Dude, this was waaaay longer than I planned. I apologize for any OOCness in the past, present, or future.
"Sorry, folks. This car's capable of miracles, but it can't drive over thirty miles of parked cars," Ellis apologized.
"Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr.!" Nick cursed.
"Now that was just uncalled for," Ellis sulked. "Seriously."
Nick ignored him and picked up one of the guns and medkits lying behind the car. What the hell had those been doing in the trunk, anyway?
"At least Ellis was able to get us this far," Rochelle said, giving Nick a pointed look.
"Yeah, great. Here we are at the road of parked cars. Probably all with active alarms," Nick replied.
"Don't listen to him, Ellis," she said, patting the Southerner's shoulder. "He's just got piss and vinegar instead of blood in his veins."
Ellis and Coach laughed while Nick fumed.
"Excuse me for being a realist!" he snapped. "What do you want me to say, there's probably no zombies anywhere? That once we get past this scrap yard we'll be rescued and everything will go back to normal? Cuz it won't."
"As fun as standin' around listenin' to y'all argue is, we should probably get a move on," Coach pointed out. "Nick's right, there are probably zombies around. So let's go."
They split into groups of two; Coach and Ellis, Nick and Rochelle. Rochelle grimaced a little.
"What?" Nick asked. "Don't tell me you'd rather be with the Dixie Chicks up there."
Rochelle suppressed a smile. "At least they're friendly."
"I prefer being alert," Nick replied. "Blathering on about nothing's not only pointless, it's annoying."
"Besides," he continued, grinning slyly at her, "I'm better looking than both of them put together. So you should count yourself lucky for getting paired with me."
"Oh I am so thankful," Rochelle replied.
After they had advanced for a few minutes, shooting any stray Infected and picking up a pipe bomb, a Molotov, and two bottles of puke, Rochelle spoke up again.
"Ellis is better looking than you."
Nick couldn't believe his ears at first. "What?"
"I said Ellis is better looking than you."
Nick stopped walking. "You're shitting me."
She glanced over her shoulder at him, smiling. "Nope."
Nick continued walking, hurrying to catch up. "There's no way you're serious. That yokel? Every goddamn thing he sees reminds him of that hick friend of his, Keef!"
"You mean Keith?" Ellis corrected from up ahead, turning around eagerly. "You know, this does sorta remind me of something that happened. Y'see, Keith wanted to test drive this new car he got, so-"
"Oh God, there he goes again," Nick groaned.
"At least he has friends," Rochelle smirked.
"Oh what, you think I don't have friends?"
"They're probably all gang members," Rochelle mused. "Or gambling addicts. Or alcoholics. Or any combination of the three."
"Oh ha ha ha, very funny. Seriously though, Ro, " he continued, "that goddamn kid'd probably start yammering on about Keith when the two of you were goin' at it in bed. Don't give me that look, you know he would."
Rochelle had tried very hard to look mad, but burst out giggling. Nick grinned at her.
"He is cute, though," she said seriously. Nick stopped grinning.
"Oh bullshit," he replied. "Who are you going to think is cute next, Coach? Or God forbid, Jimmy Gibbs?"
"Maybe."
"Oh come on, Ro, you tellin' me that your type is everyone but me?"
She didn't reply, but she gave him a look he didn't like.
"Man, whatever. You don't know what you're missing. And once you find out, you'll come crawling and begging for a piece of this."
"My Lord, did anyone ever tell you how modest you are?"
"It's all part of my charm."
"Well I think it's someone else's turn to deal with your charm," she replied, and tapped Coach on the shoulder.
"What is it, baby girl?" the older man asked.
"Can I switch with you? My partner's exercising his usual 'charm'."
"Sure thing," Coach replied, falling into step next to Nick.
Nick watched her run up beside Ellis. That angry feeling came back. Not jealousy, but wounded ego.
"You should be nicer," Coach advised.
"You should be thinner," Nick shot back without thinking. He winced, but Coach just laughed.
"Well, you know what an irresistible temptress chocolate can be."
Nick grinned at him and then watched Rochelle and Ellis. Apparently HeeHaw was reminded of Keef again (surprise surprise), since he was yammering animatedly to Rochelle. Nick saw Rochelle look back at him with a grimace. He smiled and gave her two thumbs up. After all, it had been her decision. She shook her head at him and turned back to Ellis. Ha, at least she was suffering. She'd come back to him in no time.
But she didn't. By the time they'd reached the motel, she was still with that redneck. And she hadn't looked back at Nick again.
He followed behind her as she searched an empty room.
"Not so cute when he starts talking, is he?" Nick smirked.
She turned around with her hands on her hips. "As a matter of fact, it just makes him cuter."
"Oh does it?" Nick asked innocently. "Then what was that grimace of despair you gave me?"
"I was…just…"
"Uh huh," Nick grinned, straightening up and folding his arms in triumph.
"Oh whatever," she huffed. "Not like I need you or any-"
A long, thin muscular tongue wrapped around her and immediately started dragging her out the window.
"Shit, Rochelle!" Nick yelled, grabbing her axe and running after her.
"Help!" she screamed. "Nick!"
The Smoker pulled her off the second floor and onto the ground. Nick jumped off without thinking, too focused on trying to catch up to notice the pain in his ankles as he landed. She was yanked up over a chainlink fence, and Nick climbed over that as well.
Holy shit this is reckless, the rational part of his mind said.
FUCK GET HER SAVE ROCHELLE YOU FUCKING MORON HURRY THE FUCK UP BEFORE THAT THING MAULS HER RUN FASTER YOU JACKASS, the less rational but more demanding part screamed.
There, he could see that gangly fucker. With a burst of speed he ran toward the cancerous thing and swung the axe. It burst into a big cloud of suffocating smoke, and the two of them immediately started hacking and wheezing. He pulled her to her feet and they stumbled out of the cloud.
"Did you jump off of the second story?" Rochelle asked once they could breathe again.
"Of course not, I took the stairs." No need for her to know how panicked he'd been.
"Must've taken 'em awfully fast to have caught up as quick as you did," she said doubtfully, then grinned mischievously. "You could have fallen and broken a hip, old man."
"I wouldn't look half as embarrassing as you did kicking and flailing while that thing had you," he replied, smirking. "If I recall correctly, you were also screaming my name."
She frowned at him. "Must've slipped up. I meant to yell for Ellis. He probably could've saved me in half the time you did."
"We could wait around, see if another one grabs you," he suggested. "Put it to the test."
"Nah, I'm good," she said quickly.
"Don't worry, the next time you get snagged by a Smoker, I'll toss Ellis off the second floor. Give him a little boost."
"You're so compassionate, Nick."
"Aren't I, though?"
"You ok, Ro?" Ellis's worried voice came to them from one of the rooms on the ground floor.
"Yeah, I'm fine, sweetie," Rochelle called back. "Nick killed it."
She nudged him. "Come on, we should stick with the others."
He held her axe out. She grabbed it from him and ran off towards the motel. Halfway there, she stopped and looked back at him hesitantly.
"Thanks," she said finally.
Nick shrugged. "That's what I'm here for."
She smiled a little before turning back and running the rest of the way. Nick watched her for a moment before hurrying after her.
They found an adrenaline shot (which of course Ellis snatched up; Nick wondered if the kid had an addiction), two bottles of pills, a chainsaw (Coach took this despite Nick's reminder that it had a finite supply of gas and that the noise alone would bring about a million zombies down on their sorry asses), and a crowbar. Nick took this last item.
"Crates beware," Rochelle teased him.
"I am going to crack some heads with this!" Nick declared.
Outside, a Hunter growled.
"That sounds like an opportunity to test it out," Rochelle said, looking at him.
Nick hesitated. Hunters were fast and could pin you in an instant if you didn't manage to interrupt their pounce.
Rochelle smirked and cocked an eyebrow, her hands on her hips.
"Go on, fancy man," she challenged.
That did it. Nick kicked the door open and swaggered outside.
"Come on out, you little bastard," he called, spinning in a circle.
It growled again, a little louder. It must have been around the corner. Nick gripped the crowbar with both hands and readied himself.
"You stupid hoodie-wearing-"
The Hunter let out its familiar scream as it pounced on Nick from behind and knocked him flat on his face. The crowbar went skittering a few feet away.
"GODDAMNIT YOU GODDAMN CHEATING BASTARD GET THE FUCK OFF ME-"
Nick tried to elbow the monster in the face but it paid no attention and continued to claw violently at his back.
"COULD USE SOME HELP HERE!" Nick shouted angrily.
Rochelle knocked it off him and Ellis shot it dead. Rochelle offered him her hand, but Nick ignored it and climbed to his feet by himself, dusting himself off.
"So how'd that work out for you?" she asked amusedly, pointing at the crowbar lying a few feet away from him.
He bent and picked it up before taking his jacket off and looking at the damage.
"Great," he complained. "Now half of my jacket looks like it went through a paper shredder."
"Ignoring me, huh?"
"Hey, you saw what happened. It clearly cheated."
"What, because it snuck up on you from behind? It was being pretty loud, you could have looked around."
"It sounded like it was coming from around the side of the building," Nick snapped, pointing in that direction. "So naturally-"
"It's ok, Nick, we all get into trouble at one point or another. Better a Hunter than a Tank."
"Or a Witch," Nick winced.
"You ok, Nick?" Coach asked. "Need one of medkits?"
"Nah, I'm fine," he replied, putting his jacket back on. "I think we should keep going, we've taken all we can from here."
They headed down the stairs towards the steep hill with Coach and Ellis in front. Rochelle started giggling softly.
"What?" Nick whispered.
She giggled harder for a moment before answering.
"You just never even saw him coming! Just WHAM! and you were on your face. Oh, it was great."
"Oh shut up, Miss Got-Dragged-Out-A-Window-And-Halfway-Across-The-Fucking-Parking-Lot."
"Everybody, quiet!" Ellis whispered warningly from up ahead. "I hear a Witch!"
The whole group immediately shut their flashlights off. Nick spotted the crying girl up ahead on a lower part of the hill, next to a lantern and two pipe bombs. None of that stuff was worth the risk of provoking her. And just what the hell was she doing next to a goddamn lantern, for Christ's sake? The bitch went batshit from their dinky flashlights, and yet here it was practically bathed in the light of the lantern. Whatever. What-the-fuck-ever.
"Let's slide down, people," Coach whispered. "Be careful!"
Nick took a careful step and then tumbled head over heels down the entire hill, landing dazed and sprawled on his back at the bottom.
"What just happened?" he murmured in confusion.
He heard Rochelle shrieking just before she painfully knocked into him.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry, Nick!"
"Shit, you call that careful?"
"It was steeper than I thought, ok?"
"Get up, you two," Coach called. "We have to go through this water and up the hill to reach Whispering Oaks."
"Yay," Nick and Rochelle said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise.
"Jinx, owe me a Coke!" Rochelle declared, grinning at him.
"Yeah, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for one, since they're just lying around out in the open by the crateful."
"Guys, you won't even believe how much fun it's gonna be!" Ellis said excitedly. "Oh man, the Screamin' Oak, Kiddieland-"
"Let's just get there first, ok son?" Coach replied.
"Arright. Let's go!"
The kid took off across the water, jumping onto a car and then wading over to the opposite shore. He waited for them at the bottom of the steep slope, whacking any Infected who ran toward him with his cricket bat.
"C'mon, hurry up!"
"That kid's enthusiasm is aggravating," Nick complained, sloshing through the water and ruining his suit even more. At least nothing could be as bad as that sewer. Nothing.
"I think it's sweet that he has something to look forward to," Rochelle replied.
"I look forward to getting the hell out of this goddamned place," Nick declared.
"And I cannot wait to make some cotton candy!" Coach cried, shooting a screaming Infected who came running at him.
The three reached the other side and dispatched the remaining Infected before starting up the slope.
"Shit, I hate this," Coach panted after a few seconds. "Why is everything so steep?"
"They just find your weakness and keep throwin' it at you, Coach," Nick declared. The sound of a Jockey cackling came from somewhere nearby. "Of course."
The group hurried up to the top of the hill, where more Infected waited for them. The familiar sign of a safe house was spray painted up ahead.
"Good, we're almost there," Coach said happily.
The Jockey jumped onto Ellis and started dragging him back down the hill.
"OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Ellis shouted angrily, trying to fight against it.
Rochelle and Nick ran after him, shooting at the erratically moving creature. They managed to kill it after several seconds, and Ellis sprinted back up the hill.
"Thanks, guys," he said.
"No problem," Nick replied. "How's your face feel?"
"Gross." Ellis made a face at him and joined Coach.
"Guys? Could use some help over here!" Coach shouted. The Infected had heard all the commotion and had swarmed around Coach.
The other three used their melee weapons to knock the zombies away from Coach. As they got ready to dig in and kill every Infected in sight, the roar of a Tank echoed through the air.
"Oh shit shit shit!" Ellis cursed, looking around wildly.
"Where is it? Where is it?" Rochelle whispered, also looking around frantically.
"Think we can make it to the safe room?" Nick asked.
Coach shook his head. "Not with all these Infected around to slow us down."
Nick thought for a moment as the sound of the Tank grew nearer and the ground started to tremble. "I have an idea. You three make a break for it, and I'll handle the Tank and join you."
"Boy, have you lost your mind?" Coach yelled. "You'll get your dumb ass killed!"
"No, I know what I'm doing!" Nick insisted.
Rochelle snorted. "Like you knew what you were doing with that Hunter?"
"Ro, if I can't see a Tank coming at me, I de-serve to die. Now hurry up and head to the safe room."
Nick took out the Bile Bomb and prepared to throw it. He knocked back the Infected who ran at him and waited. Soon enough, the Tank came galloping around the corner, heading straight at him. Nick hurled the puke at him and then hauled ass after the other three to the safe room. The Tank tried to give chase, but the Infected swarmed around it, attacking the Boomer-scented Tank. It had to stop and swat at the zombies, and Nick easily made it to the safe room.
"See?" he declared, shutting the metal door behind him. "No sweat."
They all listened as the outside sounds slowly faded away. An occasional noise from one of the Infected was all that could be heard.
"You can thank me any time," Nick said.
"Good job, Nick!" Ellis piped up. "Only I thought you were gonna kill it, not pukeify it."
"Well it got the job done, ok?"
"Thanks, Nick," Coach said, bandaging himself up. "Good idea you had."
Nick looked expectantly at Ro, who fidgeted and looked away for a while.
"Good job," she muttered grudgingly.
"Oh come on," he said, sitting beside her, "I want my ass kissed a little more."
"Too bad."
She reloaded her weapon and picked up some more ammo for it. She leaned back against the wall and stared off into space, thinking. Then she smiled and gave Nick a brief sideways glance.
"Hey Ellis," she called. "Think you could have taken that Tank?"
"Hell yeah!" the youth declared confidently. "I woulda beat the tar outta that thing! With my bare hands, too!"
Nick looked annoyed. "We can open the door if you really want to prove it. I'm sure it's still out there."
Rochelle elbowed him. "Nick, shut up, Ellis probably would."
"God, you're right. Nevermind, Ellis, I bet it's off somewhere pissing its pants in frustration. You'd never find it."
"Wanna bet?"
"Well…" Rochelle elbowed him again. "No."
"Stop elbowing me," he hissed to her once Ellis's attention was elsewhere. "Your boyfriend doesn't need you standing up for him."
"With you always goading him, he does," she replied.
Nick snorted. "Not my fault he's always ready to incapacitate himself."
A brief silence fell over the group.
"Who wants to take the first watch?" Coach asked.
"I will," Nick said, getting up.
"Me too," Rochelle added, following him.
Nick stared at her. "Why don't you cuddle with your boyfriend? He'd probably wet himself with joy."
Rochelle wrinkled her nose at him. "You're such a romantic."
"Sweetheart, you have no idea."
"I'm sure."
Coach and Ellis found two sleeping bags and dragged them into a corner of the room. After a few minutes, the sound of snoring filled the room.
"Looks like it's just you and me," Nick said, smirking and raising an eyebrow.
"It's gonna be just you if you don't knock it off," Rochelle replied.
"Jeez, the one attractive guy who tries to hit on you and you just push him away." Nick looked out through the metal bars of the door, making sure no Infected tried to force their way inside.
After about twenty minutes, he spoke up again.
"I think I know why that Smoker went after you," he said.
"Why's that?" Rochelle sounded like she had been drifting off.
"It's those big hoop earrings you wear," he replied. "They probably jiggled enough to catch its attention. Not really a surprise, if you think about it."
"Yeah, right," she said, shaking her head. After a moment, she added, "Anyway, they're staying on, no matter what. Jacob gave them to me."
"Oh goddamnit, now who is Jacob?" Nick demanded. "Is he one of those 'cute' guys?"
"He was my boyfriend. Before, you know…" she waved her hand to indicate the apocalypse they were in. "…all of this."
"I see."
"I was supposed to go with him to California, but I wanted to stay here. I thought that with all these people at work calling in sick, I would have a good chance of getting a promotion. They sent me here to cover the green flu, and…well…I was stuck straight in the center of this."
"Think he's still alive?" Nick asked.
"Who?"
"Jacob."
"Oh. I don't know. I hope so, I guess."
"You guess? That doesn't sound very optimistic."
"I do hope he's all right. No one should have to be subjected to this. If he isn't alive, then I hope he's not Infected."
Nick grunted.
"How about you?" Rochelle looked over at him. "Didn't you have an ex-wife or something?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Do you think she's alive?"
"I don't care."
"Oh come on, Nick, you're not that cold."
"Trust me, when it comes to her, I am. I wouldn't be surprised if we come across her as a Witch one of these days. If we do, dibs on shooting her."
Rochelle laughed at him. "OK, she's all yours."
They were both silent as they stared through the bars. The night seemed to go on forever. Nick looked over at Rochelle and saw that she staring at the ground and smiling.
"What are you thinking about that's got you smiling like that?" he asked. "Jacob?"
"No," she laughed, blushing a little. She met his eyes. "I was thinking about all those nice things that biker said to me."
Nick felt his lips instantly curl down into a tight frown. Goddamn that greasy bald pig and his goddamn nerve. And here came that angry feeling. His poor wounded ego.
"You should probably get some sleep," he said stiffly. "I'll wake Coach up in a while."
"OK," she replied, standing up and stretching. "See you."
She went to the corner opposite Coach and Ellis and started to lay down.
"What the hell are you doing?" Nick demanded, watching her.
"I'm…going to sleep," she replied, looking at him like he was crazy.
He gave her the same look. "It's cold as shit out. Get a blanket."
"There are no blankets, Suit."
"Did you check the bathroom?"
She sighed loudly. "No."
She got up and went into the bathroom, opening the doors of the sink. Two towels were there. She picked them up and returned to the main room.
"Happy?" she asked, waving them at him.
Nick shrugged. "I'm not giving you mouth to mouth if you get sick and pass out."
She smirked at him. "You totally would."
He grinned wolfishly. "Now who needs to knock it off?"
"Nick, there are only two live and uninfected women on the planet. Just shut up and be grateful."
"I don't know, I think I saw the Spitter making eyes at me…"
Rochelle burst out laughing and Nick was startled into a chuckle. She folded one of the towels into a pillow, and then covered her upper half with the other.
"Good night, Suit," she muttered.
Nick waited until he heard her breathing slowly and rhythmically. He snuck a glance at Coach and Ellis. Yep, those two were making more noise than a Tank. The coast was clear.
He slipped off his partially shredded jacket, crept over to Rochelle, draped it over her lower half, and crept back to his chair. Yes, totally ninja. Now he just had to take his jacket back before he woke up Coach. Nick turned his back on the three slumbering members of his group, feeling smug.
Coach closed his eye and went back to sleep, smirking.