Author's Note:
Yes, readers, I am back! Well, for right now anyway. I decided that in the spirit of this lovely season I would give you an update. I had what some may say a Christmas Miracle occur because my creative mind began to churn once more- yes, like churning butter (I dunno, I just wanted to use that word I guess). Anyway, merry christmas to all. Also- Happy New Years since that is upon us as well. This is my present (hopefully a good one?) to all of you wonderful people. Read and be merry :)
You Again?
Chapter 23
I'd never given much thought to the male population. Really, I didn't. They were just always kind of there. That other breed of creature that was both familiar and foreign.
Familiar in the literal "familial" sense. Sammy- that is pretty much the extent of my male exposure. I know I kind of make it sound like some disease or radioactive material but that's the only way to really explain this.
Guys were there. Mostly, they were lurking in the background like extras in a movie set. I never really paid attention to them although from time to time I'd get caught up in staring at an absurdly gorgeous one.
So I think you get what I mean. Guys are just not my forte. I don't think about them much and they certainly don't think about me. If the male population is the extras on a movie set, then I'm that one extremely random girl that walks by behind the extras. Yeah, no one ever notices that girl do they? Well, that is me in the eyes of men.
Anyway, all this just goes to show how out of character I've been these past few days. My thoughts, usually centered around family, friends, and work is now almost constantly centered around a certain member of that ever-illusive species.
Tall, not-dark, though absurdly handsome, there he is. He outshines all other thoughts, all other anything. And I know, this is completely absurd.
Absurd because a guy should not- and is not!- the center of my world.
Absurd because he isn't that great, it is merely probably my overactive imagination that continues to make the scenes from earlier in the week that much greater.
Absurd because all that keeps popping into my head every time I let my thoughts wander is an incredibly gentle though firm, and oh-so-tantalizing…
No! No! NO!
Absurd because I haven't heard from the stupid jerk in the past three days.
Okay I might be exaggerating the situation a little. He's away as it is.
Apparently he's been going with Andrew to celebrate the holidays since they were middle school boys. It sounds kind of cute really but he didn't go into much detail when he'd briefly mentioned it when he drove me home from the office party.
Anyway, so yeah. He said he'd be gone and I'd said "oh, sure" and now I've spent three days obsessing over the stupid jerk.
I mean, I understand that he's traveling- oh yeah, most of Andrew's family lives in London. They're supposedly some bigwigs or something since they've been able to vouch both Darien's and Andrew's flights to England since they were 12.
Anyway- as I was saying. I know that he's traveling but traveling doesn't mean he's without devices of communication or something. He can't pick up the phone for five seconds and make a simple phone call?
Okay. I know, this is bad. Really, really bad. I'm already possessive of him. This is ridiculous! No more! I promise, there will be no more of this! I will be a normal person. We haven't even been on one date yet. I will get my mind away from thoughts of Darien. It isn't like I'm not busy myself.
I spent the day after the party in a frenzy trying to get the last minute presents- aka all presents. I'm not big on shopping so I always hold off until the last minute even though I know it is the worst possible thing to do. But, I managed to find something good or at the very least decent for everyone.
The girls and I always get together the day before Christmas Eve- aka day 3 after the party- and have our own early Christmas together since everyone goes off to there own little thing during the holidays.
Lita and Kevin split the holiday season amongst their families. They switch off between whose family they go to for Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year they get to spend Christmas with the Gorbie's aka Kevin's family so she just headed off a little ways away- still in New York.
Amy and Zach- the newly betrothed couple- will be at the hospital this lovely holiday season. They're both apparently on call since as Amy said "this is the worst time of the year." Yes, she can be very Grinch-like at times.
Mina will be going over to her dad's this year. She switches between her divorced parents' houses every year. In case you are wondering, her mom is our relation- aka my aunt. Oh, and also- Sammy and I only spent one Christmas with her family. It was the year after mom died. It was nice of them to invite us but it was uncomfortable and I never felt really at home there. Mina, yes, she's family but her family is not mine. I don't know if I can really explain it but sometimes it just doesn't feel right and this was one of those situations. We are only related to Auntie Sue and Grandma Lynn- Grandma Lynn never actually spends time with anyone anyway, she holes herself up in her room. So everyone there was not ours- mine or Sammy's. They were… well, just not our family. I know it sounds horrible but the next year when I told Auntie Sue that I couldn't come- well, let's just say she didn't seem all that heartbroken.
Ray usually goes to her granddad's, her only living relation, for the season but this year she's bringing him with her to the Johnson's aka Chad's family.
Sammy and I have been offered many a homes during the holidays but we figured out long ago that it is just best to be together. Just us. Friends are great during this time of year but the family of friends isn't always best especially since you end up feeling too much like an outsider and that isn't exactly the best feeling in the world.
But during our girls only faux-Christmas, there are no outsider feelings what-so-ever. We are family and it is something I've always looked forward to.
Usually, by the end of the night Ray falls over drunk and spends the night at whoever's hosting the party but this year, being the expectant mother that she is, she was much more irritable it seems.
"What are you, five?" Every other thing she said seemed to be something along these lines.
"No, we're fun." Mina would respond with the ever-mature stuck out tongue. "Fun" probably meaning that we were slightly intoxicated while Ray was completely and miserably alone in her sobriety.
I laughed at their little exchanges, I'm not denying that. If you could think of any two polar opposites it would be Ray and Mina.
Mina is like the happy-go-lucky cheerleader type. She wasn't a cheerleader in high school, she was a dancer she always defends herself by pointing this out. She claims dancing is a more talent-based "sport" than cheerleading. Also- she's the one that calls it a sport. I don't know what I call it really but this doesn't seem to fit my criteria of "sport" since when I think of that word I think something along the lines of aggression and blood and guts and violence. Yeah… did you guess? I was never one for sports. Being a klutz doesn't exactly make me apt for many physical activities.
Ray on the other hand is aggressive- a very sports-type personality though she never actually played any sports. Well, she did take some sort of karate class or something along those lines. Maybe judo. Is it judo? Well, I don't know. She has some belt in something, I'm sure of that.
But anyway, the two are polar opposites, which according to scientific laws should make them attract but the way those two argue it seems to me that science is wrong. Opposites can repel too. Well, I was never good at understanding my science classes anyway. The most I really ever needed to know is that gravity keeps you grounded. That's good enough for me.
So, yeah. A lot of the party was Mina and Ray arguing. More like Ray yelling and Mina doing something more stupid than her previous act just to piss off Ray.
At one point Mina turned up the volume of the stereo and sang extremely off key to Barbie Girl while doing a made-up dance.
"You can't make fun of that song Mins." Ray said with a sarcastic smile. "This song is about you."
"Hey!" Mina crossed her arms, offended.
"Don't be so mean spirited Ray, it's Christmas." Amy interrupted before walking off quickly to check on the cookies that we'd left in the oven, Lita was quick to follow. Both were smart enough to get out of the line of fire. I'm apparently not so bright.
Luckily, the shots weren't fired at all.
"Thanks mom, but it isn't Christmas quite yet." Ray argued, but her face fell a little- not as arrogant and stubborn as before. "Sorry Min," She said turning to a still cheerful and no longer affronted Mina, "I'm just stressed."
"S'Okay," Mina quickly shrugged it off and continued her little jig. I joined along with my own extremely off-tune rendition.
That was really the climax of the evening, other than seeing a little more of the uninhibited- maybe more than slightly intoxicated?- Mina, nothing dramatic happened.
We all attempted to sing Christmas carols though none but Amy succeeded in staying on tune. We all took turns at the piano- all but Lita who'd never learned and didn't feel the need to.
It was nice and by the end of the night I quickly realized that I hadn't thought of Darien for the day! Yes, I congratulated myself until the realization hit that I'd just thought of the idiot! I'd thought about him by trying not to think about him- which trust me I had been trying.
Damn it! I couldn't help but curse the fates for their cruelty.
When I got home I stomped my foot at my own idiocy. Yes, I am just that mature. It is true. I am such an idiot. Darien isn't the one obsessing over a guy who isn't even his boyfriend. That thought kind of made me laugh as I remembered the misunderstanding about his sexuality from what seems like light-years ago. Man, had I been wrong…
"What's so funny?" I heard the voice before the face joined it.
Sammy turned the light on- which seems too bright to my eyes at that moment.
"Nothing," I said with an innocent smile.
He smiled back through extremely sleep-deprived eyes.
"Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?" I asked quickly forgetting my previous humor.
He yawned while shaking his head, "No, I was waiting up for you." He straightened his back a little in pride.
I couldn't help but smile at him. My little brother can definitely be adorable. He was waiting up for me but slept in the process.
A laugh escaped, I'm not even sure why.
"Are you drunk?" Sammy asked with a mix of incredulity and humor.
"No," I shook my head. I wasn't. I think maybe "slap happy" fits this mood more. "Go back to bed Sam." I said as I passed him on the way to the room, stopping to kiss his forehead.
"Night Rena," He replied and closed the door to his room.
My last words before I collapsed on my bed, however, I'm pretty sure were, "Night Darien."
Christmas Eve was everything it should be- warm and fun.
Sammy and I both slept in after staying up so late. Sammy was actually the one to wake me up, which is an unprecedented thing. He'd even made breakfast; I couldn't help but hug him in my excitement.
"God, Serena, if I knew you'd get so mushy about this I wouldn't have done it," He said but he was smiling and I knew he was kind of happy about it- especially since he returned the hug and didn't push me away.
We spent the afternoon putting up decoration and then went to a showing at the Dollar Theater, which is actually now two dollars. It was another uplifting Christmas movie though not nearly as heart warming as the older ones- which we watched when we got home. Well, we actually only watched part of It's A Wonderful Life but Sammy complained and wined so much about "overkill" that I gave up and we switched to a blood and gore feature of his choosing and I preceded to duck underneath my blanket and pillow. Sammy laughed at that.
And just as the steroid-buff looking guy entered the room where his latest victim- a tearful girl about my own age- was hiding and just as he whispered "Hello" triumphantly at capturing his prey, the phone rang.
I screamed.
Sammy didn't seem fazed by any of it. He merely pressed the pause on the television and picked up the receiver.
"Hello," He said it not so unlike the steroid-buff guy- kind of hostile though much less creepy.
I regret to say that I burrowed further into my covers at the edge of the couch.
Then I heard Sammy say, "Oh, hey man!" with all the cheer of an Elf. I popped my head out of the covers. Good, just one of Sammy's friends. Then I was stupid enough to look towards the television screen and the squeak that came out couldn't be helped. I burrowed back into my safe hole.
Sammy laughed, "Oh, that's just Rena." Then, 'Yeah, I'm surprised I'm not deaf after living with her for so long."
I popped my head out again to glare at him.
He laughed again- though not at my antics, whomever he was talking to must be some kind of comedian for all the laughing he was doing. He kept on talking- leaving me in my frightened though now slightly irritated state.
"Who are you talking to?" I whispered, trying not to be rude.
He lipped something but I was pretty sure I read it wrong so I just nodded as though I knew whom he was talking to.
"Yeah, man, here you go." He held out the receiver. I looked at it curiously.
"Grandma?" I questioned, extremely confused.
He rolled his eyes, "Yes, I call Gran 'man'."
I continued to merely look at him.
"I already told you, it's Darien."
My eyes widened. That is in fact the name I thought I'd seen him lip but I just thought that was a result of thinking about him too much- so much so that I thought my brother was on the phone with my maybe-boyfriend.
I slowly extended my arm to take the phone.
Before he handed it to me though, Sammy quickly asked, "Can I finish it? I don't think you're going to like what happens next."
I just nodded, not really thinking.
Sammy- being the ever-considerate one pressed the play immediately before I got a chance to get away.
The girl on the television screamed louder than bloody murder and I screamed right along with her and ran with the phone, quickly slamming the door shut and kind of forgetting about the phone currently connecting me to my 3-day long obsession.
"Serena?" I heard the name spoken from so far away.
Then I remembered. Crap, the phone.
"Hello?" I said it kind of breathless and kind of fearful. Yeah, it wasn't exactly the first impression I wanted to give after our short separation.
"Wow, what a cheerful greeting. You'd think I'm a killer coming for you or something."
"Don't joke about killers." I quickly said.
He laughed a little, "Sorry, I'll remember this for future consideration."
"Remember what?" I replied, gaining back my coherency.
"Never surprise you with a scary movie night."
I smiled a little despite the resonating fear. "Yeah, no presents with fake snakes in them either." Then thinking of something, "Or real ones for that matter."
I heard that deep laugh I hadn't even known I'd been missing for the past three days. Well, I guess I kind of knew.
Then my fear was gone and I was talking on the phone with Darien- laughing like always. Though now my stomach did more flips that sometimes made it hard for me to come up with my usually witty remarks that are so characteristic of our banter.
"So, what made you remember me now?" I asked after a small though comfortable silence fell on us.
I could almost feel his smile- despite the thousands of miles separating us.
"What, you think I've forgotten you or something?"
I shrugged though I knew he couldn't see and hoped I didn't sound silly. We haven't gone on one date yet and I'm already a nag? "No, course not. You've been busy."
"You think I've just been busy? Mrs. Mason is the dictator of Christmas. She bans the phone while we're here. Says it's too distracting for all of us and that we should be happy to just be with each other for a while."
That made me feel a little better.
"I wanted to call but she said 'unless she has a ring on her finger, she doesn't get to be the exception'."
I laughed for a lack of better response.
"How are you calling then?"
"I convinced her. You know me, I'm very hard to resist." The humor was clearly there in his voice.
I didn't believe a word of it.
"How are you calling?"
He laughed, "By finding one of the phones she'd hijacked in her closet while she was out at lunch this morning then hiding it in my room and plugging it in after she took her sleeping pills."
The smile, of course, couldn't be helped. That is probably the singular most effort any guy had ever put forth to talk to me. I found myself telling him that without meaning to. The thoughts seem to be leaking out.
"You must've known some lazy guys." He'd replied easily, not uncomfortable with what I'd just revealed apparently. There was another small pause- again not uncomfortable. Then—"It's midnight. Merry Christmas Sere."
"You too Darien." Then I thought—"Wait, it isn't midnight over there." I looked at my clock- it was midnight here…
"No, it isn't. It's 5."
"You're up at 5 in the morning?" I asked, "Calling me?"
"Well, it's midnight there."
"Yes, here," I replied dumbly.
"Uh huh," He replied in confusion.
"Not over there." I reiterated.
"I think we established that already," He said with a confused laugh.
"You called to wish me a merry Christmas when it officially turned to Christmas?"
"I thought that part was pretty clear too." He replied again with a smile in his voice.
My stomach did another of its flops. He'd specifically woken up- or stayed up or whatever- at 5 to wish me a merry Christmas.
I didn't exactly know what to say to that. I mean, what could I say? Thank you? That didn't seem like the right thing so I stayed quiet hoping he'd come up with something.
And he did. He started talking about what he'd been up to the last few days and I listened- adding my own input of course.
The Masons seemed to be an extremely entertaining bunch if Darien wasn't making all the stories up. And he told it so well, I almost felt like I was there.
At some point in the conversation I heard the door creak open and Sammy's head popped in. I told Darien to hold on and looked up at the intruder.
"I'm gonna go to bed now." He informed me. Well, that was nice of him.
"Cool Sammy." I said confused why he felt the need to tell me this. When he continued to stand there staring at me I added, "Goodnight Sam."
He didn't seem to get the message.
"Goodnight Serena." He said this but continued to stand there.
"Can I help you with something?" I finally asked in frustration at his behavior.
"When are you going to bed?" He asked this like it was a normal thing to want to know- like a right.
"Soon." I said, "What's it matter?"
He just kept his blank stare, "Merry Christmas, Rena."
I found myself rushing to the door before he left. Hugging him and kissing his forehead again I wished him a merry Christmas. He smiled and was off to his room.
When I got back I told Darien it was late and I should probably go. This time when I said "Night Darien" he heard it and returned the sentiment.