AN: This is late, like, very. Sorry about that. Finals and my chronic inability to self motivate made getting this written a struggle, but here it is, finally. Thanks for staying with this. Read, review, enjoy :) I'm always interested in hearing anything you guys have to say, good or bad.
From Sikowitz's classroom Cat leads a largely unresponsive Jade to the nearby bathroom where she helps her wash off what's left of her make up. Cat doesn't say much – she knows that's not what Jade needs right now – and Jade doesn't say anything. Something has thoroughly broken the other girl, and while Cat has a pretty good idea of what it is, she can't help but wonder if she's going about this the right way. Cat's never seen Jade like this before, not even when her parents had kicked Beck out of her house shortly into their relationship and told her if they ever caught her with 'that boy' again they'd be sending her back to public school. As Cat takes her hand and leads her away from the school, the older girl gives her a small but heartfelt smile that gives Cat hope that she's doing something right.
Jade appears to have herself under control by the time the pair reaches a small ice cream parlor not far from campus. Jade takes a seat at a small booth near the window while Cat orders them both milkshakes before joining her.
They sit in silence while they wait for their order; Jade staring in turns vacantly out the window and down at her hands while Cat watches her friend closely and waits for her to speak. After a while, Cat's attention is drawn to something outside of the window that Jade can't see and a content smile forms on her face as she follows it with her eyes. Jade matches her smile with a small one of her own until the moment is broken by one of the employees as she brings the girls their milkshakes. Cat smiles brightly at the woman as she hands her the drink while Jade gives her a slight nod and otherwise ignores her until she leaves to return to the register. Cat silently emotes her excitement over the milkshake with a barely contained squeal as Jade looks down at her own thoughtfully.
"Um, thanks, Cat. You know, for everything. I'm… I'm glad you're here," Jade starts quietly while she fiddles with her straw and gives Cat another small smile. The redhead smiles warmly in response before taking a sip from her shake.
"I'm betting you already know, but I just broke up with Beck. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I think that's why it hurts so much."
Jade falls silent after that and picks up her milkshake to take a drink. Cat nods encouragingly. After another brief moment Cat speaks up to fill the silence.
"So. Do you… do you think he and Tori will…" Cat trails off uncomfortably at the look or hurt in Jade's eyes. She reaches across the table and covers the older girls hand with her own.
Jade finally lets out a brief, humorless laugh before speaking again, "Will? Try 'have.' I caught them making out in the drama room. I knew I should have ended things sooner. I can't believe he would go behind my back like that. I mean, I know he doesn't really love me… but I trusted him! I don't know what's worse, the thought that he would knowingly cheat on me like that or that he was honestly too clueless to see where things were going…"
Jade shakes her head to clear her thoughts before she takes another drink.
"You know, he's still convinced he loves me. Even after… I mean have you seen the way they look at each other? How do you go about not picking up on that? And then he wants to convince me there's nothing there? Then when I told him things were over… I really think I hurt him, which just goes and makes everything worse. I'm the one who's supposed to be hurting right now! He's the one who was cheating. I didn't do anything. What did I do wrong? Beck's always been a friend, even before we were dating. I just… it hurts."
Jade trails off as she looks across the table to Cat. The younger girl is looking wide-eyed out the window with a vacant smile on her face as her eyes once again follow something Jade isn't seeing. The redhead's lapsed attention would anger anyone who doesn't know her like Jade does but the brunette knows Cat's hearing what's important.
Cat's face lights up as she spots a small dog being walked by its owner past the store window. Jade can't help but smile at the look of childlike exuberance on the redhead's face. As the dog passes out of view Cat turns back to look at Jade and meets her smile head on and the two share a comfortable silence for a few moments.
"You have a really beautiful smile," Cat says breaking the silence.
Jade looks down at her hands for a second before meeting Cat's eyes again, "Thanks. You do too."
Cat nods her head slightly but otherwise ignores the returned compliment, "You should smile more often."
Jade furrows her brow for a second, "What are you talking about? I smile all the time."
The younger girl shakes her head briefly and takes another sip of her shake, "No you don't. You don't smile, you smirk. When you're being mean to Tori, or when you do better at something than everyone else, or when you're rubbing Beck in everyone else's fa- Never mind, you know what I mean. You should smile like you were just now. You know, the smile you get when you think no one's looking, or when I do something you think is cute and you can't help it. That one!"
Jade looks down at her milkshake with a small smile on her face as Cat continues talking.
…
"Am I the only person who can get you to smile like that?"
The sound of footsteps on the cold tile of the waiting room interrupts Jade's thoughts before a brightly colored can of soda is thrust into her field of vision. She ignores it for a moment, trying to lose herself in her thoughts again but the soda and its attached hand are insistent. Jade finally looks up from her focus on the floor in front of her to see Andre on the other end of the can; wearing a tentative smile and holding the soda out expectantly.
"Can I help you?" Jade asks impatiently.
Andre's smile doesn't falter but he looks around nervously, "I don't know. You just… you looked like you could use some company."
Jade gives an emotionless laugh before settling her gaze back on the bright tiles of the hospital floor, "Thanks, but I'm not interested."
Andre's face falls as Jade dismisses him and he stands still for moment, considering what to do before moving to leave as he lets his shoulders slump. Jade lets out a frustrated sigh before reaching out and taking the soda out of the boy's hand. Andre turns and with a small smile moves to take a seat across from Jade in the small waiting room.
"I'm thirsty. Don't get all excited. I'm not interested in sharing and caring."
Andre ignores her comment as he settles into the small padded chair opposite hers as she opens the soda and takes a drink. He continues to watch her quietly until she lets out a sigh and shifts to stare again at the tiled floor.
"God, Jade. You really are full of yourself. You know you aren't the only person who cares about Cat, don't you?" Andre says out of frustration when he finally breaks the long silence.
Jade takes another sip from the soda and doesn't look up from the floor, "Great. Well then, you should have no trouble carrying this conversation on your own then, should you?"
There's another long silence while Andre glares at Jade and she continues to ignore him.
"Look, I get it. I know you feel like you have to do this for her, but you haven't left the hospital for more than an hour or two all weekend. You can't put your life on hold waiting for her just because she's your best friend. We all care about Cat. It's not like we don't understand."
Jade finally looks up to meet his eyes with an icy glare, "You all keep saying that like you don't think I get it, or like I don't believe you and if you say it enough I'll change my mind. Andre, I know. I get that I'm not the only friend Cat has. I'm not here out of some moronic sense of obligation, like if I'm not here no one else will be. I'm here because I don't know where else to be!"
Jade's focus shifts back to the can in her hands and she realizes she's probably said too much. Andre doesn't respond for a moment and once again an uncomfortable silence falls over the pair.
Andre sighs and his tone is much softer when he starts talking again, "Jade, I'm sorry. I know you two are close. None of us ever really understood things between you two but it's obvious she means a lot to you. Please go home, Jade. You can't do anything for her here that her doctors aren't already doing better. You need sleep, and food. Maybe a shower…"
Jade glares at him over her soda, but her eyes hold no real malice.
"See, there's the Jade I've been looking for. Come on. I can give you a ride home and you can be back here after school tomorrow. It'll be fine, Jade," Andre offers with a warm smile.
Jade seems to consider this for a moment but her face finally falls back to the blank look she'd held when Andre arrived and she lets out another small sigh, "I – I can't, Andre. I just… I need to be here, when she wakes up. She needs to know that – Look, I just can't leave. I'm sorry."
Andre gives her a searching look for a moment, "Is this about the fight you two were having? I know you guys had been pretty distant with each other last week. Jade, I know Cat will forgive you, or if she's the one at fault it's obvious you've forgiven her. She wouldn't want this, Jade. They'll call you as soon as she wakes up, assuming you aren't already here."
Andre watches Jade in silence for another moment.
"What happened? I can't be that bad, can it?"
Jade laughs bitterly for a second as she stares at the now empty can in her hand, "She said she was in love with me."
Andre can't hide the shock in his eyes at that admission, "So, what did you say to her?" he asks finally.
"Well, I lied to her – and she knew it – and then I told her it was going to be ok and that we could still be friends."
Andre looks slightly angry at this, "So what, you just wrote her off because she told you she was gay? I never figured you were so closed minded."
Jade looks up to glare at him, a small fire returning to her eyes, "I didn't handle it well. I get it. You see how well you do when Robbie and his creepy doll declare their undying affection for you. And for the record? I've known Cat likes girls for over a year now."
Andre has the grace to looks slightly ashamed of his previous accusation and can't meet Jade's eyes.
Jade finally drops her glare and turns to look down the empty hallway, "Alright look, I'll go home tonight. I've got my own car so I won't need a ride. Just… leave me alone, ok? I don't need to sit down and have long talks about my feelings. Cat was hit by car. Sitting down and talking about why that sucks doesn't change the fact that it does."
Jade gets up to get rid of the empty soda can, signaling the end of the conversation. When she returns Andre is gone. She settles back into her seat and looks across the nearby hallway at the windows of Cat's room, once again losing herself in her thoughts.
…
"I don't know, maybe? I don't think about my smiles that often."
"Well I like this smile, and I like that I only see it when it's just us. It feels like it's mine."