Warning: This story contains mature content and should NOT be read if you are uncomfortable with abuse or sexual situations. You HAVE been warned! Flames on this subject will be ignored and deleted.

Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura or any of its characters. I do how ever own the ideas behind this story. XP

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Chapter Three:

Numb

Sakura's Point Of View

I quietly opened the apartment door and slipped inside with out a sound. A glance around the room told me that dad was passed out on the couch. A bottle of Jake Daniels lay empty on the floor next to the couch. I sighed and rolled my eyes. This didn't surprise me.

I dropped my bag full of candy on the floor and with a sigh and laid down on my bed. I stretched and then left my arm over my eyes. I let my mind wander and felt my lips curve into a small smile when my thoughts summoned the night's events. I couldn't help but wonder if I had seen him before, then again I wasn't really one to pay much attention to people around me. For the first time I regretted that part of me.

I felt sleep on the edges of my mind, that comfortable darkness that takes away all the pain that life brings. You mind controlled the images that play at night, and you controlled your mind. That place where anything is possible. I smiled waiting for it to consume my mind fully. I felt drunk with sleep as I pulled an oversized shirt over my head and collapsed on my bed again.

The darkness covered my mind and I am once again in my haven. No one can touch me, for a few hours I am safe. There is no one here to tell me that I am incapable in any way. No one but me walks in the place. I control space and time, life and death. Here I am god. I let myself roam around my scared space. The only place I alone own. I jumped into the air and spread my wings. My hands touch the sky and I lay on the fluffy clouds.

Everything here has no real color, though I don't complain. Darkness resides here. The bright light of the world that brings life, beauty and happiness to the outside world cannot penetrate. My thick darkness clings to you, embracing you in a cradle of comfort. My body relaxes and my breathing slows. Peace is not a luxury I am allowed very often. And just for this moment I am allowed to feel at peace. My body and mind are one. The sleep and darkness mix and I let it wash over me like the waves on the shore. The last thought to go through my mind asked that this peace could last. I wish I could just stay here and live in the comfort. It's better then being out there. One would rather stay in a place where pain does not exists, even if it means that you are alone.

Peace can be shattered in seconds though. Shattered and torn from you like it never existed. Taken from you body, mind, and person without any regard to what it may cause you as a result.

Pain becomes evident in my lungs; I can't seem to draw the necessary breath to fill them. My dark haven is being eaten by the permanent darkness that puts you six feet under the solid earth under and stone. My mind scrambles to find the problem. What has gone wrong?

Finally my eyes snap open and for a second I don't realize what I'm seeing. My mind is slowing, but I finally recognize what is in front of me. The man of my nightmares, the one who brings so much fear and pain into my life is above me now. His strong hands gripped around my neck cutting off my air ways. I try to scream but no sound escapes me. I can see red on the outer rim of my sight, death is coming. My heart beats faster as I take hold of his hands trying to remove it from my neck. My mind screams in frustration. I can't let him get what he wants. This is not how my life will end, not by his hands.

My trashing finally gets him off me when I manage to land on foot firmly between his legs. He stumbled back; hands clutching the tender flesh that hangs there. His brown eyes glare down at me and he growls something too slurred with whisky to comprehend. I flinch when he stumbles back to my bed to place one hard punch that – thankfully missed my head – connected with my shoulder blade. He lets out the drunken laugh that I have come to hate with every fiber of my being. Stumbling he exits my room leaving the door open behind him.

How could I be so stupid? I left my door open, just begging for him to come after me. I had neglected to lock the door and allowed sleep to take me. This was my fault, and he had almost gotten her wish. By morning I would have been a cold corpse that no one cared for.

Perhaps death wasn't such a bad idea. At least then I wouldn't have to go through life like this each day. I shouldn't have to keep Living with the fear of wondering if today would be my last; that numbness that never seemed to go away. Death would be a luxury. I would be free to lay in peace, even if it was six feet under. He would no longer be able to inflect this pain upon my body.

I could do it right now; there is a knife in the kitchen just screaming my name. I felt tears in my eyes and frustrated I brushed them away. I crawled to the foot of my bed and then stood and closed the door and locked it firmly. My body curled into a ball in the floor. I begged for death to come and take me. The lock on my door kept him from entering and kept me from leaving. The knife in the other room was to tempting. How could I kill myself? There was still something worth living for. What is it, which will allow me to continue living? Tomoyo! Yes, she will be the one who will keep me alive. I could never kill myself, because that would cause so much pain to her. I wouldn't be a very good friend if I did that.

I remained curled in that ball for the rest of the weekend. Tomoyo called a few times but I was to numb to move. Monday morning dawned and my alarm clock trilled at six o'clock screaming for me to wake up. And so I did.

Mew Mew Berri: Hey everyone! Well that was Chapter Three. Please Review!