disclaimer: I own nothing

Author's Note: This chapter was hard to write and I didn't want it to get excessive, so it's shorter than the others. Also, if I scared off my reviewer with my previous author's notes, sorry. I was just excited to have someone reading this.

Enjoy this chapter!

The next day, Queenie and Jacob went out to do some exploring of the city. They had invited Newt and Tina to come along, but Newt felt it was best to give them some time alone together.

It was near evening now. Queenie and Jacob had promised to be back in time for -and to most likely make- dinner after they looked for somewhere else to stay. Newt wasn't too worried about it, even though he had thought the same thing the previous day. Tina was upstairs, sleeping.

She hadn't slept well the night before and Newt knew she needed the rest. He went up to check on her.

When he entered their bedroom, he saw instantly that Tina was in the throes of a nightmare. She was jerking, breathing hard, noises scraping out of her throat. Newt sometimes felt her mind twisted her memories of what had happened, making them even worse than when it had.

"Tina." He shook her, grabbing ahold of her wrists gently as she thrashed. "Tina, wake up."

He lowered one hand with the intention to shake her.

That was when Tina's eyes flew open and the hand he'd released shot out, grabbing blindly at the nightstand, probably for her wand. She'd left it on his side, however, and grabbed the water glass that was sitting there instead. Newt didn't have time to react before she smashed it into the side of his head, hard enough to shatter it. Pain sliced through Newt's skull and spots danced across his vision as water showered down on him and the blanket. His knees almost buckled. He was pretty certain that Tina screamed when she registered what she'd done.

"Newt! Newt-" Tina seemed incapable of saying anything else. Newt's vision swam back into focus as something warmer than the water ran down the side of his head. "Oh my-"

"I'm fine, Tina. I'm-" Newt started, knowing that he looked anything but reassuring covered in water and glass with a gash to the side of his head.

Tina shot out of the bed, back to the wall. She seemed almost afraid to be close to him, as if she thought she would hurt him if she was to close.

"I'm sorry."

Tina was shaking, Newt realized. Hurting him seemed to have shaken her deeply. Tears were in her eyes. Before Newt could say anything, Tina bolted past him and out of the room.

"Tina!"

Newt followed her, but was only fast enough to see her close the bathroom door and hear her lock it. He went over to it and knocked. He could have gotten his wand out and unlocked the door, but to do so seemed like a complete betrayal of trust.

"Tina, it's okay." Newt tried, hand on the knob, silently hoping she would unlock it and let him in. "Tina." he tried again, resting his forehead against the door. "Tina, I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I'm not angry."

There was no response, but Newt heard a hitched breath through the door. He imagined Tina sitting on the other side, tears running down her face.

"I just want to talk to you. See if you're all right."

"Go away, Newt." Tina's voice was muffled, but Newt heard it crack.

"I'm not going to do that, Tina."

There was no response. The blood trickled down Newt's neck. He was aware, vaguely, that he should probably heal it, especially if he wanted Tina to open the door. But he didn't. He tried to think of what to say to Tina. Hurting him was one of the only things Newt had seen shake Tina and he had no idea how to respond to it. Her guilt was misplaced. He understood why it happened. He wasn't angry, even though this time she had drawn blood.

"Open the door. Please." Newt said quietly.

Tina still said nothing.

Newt closed his eyes when he heard a sob on the other side of the door. He stayed there, head against the door, waiting. That was all he could do. When he heard Queenie and Jacob come home, he went downstairs without thinking.

"Oh my God, Newt. What happened?" Jacob asked, moving towards him.

Newt realized his mistake as soon as Jacob said this. The blood from his head had mostly dried now, sticky to the touch, but it was still there. From the look on Queenie's face, Newt knew she instantly knew what had happened. She started towards the stairs. Newt held up his hand to stop her.

"Do you think she'll talk to you, Queenie?" he asked quietly.

Queenie looked startled and started to saying something, but Newt interrupted.

"Will she?"

"I don't...I don't think so." Queenie's eyebrows creased with concern.

"Then please don't come upstairs. Stay down here, go in with the creatures, I don't care. Just please. Let me try to handle this."

Newt looked at the two of them. Queenie looked like she wanted to argue. Jacob took Queenie's arm.

"Come on, Queen." he said gently.

Newt waited until they were gone, then went back upstairs. He knocked on the door again.

"Tina, please." It was all he said. It was a plea. "Please."

It was another minute or so before the door unlocked, opened sligthly. Newt waited a moment, then slipped into the room. Tina was sitting up against the wall, eyes red and wet, and she just stared at him. Another tear dripped down her face. Newt's heart twisted at the sight. He closed the door, knelt in front of her.

"Tina, are you all right?" he asked quietly.

Tina laughed, but it was the furthest thing from amused. It was pain.

"Am I all right? Newt, I hurt you."

"Tina-"

"I smashed your head with a glass. I cracked it open."

Tina reached out her hand to touch his head, then jerked it back. Newt saw that her hand was cut and bleeding. But he said nothing about that, not right then.

"I don't mind." Newt said quietly.

Tina laughed again, but this time it turned into a sob. Newt knelt there, not sure what to do. Tina was quiet for a moment, wiping her eyes. She wasn't looking at him now.

"I can still feel him on me, Newt." she whispered. More tears ran down her face. "That was what I was dreaming of. What I always dream of. I can still feel him on me. On top of me, in-" Tina broke off with a jagged sob, burying her face in her hands. "I can still feel it all and I-"

She looked back up at him, eyes filled with tears that flowed down her face.

"Newt, I hurt you because of a nightmare. A dream. What is going to happen when the baby is born?" Tina's shaking hands clasped her belly.

"Tina-"

"I hurt you. What if I hurt this baby?"

She looked terrified. Newt stared at her wordlessly for a moment.

"Tina, you would never do that. Never."

Tina hiccuped slightly, wiping at her eyes.

"I'm scared, Newt. Scared of what I might do to you. To the baby. It's been almost eight months and the nightmares aren't going away. They're getting worse."

Tina stared at him, more tears spilling down her face. Newt swallowed, looking at Tina.

"I want to help you, Tina." he murmered. "But I don't know how. Not since that first night in the hospital. I couldn't stop this from happening to you and now I'm not certain I'm helping you through it. You're in pain and I feel it. I feel it, Tina, but there's nothing I can do to ease it. Not really. You feel guilty for asking so much of me. I feel guilty for giving you so little. But I don't know what to do."

Newt released a shuddering breath as Tina stared at him. Tears were still running down her face, but he knew she was listening to him.

"I know this happens. But no one ever told me -ever told either of us- ,what to do when it happens. That wizard hurt you, more deeply than I can imagine. And for seven months I've seen you struggle through it, in pain. Seeing you in pain hurts more than any water glass to the head ever could. "

"Newt-" Tina broke off, voice cracking.

"I wondered if I did the right thing by proposing to you, Tina. Bringing you here to start over, taking you away from your home. I know I didn't force it, but I still wonder if it was the right thing to do. When you cry, when you have nightmares, I feel it here." Newt took Tina's hand and placed it against his chest, over his heart. "And all I can think is how I can't help you. Not in the way you need. I love you, Tina. But sometimes I know that alone isn't enough."

Newt held her gaze. He felt like he wasn't expressing himself properly, in the way Queenie meant. Despite what Queenie had said, even though he knew Tina was strong, a part of him felt like he was burdening her with this. That in trying to tell her she wasn't alone in this and never had been, he was only feeding the guilt he knew she still carried.

Tina stared at him.

Newt was alarmed when she burst into renewed tears. Tina hugged him tightly, sobbing so hard she shook his entire body. Newt felt tears on his own face.

"I'm sorry." he whispered into Tina's hair.

Tina shook her head and tried to say someting, but sobbed again. Newt wrapped his arms around her tighter and sank down into a better postion, pulling Tina closer. When Tina finally calmed down, she looked up at him. She looked fragile to Newt and he wondered if Queenie had been wrong.

"Thank you." Tina's voice was a whisper.

"For what?" Newt asked as she reached up and brushed a tear from his face.

"Telling me. I needed it, Newt. I didn't even know I did." Tina buried her face in his shirt, where her tears had soaked.

Newt still held her. He couldn't bring himself to let her go. Right now he needed her just as much as she needed him. Newt thought about how they were alone in this, in some ways. Queenie understood better than anyone else and Jacob helped too. His mother had been kind to Tina when Tina had told her about the rape. Theseus didn't help. Newt didn't truly think his brother could. No one in America had helped. When the news of Tina's rape and subsequent pregnancy had spread through Macusa, it had quickly become clear who her friends were. Picquery had been kind.

But other than Queenie and Jacob, none of them were personal relationships. All Tina had was him until Queenie had come. Newt had thought it would help to have her sister here. Now he was wondering if even that wasn't enough.

He held Tina harder, closer, closing his eyes at the sting of tears that suddenly returned as she nestled in his lap. There was nothing else Newt could think to say to Tina. This was something where words would never be enough. He rocked Tina slightly, simply holding her close.

XXXXXX

A little while later, once both Newt and Tina calmed down, they went downstairs.

Tina healed Newt's head, fussing a little bit as she did. She tried to insist on him going to the hospital, but Newt gently refused. The last thing he wanted at the moment was a trip to the hospital.

Dinner was a little awkward. Both Newt and Tina had red eyes and Queenie and Jacob had seen him covered in blood and glass. It was agreed that Queenie and Jacob would stay one more night before taking a room they had found. Newt and Tina retired upstairs rather early.

Both of them were tired and neither of them wanted to string along conversation with Queenie and Jacob. They cleaned the glass up and Tina sat on the bed, shirt unbuttoned, watching Newt.

"I want to stop crying." Tina said quietly.

Newt turned to face her.

"It isn't a weakness, Tina."

She seemed troubled, not saying anything else right away. Newt sat down on his side of the bed, looking at Tina.

"I think crying is way to get pain out." he said.

"Then why do I do it so much?"

She just stared at him. Her eyes were tired and sad. They'd had a good talk earlier, but it had taken a lot out of them both. Newt considered for a moment how to phrase it.

"I think you have a lot of pain." he said at last. "The kind that doesn't go away as fast as you would like it to."

Tina nodded at this, fingers brushing over her belly as she considered something.

"It probably doesn't help that my emotions have been sling shotting around for a few months." A small smile quirked Tina's lips when she said this.

Newt smiled a little himself.

As far as he could tell, they were past the huge mood swings. That hadn't been very fun, when Tina would go from happy to angry in about two seconds. She smiled again and Newt had a feeling that she knew what he was thinking about. Before Newt could say anything else, he saw movement beneath the skin of Tina's belly. He watched, feeling his eyes go wide as some part of the baby jabbed out at an angle. He'd seen some strange and disturbing things with his creatures, but this was something new.

Tina laughed at the look on his face and Newt watched as the movement continued. Tina rubbed the spot gently and a few seconds later it went back to how it had looked before. Tina was still laughing.

"That is what disturbs you?" she asked, tilting her head.

"I imagine it would it disturb most men." he said after a moment.

"I think you're more...evolved than most." Tina said with another small smile.

Newt laughed a little. It felt good, though things still felt almost delicate. He had bared himself to Tina in a way that he should have a long time ago. He may not have expressed himself quite in the way he had wanted, but she'd understood and she had thanked him for it. Perhaps that would help her move forward, help her heal. She had bared things to him as well, things he hadn't even thought about her needing to tell him in the first place. It felt good, but Newt was afraid this feeling, this moment, would slip away from them if they weren't careful with what they said and did next.

Tina held her hand out to him silently. Newt wasn't certain why she did, but he took it. Tina simply held it for a moment, giving it a gently squeeze. Then she took it and rested it against her belly, letting him feel the baby kick. Newt smiled slightly.

"I told you I'm afraid I'll hurt it." Tina said quietly.

Newt said nothing. He knew that Tina would never do anything like that to a baby, let alone one that was her own, but he knew arguing about it again would be pointless.

"But... what will it think of me, Newt?"

"What do you mean?" Newt asked gently.

Tina gave him a small, sad smile.

"I think I'll always be broken in some way, Newt."

"You're not broken, Tina."

"I think I am, a little. I've been repiecing everything since this happened. I think I'll always have the nightmares. What will the baby think of me?"

"I think that depends on what you want to tell it." Newt said carefully, neutrally.

Tina stared at him with her sad, tired eyes, still tinged red.

"You're its father, Newt. Don't you know that?"

"I do, Tina. But if you want to tell it-"

"I don't think I do, Newt. Would you want anyone to grow up with that kind of mark on them? It doesn't need to know about what happened to me or the wizard that did it. We'll be enough. I don't want to hurt our child like that."

Newt felt he should argue, say that things could be worse if the baby found out some time later in life. But he didn't. And even though it had been clear from the moment Tina had accepted his proposal that he would be a father to this baby, it touched him that she called it their child.

Tina seemed to see his unspoken argument in his eyes, despite this. She bowed her head slightly.

"I really don't know, Newt. But I don't want it to grow up with the knowledge of what happened."

She rubbed her free hand across her forehead. Newt could practically see the headache pounding out of her head.

"Do you want something for the pain?" he asked. Tina gave him a questioning look. "For the headache."

Tina shook her head slowly.

"No. It'll go away when I go to sleep."

Newt nodded. His hand was still on her belly and he felt the baby move again. Tina placed her hand over his for a moment. Newt leaned forward and kissed Tina's forehead, then stood. They both undressed and Newt exstinguished the lights. Once they were in bed, Tina curled up against Newt's side, head on his chest. Newt stroked her hair gently.

"We'll get through this, won't we?" Tina's voice was quiet, unsure.

"Of course we will." Newt said, squeezing her closer to him gently for a moment. "I promised you, didn't I?"

Tina nodded at this, letting out a shuddering breath.

"Somehow, I thought we would be by now."

Newt had no response to this. Instead, he just held Tina closer, hoping it would be enough to get them both through the night.

Author's Note: Were Tina's fears and reactions valid/normal or did I amp it up too much?

Any and all reviews are always welcome!