Chpt 14

Callie's POV

I was not a fan of flying. I hated not being in control. I never slept the night before I traveled and tonight, was no different. Arizona, on the other hand, had no trouble sleeping. Which was evident by her lying next to me, face down in the pillow, asleep. I didn't want her to know I was nervous. And it wasn't just about the flying either. The other night when her Dad rudely interrupted one of my hottest sexual experiences, the red flags started going up again. True enough, Arizona was coming to terms with her sexuality. I can handle that. She was getting more and more comfortable in public with me, she had even called me her girlfriend yesterday when she was on the phone with Dax. But coming out to your parents was a different thing all together. I didn't expect her to tell them right away. But how was I supposed to go to New York, meet her family, and just pretend to be her friend. She picked up on my out of character behaviour earlier that evening.

"Dax said he will be at the airport shortly after our flight gets in" Arizona said from the couch as I walked around the kitchen for the 10th time that night. "He said its been cold there the last few days so I told him to go over to the condo and turn on the heat for us"

My stomach was doing its regular gymnast routine, and I decided I needed a drink to calm me down.

"What is going on with you tonight?" she looked at me as I crack open a beer and sat at the island.

"Nothing" I took a mouthful of liquid courage "Just excited, that's all"

"Excited?" she sat up on her knees and gave me a look to let me know she knew I was lying. "First of all, you didn't eat supper, you never drink beer at home, and you still have your scrubs on Calliope"

I looked down and realised I had not changed before I left the hospital. Ok Callie, you are losing it. Now try and cover. And make sure its believable.

"I guess I was just in a hurry to get home and I ate before I left the hospital and I'm really thirsty and I can't find the wine opener..." Nice try Cal. A good ramble is always the way to avoid suspicious minds.

"What's wrong" Arizona got off the couch and came over to take a seat next to me at the island. "Are you having second thoughts about going tomorrow?" A worried expression came across her face. I had to tell her.

"No. Not second thoughts" I reassured her as a smile came across her face. "I want to go with you. Its just everything else that this trip is gonna bring."

She started to speak but I needed to say this now before I lost my nerve.

"I know that you really care about me Arizona, and I really care about you" I say as the concerned look reappears "But meeting your parents is gonna be hard. I know your not ready to tell them about us and that's fine, but having to meet them and not tell them how much I care about you and want to be with you is tough for me to swallow"

After Arizona talked to her dad the other night, we both decided she should wait to tell them about us. Atleast until she is settled in Seattle and completely sure that this is what she wants. They were already having a hard time about her moving out here, and throwing a new relationship into the mix, woman or not, she was sure would freak them out.

"Calliope" I still cant believe I let her call me by my first name so easily. I just love the way it sounds coming from her. "I want you to meet my parents so when I do tell them they will know how much of a caring, thoughtful, and beautiful person you are on the inside and out"

I had been down this road before. Sam's parents showed up at the hospital, unexpected, before they found out we were together. Finding out your daughter is gay because you walked in on her being straddled by another woman is probably not the best scenario. But, in the end, they came around. I was hopeful that Arizona's coming out story would end the same way. Minus the straddling.

I took comfort in the her words, "I want you to meet my parents", as I finally found myself succumbing to exhaustion and anxiety, I pulled her close to me and drifted off.

Arizona's POV

I tried hard to pretend I was asleep. I knew she was still awake. Her breathing was off, she was moving every 5 minutes, and Calliope usually died when she went to sleep. I knew she was nervous. I was nervous. How do you bring your girlfriend home to meet your parents and not even introduce her as your girlfriend? How do I even begin to tell my parents that I have a girlfriend? When making my decision to move to Seattle, I did factor in my family. I am very close with my parents and my brothers, and in the end, I knew they would support me in my decision. They always supported my decisions when it came to my career. Now when it came to my personal life, not so much. I don't think my family ever like any of my boyfriends. Dad especially. And they weren't thrilled by my engagement to Liam, but they dealt with it. Because they loved me. I was banking on that very emotion right now. They loved me. So they were gonna be okay with this, right?

"I guess you'll be selling your place here that Ari" My dads tone had interchanged with saddness and excitement 100 times I'm sure throughtout the whole phone call. "I guess the market is right so you should do it now before..."

"Daddy" I cut him off. "I'm really excited about this. This position is a chance of a lifetime and I can't turn it down" I reminded him again. "But, I do want to hang on to my condo out there"

I hadn't told Calliope yet that I wasn't selling my condo. In fact, I had I told her I WAS selling it. I didnt want her to question my reasoning. If she did I would have to tell her the truth. I was scared. Really scared. I knew what we had was real. I wanted to be with her and I wanted everyone to know how I felt about her. But I didn't want him to know. I didn't want my father to know that I was falling in love with a woman. I didn't want him to be disappointed. That's what I was struggling with the most. Disappointment. But it was in myself. Here I was, starting a position that I would kill for, and a relationship with the most amazing person I have ever met, and I still couldn't get past the fear. So I couldn't sell my condo. What if I couldn't get past it. I was afraid to be with her. I was afraid to come to terms with my feelings. The last three weeks, I managed to block it all out and experience everything about those feelings. Despite how much I knew she was it for me, I didn't know if I could ever fully except us, except me. I felt her shift again next to me, as she pulled me in close. I thought if anyone would help me deal with these feeling it would me my brother Aaron.

"So that girl your bringing out here with you Ari, you know she's a lesbian right?" Aarons words cut like a knife. What did that matter? And how did he know that? He must of friggen' googled her.

"Yes Aaron" I tried not to get angry "I know what her sexual preference is. Why does that matter?"

"I hope she hasn't tired to hit on you or anything Ari" he continued as my heart broke "You know Dad needs to walk someone down the isle"

Now I was really angry. Was he dense? Did he not live in the same year as I did? I could still get married. I might have to pick a state, or go to Canada, but I could still get married. And if Calliope wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, I'm sure Dad could still walk me down the isle. It was the fear that formed my response.

"Stop is Aaron. I'm straight. I love men. I would never be able to be with a woman"

The tears were burning my eyes right now, as I tried to forget saying it. As I lay there in her arms, not wanting to be anywhere else in the world, ever, the fear consumed me. I kept my face buried in the pillow for fear she would wake and see me crying. Getting through the next four days was crucial. I needed to focus on getting in, getting my affairs in order, and getting out. I had never been so scared as I felt in that moment, and as the buzzer went off on the alarm, I felt like it was the last time I would ever be in Calliope's bed. I hit the snooze button and pulled her arm tighter around me. I shut my eyes tighter, thinking it would shut out my fear, but it just made it stare me down harder.

I knew then I was going to break.