Primeval I own not.

Chapter 5

Finally the questions were done for the day--the time had come for the big decision.

"What the hell do we do about Helen?" Lester asked.

The assembled party was silent. Jenny pursed her lips. Sarah furrowed her brow, resting her chin upon her hand. Abby stroked the hand of Connor, who watched her more closely than he paid attention to the meeting. Becker looked lost in thought, his eyes lazily watching Sarah think.

"Well, don't everyone spit out their ideas at once," Lester said sarcastically. Jenny looked sheepishly at the table.

"Well, what can we do?" Abby asked. "she's not the Helen we know. She's not evil."

"Think of her in a few years," Jenny replied. "She's a murderer."

"I just don't think it's right to kill an innocent woman," Abby said. "Sarah, you agree, don't you?"

Sarah thought a moment, then nodded. "I say we keep her a little while, see if she shows her true colors."

"Splendid," Becker shot back with a bit of venom. "Wait 'til she's killed someone, then execute her."

"What else can we do?" Sarah asked. "People can change."

"Thank you for the obvious, Sarah," Becker growled. Abby suddenly saw things take a turn from their original topic. "Yes, people change; you should know that. Well, Helen Cutter will change and become evil."

"That's enough, captain," Lester said lowly. Becker's fingers curled into a fist and he grimaced as Sarah leaned backwards. "On a startling note, none of this is even remotely helpful."

"Please stop bickering and offer an idea, somebody," Jenny added. "I'll admit, I don't like the idea of killing someone, but let's remember who we're talking about."

"I know what Danny would say," Connor said quietly. "If you hadn't thrown him out, Jenny. He'd call it redundant to kill Helen twice."

Jenny flushed. "Danny's actions got him thrown out," she said darkly. "I don't really want to speak about it anymore, anyhow."

"We'll never decide a rational course of action like this," Lester interjected. "God, everyone's mad at somebody and no one wants to listen. Sometimes I think I'm on a bloody soap opera." He stormed out of the room, followed quickly by Jenny, calling "James!" after him. Connor looked at the others and raised a hand.

"I'm not mad at anybody," he said unhelpfully. Abby smiled gently, massaging the hand that had been holding hers. Becker stood and left without another word, and at an encouraging glance from Abby, Sarah followed him.

She was surprised to see he had stopped there; had he known she was coming? He turned and faced her. To her surprise, he looked--apologetic? No, that wasn't Becker, was it?

"Sarah, I'm sorry," he said, confirming her thoughts. "About how I've been acting."

Sarah took a few seconds to think of what to say, finally deciding on, "You should be, Becker. I mean--" She shook her head before lowering her voice. "Jensen, I think we should both be sorry."

"Sarah, I'm so not willing to give up on what we have." Becker's soft eyes looked so honest but Sarah found herself unwilling to look into them. She adored and hated those eyes, she was so irrationally attracted to them but her life relied on facts and figures--this love, barely knowing the man, made no sense.

"What do we have, Jensen? We happen to work at the same job that requires us to capture dinosaurs that appear through holes in time."

"But I love you, Sarah." He said it like he was begging, like he was like he was pleading. The words pierced a hole in her heart deeper than any knife could, but she sighed. She couldn't look into those broken eyes anymore.

She was doing this for him, wasn't she?

"Becker, I'm a doctor. My whole life--everything is calculated, again and again, and I can't just 'fall in love' on a whim. I--I'm sorry, Becker. I'm sorry I said I'd date you."

She turned then and stepped away towards her office. She held her hand on the doorknob for several long moments before opening it--she wanted Becker to call her back, but he didn't. Finally she stepped inside and collapsed against her door.

She had told Becker the truth. She had never been spontaneous in her life, and falling in love with Becker--no, it wasn't love, she chastised herself. It was….exhilaration and admiration. Fighting dinosaurs did that to a person, especially when one's coworker was rather attractive. She wasn't in love, she was just a victim of endorphins.

But…when Becker said he loved her…. Was this how Abby felt, when Connor first told her? No, Connor and Abby were just enormously compatible. They lived together for years before deciding to get hitched. Becker and her were completely different people; he was a soldier and she was a doctor, for goodness' sake. But when he said it, she felt a buzz go through her, like drinking half a dozen cans of Red Bull in one sitting--bad analogy, she supposed--and irrationality seemed so inviting.

She was crying before she knew it, the tears like a flood falling from her reddening eyes. Was Becker out there, on the other side of the door? She almost wanted to open it and see, but her resolve was stronger than that. She'd bury herself in work, ignore her problems, and allow her tears time to dry. She found a wry smile cross her lips; she'd heard from the others Cutter often drowned his sorrows in whiskey. Well, this was her whiskey.

Suddenly she felt the door to her office push in on her. She leapt up quickly and put her hand up quickly, pretending to push the hair from her eyes to hide her tears. "Yeah?"

It was Jenny.

"Should've knocked," she said hurriedly with little apology, noticing Sarah's red eyes without comment. "But--Sarah, Helen's disappeared."