"Hermione, hey, wake up." Ginny is gently shaking her shoulder.
Hermione sits up abruptly, "shit, what time is it?"
"It's 8:15, did you get the potions stuff this morning?" Ginny asks as she sits back on her bed to put her shoes on. She's already showered and ready for the day, and the other girls are gone. Hermione must have really been dead asleep to miss all the noise.
"Yeah, oh god, what a nightmare that was." Hermione rubs her eyes and stretches. Then she grabs some clean clothes and rushes to the bathroom. She barely has time to change and brush hair and teeth before breakfast ends and classes start. Messy bun it is. "You go ahead, you don't have to wait for me. I'll catch the end of breakfast." She calls out to Ginny.
"No problem, I'll wait." Ginny leans against the bathroom door frame. "So what happened? Why was it a nightmare?"
"Fuck, everything went wrong. Except getting the flowers, at least we were able to do that." Hermione finishes up and goes to collect her bag and robes from her bed.
"We?"
Shit. "Oh, yeah, uh... Malfoy came with me." She shrugs on her robes and slips on her shoes. "Ready." She walks out the door without making eye contact. It's not that big of a deal. Why is she being weird about it. That's going to make it a bigger deal. Ugh she hates running late.
"Oh. So you and Malfoy had a nice early morning stroll through the woods together?" Ginny casually says but Hermione can tell she's itching for more details.
"Actually we flew. Which was a good thing too because the acromantulas moved their nest and swarmed the meadow right as we finished collecting the flowers." They are walking briskly down to breakfast.
"I'm sorry, what?! You flew?" Ginny asks incredulously.
"Well I didn't do the flying."
"I'm sorry, what?! You rode on the back of Malfoy's broom while he flew you into the forest?"
"Why aren't you asking about my near death experience with the acromantulas?" Hermione tries steering the conversation in a different direction. They make it to the great hall and Blaise, Theo and Malfoy are still seated at their table. Hermione gives Ginny a look that says "later" and they join the boys, as per their new habit of eating at the slytherin table.
Ginny and Hermione take the closest seats, across from Blaise and Malfoy, with Hermione next to Theo. "Late start today ladies?" Blaise asks, and Hermione looks at him then Malfoy, who is leaning on the table, sipping at his tea. He glances up at her.
"The opposite actually." Ginny chimes in. "Did you take a look at your quidditch team list? I got Malfoy and Dean which is promising, but I also got Seamus and Ernie so... we'll see what we can do." Ginny fixes her toast. "Are we supposed to be like, full on real teams? Will the bludgers be in play? Because I have concerns about that."
Hermione silently fixes her tea, grateful for Ginny's takeover of the conversation. A bell chimes a warning before class. She downs her tea and grabs an apple and toast. The group leaves the table together and then splits up in the entrance hall. Hermione waves to Ginny as she and Blaise take off one way. Then finds herself walking up to alchemy with both Theo and Malfoy. Somehow she ends up walking between them. She has a sudden dejavú moment and misses Harry and Ron.
"So, Granger, why didn't you sign up for the eighth year quidditch game?" Malfoy asks with a hint of amusement in his voice.
She snaps her head to him and narrows her eyes. "Funny." Is all she says.
"What position are you vying for?" Theo asks him. "I'd go seeker or keeper." He adds. A group of third years scatters but stares at the trio in awe as they pass. Hermione is suddenly glad they've seen her with the two slytherins. Maybe her example will do some good before she leaves here.
"Seeker. I'll do chaser if Weasley proves she can out-fly me." Malfoy says arrogantly.
Hermione says nothing, thinking of his flying that very morning when he caught her and avoided the acromantulas. She has a greater appreciation for his abilities.
They reach the classroom. There are few enough students that the room is set up with only one row of desks in a semi-circle facing the blackboard. They head for their usual seats which they chose on the first day, with Hermione right in the middle of the semi-circle and Theo and Malfoy together on the right side. She breathes a little sigh of relief to be away from them and able to focus on class, until she realizes Malfoy will be in her direct line of sight the whole time. She's hyper-aware of him after this morning. She does all she can to focus wholeheartedly on alchemy...
The library is mostly empty that evening. The quidditch teams are down at the pitch organizing things and the lower classes are spectating, despite the light snow that just started. Hermione can appreciate the camaraderie that quidditch inspires, even if she doesn't care for the game in general.
She does some deep breathing exercises to re-center. She has been totally unfocused the past few weeks. She thought this year would be free of distractions without a war to worry about and without Harry and Ron, but ever since that Halloween party in slytherin, it's been anything but.
Ron! She remembers with a jolt. She still hasn't replied to his letter. She grabs a parchment and quill.
She thinks about all that has happened since she last wrote to him. He wouldn't care to know about their double date to Paris. He probably would have an aneurism if she told him about the forbidden forest with Malfoy.
Dear Ron,
Sorry about the delay in response. It's been a bit hectic here the past few days. They've created an eighth year quidditch pickup game for the upper classmen to have fun with. So I have the library to myself for a couple of weeks until that is done. Ginny and Blaise Zabini are heading the teams. Everyone interested gets to play, they divided teams by drawing names from a cauldron. I don't recall who is on which team but when they play I'll try and give you more details. Everyone is excited about it.
McGonagall also got a counseling group organized and I'm happy to say many people are taking advantage of that. I've signed up for a session just to see if there's anything more I can learn from it. But I really have felt remarkably balanced about it all. Spending the summer months reading up on muggle psychology and ptsd definitely helped me gather the tools within myself to cope. And time is incredibly healing.
From your description in your last letter, it doesn't seem like Harry was "non-reactive" about Ginny. Sounds like he reacted in a pretty strong way by getting intoxicated and attempting to hookup with strangers and get tattoos. I really wish the two of them would communicate more clearly. I don't want to get in the middle or choose any sides. But I won't be babysitting Ginny or telling her what to do aside from talking to him. When was the last time he wrote to her? I also won't condemn Harry for seeking companionship in a similar manner. Don't be so hard on Ginny. You aren't here. You don't know and you cannot say.
I hope this letter finds you both safe and happy. Have fun.
Love,
Hermione
She pauses before she finishes the letter, trying to think of anyway she could explain the Malfoy event without making Ron angry, and can't. She also tries to think of something to say to Harry in his own letter, but can't come up with anything there either. She rolls up and seals the scroll and tucks it in her bag to take to the owlry later.
One item off her to-do list. She switches to study mode and begins revising a Charms essay. But her mind starts to wander to the events of the day. Theo never even hinted at her going to the forest at any point during the day, which leads her to believe that Malfoy didn't say anything to him. She thought that interesting. However she didn't really tell anyone else about it either. She had started to tell Ginny that morning but they didn't have a moment together after that. But what would she tell her anyway? She remembers that she never told Ginny about Malfoy's apology all those weeks ago in this very spot. And then Hermione chose Theo as her double date partner. Ginny probably thinks Hermione wants nothing to do with Malfoy and has no other interactions with him, which probably makes this morning sound even more crazy.
Hermione catches her thoughts wandering off and shakes her head. She looks back at her charms essay and gets back to work.
"Hey Hermione!" Hannah Abbott approaches her table with a handful of parchment.
"Oh, hello Hannah, how are you?" Hermione responds politely. She sets down her quill.
"I'm fine, thank you. I just wanted to pass on this flyer. Hufflepuff is hosting the next party before Christmas break, and we wanted to give everyone time to round up some ugly sweaters." She hands Hermione one of the parchments.
"Oh, fun! I'll be sure to notify the seventh and eighth year gryffindors. Thanks!" She takes the parchment and sticks it in her bag, Hannah says goodbye and walks away.
Hermione tries to pick up her essay again, but is bombarded by memories from the last party. Minus the spin the bottle game, she thought it was a success. It got the students to mingle and make friends with those in other houses. She hopes there won't be any such games at the Puff's party.
Ok for real this time, she pep-talks herself. Studying. Essays. NEWTS. She buckles down and gets to work.
"Welcome, students!" Slughorn calls out from the front of the classroom. "We have a very fun treat today. We begin our advanced antidotes section with a fun exercise. Now I want you all to work very hard on this one, because we will indeed be testing it out on one another." He unveils a steaming pearl-pink potion and Hermione suddenly recalls what he had said at their last class. She shoots her arm into the air.
"Professor, I'm sorry, are you intending to have us test amortentia on each other? I'm not sure this is exactly legal." She tries to put a stop to it without undermining her professor. But this is absurd.
"Not to worry Miss Granger. It will be the most minuscule of a dosage and the antidotes, if prepared correctly, will absolve all effects immediately." He states haughtily and continues on instructing.
She shoots a concerned look at Theo across the table, but he just looks amused. Malfoy looks like he shares her sentiment though.
"And a big thank-you to Miss Granger and Mr Malfoy for collecting the puffersnap flower for us. I know it was not an easy task, and we are all very grateful." Theo's turn shooting a look at Hermione this time. Now she's sure he didn't know about it. She doesn't look to Malfoy.
"Off you go then, the antidote should take 40 minutes which leaves us just enough time to test it." Slughorn waves at them to begin.
Hermione and Neville work diligently on their antidote. No words are exchanged at their table. At the forty minute mark, Slughorn calls for them all to stop and he begins the task of distributing vials of the amortentia to each student.
Hermione sniffs hers, expecting the same as the last time she smelled it. But she freezes in horror as she realizes it has changed. What she smells is bringing up the very vivid image of burying her face in someone's neck as he flew them away from a hoard of acromantulas. She sets it down quickly and keeps it far away from her nose.
Malfoy hasn't touched his vial. He's sitting back away from the table with his arms crossed. Theo and Neville sniff theirs curiously.
"Something wrong with yours, Granger? You don't look like someone whose just smelled what attracts them most." Malfoy sneers. She doesn't respond and instead rubs her nose and turns away from the table, looking back to Slughorn for further instruction.
"Now, I want you to add one single hair to your vial, that's it. Now stopper it, and place it back on the table." Slughorn waves his wand and all the vials lift above the tables and spin around in circles, mixing them all up. It's impossible to tell which vial belongs to which person. Hermione is horrified at what she knows is about to happen.
"Now, ready your antidotes, and take the dose of amortentia in front of you. You will feel a sudden strong attraction to a mystery person at your table, and then take your antidote. If you prepared yours correctly, the attraction will vanish immediately." Everyone in the room looks afraid as they look at their table mates.
"Oh don't be shy, on three then, one, two, three!" Slughorn enthusiastically waves at them to drink.
Theo says "cheers" and downs his first. Neville follows, then Malfoy. Hermione is still hesitant. Theo makes a little face as he realizes who's vial he got and quickly downs the antidote. "Oh thank god."
Hermione tips her vial back and presses her fingers to her lips. She stares straight at the table as she feels the sudden desire to press her face in his neck again. Fuck, of course she got his. She swallows the antidote quickly and waits a beat for the potion to fade. It does but only a little. She does not want to give away whose vial she got. She looks to Neville to see if he's having the same reaction. He's shaking his head like he just got a nasty taste out of his mouth. "That was horrible." He says, "thank goodness we made the antidote correctly."
"Mm." Is all she says. How can Neville's have worked but hers didn't? It's the same potion. She looks over at Malfoy, he clears his throat and looks away.
"Very good, very good. Good sports. Clean up time and class dismissed." Slughorn says.
Nobody in the class seems to want to divulge who's vial they got. They quickly pack up and leave. What a stupid fucking traumatizing class. For everyone.
That evening is her counseling session. The mind healer praises her knowledge of healthy PTSD coping mechanisms. She leaves feeling like she doesn't need another session and can be confident in her own abilities and methods.
She walks out to the owlry to send Ron's letter finally. She added a small list of things the mind healer suggested for friends and family who refuse to seek treatment. It doesn't hurt to try, she thinks.
She passes the quidditch pitch on her way to the owlry and hears distant shouting. She squints but can't tell who is out there.
Someone flies straight to her and stops abruptly. "Ginny! Hi!" Ginny dismounts and walks with Hermione.
"Hey, I thought that was you. Off to send a letter?" Ginny asks.
"Yes. A response to Ron. He, er..." Hermione remembers she hasn't told Ginny about that particular letter yet. "He wrote the other day."
"Let me guess, he had opinions about me and my life?" Ginny said with disgust.
"Just a few." Hermione concedes. "But I told him it's not our business and he's not here and doesn't get to have an opinion about any of it."
"And even if he were here he wouldn't get to have an opinion on my life." Ginny adds. "Fucking Ron." She shakes her head. "And Harry?" She asks.
"Harry..." Hermione shoots an apologetic look at Ginny.
"Go on then, I can take it." Ginny urges her to continue.
"He seems to be pursuing flings of his own in response to hearing that you were. I haven't heard from him directly so I don't know. But Ron hinted that he's enjoying getting to know people abroad." She watches Ginny closely for her reaction.
"Well, good for him. Maybe we will come out of this more in love, and know we're right for each other. And maybe we'll come out of this realizing we aren't compatible in real life and that we can find more with someone else." Ginny concludes confidently.
"Well I think that is a very mature and healthy point of view. Good for you." Hermione bumps her with her elbow. They reach the owlry and Hermione selects a long distance owl.
"And on that note, I want to ask Blaise out this time, and was wondering if you wanted to come with Theo again?" Ginny asks.
"Oh, yes sure, I had a lot of fun with them. Unless of course you don't want chaperones this time..." Hermione winks mischievously at her.
"Not quite yet. I was thinking we could just have a fun pub night at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday. It's not a trip to Paris or anything. But it's not my fault he started off with such an elaborate first date."
"I think that sounds perfect." Hermione sends off the owl and they head back toward the castle.
"Cool, I'll ask him next time I see him then." Ginny says.
"So how have you divided up your quidditch team?" Hermione asks.
"Oh! Well I think I'll give Malfoy the seeker position, the ferret can really fly. I was reluctantly impressed. Probably Dean as keeper, and there's five of the rest of us but since we aren't a real team, Hooch has decided not to give us bludgers, so we'll practice with five chasers and see what we can get."
"That's good." Hermione says, if only to stay a part of the conversation. But her mind has wandered to images of Malfoy flying. And while she's never cared for the game and only ever went to support her friends, she has the sudden desire to watch him fly. She shakes her head. What the fuck? No. She does NOT desire that. Moving on.
They enter the castle and spot Blaise and Theo seated across from each other in the great hall. They've got parchments spread out between them and are deep in discussion.
"Ooh, perfect timing." Ginny says quietly to Hermione. "Hello, boys, just the snakes we were hoping to find." She says loudly to the guys.
They scramble to stack the parchments and Blaise leans his elbow on top. "Spying on a rival team? Bad form my dear." Blaise says with a wink.
"Well then leave your top secret plans at home for our pub night on Saturday." Ginny crosses her arms and returns the wink.
"Oh a pub night? I think I have room on my busy busy schedule for that, what about you, Theo?" Blaise asks.
Theo looks to Hermione first and she smiles and nods. "Why yes, I am available on Saturday as well." He answers.
"Great, we'll eat here cuz I'm only buying drinks." Ginny tosses her hair over her shoulder. "Goodnight, boys." She gives a flirty wave and she and Hermione walk up to Gryffindor tower.
Hermione tosses and turns for hours that night. She has this weird feeling in her gut and she can't stop thinking about Malfoy and clinging to him on the broom. How he slipped the broom right between her legs and wrapped an arm around her to hold her to him as he raced them away from certain death. How when they made it back to land he dropped his broom to the ground and put his hands on her back so she wouldn't fall. How he walked her all the way up to Gryffindor tower afterward, when he absolutely did not need to. How his mouth felt sucking her bottom lip in during that kiss at the slytherin party.
Ugh, she has to still be dosed with his amortentia. This is absurd. But Neville said the antidote worked for him. Maybe she needed a second dose. But Neville was much larger than her, so if his dose worked, hers should have worked better. But her having these feelings about Malfoy did not make logical sense. So she was sticking to the antidote solution.
She got out of bed and pulled out the invisibility cloak. She would remake the antidote and try again. She wasn't going to get any sleep this way. And she had caught herself thinking about him way too many times since potions class that it had to be a lingering side effect.
She sneaks down to the potions lab. It was almost 2:00. She dodged Mrs Norris up by the entrance hall but otherwise had no issues getting here. She quickly makes the antidote potion. Luckily Slughorn had the foresight to ask for more flowers than he needed. Because it was now up to the herbology department to grow them, since the meadow was destroyed and that part of the forest was now infested with giant ass spiders.
She shakes her head to herself. She doesn't think any creature deserves to go extinct, but damn Hagrid for introducing a rapidly reproducing, dangerous invasive species to the forest surrounding a school full of children.
She finishes the antidote and takes a double dose. Waits. She tries thinking about Malfoy again. She doesn't feel an overall difference. But she ladles up two extra doses to take with her. She needs to be sure it's gone. She cleans up and pockets the extras. She pulls the cloak over her head and pulls open the door.
Halfway toward the stairs that lead up to the entrance hall she sees Malfoy walking toward her. She freezes. She's invisible. She doesn't have to say anything. Just let him pass. She steps silently toward the wall and waits. He passes by her two steps and then stops. He narrows his eyes and looks around. He looks toward the potions classroom and then back down the hall. He walks passed her again two steps and stops.
Her heart is racing. She's trying not to breathe too loudly. He sticks a hand out and touches the wall she's standing against, and walks back the two steps. She tries ducking but he catches the cloak with his other hand, yanking on it.
"Malfoy" she scolds and holds onto the cloak, she pulls the hood down. "How did you know I was here?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." He says with a smirk. "What is an ex-prefect doing wandering around the potions corridor in the middle of the night with an invisibility cloak?"
"None of your business." She turns and continues her path back home, pulling the hood back up. He follows her. "I don't need an escort." She tries but is stopped by Mrs Norris in her path. Malfoy runs into the back of her invisible form. Just then, the mischievous cackle of Peeves descends the stairs. "Shit" she whispers. She won't get in trouble, but if she's caught she will have to explain to the headmistress why she got caught in the middle of the night making an antidote to amortentia. And that is just as mortifying.
She turns and bumps into Malfoy again, "oof" he grabs her arm and pulls her down a side hall, running. He suddenly stops and pulls aside a tapestry, she's never been this way in the dungeons. Has never had a need to explore them, Potions and slytherin house is her extent of exploration.
He pushes her to slip into an alcove behind the tapestry. There is barely enough space for one person to fit in here. It's barely an indent in the wall. She's pressed tight against it to make room for him. He slips in and drops the tapestry, facing her. He immediately realizes his mistake but it's too late now, they can hear Peeves spot Mrs Norris and start pestering her, then the hobbling sounds of Filch coming to her rescue.
They hear Filch say, "stop it you poltergeist. Mrs Norris smells students out of bed, which way did they go sweetums." Footsteps start toward them.
Hermione pulls open the cloak and slips it around him as best she can without disturbing the tapestry, he catches on to her idea and helps. They are both under the cloak now and trying not to touch each other. Hermione has an idea and grabs her wand, she casts a spell to mask their scent. Malfoy nods his approval.
"In here, Mrs Norris?" Filch says just outside. Then he lifts open the tapestry. He stares at an empty alcove and looks down at the cat, she sniffs and then turns around, searching for the scent she lost. He drops the tapestry and follows her.
They wait, listening intently. Hermione is hyper-aware of his proximity. She's staring directly at his neck, where she had buried her face. She slips her wand back in her pocket and brushes his hand. He quickly moves his hands up against the wall at her shoulders. "Stop moving" he whispers.
"Sorry!" She whispers back. "Do you think they are gone?" A meow and more hobbling back and forth down the corridor.
"They aren't here anymore Mrs Norris, let's go back the other way, maybe we can still catch them." Filch says just outside.
Peeves says a moment later "if I catch them first I can test out my new dungbombs." With a cackle of glee.
Their voices fade down the hall.
Neither Hermione nor Malfoy move. She tells herself that she's giving Filch and Peeves time to get out of her path back upstairs.
The air is heavy under the cloak together. She reaches her hand behind him to pull the cloak off of him. As she does so, he exhales and drops his head, looking directly at her. She feels something heavy in her chest. She looks at his mouth instinctively and that seems to pull him in. She decides to try something crazy. Instead of grabbing the cloak like she had planned, she turns her hand and touches his shirt. He sucks a breath in, she licks her lips, and then he kisses her.
Fire shoots through her veins as they connect. His hands move from the wall behind her. He slips his fingers through her hair at her nape, and the other hand winds itself around her waist. She clutches at the back of his shirt, afraid to move. He tastes so sweet. She is unaware of anything else besides their kiss right now. The fire concentrates in her low abdomen and she starts to feel an ache building deep in her core.
A cat meows just outside and it startles them. They jump apart and both stand there frozen. He looks at her in shock, fear. of what they'd just done. He steps back, shakes his head, closes his eyes tightly and whispers "I'm sorry". Before covering her with the cloak and stepping out from behind the tapestry.
"Ahah!" Shouts filch. "Thought I'd left did ya? I knew you was hiding somewhere and I knew I'd catch ya. Time for some punishments huh? Off to professor Slughorn with ya. Good job missus Norris. You did catch him I knew you would."
Filch's voice fades as they walk back down the corridor. She stays there in shock for minutes as she thinks about what just happened. Her body cooling, breath returning to normal. She feels an unfamiliar wetness in her knickers and realizes she's shaking." She touches her lips and thinks about his face as he whispers "I'm sorry". Her heart catches and she tears herself from the alcove and runs all the way back to her dorm.
Everyone is asleep and she locks herself in the bathroom with a silencing charm and slides down the door and cries.