."
Sam shook her head and turned to the camera. "While I go and get Carly's head examined, please welcome our special musical guest and the world's next pop sensation I assume, Tori Vega-West!"
Sam dragged Carly off camera. Cat squeezed my hand. "Go get 'em," she whispered.
I know I've said it before, but that girl smelled so good.
As the music began, I grabbed the mic—the one Robbie had given me the day before—and started clapping along. "This song is for my amazing wife and partner, Jade, who never fails to cheer me up."
You get me out of my seat, it's like I've been in bed for a week
I've been slippin' n' slidin' all over the place, and nobody cares
I'm such a disgrace
You get me out of my mood, that's something only you can do,
Cause I feel like I'm home when I'm in your arms
And that's why I need you to...
Cheer me up,
Come on dance with me,
And you take my hand.
Cheer me up
Even if we're the only ones dancing
Cheer me up
Please won't you cheer me up
Even if we're the only ones dancing
I reached out and grabbed Carly's arm, dragging her back on camera and encouraging her to dance with me. She caught on quickly and joined in.
Give me a reason to smile, the kind that will last for a while,
Like only you know how, make it OK now,
You got your ways how to make this girl's day
Carly grabbed Sam and pulled her out. I was fangirling so hard even as I sang. I knew them both for years, and I'd even been on the show once before, sort of, but something about this moment just felt so incredible.
It's the magic that's in your touch; it makes everything mean so much...
The poetry in your eyes is enough in itself to take me to a high...
You take me to a high
You gotta cheer me up...
Cheer me up,
Come on dance with me,
And you take my hand.
Cheer me up
Even if we're the only ones dancing
Cheer me up
Please won't you cheer me up
Even if we're the only ones dancing
The song wound down, and Carly and Sam flanked me, squeezing me between them.
"That was so cool," Sam said. "Watch this girl, she's gonna be huge! And remember, you can see her in like a million horror movies out there, too, including my personal favorite, The Scissoring 2." She added quickly, "And no, it's not what you're thinking. Don't be gross."
"I totally thought it was the other thing the first time I heard about it," Carly said. "Anyway, for real this time, this has been iCarly! I'm Carly!"
"I'm Sam."
The pair looked at me. "And I'm…not done yet.
Carly looked at me, legitimately confused. "Wait, you're not really Shelby Marx, are you? Sam, you're not doing one of those twin things, are you?"
Sam shrugged. "We're off-script here, Carls."
Freddie turned the camera around and smirked. "For once, I'm the one who's in on it," he said, then turned it back on me.
I smiled bashfully. "Yeah, sorry, but when am I going to have the chance to do this again?" I looked into the camera lens. "See, Carly and I first met like, a lifetime ago at a party. And the deejay there did some karaoke—"
"Because for some reason, everyone does karaoke around these people," Sam interjected.
"Anyway, Carly and I did a song together and I always said if I ever had the chance to do that again, I'd have to take it." I looked to the petite brunette, whose confusion had faded into a beautiful smile. "So…what do you say? For old times' sake?"
Carly glanced back and forth between Freddie and me. "I assume you have the music already cued up."
"Obviously," Freddie said.
I gave Carly my best smile, cheekbones dialed up to the max. She blushed.
"Someone give me a mic, then!"
The familiar up-tempo beat of Carly's theme song kicked in. Carly shot me a look before she started singing as if she couldn't believe I got this one by her. She sang beautifully.
I know you see
Somehow the world will change for me
And be so wonderful
I stepped in next, my heart racing. I was so excited, it was ridiculous.
Here I am, once again
Feeling lost, but now and then
Carly put her arm around my waist as she sang the next part.
Live life, breathe air
I know somehow we're gonna get there
And feel so wonderful
I squeezed back as my next part came up.
When you figure out how
You're lost in the moment, you disappear
As she sang her next part, I slipped off-camera for a second.
It's all for real
I'm telling you just how I feel
I grabbed Cat's wrist and pulled.
"Wait, Tori, I'm not even warmed up!"
I raised an eyebrow at her. "You're gonna pass this up?"
"Come on, kitten," Sam said. She threw her a mic. "For me?"
Cat's smile exploded. "Always, for you."
We slid back behind the camera just in time. Cat's worries were nonsense, of course; she sounded perfect. Better than perfect. We didn't sing together nearly enough anymore, and it was so refreshing and exciting to share in this moment. I wished Jade were there, too, but I knew she was watching. And being insanely jealous.
You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action
You're never gonna fade
You'll be the main attraction
Sam and Carly raised their voices together. I have to admit, Sam's voice was great. Excellent power and control. She probably could have made it as a singer too, with the right management.
Wake up, the members of my nation
It's your time to be
Not a fantasy
Just remember me
When it turns out right
'Cause there's no chance unless you take one
And the time to see
That if you live in your imagination
Tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination
Cat changed things up and sang the next line with Carly. Something passed between them that was far beyond me, but there was definitely some meaning and context at work.
See the brighter side of every situation
In my victory
Just remember me
When I make it shine
Leave it all to me
Leave it all to me
When I make it shine
Leave it all to me
When you live in your imagination
Leave it all to me
When I make it shine
We were dancing like crazy, changing up partners, and trying not to laugh as we went into what I always thought of as the "tug-of-war" part.
Leave it
Make it
Leave it
Make it
Leave it
Make it
When I make it shine
Just leave it all to me
As we hit our respective finishing notes, Cat slipped between us and added some lyrics none of us understood.
You and me, we're gonna be just fine
The loft was completely silent as we stared at Cat in confusion. She smiled sheepishly and looked at Sam. "What, you're the only one who can make the theme song joke?"