Use Your Words
Chapter Five
Tuesday February 15th 2010
There was a silence of a few minutes after they had both come from having phone sex. She curled up underneath her covers. "Derek?"
"Mmm-hmmm?"
"I meant every word. Did you?" She nibbled her bottom lip as she waited for his answer. She couldn't help asking. She needed to know this wasn't just flirty fun anymore.
He told her "I have never meant anything more. Tonight all I wanted most was to come inside of you so you could feel me like that and know you're my angel, my sweetheart, my woman, my solace, my heart, my everything, baby girl."
"Oh, wow."
"If you want time-"
"I didn't say I need time. Please don't do this. Don't back away again."
"Woman, I'm not backing away from anything. I'm trying to tell you that if I need to keep waiting for you then I can wait and I will wait. Take all the time you want or need to heal after what went down with your ex but when you're ready.....just know I'm right here and I will never go anywhere. My future is with you, Penelope Morgan."
Shivers went down her spine and her heart melted at hearing her first name combined with his last name. "Look at you, sug. Just phone sex has you being the sweetest sweetheart lover baby ever. What are you gonna be like once I lay it on you for real?"
"Yours. That's what I'm gonna be, Garcia. Ain't no question about that. Not for me anyway."
She smiled widely. There was a long silence.
"Baby girl?"
"Will you tell me something, please. Answer me a question and be honest."
"All right. Ask me anything, Penelope. I'm an open book for you tonight."
"Ohhh, now don't go tempting me too much. I just might ask you all sorts of kinky things that would make you blush."
He chuckled. "I'm way past blushing tonight. You took talking dirty to a whole new level this time. I'm really proud of you right now."
She laughed. "Well that's why we work. Cause you would be proud of something like that."
He laughed. "You got talent. Why shouldn't I be proud if my woman has a hot sexy mouth and dirty mind filled with thoughts of me? I ain't gonna believe you ever were like this with anybody else. This is our thing and its damn good."
"Oh, yes, it is. Its so good that I'm very sleepy right now. But I wanna know something first. If I would have told you that it was over with me and Kevin would you have done anything to be with me? Or just kept waiting?"
A moment passed. "I honestly don't know what I would have done."
"Oh."
"Its just about me believing you really are over him for good. If I could believe that then I would have done whatever it took to show you how you got my heart. I know I held back before, girl, but I think you know that I've been getting better at telling you that I do love you and all you mean to me. Maybe I started being able to find the words too late but all along I let you know that you had a spot nobody else could touch. Nobody hears the words from me that you hear and I never would let any other woman hear me talk like that. None of it. Cause you're my girl. I was a flirt before I met you, sure, but you bring it out of me in a way no one else ever could. Its just you who hears that kind of talk from me now. Just you. Only you. Always you. I just didn't know if that was ever gonna matter to you again."
"You will forever matter to me, I swear that to you, my love."
"I wanna kiss you so bad right now. I wish I was with you in your bed, baby girl. I wish you were in my arms."
"Oh, I wish that too. I wish I could reach down and wrap my fingers around your cock. I want to touch every inch of you. Lick every inch. Learn every inch. Feel every inch inside of me. Feel your cum inside of me. I'm so sick of not knowing that feeling. Its been so long that I've had to use condoms. Its so old but I wouldn't want to take the chance with someone I couldn't let be the father of my babies. I wouldn't want to experience that with anyone but you. Only your warm, sticky cum should be filling me up and dripping over my thighs, my stomach, my breasts, my face, down my throat, on my lips. I wanna be covered in you, Derek."
"Fuck, girl, don't start this again or else I'll be hard as a rock all over again. Watch yourself, woman. It sounds so good but you said you're tired and I want my girl to get some sleep. Lots of sleep. I wanna take you out tomorrow and, I'm telling you right now, its not ending up in bed so get that thought out of your dirty, beautiful mind."
"What the hell? You tell me you wanna marry me and then you start this game again. I can't do this with you, Derek! I can not play anymore games. I'm not gonna do this another damn time. I won't. I'm not being part of that again so you might as well forget it. If that's what you want then you're out of luck. I will not be led on just to be pushed away another hundred times by you! I am so over that. I want more for my life and I need more. You said you did too. You said you needed me tonight."
"Hush! Pump your brakes. First off, we have never been where you are right now before so don't compare the games we played together years ago to this. That was nothing like this. Second, its not a game to say we gotta wait to make love. Its what I want and what I need and if you can't get past your libido and give me that then you've got the problem and not me."
"Why do you need to wait? Why? If you want me then what are we waiting for? Another bomb to almost kill you and break my heart? Is that what you wanna wait for? Or do you just want me to go crazy over here and have to keep fingering myself every night cause I can't have you here taking care of me like you should be? Hmm? What are we waiting for? A sign from God, Derek?"
"I wanna wait until you know with every bit of your hard head that I am in love with you, Penelope. I....I love you, you know that, right? You know that I love you very much, don't you? Tell me if you know how much I love you. Do you know that I look at houses that are for sale and I think about how that could be our house? Do you know I've cried over you being with Lynch? Do you know that when a case gets to me, when it has kids involved, I sometimes think about the kids I thought me and you could never have because you didn't love me anymore? How I hated myself for losing your love. Do you know that? Cause if you did you wouldn't call this a damn game. And until I take you out and show you my love over and over for weeks and weeks we will not make love. If you don't like that, you hard headed woman, I don't know what to tell you but too bad."
With tears streaming down her face she whispered into the phone "Baby, I love you and I just wanna make love to you. Its been you for so long. Always you. I do know you love me. I know it. I feel it every day. I just never was sure you'd tell me and you'd take me to your bed and you'd kiss me....come over right now and kiss me, Derek. Please, if you love me come here and kiss me."
There was a long pause.
"Derek?"
"Hold on."
She could hear him getting up and getting dressed. Her heart raced.
He ordered her "Do not shower," and then he hung up. Penelope jumped out of bed to do her hair and make up. He said she shouldn't shower but he didn't say she couldn't look her best. She was about to get the kiss she had waited six years for. She needed to look good for that. For her future husband.
Butterflies chased around her body. She felt so giddy, happy and free. He loved her. He really loved her. Nothing could bring her down now.