Chapter 26: Oliver Armstrong, Buccaneer, and others
It is a really cold day at briggs...although it always is. Anyways, Oliver decided to take her troops out for a relaxing swim.
"Come on! I give you worthless pigs one day of relaxation and you don't want to leave the base!" Oliver said while the camera zoomed in on her huge lips, "Get that camera out of my face!"
"Well...ummm...isn't it a little cold to go swimming? It's -52 degrees outside!" Fallman said.
"Hey! You're already dead Fallman! You're not allowed to make an appearance anymore!" Oliver said as she replaced Fallman with a young fanfic author who's name will not be mentioned.
"Is it really all right to take a 12 year old girl out into the cold and make her swim in a frozen lake?" Buccaneer asked.
"Of course not! That's why we're doing it!" Oliver said as she somehow dragged everyone to the lake.
"God damn it's cold!" The fanfic author said in a very bitchy manner.
"You've got an attitude! That's what I like in women." Oliver said to mi...the fanfic author.
"ARE YOU HITTING ON ME!?"
"Yes, I am. You got a problem? Buccaneer, you go in first!" Oliver said as Buccaneer jumped in.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MAH BALLZ BE FROZEN! AHHHHHHHHH"
"See, he's fine. Your turn," Oliver said as she pushed everyone else in.
"AHHH! To $%#ing cold! AHHHH!" the fafic author said as she died.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" The other soldiers said as they either died or got their...manly parts frozen.
"WIMPS! YOU'RE ALL WIMPS!" Oliver said as she dove under the surface. She didn't float back up...we think something ate her...
Oliver Armstrong is given the darwin award for being a drag queen...i mean ice queen! Buccaneer is given a darwin award for freezin his ballz off. The unnamed fanfic author is given a darwin award for swimming in a frozen lake :D.