CHAPTER EIGHT

"Hannah, James, have you two been seen anywhere together or done anything that may lead anyone to believe you are a couple?" asked Zach.

"Not at all; I've only seen James at practice and at PR events. We've never even been alone together. Jackie is always with us, and some of the times, Alexandra was even there."

"Well, at least they have nothing to back up that claim. As far as the others, well there's not much we can do. It would certainly help our case if Alexandra was going to Nationals with us. It would also help if she could give a statement as to why she quit." Zach looked directly at James as he spoke, as if anyone had control over Alexandra.

"Well, you can talk to her about that." James told Zach in a less than pleasant tone. "I have a feeling whatever happened with you guys may have something to do with her departure. Or, maybe the article had it right. Maybe none of us were meant to last off the ice." James slammed down his beer bottle and went out to the porch.

Being the only one he didn't directly offend with his comment, Hannah went out to check on him.

"She got mad at me for mentioning that she might not be over Zach, and I felt bad. But looking back, it makes sense. She never wanted to talk about their break up, even before we were a couple. And you wouldn't get mad about something unless it's true, right?" James started talking the minute he saw it was just Hannah. "We almost split before we even got really started because I overreacted to another guy. I've done nothing of the sort since then, so the way I'm feeling right now has to stem from something."

"I think everyone just has a full range of emotion right now with everything that's going on. This will be the first time you have ever skated without Alexandra and I am sure that whatever it is that made her quit is bothering you as well. Throw in a guy she has more than just a little history with, and yeah, it's going to bother you. It would be odd for you not to have crazy thoughts and feelings right now."

"I think what bothers me the most is that she never wants to talk about what happened. I would feel a little better if I knew there was more to it than them just not skating together. If she was completely over him and what they had had, she would be okay to talk about it."

"Not necessarily. I had what I thought was a pretty serious relationship in Minnesota that suddenly just ended and I'm okay with the fact it's over. Doesn't mean I want to talk about it, though. Sometimes, things in the past are better just left there."

"And sometimes they're not" she thought, as she looked in the window at Alex and Jackie.

"Would you talk about it if you thought it would save a current relationship?"

"I think I would. I can't honestly say because I haven't come to that, yet. If it bothers you that much, maybe you should talk to Zach. He's actually a good guy and I'm sure would talk, especially if it could save this team."

"Yeah, that thought had crossed my mind, but I didn't know when or how to approach it. Guess now's as good of time as any. Thanks Hannah."

He hugged his teammate and went inside to have the dreaded conversation.

While Hannah and James were outside, the other 3 were having their own conversation.

"Until they get some answers, people are just going to keep the speculation up. First they had Hannah paired with me, and now James. Eventually, it's going to have to come out why Alexandra left and why you guys are now with our firm." Alex looked straight into Jackie's eyes as he spoke, finding it hard to concentrate on the topic at hand.

"Alexandra's reasoning is hers to tell, if and when she's ready. I'm now ready to address anything else, though" said Jackie, looking right back at Alex. And she meant it, she finally wanted to talk about what had happened between the two of them. It had only taken her six years!

Alex and Jackie were looking right at each other, almost having their own conversation with their eyes. And Zach wanted nothing more than to give them privacy.

Luckily, James walked in and motioned for Zach to follow him to the kitchen.

James handed Zach one of the beers he had just grabbed out of the fridge and sat on the counter, not knowing how to start.

Zach eyed James over the beer, wondering what he could possibly have to say to him. The two had made a point to avoid speaking the few times they had been in the same room. Not that Zach had any problems with the guy. He seemed to really love Alexandra and Zach was actually happy for them. The way James jaw always tensed around Zach made him nervous enough to stay away, though. He wasn't sure how much he trusted that James' once famous temper had cooled down since hooking up with Alexandra.

"I'm assuming you didn't bring me in here to simply have a beer?"

"You really are a smart one." James took a gulp of his beer. "Sorry, man, this just isn't easy for me. I'm going through hell right now and never in a million years would I have thought I'd come to you to help me get out of it."

"Look, for what it's worth man, I've got nothing but the upmost respect for you and Alexandra. We just weren't meant to be and I'm glad she found you. I still care about and would do anything for her, though."

"Thanks Zach. I'm just gonna come straight out. I need you to tell me what happened with you guys."

"Are you serious?"

"I know it seems stupid, but it's the one thing Alexandra would never talk about and with all that's going on right now, I just need to know."

"All I can tell you is my perception of what happened. I don't know if it will help you any…"

"Your story's better than no story."

Zach grabbed them a couple of more beers, then told his side of the break-up.

"Everything was great while we were still skating together. It at least seemed that way at the time. I was ready to retire before I ever mentioned it to her, though. I knew she wasn't ready to give it up, and I knew she wouldn't go out and try to get a new partner, so I stayed six months, all the while hating it and probably becoming bitter towards her, even though she had no idea I didn't want to be competing anymore. I felt that she was tying me to a life I didn't want anymore and started getting mad at her about everything. I quit doing all the little things I used to do, figuring my skating was enough now. I finally couldn't take it anymore, told her I still loved her, and walked out of the rink. She came home a couple of days later and told me she understood and apologized for making me feel like I had to do something I didn't enjoy for her for so long. That, of course, made me feel even worse about the situation. So, for the next few weeks, she walked around depressed thinking that skating was over for her, but she wouldn't talk about it because she didn't want me to feel bad about it. At the same, time, I was already feeling bad about it, while trying to figure out what to do with my life. Eventually, we were almost avoiding each other in order to save the other from unnecessary guilt. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. We were sharing a home and nothing more. It wasn't fair to either of us. We talked it out and both agreed it wasn't working. We needed to be apart, at least for a while. We needed to think and let our emotions out without worrying about putting a guilt trip on the other. The day she packed up and moved to her apartment, we said goodbye and promised to get in touch when things were settled and we were where we wanted to be. That never happened, though. I think she wasn't where she wanted to be until she started skating with you again, and by that time, there was just no point, I guess."

Zach noticed that both had finished their beer during the story and got up to go to the fridge. He was sure they both needed it.

"My best advice to you man," said Zach as he handed James a beer, "is to not let the same thing happen to you. I'm not going to knock what she and I had, but you two, well, it's something more. I'd hate to see you guys end up like we did."

James nodded his head, still thinking over what Zach had told him. He understood exactly what he meant by the avoidance to avoid guilt. Alexandra felt bad about not being able to skate with James and James felt bad about skating while he should be with her during everything. They both knew that one of them needed to make a living, though. There was so much James wanted to say to and ask her, but he was trying to avoid anything that would mess up the balance. It was too late for that, though.

Just as Zach and James headed to the kitchen for their conversation, Hannah walked in before Jackie and Alex could start theirs. The minute she realized what she had just walked into, Hannah wished she had stayed outside for a few more minutes. Instead of having a much needed conversation, the two used Hannah's entrance as a reason to excuse themselves.

"I've got get some work done. Jackie, can I set up in one the guest rooms?"

"Sure, I'll go order us all something to eat."

As Hannah watched the two escape each other, her phone vibrated. She looked at the screen and shut it off. So what if she was the only one in the house not willing to talk things out and get answers?