A/N: I am probably the worst author in the history of Fan Fiction. I made you wait over a month to figure out what was going to happen with our lovely characters.
I know that this is long coming so I am going to leave you with the a huge I am SO SORRY for the wait.
This is the final chapter of Blue Moon. Chapter 34, finally. Enjoy...
Renesmee's Point of View
"Do I really have to go today mom," I asked as she sat next to Ross and I on my bed.
"Yes sweetie, it's time that we all go back to school and get back to being normal. I know that it is going to be weird to adjust to after everything that we have been through but we really need to get going. You two need to start getting dressed. We are leaving in a half an hour."
"Can you have Alice come down," I asked. "My hair just is not going to do anything today and it needs to be done…" Before I could finish Alice was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a curling iron in her hand.
"Go into the bathroom and sit. Bella you put together her outfit and Ross," she paused. "Just look halfway decent and get some food in your system. You two are driving together so be sure tot warm the car up so that you two are ready to go."
"Alright," he stated plainly. She rushed into the bathroom and I looked sympathetically at Ross. All he did was smile at me and kiss the top of my forehead.
"Would you two stop making out already and Nessie get your cute little but in here," she yelled from the bathroom. I kissed his lips quickly before I dragged myself into the bathroom. Alice all but pushed me down in the chair and brushed through my hair with such speed that I could barely keep up with her.
Before I knew it my hair was in perfect beach curls that hung so far down my back that I couldn't even see it all. I smiled and gave Alice a quick hug before going into my room. I had an outfit laid out on the bed for me. It was a pair of skinny jeans with a plain white t-shirt and a tight black sweater. My mom paired it with a pair of cute platform black boots and I smiled. Alice came over and had approved the outfit.
She went upstairs and I quickly put on my outfit for the day. I looked once in the mirror, straighten out the already perfectly ironed sweater and headed upstairs. Everybody was in the living room with different expressions on their faces. Alice was bouncing up and down on Jasper's lap, content to be where she was and was more than excited to be going back to school.
My mom and my dad were also sitting with each other dazzling into one another's eyes. It was like there was nothing else in the world except for the two of them and that is what had always surprised me about them. They didn't care who looked at them or who whispered because all they cared about was each other.
I envied them to a degree because I wished I didn't care what other people where saying but truth be told going back to school today was scaring me because of our long absence and knowing that people would be talking about us. I wondered what kind of story Ross would give them with his injury and I wondered if anybody would notice the changes in each of us. Although our changes where minor and not really noticeable to anybody else, to me they were like a big target above my head.
I had seen way too much and I felt like a monster. It was really hard to pretend that I was just like everybody else when I walked back into the school with my parents walking hand in hand in front of me and Ross. I didn't know if I would be able to be human again after doing the things that I had done and seen my father like that. Pictures of him in the state he was in just kept flying through my head, like I was watching a horror movie that wouldn't end.
Sometimes I hated my gift because although I could control it when I wasn't thinking about it or something was lying heavily in my mind I wasn't able to control it as well as I wanted to. I looked up at Ross as he stopped dead in the hallway and looked down at me. I instantly realized what I had done and tried to stop the images in my head with happier ones, like me falling over 3 times trying to kick start my dirt bike.
He instantly laughed, causing everybody to stare at us in disbelief. I wondered if anybody knew what was really going on between us. I wondered if they knew that we were living together and that he was basically a part of my family. I didn't know if they saw that part of me or if they were just looking at us as a normal high school couple. I really wished they saw us as normal because that is all that I had ever wanted to be.
Ross and I were as good as ever as I said goodbye to him with a quick kiss before I headed off to class. I watched him walk down the hallway with a little bit of a limp and I looked after him with a puzzled look on my face. I hadn't seen him limp in a little while and I was scared that he had re injured himself.
"Don't worry about him," my dad said putting his arm around my shoulders. I had jumped a little bit at the sound of his voice and I had no idea why. I felt like I was completely in my own little world. "He is just trying to make it look more believable that he was in a horrible car accident. He's pretending just as much as we are."
"Well maybe he just wants to be a part of this family that badly," I stated quietly.
"How would you feel about skipping gym to hang out with your dad," he whispered into my ear.
"I would love that right now," I breathed with a sigh of relief. Although I knew the talk with my dad would probably be more torture than going to gym I decided that I really needed to talk to him alone. We hadn't even been able to talk about all that happened in Volterra and I knew that is what he wanted to talk to me about. He must have seen the visions that we in my head from that day and so once all of the students and teachers were in class we ducked at the back door and basically ran towards the woods.
Once we were there my father put his arm around my shoulders as we lowered towards the cold rock on the edge of the forest. I knew that he wanted to be able to talk to me about what had happened but I was still afraid.
"I'm sorry," he stated quietly. "I never meant for you to see any of that. I just wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been."
"It's not your fault dad. You got attacked and there is nothing that any of us could have done to stop it. Mom and I were trying to stick together because we figured that it would be better that way but somehow we both got caught up in the moment and didn't even realize that you were in trouble. I feel horrible because I wasn't there for you."
"Don't blame yourself Nessie. You were protecting yourself and your mother and that is all that I could ever ask for. I was worried about you two the entire time because I couldn't bare the thought of losing either of you. I just wanted you to be okay."
"We aren't the ones that were……detached," I stated mildly.
"I'm feeling okay but I am still a little sore."
"Vampires can get sore," I asked.
"Well when they are torn apart and put back together again I guess the joints would take a little bit of time to heal," he said with a chuckle. I smiled but I wasn't really feeling like any of this was funny. "Too soon," he asked.
"A little," I whispered.
We sat in silence for a little while just listening to the silence of the forest. It was nice because a lot of animals, birds in particle, had migrated south and I didn't have to listen to all of their constant chirping. I smiled to myself a little bit when I realized that everything in my life at this exact moment in time was going to be okay. All of the people that I loved were okay and with the silence of the forest surrounding me I realized that I wouldn't be in this moment in time ever again.
"You know," my dad said breaking my sense of serenity. "I told Ross that he could take care of you if something happened to me."
"Why would you say that," I asked, although it did make me happy that my dad would trust Ross with that.
"I wanted to make sure that you would be okay if I weren't here with you anymore. I was trying to take care of the loose ends before I left. I told him that he could marry you too."
"Jes dad, do you really want me out of the house that soon?"
"No I want you to stay at home forever because you are my little girl and you always will be. You have been a miracle to your mother and me. I just want you to have what we have and what our family has. Sure we have made a life for ourselves were we stick together as a family but I am sure that at some point your guys will want to be on you own. I know that you will come back but when you two do go off on your own I want you to be married. It's just the way that I am accustomed to."
"Dad, I'm actually only 7 years old. Do you really think that I want to get married?"
"Nessie I see the way that you two look at each other and love is love no matter which way you look at things. I know that marriage is a strong word and I guess that you got that reaction from your mom. She was so ready to give up her mortality in order to be with me but it was like pulling teeth to get her to say yes to marrying me."
"I'm not saying that I am afraid of marriage. I want to at least wait until I am out of high school to get married. I am sure that you can understand that."
"That makes me happy in some ways I guess. Do you think that Ross will be the one that you marry?"
"Yes," I stated before he could even finish his sentence. I knew that Ross was going to be the one that I spent the rest of my life with. We had so much in common and I loved every single part of him. He was my life.
"I felt the same way as you do," my dad stated answering my thoughts.
"I really wish that I could block your thoughts like mom."
"I know that you do but at least I know what my teenage daughter is really thinking."
"So fabulous for me," I stated with a laugh. I guess it couldn't be too bad. I guess that it's a good thing that I didn't have many dirty thoughts. I don't think that he could handle it.
"No I really couldn't. I think that I would have a heart attack."
"Now I know that vampires can't have a heart attack."
We laughed a little bit and our laughter was silenced by the bell ringing in the distance. We got up and walked back towards the school. When we walked in the students were already in the hallways and we blended in as if we had been there the entire time. I could see some people staring at us but I didn't care. I didn't really care what people thought of me because there was a lot that I had been through in my short life that none of these people would ever know.
Ross' Point of View
It really bothered me that I only got 1 class a day with Nessie and lunch. I didn't like being by myself and since my friends all seemed to be ignoring me I felt like I was alone. I hadn't been to school in almost in a month because of my car accident and vacation. It was surreal to be back here after thinking that I had lost my love.
I smiled when I saw her at her locker. It felt like days since I had seen her but it was only a few hours. She dropped her things and ran towards me in the hallway. She jumped into my arms and almost knocked me over. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her as tight as I could. I don't know how long we stood there with her wrapped around me but the time didn't seem like it was long enough.
I never wanted her to get off of me because I really liked the position that we were in. I smiled and kissed her forehead as she slipped off of me to stand on the floor. She looked up at me and I saw a few tears in her beautiful brown eyes.
"What's wrong," I asked quietly.
"I'm just happy," she stated putting her arms around my waist and digging her head into my shoulder. I smiled as I put my arms around her again.
We walked back to her locker after a few moments and picked up her books and her bag. I didn't want to leave her but after our Spanish class and lunch it was a few more hours until I got to see her again.
When the day was done my leg was a little sore from walking around on it all day so I was happy when I got to go home and lay in bed for the rest of the day to rest it. I smiled when Nessie lay down next to me.
"So what was with your reaction at school," I asked her.
"I just wanted you to know how much I love you."
"You talked to your dad didn't you," I stated.
"How did you know?"
"Because I saw Ann and she told me that you ditched gym and I figured since it wasn't with me it was with him. You guys haven't talked since you got back really and I knew you had a lot of stuff to talk about."
"We did get to talk about a lot of stuff."
"Like what?"
"Like he told me what you guys talked about before we left and how he is feeling."
"Oh like him telling me that I could marry you and be turned into a vampire."
"He didn't tell me the second part," she said in disbelief as she sat up in bed and faced me. Was she upset? I couldn't really read her emotions and it was making me mad. "What did you say to it? Do you really want to be a vampire? What was my dad thinking without even talking to me about it first?"
"Calm down. Do you not want me to be a vampire?"
"Yes and no."
"Why?"
"No because I love it when you get cold because you don't wear the appropriate clothes and I love you eyes and how soft you are. I love that you can sleep with me at night and I love that you are breakable. But at the same time I want you to be like me because I will fell more like an equal with you. You will be the same age as I am and we won't grow old. I want you to be a real part of my family and I want you in my life. It's just the fact that I don't want you to change yet."
"Well it's not like I am going to change tomorrow. It is a lot to think about."
"What do you want to do?"
"I want to be with you forever and if that means that I have to a vampire then that it what is going to take. I don't know everything about my future but what I do know is that I want to be with you."
"Aren't we too young for this? I mean we're not supposed to be this serious. We are supposed to wait."
"That is the clique but we are different. Your family is different. It's not so unheard of with your family that mates find each other so young. Look at your parents. Your mom was only 17 when she knew what she wanted and that was your dad."
"But when?"
I paused for a minute because I didn't know when I wanted to be changed. I didn't think that it was all up to me but at the same time it was going to be my life that I was sacrificing. I know that if I told my friends I knew that I wanted to marry Nessie they would all think that I was crazy. We hadn't even known each other a year yet but there was a connection that I had with her that I knew wouldn't go away.
I loved every single thing about her from her hair to her fuzzy slippers to the fact that she could look absolutely gorgeous even first thing in the morning and look like she was sparkling in every kind of way every time that she looked at me. I knew that I wanted to be with her as soon as I possibly could.
"When it won't raise suspicion," I stated. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and chuckled a little bit.
"Look you're already acting like a Cullen."
"See I know how to be stealthy."
She kissed me quickly and then we laid down in bed for a little over an hour. After we took a quick nap Nessie heard everybody upstairs talking. We moaned a little bit before dragging ourselves out of bed and going upstairs to join in the fun.
Bella's Point of View
We all seemed like we were just one big happy family after Ross and Renesmee joined us. Everybody had their family and friends around them and almost everybody had their mate next to them. I could finally see how perfectly we all fit in together. Even the newest additions of our family seemed like they had been there all along. Grace and Carrie seemed to be connecting along with Ann. She seemed to be like a long lost friends or family.
Jacob seemed very happy with his arm around Leah talking to Ross and Renesmee. They had made such big strides to all be friends, even with the history they all had together. Although Jake still loved Renesmee he found a way to deal with the fact that she only wanted to be friends and with his acceptance of knowing this he was able to be happy with Leah. He was a great friend to my daughter and her mate and I couldn't have been happier about it.
I was enjoying having everybody together that I was reluctant about having everybody leave. Now that Camden had found Grace and Aedan had found Tanya we were probably going to lose them. The pack, as much as they would love to be here, needed to go back to La Push. Our foreign friends had already gone home but the rest of us didn't know what we were going to do.
"I think it's time for a meeting," Carlisle spoke up above the crowd. I looked at Edward and got up off of his lap. I walked to the table in the dining room and Ross sat down with a bowl of cereal. It was the first time that I had actually seen somebody eat at that table.
Once we had all taken our seats Carlisle spoke.
"I know that everybody is thinking about what is going to happen now that the Volturi have been defeated. For a long time they have been the ones that come to the rescue when something in our world goes astray. But now that they are gone we have a hard decision to make. Our world keeps growing and at this rate we need to be careful and know what everybody is doing.
We have our lives here with all of you in school and with my job I love to help people as all of you know. I want all of you to understand that there are certain things that we are going to have to deal with in the coming months like figuring out how we are going to make everything work. For the most part we are going to go on with our normal lives.
However, when the case calls for it, we are going to need to intervene. It doesn't mean that we are going to be like the Volturi and sit in a castle for all of eternity but we do need to act like them when it comes to protecting our secret. We have most of the world covered with our friends over seas and it is our jobs to protect the United States. Vladimir and Stefan have agreed to keep a look over things, since it what they have always wanted.
I think that the wolves could cover the northwest pacific and we've got the northeast all the way down to Connecticut. The Denali's have Alaska and its surrounding regions covered but it is a manner of finding enough people to cover the rest. It is not going to be easy but we need our nomads to keep an eye out on the happenings of the south, where most of our troubles spring from. Jasper, do you have any other friends down there that could keep an eye out?"
"I've got it," Alice said. "I can see if anything is going to happen. There is no need for Jasper to have to revisit the past that he has been trying to be rid of."
"Are you really going to be able to be that perceptive," Carlisle asked her.
"Yes. I have tried many times to make sure that nothing of great significance has happened down there. I've been trying to tune my skills incase something like this ever happened because I knew that it would eventually. I don't need to see the future in order to know that the Volturi weren't going to last forever."
"If you need me to," Josh spoke up. "I could move down there with Annie."
"There is no need," Carlisle spoke. "You want your daughter to grow up as normal as possible. In order for that to happen, you need to be able to go out in the daytime to bring her to school and so forth. What would happen if she played soccer and you couldn't go and see her games?"
"I guess that is a good point. I was just trying to help out in any way that I could."
"Your job is to stay here so that you can learn our way of living. I'm not trying to force it upon you but it would be nice to have more vegetarians around. It is not going to be easy, having been a newborn with the Volturi, but it can be done."
"I'm living proof," Jasper spoke. "I dealt with many years of carnage and destruction and feeding on humans but I have done very well since I met the Cullens. I was just like you at one point."
"And you do alright with that now?"
"I do okay. I'm not going to say that it has been easy because it hasn't. But it can be done. It is just going to take the right mind-set in order to overcome the things that you have been taught."
"I've done it too bro," Ann said. "I didn't know what to think when I was turned into a vampire because I never thought that they actually existed. I knew that I was in love when I first saw Alex but it was hard to believe that I was a vampire. Once I accepted what I was and realized that I wasn't a monster it was easy to overcome what I was craving. I wanted to be civilized and I know that you do too. You have come such a far way but it will be hard. We are all here for you and you are my only brother. You can't take my little Annie away from me. I need her in my life."
"I wanted to thank you for that. For taking care of her while I was gone."
"Think of it as a thank you for naming her after me. I thought that was really touching and not something that you would ever do."
"You're welcome."
"While we are talking," Grace interrupted. "I want to thank you guys for not killing me. I know that you had every right to and I know that I was probably trying to kill you at one point but that is all that I was ever taught. I need people like you in my life."
"Camden," Aedan asked. "What is going to happen to us?"
"I don't know," he spoke quietly. "I want to stay here but I know how much Tanya means to you. If you want to go with her then I can understand that you want to make her happy. I just feel like this is the place for me."
"So are we going our separate ways then," Aedan asked solemnly.
"I guess that we are for now but it's not like we will never see each other again. Who knows, maybe the next time we see each other it will be for another great epic battle."
"Maybe," he said sadly.
It was hard to see the bond between the two of them was being broken. For so long they only had each other and nobody else to depend on. But from the day that Jasper and I had encountered them they fit seamlessly into our family. They had both found love in places that none of us thought they would. Aedan fell in love with Tanya and all of us never thought that Tanya would settle down with anybody. Then Camden found love in the mist of battle. Grace complimented him well and I was happy that the two of them were staying since Grace had become friends with all of us.
It seemed sad that this would be last time that all of us would be in a room together. Annie and Josh were staying in the main house because she already had a room decorated that way that she wanted, courtesy of Esme and there was another bedroom that Josh could sleep in. Grace would be staying with Camden, who was moving to the guest house with Ann, Carrie, John and Alex. Since Nahuel and his family had moved to Forks there was a lot of open space in our secondary home.
I pondered how well Josh would do with our family as the rest of my family spoke about what would happen. I understood the basic gist of what was going to happen and I didn't really want to listen anymore. Basically live life as normal until we were needed to clean up a mess. I looked across the table to Ross and Renesmee and if it were possible they looked more in love than I ever had. They seamlessly fit together like a puzzle and it turns out that Renesmee was turning into me more every single day.
I knew that Edward had talked to her about the possibility of marriage and Ross being changed into a vampire. It was true that she was too young to get married but I had gotten married when I was 18. I was biologically 18 though, while she was only 7 and half years old. I knew that if she wanted this there was nothing that was going to stop her. Maybe they could move into the other house to be away from her parents once they did get married.
I had to stop myself from thinking anymore because I didn't want my head to explode. I had the tendency to over think things from time to time and I didn't want to worry myself for the next few years that I was going to lose my little girl. But that also gave me those few years left with her because I knew that Ross wasn't going to be turned into a vampire tomorrow and they wouldn't be walking down the aisle instead of going to prom.
My life had changed so much in the past 7 years that it was hard to think back to where everything had started. I moved to Forks and I remember seeing Edward that first day and even then, in the back of my head, I knew that I would be sitting here many years later with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme. Who knew that my family would have grown this much? I had the pack, my best friend, Jacob and his wife Leah who announced that she was pregnant. Then we had Seth who was like a little brother to me and Quil and Embry who were just two big goofballs.
We came in counter with other vampires along the journey. I came in contact with Aedan and Camden while Jasper and I were practicing many months ago. Since they were introduced to our family and wanted to help us without even knowing who we were proved to me how wonderful they really were.
Then we met Ann, Carrie, John and Alex thanks to the Denali's. They were just like us in so many ways, making there own take on the life that we were given without even knowing that any other vampires like us existed. Ann had become one of my best friends and was also a great friend to my daughter while Carrie quickly fell into step with Alice, keeping up with any ideas that Alice may have had. John and Alex complimented the cousins well because they kept them grounded. If they hadn't saved them then there was no way that we would have gotten to know them and I wanted to thank them for that.
In the process of meeting Ann we came into contact with Josh, her older brother. Ann always had a hard time letting go of the family that she tried so hard to hang onto and her brother had always been one of her best friends. But he knew the secret so that was dangerous to him and his daughter Annie. Once Josh was kidnapped it gave us the opening that we needed.
The Volturi we always those unbeatable forces that nobody would oppose. They had arson of vampires who could destroy anybody without even a second glance. They were sadistic and didn't care about human sacrifice, as long as they kept the killing unsuspicious. It was when we finally defeated the Volturi that the last member of our family showed up.
Grace was a little spitball, about the size of Alice. She was loud and crazy and you needed to stay on her good side. She had joined the Volturi with her brother and was saved in battle by Camden. It was one of those moments when you knew that you had witnessed love at first sight. Those two were going to be happy together for a very long time and we were all going to see it first hand because they weren't going anywhere.
After an hour or so in the dining room some people started to say goodbye. It was depressing to think that I wouldn't see these people for years. I didn't want to say goodbye to anybody, to any member of my family. As large a family as I now had I didn't want to lose anybody. I was thankful that we had all made it out of battle alive.
The first to leave were the Denalis. Tanya had hated me at first but I think now that she had found somebody who she could spend the rest of her life with she wasn't so hell bent on hating me. She had even given me a hug goodbye, which was a big thing for her. I said goodbye to Aedan also and told him how proud I was of his progress and that Tanya would now help him whenever he needed it.
As they walked out the front door I knew that it was only going to get worse as the night went on. The pack was getting restless in a house full of vampires. No matter how long we went on being friends I think that they were still a little bit uncomfortable. Well not Seth or Jacob, they had come to terms with the whole mess of our lives. Leah and Jacob were both up the wall about expecting their child. I was happy that Jake had finally found his happily ever after.
As the pack was getting ready to leave they realized that one key member of their family was missing…Sue. What had happened to her? I knew that Ross said that she was visiting some friends but who would go this long without calling to make sure that her family was okay? That her son and daughter hadn't been killed in battle? We frantically wondered where she could be for hours.
Eventually Ross and Renesmee said goodnight and the pack promised that they would not be gone until after they had gone to school. Nessie had wanted a proper goodbye with Jake.
The entire night we were all sitting around the living room worried about Sue. As much as I didn't want to think of my dad I had to because once Harry had died he had helped Sue out so much and the two had gotten really close. I owed it to my dad to help in whatever way possible and we also owed the pack for doing everything that they were against, fighting along side vampires.
My phone rang in the middle of the night; it had to be around 3 in the morning. It was Nahuel.
"Bella," he stated like he was out of breathe. "Somebody's been here."
"Where?"
"In Forks. It's not a human scent and there was a note on your door."
"What does it say? Nahuel, you have to tell me."
"It says…Dear Cullens, We know your secret. You didn't do as well hiding it as you thought you did. I know that you are wondering what could we possibly want with you. Well let's just say this. If you don't come out of hiding then your secret will be exposed. And oh, have you noticed dear Sue Clearwater is missing? We know all about her. So why don't you come home and we will settle this? Ta-ta for now. ~Mike. Bella, what do we do? Do we leave?"
My heart fell. Mike….What did Sue have to do with this? What did we do? We just got our lives back, why did all of this have to be happening? What are we going to do?
"Get as far away as possible and as fast as possible. We will be there at the first opportunity that we have."
I hung up the phone and everybody was looking at me with questioning eyes.
"Somebody has Sue. There was a note in Forks when Nahuel and his family got there. It's not human either. It must be another group of vampires but who could possibly want to harm us? We haven't done anything to anybody."
"What did it say exactly," Edward asked.
I put my shield away from me as far as I could as I ran through the note in my head. Edward looked at me and I thought I almost saw his eyes bug out of his head.
"He's not getting revenge on us as vampires. He is getting revenge on us as humans," Edward stated. "They are finally strong enough to take us on."
"But what could the people in Forks want with us," Esme asked. "We left."
"But with a lot of problems left behind apparently. There is only one person that I could think about that would still have a vendetta against us and his name is Mike."
"Mike Newton," all of us answered at once almost in a whisper. We looked around frantically at each other not knowing what to do. Mike Newton was a vampire and he was looking for his revenge, starting with Sue and eventually he would work his way to me.
A/N: So what do you think about Mike Newton being a vampire and looking to get his revenge on the Cullens?
He always wanted Bella and now he is a big strong vampire just like Edward.
How many others will be affected by Mike? Find out in the upcoming sequel Crimson Cresent due to start sometime in the near future.
Stay tuned and set me to author alert. I will also post something here letting you know that is up.
So I am sad to see that my story is finally over but I feel releaved at the same time. It was a struggle at times but tonight I just got inspired. I guess being in school again has my mind on overload. I will try as hard as I can to get the sequel out but it might not be updated as often as this story sometimes was. But hey a story with this many words in less than a year is amazing.
Please let me know what you guys have thought about the chapter or the story in general. I want to hear from all of you because I now that there are a lot of you out there that don't review. As for everybody that has I am extremely grateful as always and I will be better with responding to them. It is hard sometimes but thank you for making me feel like that my writing matters.
So please do me one last favor and review, let me know what you think, what you want to happen and how well do you think I ended it? PM me too if I don't update soon. I will also be leaving messages on my profile on how everything is going.
Thank you all for sticking with me through all of this because it was a process of figuring out who I was as a writer and as a person. Thank you all so much and look for Crimson Crescent, coming soon to a computer screen near you.
I love you all and leave me with some words of encouragement.