With all the crap going on, I've nearly forgotten about my story Adopted! Poor Rikay was sitting in the back of my word documents with all the other lonely stories. I could've either left it like it was, or actually stop procrastinating and finish it! There, happy? I wrote a god damned third chapter. *Sigh* I listened to the Owl City album Ocean Eyes like, 50 million times while I was writing this. And I can't believe it took doing all of my homework, cleaning my entire room, organizing all of my manga by alphabetical order, taking all my damn clothes out of the drawer and refolding them for this to even cross my mind. Wow, I made it sound like I have OCD there, didn't I? But I don't. Trust me. That old hobo digging through the McDonalds garbage is 10x more OCD than I am.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in the story (Besides Rikay, she's mine), and I don't own Death Note. If I owned Death Note, there'd be a major twist before *SPOILER* L dies *SPOILER OVER* where Light realizes how fucked up his plan for the world is and realizes how much he loves L, and then gives the Death Note away to Matsuda, who becomes an even better Kira than Light was, and kills off Aizawa's afro! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! Woah… got a little off track there…
So yeah, where we left off like, five months ago, Melly-kinz was cross-dressing and he and his adorable little adopted daughter Rikay left Matt tied up in the house for an hour after promising to be back in 30 minutes because they got distracted by burning cars, chocolate shops, Hot Topic, and things of that nature. Now they're driving back home as fast as physically possible because they're doomed. *Bum bum buuuum!!!!* Now on with the story!
SHORT RECAP
I calculated how long we'd been gone in my head as fast as I could, then it my lip. "An hour…" I whispered.
"Oh shit…" We muttered in unison.
-
"FLOOR IT MOM!" I shouted, arms flailing. Oh god, Dad was gonna be so pissed.
Mom slammed on the acceleration and we were speeding through the streets, weaving in and out of cars. And then we heard that tell-tale sound of police sirens. He swore under his breath and slowed down, pulling over at the side of the road. "Ri-chan, hand me my gun." He hissed, eyes closed.
I shook my head. "Sorry Mom, not gonna let you get arrested this time. We gotta make it home fast, remember? Not a good time to go to jail." I said before he rolled down the window.
A handsome young man in a blue uniform strolled over to the side of the car and looked at us. "I'm going to have to see your license and registration please, ma'am" He said.
I could almost see a blood vessel pop in Mom's forehead. 'That guy's doomed', I wanted to laugh out loud. He was basically quaking in rage. Ten seconds passed before the officer repeated himself. Then Mom blew up. Ah one of his famous temper tantrums. I'm afraid I can't put everything he said, because then this would get itself a nice little M rating, but here's a hint;
"I'M NOT A ******* LADY! I'M A ******* MAN AND IF YOU SAY THAT AGAIN I WILL RIP OFF YOUR ******** LEGS AND STICK THEM TO YOUR HEAD YOU ********** *******! I ******* LEFT MY BOYFRIEND TIED UP IN A ******* CHAIR AT HOME AND I REALLY NEED TO GET BACK FAST OR I'M NOT GETTING ******* LAID TONIGHT ******! NOW GET THE **** AWAY FROM MY CAR BEFORE I SHOOT YOUR ******* BRAINS OUT OF YOUR ******* HEAD!"
Isn't that lovely? And that wasn't even a third of it. Add in all of the other numerous swear words and threats, and we had the police officer in so much shock that he let us off with a warning and stumbled back to the police car in a daze. And I could've sworn that some of the other cars even stopped for a second to hear what Mom had been saying.
"Nice one there…" I chuckled as we resumed speeding to the apartments. We only had another couple blocks to go, and we'd made it there in record time. Mom was just a blond blur as he dashed up the stairs, swearing loudly when the key refused to go in the lock. I took that chance to actually catch up to him after grabbing all of the food, and as soon as I got to his side, the door finally opened. We darted inside and to the living room to find something extremely surprising.
ABRUPT COMMERCIAL BREAK! XD
Lol, this is L, stuck in a well, so bitch, go to hell.
ABRUPT COMMERCIAL BREAK OVER! XD
The chair we had tied him to was sitting in the middle of the room, all of the duct tape still around it, but there was something missing. And by something missing, I mean that Dad wasn't in that duct tape. It was just lying there limply as if it's occupant had just disappeared into thin air. And Dad was sitting there lazily on the couch, playing a videogame and smoking a cigarette.
"It's Houdini's fucking reincarnate…" I mumbled to myself as Mom's eye twitched.
"What… where… how…?" He couldn't finish any of those questions.
Dad didn't even look up from his PSP. "Got off of the chair and took the tape off ten minutes after you left, went and found all my cigarettes in that box in the dumpster, and as for how I did it all, that's gonna stay a secret sweetheart. Did you get dinner?" He asked, leaving us dumbstruck.
Fifteen minutes later, we were all sitting around the living room, eating tacos and watching America's Funniest Home Videos. Mom says that he and Dad grew up in England. I can't remember so well, but I think that I was born in France. I only lived there a few years before my parents died though, so I don't remember much of it. Just most of the orphanages I went to before one of the families that adopted me moved me to America and dropped me off at another orphanage in the US about a month later. I think that was the family that I pretended that I could see ghosts and say that they would torture me and tell them that the 'ghosts' said that they were going to make me burn down the house. It doesn't seem all that funny to most people, but it was hilarious as hell when the mother, Tracy, I think, called the local orphanage telling them that I was the most "Ungodly demon child who'd ever stepped foot in her house before, and that I needed to be sent to an asylum straight away". But after one interview with the people at the wacky shack, they decided I was a 'normal child' and just sent me to the orphanage.
In the middle of an 'exploding snowman' montage, the phone rang. I was closest, so I picked it up.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hello, this is Linda, is Matt there?" A female voice said at the other end.
I blinked. "Hold on." I covered the receiver. "Daddy! It's your stalker!" I whispered just loud enough for him to hear. It was true, unfortunately. This crazy girl Linda had supposedly gone to the same 'genius kids' orphanage as Mom, Dad, and Uncle Near and fell in love with Dad despite his obvious gayness. And apparently, Uncle L's butler founded the orphanage, now that I'm remembering it. I wonder how Linda even got there? She's as dumb as a sack of hammers. In fact, I think that sack of hammers has fifty times the IQ as her.
"Tell her I'm not here." Dad said, eyes wide.
I put the phone back up to my ear. "Yeah, he's visiting a friend and he's not home." I said.
"Liar, I can see him through the window." I could almost hear the glare she most likely had on. I turned around and saw her hanging out on the balcony ledge, her eyes fixed on the redhead. I swore quietly and hung up.
"DAD! She's watching you again!" I yelled as I ran across the room, picking up the purple MegaBlaster Squirt Gun (Which looked like a bazooka or something) that we had kept specifically for this purpose and opening the sliding glass door, aiming it at the brunette and cackling maniacally. "FALL BITCH! FALL TO YOUR DEATH!" I hollered, soaking her with just about ten gallons of freezing water.
"Nooooooo!" She screeched, trying to cling onto the balcony rail. But she fell. And unfortunately, she fell onto a stack of old broken mattresses, standing up unscathed. Damn. "YOU WILL BE MINE MATT!" She shouted up at us as Mom and Dad came to see what the hell had happened.
"Give it up psycho-bitch! He'll never love you!" Mom yelled at her, laughing the whole time.
Linda brushed the dirt off her shoulders and waved at Matt like a shy schoolgirl and mouthed, "Call me" before she ran off without a trace.
Matt shuddered. "Now that's creepy…" He muttered, putting an arm around both Mom and I and walking back into the house.
Wow. Cute ending to the chapter, doncha think? And don't worry, it's not ending here. I've still got a long ways to go… *Sigh*
And I don't really have anything against Linda, I just couldn't think of anyone who'd stalk Matt (who's actually in the anime. I know there'd be a lot of Matt stalkers out there…) And as for the 5 to last paragraph and all the way down, I was laughing insanely as I was writing it. I can totally image Rikay yelling "FALL BITCH! FALL TO YOUR DEATH!"
I spent 3 and a half hours working on this. And for everyone who's read my story Confuzzling Luffles, I'm going to post the third chapter of that very soon, so be on the lookout! Anyway, reviews please! Those are all I'm really looking for to keep me motivated to keep going these days, to tell you the truth. So please, let me continue living. Review.