Chapter 23: Jenness Jayani Jadestone (it means 'the beautiful conqueror jadestone')
"Get off of me!" Ed said as he flopped his arms around like a dead fish.
"What's wrong brother?" Al said as he walked into Ed's room. "Oh EM JEE! Brother, I didn't know you were such a man slut! How dare you sneak some girl into your room at night!"
"It's not what you think Al! She just...appeared." Ed said as he pointed at the girl.
"It's rude to point at people with such tiny fingers." The girls said as she slapped Ed.
"Ow! What's wrong with you!" Ed said as he touched his face.
"Nothing is wrong with me!"
"Umm, who exactly are you?" Al asked the girl.
"I am Jenness Jayani Jadestone."
"So, you're a mary sue?" Ed asked the girl while sheilding his face.
"No. I'm just an original character."
"Listen Jenny, I know a mary sue when I see one."
"It's Jenness, and you're mistaken. I'm nothing like a mary sue."
"Okay, so tell me about yourself Jenness."
"Please, call me Jenny. I was born on the same exact day as you. I'm madly in love with you, but I'm going to act like I'm not. I'm a genious with an IQ over 7000. I'm super hot. My boobs are five times as big as my head, but I don't have back problems. I'll eventually get into your pants. We'll have twelve different kids who will all tragically die, thus causing me and you to angst for a few years. Then I'll die just because I feel like it. Then everyone will angst and be at my funeral even though half of them didn't know me."
"...so you're a mary sue?" Ed asked.
"No! I'm a mary sue who is in denial."
"Al. Pop her." Ed said as Al pulled out a pistol and shot Jenness.
"That was fun!"
"One mary sue down, three billion more to go." Ed said as he pushed the dead carcass with huge boobs off of him.