Okay, as usual, original plan has gone out the window. I was going to post this once I finished the next chapter, but then...an utterly miraculous thing happened! I WAS GETTING REVIEWS AGAIN! :D :D :D THANK YOU Bubbl3zdaSeaOtter37 for all the lovely comments on the story! That literally has not happened since...(checks) May of last year. :D (Granted, my updating schedule has not been so hot, but thank you, thank you, thank you!)

(Apologies of this gets OOC. I'm pretty sure I wrote this as a rant after a bad day. Edit after looking back at all of this...yes. yes. this is very OOC (CRINGE).

Anyway! On the with story! :D

Edit: okay, people. Here's the deal. I had tried rewriting this chapter because I wasn't happy with it. I admit, it's not the best, but given the above, it makes sense that that's why I would write it the way I did. There are a few details I just added to hopefully make it a little more bearable. If I hadn't already planned on revising this story once I finish it, then I would have waited, but I want to renovate this over the summer. This isn't my best, but it is a steppingstone for finishing. :)
School is almost over for me so I will try to get finishing the rest of this story sometime by...I will try for the end of this month. :) That is my goal.
It's been fun, but it's time for GoA to finish out. Ladies and gents, please enjoy this chapter knowing it will be rewritten with the hopes of a greater story on the horizon.
- Sandi.

PS. (last thing, I promise. 'XD) I don't think so, but just in case, there is a slight trigger warning for some spiraling that Crosshair does.

Date: 1910

Region: Outer Rim, Ryndellia system

Location: Kaliida Shoals medical center

When the Commander stopped, it was in a quiet, currently unused hallway. By the stale, tainted dryness of the air, Crosshair guessed it was near the quarantine quarters. Then the other man faced him, expression hard as his eyes searched his for any signs of bashfulness or regret at the decision of disobeying an order.

Honestly, there were times the sniper wondered why the Commander even bothered. More than most, he should know that if Crosshair was going to do something, he was going to do it regardless of potential distaste from others since, after all, he'd been raised that way his whole life when around Regs. Cody should have known, and to be fair, he probably did. Still, that didn't mean he was going to be happy about it when it came to something he'd specifically set a boundary for.

Likewise, Crosshair knew this. Just how much trouble he'd just dived himself into, he still couldn't gauge, but he figured freedom from the others was better now rather than later when his temper was set on a tightly spaced, thin ledge. Pressing his lips together, he waited for the other to speak first.

Cody was glaring at him, mouth tight-set, jaw fixed, shoulder tense, and his knuckles turning white from where he gripped his arms.

Awww kriff, he thought.

"Crosshair," he began, trying to keep his voice level and not quite failing, "why are you out of the quarters?"

Just as he was about to answer, the sniper's mind went blank. With that, his expression faltered with it, showing the flits of doubt in his eyes as they darted away down to his left. His throat going tight, he forced a scowl on to his face as he muttered, "I didn't want to stay in there."

Cody exhaled slowly.

"Why not?"

If he hadn't been standing there, Crosshair would have flinched at his tone. He didn't want the Commander upset at him like everyone else, but he was in too deep now to back out. Guess now all he could do was see how deep he could dig his grave.

"I- "

"Crosshair, look at me when you're speaking."

His ears pulled back and his eyes closed as he took a breath before glaring back at the Commander.

Fine. I'll play the stupid part along.

But he didn't have it in him at the moment. He was too stressed after the last few arguments to do it again and already, he could tell this one was off to a fantastic start.

This isn't going to work. Get it over with and go back…No. I can't go back, not now. I can't go and I won't stay - BLAST IT, 04, make up your mind!

Crosshair did the only thing he could to bother trying to calm himself down. His mind went blank of the question so he refused to answer, instead simply glaring back at the man he'd come to apologize to. Yes. Fantastic…

When he didn't respond, Cody raised an eyebrow, clearly judging the meaning behind the silence. Was it that the kid was just being stubborn, he didn't want to answer, or did he not know how to answer, or had he asked the wrong question? It was always a game of assumptions and mood reading when trying to figure something out between them. Even on good days, Crosshair was a challenge to read correctly and right now, Cody was in no mood to bother playing along, instead letting body language explain everything about how he felt with the situation.

To him, it seemed to be a losing situation all the way around now. Cody was getting angered while he grew more defensive, and he couldn't talk when he was defensive - not with someone he trusted and not with too many uncertainties hanging in the air.

This tense game of leading the conversation on snapped when Crosshair growled, thinking, This isn't working! As he turned away, muttering, "Sorry I bothered trying," under his breath.

"Crosshair," Cody snapped, jerking him back by the arm, "bothered trying what? I gave you an order, and I expected you to follow it. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know," he shot back automatically, trying to break the other's grasp, but with little success.

Cody closed up again, his expression pinched while he attempted yet again to calm himself with closed eyes. How was he supposed to go about this? He didn't want to mess with the little game it took to get the sniper to talk, but he already knew that he wasn't going to open up now.

Great.

Taking a deep breath, he released the kid, keeping his head down as he asked, as gently as he could manage. "Cross…you don't do something unless you know why. That's how you keep the others in line. When you say you don't know, I typically have to translate that as 'I don't know how to say it.' "

His own breathing was beginning to cool, and Cody dared opening his eyes. Crosshair was standing a few feet away, arms curled over his chest tightly, and his stance at an angle like he was halfway between staying and running.

Inhaling, the Commander sighed.

"Look…'M sorry for being tense. You know what's going on, and why I'm like this right now, so…" he paused, wondering how to word this so it would click with the sniper. Nothing came to mind until he noticed that the kid was still forcing his eyes to meet his.

The second order Cody had given him blasted back in his face.

"- So… you don't have to look at me when-...for the rest of the conversation. If I couldn't follow it, then you shouldn't have to, either."

Taking another half step back, Crosshair nodded, his face dulling from anger too tired of keeping everything up, and his eyes dropping to the ground between them.

There was several moments of silence between them until Cody's wristcom chimed, and he glanced at the message on the tiny screen. Crosshair started at the sound and frowned, something that looked like disappointment crossing his features before it got buried by the neutral walls of not caring.

"I got you at a bad time," he said, pushing himself off the wall, his eyes still downcast as his voice got lower with each word. "I'll go back and wait for you to finish this later."

Peering down at the text, Cody shook his head, tucked his arm back into the folded position, and let out a breath. "Nope. It was better that you caught me now. Otherwise, I might have had a worse reaction."

Crosshair didn't meet his eyes at that, and he could practically see the words forming in the kid's head.

You wouldn't have had a bad reaction if I hadn't left.

Was that true? Yeah, sure it was. He was right, he shouldn't have left - especially when under orders not to. Then again, Crosshair wasn't one for four closed off walls with other people - especially when his emotions were already on the verge of breaking the bottle - and he should have taken that into account.

In a way, Crosshair's failure to comply was partly due to his own lack of foresight when dealing with the Batch during a time when they were all high-strung.

Allowing that to reassure him that it wasn't simply the sniper who had messed up, he let himself go. The stress, sleeplessness, anxiety, anger…all of it melted until he was simply Cody again. Just Cody leaning against the wall in a hallway with one of his troopers.

"Falcon, what's going on? What are you telling yourself? Or - " he corrected, "What were you telling yourself back there? Enough to make you need to leave?"

The kid thought about it for a minute, then replied quietly, letting his own guard down.

"I…had to get out," he murmured, leaning against the opposite wall, "I couldn't stay with the others…not when I was upset. I…I can't be around people if I'm trying to keep myself in check."

With a sigh, Cody leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "I should have thought of that before I gave that order…"

There was no exact reaction to his statement, but he could tell he'd gotten through to him by the way he'd chanced looking up at him. With Crosshair, he could be hard to figure out, but one way to get him to listen was for the other person he was dealing with to admit they had messed up too, no matter the degree. So long as he wasn't the only one getting blamed, he was willing to lay down his faults and wrongs without hesitation - or even any particular feeling towards them, for that matter. Just so long as it wasn't all on him, he could admit to being wrong. That was how he knew the other person was willing to listen.

That was how he was willing to listen now.

"Okay, so how did the argument start?"

"Tech," he replied simply, looking up as his words came faster. His cadence started slow, as usual. No more than a thin raspy drawl, but it picked up as the memories of the last few hours crashed in. His eyes started twitching, giving him a "trapped in his own head" look. His chest started rising and falling too quickly. His breathing had shallowed and sweat gathered on his forehead.

"Tech was spouting something about the odds of survival given the dynamic - I don't remember what it was, but it was something about how realistically the odds aren't in Hunter's favor, so I told him to shut up because the talk was starting to make my head hurt. Then, like he does, he kept going, explaining in great detail how he was simply being practical and that all the odds and outcomes needed to be examined should 'the worst occur.' I told him to stop, so he snapped back that he was trying to help. Then Wrecker got involved 'cause you know how he is with any of us fighting, but his voice was too loud so I told him to shut up. Tech said I was getting hysterical and- and...I don't remember - Cody," he hissed, "I'm scared. What if Hunter dies? What if he doesn't make it? What happens then? He can't leave, but Tech's right! He can't. Get out. Of this. Alive - he's got no chance!"

Cody frowned, taking a hesitant half step forward as if wondering whether the sniper would break out in a panic attack or not, but trying to stay calm about it. "Cross, I've spoken with the medics. There is a chance."

"Did they say that? Did they say that there's a chance he will make it? Or did they just say that there's a chance the operations might work? Which is it? There's a difference."

Biting his lip, the Commander knew he couldn't answer that the way the sniper wanted. He couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear.

Crosshair's eyes went wide, and his face blanched.

"Kark, how bad is it?" he asked, almost deadpan if it weren't for the fear in his voice. When Cody hesitated, Crosshair stepped closer. "Cody! How bad is it?!"

"They're not sure," he stated firmly, placing a hand on the other's wrist. "The test results are in the lab now. I'm still waiting for them to message me about what all that entails. But since they haven't seen something like this, it's just taking them a little time to - "

A flash of anger snapped back on to Crosshair's face. "He doesn't have time! Cody, you don't want to see what he'll turn into! Either he's going to be okay, or he's not! And if he's not - "

His voice cracked and he ducked his head momentarily before steeling a grip over his self-control again. "If he's not…I am personally going to stick a blaster bolt through his skull."

Jerking upright, Cody blinked. "No, you're not!"

"You don't know what he'll turn into! If something goes wrong and- " the grip on his emotions faltered, sending snippets rushing down without any restraint - "he turns into one of those things, it's best that it's over with quickly or else no one is getting a second chance! Cody, you have to believe me on this, you don't want to see what will happen - You don't - "

Frowning, Cody placed a hand on the sniper's shoulder, "Cross?"

"Maybe if it happened to one of the rest of us, it wouldn't be so bad, but, Cody, this is happening to- It can't- He's going to die! "

"Cross?" Cody grasped him by the shoulders as the sniper began to crumble, his shallow breath faltering. "Cross! Crosshair, listen to me!"

"No! We can't stop it- he'll turn into one of them and the only way to stop that is if I- "

The initial flood of tears broke then, followed by a silent scream as he shoved Cody away, his hands going to his head as if he could block the blows his own words were causing him. Broken sobs choked his throat as he whispered, "- If I kill him…I have to kill him!"

"Crosshair!"

Kark, now what? He wasn't going to listen, and he couldn't break out of it!

The sniper went down against the wall, shaking as the words tumbled out, the same ones circling through his mind over and over.

You don't want to see what he'll turn into. Maybe if it had been someone else it wouldn't be so bad, but it's Hunter. You don't want to know how bad it can get. He's going to die. He's going to kill us. Unless I stop it, he'll turn on us!"

Gripping him by the shoulders, Cody jerked him upright, glaring thoughtfully as Crosshair breathlessly repeated the words, "I have to kill him."

He couldn't get to him. Not with words. A flash of worried impatience flared up in his chest, making him act without thinking.

Without bothering to check his actions, Cody pulled him up and slapped him across the jaw, staggering him against the wall.

Stunned, the sniper stopped crying, staring wide eyed at nothing as the Commander grabbed him by the shoulders again and twisted him around, focusing all his attention on what would get through.

"Crosshair, Hunter is NOT going to die," he snapped, squeezing the other's shoulders with a grip of beskar, "He is doing fine. You don't need to kill him in order to keep the others safe! If this had happened to any of you, nothing would change from like it is now! It wouldn't have been better if it had been you, or Tech, or Wrecker! Okay? Hunter is not going to turn into one of those things from the mission. He's strong. He's going to make it. And so are you. So are you and Tech and Wrecker. You are going to survive this! Cross, you have made it this far, you're not going to give up now!"

Frozen, the kid stared back at him, gaping through the panicked, tear-blocked eyes.

Reaching up to clasp the back of his head, Cody pressed his forehead to Crosshair's, finishing with a low, "It's going to be okay, Falcon. It's going to be alright…"

There was a hitch in the other's breath…then everything just said crashed down on top of him and he broke down sobbing, burying his face in Cody's shoulder, trembling so he didn't trust himself to stand. The weight of the mission, Joan's sacrifice, the adrenaline ignored terror from the tight spaces in the dark and the rampant lab rats that had nearly killed them, Hunter's injury, his own disregard for his brothers and utter selfishness when they needed him most….it all contributed to the relentless pounding of misery that drove him to the brink.

The Commander knew Crosshair.

He knew this would pass once he was ready.

He knew the sniper would pick himself back up.

He just had to sink and let the stone drop first before he could swim.

Cody helped him to his knees, gently holding him as he hadn't been held even as a cadet. Rubbing circles in his back, the Commander wondered when the last time he had remembered just how young the whole Batch was. He'd known they were still hotshot kids who needed to be taken down a few pegs every now and then, but when he had last really thought about the fact that these lads – these mere boys – were child soldiers who had never known the meaning of family outside of their tight knit unit? Including never knowing what it was like to have other brothers since the Regs would bully them. Sure, every cadet had gotten picked on at least once, but the Batch had dealt with it constantly... They had the bravado they were known for because of all the times they'd been told they'd jinxed, and Crosshair had a bad habit of internalizing the hurt...
So if there was anything that the sniper desperately needed to hear right now, it was just a dab of encouragement.

Taking a quick breath to calm his tone, Cody added, "I'm proud of you."

There was a hitch in the kid's breath for just a moment…. then he whimpered, "No. No…."

"Cross," he whispered.

"It's - No.."

"It's what? Not true? You think I'm not?"

He didn't respond.

"Are you going to tell me?" Cody asked quietly but didn't push.

Crosshair shook his head. Inhaling to clear his head, Cody let it out slowly, blinking away the moment before reality could steal the time away.

Okay then. It was time for…

Well. For what? Crosshair to go back to the room? Cody to head back to the last place Hunter was supposed to have gone so he could check on him? When Cody had told the others of the Batch that he wanted them to stay in the room, it had been because of Tech's and Crosshair's automatic response to Hunter's abruptly unpleasant waking. But so far, since the cryopod, he hadn't seen anything of the sort. The medical staff were concerned about it, but Cody figured he'd have to play the optimist this time since no one else was really willing to.

He glanced down at Crosshair. The lad's tears were beginning to slow, and he was recovering quickly, already sniffling to keep back whatever else was left of the storm that had hit.

Good.

For some odd, explainable reason, the Commander felt as if the worst was over, if only for the moment. He wasn't sure how far that extended, but something was nearly over and the ending – if ending it was – would be calm.

Patting the chap on the back, Cody started shifting so Crosshair could "wake up."

The sniper rubbed his eyes dry, rolling back onto his feet so he sat in a crouch, his back against the wall. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Cody asked, "You good now?"

Crosshair nodded. "Yessir," he mumbled.

"Alright then," Cody stood and held out his hand to help Crosshair up, "I suppose we'd better check on Hunter, then, before he gets too lonely."

Pausing, Crosshair peered up at him, uncertainty flickering across his face. "Cody, I'm not sure…"

Cody shot him a tired, world-weary look.

Crosshair shut up.

He wasn't sure what it was about that look that made him move, but Crosshair trusted Cody, so when the Commander affirmed that, yes, indeed, he wished for him to accompany him to the sergeant's next appointment, he followed without further questions.

Date: 2010

Region: Outer Rim, Ryndellia system

Location: Kaliida Shoals medical center

Tech was sitting up, staring at Crosshair's empty bunk when Wrecker woke up. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Wrecker rolled up, concern trickling into his voice as he asked, "Where'd Crossha'r go?"

"I am uncertain, Wrecker," Tech responded tightly, eyes locked on the bunk, "But wherever he is is not currently part of our concern. I am positive he was aware of his actions as he committed them and that the Commander shall punish him accordingly upon the soonest convenience."

"Wh-...what makes you think Cody'll be able ta catch him?"

Tech sniffed, finally turning his head over to him, "Because. Crosshair would not have left unless he was going to find something – or, in this case, someone. Hunter is out of the question since Crosshair are still recovering mentally from our...last encounter. He would not visit the sergeant unless he was willing to go with someone, at least, at the present. That leaves Cody."

Blinking in that owlish way of his before returning his gaze to the other wall, the youngest Batcher sighed.

"Oh...so….what do we do while they're gone? I don't wanna stay here too long try'nta sleep. 'm pretty sure I already got as muchofit in as 'm gonna get today."

"Agreed. However, Cody's orders still stand."

"Ih'll yeah, but he was talk'n ta Cross'h when he said that. Maybe he didn't mean it to us?"

"That is improbable."

Huffing, Wrecker tried crisscrossing his legs on, but being stiff from the...day? - Previous day? He shot a glance at the chrono, but it refused to yield anything but the time – only managed to bend them a little so they didn't hang so far off the edge and cut off circulation.

"Still, Cross was be'in' a hothead about it so maybe he just said it to get through to him? Ya'know how he is."

"As I said, he is likely already been found out by the Commander. There is no need to press Cody's patience by having us all disobey. "

"Com'on, Tech," Wrecker slipped off the mattress and put a hand on his brother's shoulder as he paused next to him. "Let's go find them. If they're taking care of Hunt'r, we'll go to the mess and see if they show up there. You can let Cody know with a commessage. There's no point in us staying if we aren't going to sleep much."

"Wrecker!" Tech snapped, turning on him as the frustration from Crosshair's sudden disappearance after his rant at them suddenly vented, "We are not leaving! Cody ordered us we to stay here and let him handle Hunter while we recover! I forbid you to walk across that threshold and break whatever minimal trust the Commander has in our abilities at the moment. Crosshair has already made up his mind and left. He is not our responsibility now because of that!"

"Even if Cody is making him stick his nose in the wall, he shouldn't do it alone."

"That is not the point of this discussion! The point is that you are blatantly ignoring Cody's - "

"Tech," Wrecker interrupted quietly, "If I leave now, do you think I won't come back?"

The younger clone snapped his jaw shut. Was that what he thought? Was he scared that if he was left alone…

Seeing the wheels turning, Wrecker turned away.

"No discussing this one, Tech," he said gently, already halfway through the door, "Normally, I'd agree with ya' on this, but – but this isn't a good time for us ta be all split up like this. If something happens, we all need to be together when it hits or else this team will go ka-boom."

Shuffling his feet on the floor as his gaze drifted over the ground, Tech finally nodded and stood.

"Very well. We...we will do it your way."

Nodding, Wrecker opened an arm to him and after a moment's hesitation, the technician accepted, curling himself next to the giant's side as they walked out.
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