102

It was quiet and Ianto hummed as he walked the hallway with his daughter on his shoulder, her little hand scrabbling as she slept on, enjoying the sensation of movement. He got to the ranch slider and stared outside at the chaos beyond the glass. The tent had collapsed in one corner, Owen and Rhys out in the pounding rain and… Andy?... tried to help redo the ropes. A mist low on the ground made the entire thing seem ethereal, like it was out in the worlds somewhere.

A HUGE TV screen or something. Twats.

The storm was raging and he wondered why they had not simply asked him to... ah. Two little faces were peering out watching form the flap of the tent, their glee clear as they enjoyed the display of manly fuckerdoody. Well now… the boy did not let on Ianto could fix it.

Oh well… it kept them busy I guess. But go knows when Andy got roped in… pardon the pun. Hahaha. Jack had been called out for an audience with Her Majesty about something so these clowns were supposed to be babysitting. Well… they WERE entertaining the kids I guess.

Ianto walked to the kitchen to find three house elves working furiously on some food, the table set for him and he settled with Diana still asleep on him and his other hand not holding her reaching to pick up a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

A plate appeared.

Ianto hummed as he chose a small finger sandwich and then he looked at the empty fire grate, and there was suddenly a lovely cozy fire. Lovely. He ignored the slams against the glass that he knew were just wild animals, even if one did laugh softly before disappearing into the mist.

Just another morning in the Harkness-Jones house I guess.

The soft niggle of someone asking for entry was allowed, Ianto watching Dumbledore apparate by the fireplace to warm his hands with delight not a surprise really.

"Any left behind?" Ianto asked softly, watching another plate come rushing in for the professor, the house elves gleefully helpful this morning.

"No. All students have gone home for the holidays this year" Dumbledore grunted as he plonked into a chair and accepted a glass of her preferred tart lemonade "Ah, lovely."

Jack's phone was ringing, still connected to the charger… of course he forgot it….and Ianto sighed as he it up, surprised to se it was the Hub as everyone knew where his Nibs was "Tosh?"

He listened with a disinterested air, only becoming interested towards the rend when he sat up straighter and looked around "ah… Splat… can you guys mind the baban for a couple of hours, or until her father remembers where we live and comes home, if I am not back beforehand?"

"Of course my lovely lord" came the reply from several excited voices as now the House Elves rushed to seize the baby and pull her into their clutches.

"Like piranhas" Ianto muttered, rising and looking down at Dumbledore. "Well now. Would you like to come weevil hunting?"

"Weevil?" the old man blinked, totally unaware of what Ianto meant. What is a Weevil? Sounds interesting "Of course dear boy. Let's go."

Seems Dumbledore had never been in a vehicle before, the novelty of 'muggling' making him snigger as Ianto explained the reasons for blinkers, lights, seatbelts… etc. Seriously … these being had NO magic at all? A Horn as a safety device? He found it amazing that they survived at all really.

It did move nice and fast mind, he did like speed. Weird with no wind in your hair though, like being cheated somehow.

Then Ianto slammed on the brakes and yelled "I see it Tosh."

Dumbledore now turned his head to see what Ianto 'saw' and was shocked to see some sort of creature running hell for leather towards what appeared to be a large drainage pipe or something.

"Oh no you don't' you fucker" Ianto snarled. He stomped the gas and Dumbledore yelped as they took off over the field, the SUV catching some air Owen would have loved and Ianto aimed true, Mister Copperbadge's grillwork hitting the Weevil dead-bang.

Then Ianto let the vehicle drift sideways to a stop, undid the seatbelt and exited the vehicle while it was still sliding and began firing on the thing now struggling to get up. Dumbledore got out and shakily approached the creature to look down at it with horror "Ianto dear boy… did you just… kill it?"

"It killed three men on their way home from a party. Damn it, Tosh says one of them was a new father. What a hell of a thing. These bastards do not care, don't kill out of hunger or fear… just pure nastiness." Ianto pointed "not all of them are like this. Most stay away from humans and do their own thing but every now and then one get the idea to have a go. Usually they are chased back underground and things are cool… but once you get one killing people, they don't stop."

"You could have simply killed it with a curse… all of them" Dumbledore pointed out.

"Yes, but this is not OUR business is it. This is a Muggle thing. As long as I am in the Muggle world, I shall act like one. Respect their ways and act accordingly. However, between you and me… I do occasionally magic one or two away to Azkaban… for shits and giggles."

Dumbledore found himself laughing as he knew these crazed things would have the Dementors completely flummoxed, clearly not having the capacity to be addled by the looming specters, they would rampage like crack heads looking for a fix in a vet's clinic.

"Dirty pool boy" he finally choked out.

"Yes… but I prefer to think of it as… cleaning up."

Then they got in the SUV and raced home, the fire low but still going, the outside madness still ensuing and the little one still asleep in her bed.

Jack had returned at some stage and was now out there… in the madness zone… and had clearly not even noticed Ianto gone. For some reason Ianto liked this, knowing it meant he was having fun with his friends and even if Andy was currently dancing in the rain in nothing but his underwear, accompanied by two boys, a dog and Corns…. And a tiny house elf that for some reason had decided to go commando… as his mother noticed and started running out the door with a look that told everyone Mumble might find his pants sewn on if he was not careful.

"Ahhh" Dumbledore said as he slumped into the chair again "cucumber. These sandwiches are lovely."

Bracken puffed with delight, one hand patting the sleeping tot in the basket.

Yep.

Just another day in the Harkness-Jones house indeed.