Chapter 5

Shiro headed to his quarters on Alanna's ship. He sensed something strange and yet familiar in the Force. He opened the door and saw Raisen in the room, sitting on his bed.

Raisen looked at him and said, "Shiro."

He was surprised to see this intruder, but even more surprised because he knew this intruder all too well. He knew her as a figure of the past, a figure he thought had been lost forever. The shock of seeing her again sent him into yet another of his mad fits.

Shiro shouted at her, "Out! This is my place! You need permission to be here! You need a special slip with a stamp!"

Raisen rose. "Shiro, you don't remember me?"

Shiro turned away from her and paced back and forth, seeming to ignore her. "You go on. You try to wall off your feelings. You think you're finished but you're not. Worse than ever, you are."

Raisen got off the bed and stood in shock, watching Shiro. She knew his brain was scrambled but she was shocked at how different Shiro seemed already. He was obviously older, wiser, and more powerful but he was also more afraid because of his experiences. And she realized that that made him more dangerous. He might harm even those who were once his friends.

Shiro spun around. "You went away."

Raisen realized he was now talking to her. She responded, "I got separated from you. Don't worry. Trust me."

Shiro suddenly looked at her. "Kyra?"

Raisen smiled. He had spoken her true name. The name she had not heard for a long time but she had never forgotten. She cracked a smile. "There's the Shiro I know."

Raisen resolved that no matter what, she would try to recapture that former life of hers. The life before all the bowing and scraping and killing in cold blood. She swore that, from now on, she would be Kyra and not Raisen.

She looked Shiro over. She had waited so long to see him again. She ran up and hugged him. "Force times are bad for us, huh?"

Shiro was uncertain though. He realized that Kyra may have been there for hidden purposes. After all, he knew what she had become. A tool for the Empire.

"How did you get in here?" Shiro asked.

"The Empire has taught me how to break security codes and infiltrate ships such as this when nobody is looking and how to remain undetected."

Shiro backed away from her at the mention of the Empire. "Then you must be… Oh no! You've come to take me back to them. Get away from me! I did not think they'd send you!"

Kyra went toward Shiro, who turned from her, breathing heavily. "Shiro, listen. Something's happened. I can't explain what but my chip isn't working. It must have shorted out when you cancelled Alexia's chip. Shiro, I've decided to defect. I don't want to be part of the Empire. I hate everything about them." She took his hand in hers. "I won't betray you, Shiro. I won't desert you."

"Lies and riddles. Answers and questions. Wormwood," Shiro muttered. He couldn't look at her but he felt her words held some weight.

"Shiro, I listened in on your conversation. Do you really mean to destroy the programming and save the rest of the younglings? Can you? I know you can. Please, Shiro, we need your help."

"You need... you need... they need to feed. Bodies everywhere!" Shiro held his head. "Two by two!"

"Shiro, I know you're tired. I'm tired too. I'm tired of having no choice. I'm tired of serving creeps like Tremayne and Isard. I'm tired of the voices in my head."

But Shiro wasn't listening. "They're dead, all of them! No end to attack! They'll come back! Augh! Not the time! Dead! Dead! They're all dead!" Shiro's eyes went wide. He pulled out his lightsaber. "I'll cut it out! I'll cut it out!

Kyra backed up "Shiro, no! Please!"

Shiro screamed, "Don't you know what they did to me?" He fell to the floor shivering and weeping.

Kyra went up to him and rubbed his back. "You poor thing. There, there, Shiro. It's alright. They haven't got you yet. You're still free. You're still fighting them. You're safe. Oh, Shiro, how could they do this to us?"

Shiro whimpered. "You mean him! Feathers flap. Feathers flap. Not safe. Never safe from him."

"Sidious!" Kyra hissed.

Shiro nodded. "Mm hm. The Crow."

"This is why I will fight with you."

Shiro shivered. "They'll come back. They'll come back." He turned to her. "They got you?"

Kyra nodded. "I can learn to fight though."

"You want out?"

"I want out. No more."

"But they're after us. They'll come back. They won't stop. We'll have to fight them."

"I know. And we will, side by side."

Shiro calmed. He looked up, encouraged. "And I know how to fight them."

Shiro paused. He looked at Kyra. He remembered how they had once been good friends. Since his separation from her and the other Jedi, his feelings had deepened.

Shiro hugged Kyra. "Don't be afraid. I won't let them get you. They won't get any of us. I'll make them pay. I'll find the power."

Kyra smiled. She knew things would work out now that she and Shiro were together. She trusted in Shiro. "Shiro, tell me, who do you know of the masters that survived?"

"Hm? Survived? Blade of red, all are dead."

"That can't be. The Jedi wouldn't go down so easily."

"Some survived. Some alive." Shiro smiled. "I thought I was alone until I escaped. I've found friends though. Mulann Fennix."

"Oh, Force! The Tusken Jedi?"

"Yeah. She trained me. Helped me fight off Crow. But can't fight it off for long. Have to act. Have to kill. Destroy. Then free." Shiro paused a moment to consider. "Marik... Once I find him, he'll give me the power I need….Kyra, I can help you. But you must help me. We have to be strong together. Marik will help us. We're going to Wayland."

"And I'll be there every step."

Shiro chuckled. "Great! Woo! I'm so glad that you're safe. I missed you. I missed everybody."

"Yeah."

Shiro looked at Kyra deeply. He began to recite one of the poems that Kyra and he had learned long ago. "That the winds may blow the earth into the sea, or swell the curled water above the main, that things might change or cease."

Kyra giggled. "I was always partial to 'time rolls on, years go by. But friends we shall remain, you and I.'"

Shiro giggled back. He sang a little ditty he had learned. "He that has and a little tiny wit with hey, ho, the wind and the rain, must make content with his fortunes fit, for the rain it rains every day."

Kyra laughed. "You're sense of humor hasn't changed." She rubbed her eyes a bit. For some reason, she was feeling very tired. "Hey, you got any of those riddles?"

Shiro nodded. "If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?"

Kyra blinked several times. "What?"

Shiro smiled. "It's a secret."

"Shiro, I'm getting tired. Tell me the answer."

"The answer is a secret."

"No really, tell me, Shiro!"

Shiro folded his arms. "I know you're playing."

They both laughed softly. Shiro looked deeply at Kyra. He suddenly felt a deep sense of attachment to her. Gently, he bent toward her. Then Kyra yawned in Shiro's face. Shiro frowned as Kyra fell back on the pillow of the bed.

"Good night," she said. She closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.

Shiro gazed at her and then pulled the covers over her. He patted her back. "Bless thee from whirlwinds, star-blasting and taking," he said.

Shiro got off the bed and, taking a glance back at Kyra, quietly left the room. Kyra had her first untroubled sleep that night.

Alanna was in the kitchen, getting a midnight snack. She looked about in the refrigerator. The Air cake she had been saving was gone. As was her alcoholic blue milk. Strange, she thought, I don't seem to remember having those yet. She settled for a Barabel fruit.She munched on it as she walked back toward her quarters.

As she walked past the game room, a voice suddenly spoke, "Kyra ate the cake. Sorry."

Alanna jumped, screamed and dropped her fruit. Shiro was lounging on the couch with the bottle of alcoholic blue milk in his hand.

Alanna was flabbergasted. "What are you doing in here?"

Shiro looked over at her, groggily. He was obviously drunk. He spoke in a slurred voice. "I could ask you the same question."

Alanna started, "I…," then folded her arms and sighed. "I was getting a snack."

"So was I."

She pointed to the bottle in his hand. "I was saving that for a rainy day."

"It's a big galaxy. I'm sure it's raining somewhere. Probably on Kamino."

"You do know that has liquor in it?"

Shiro's eyes got big. "Really? I've never heard of alcoholic blue milk. That would explain my dizziness." He smiled and hiccupped.

She rolled her eyes. "Great! An insane drunk Jedi on my ship!"

"Hey, I'm not driving!"

"Aren't you a little young for that?"

"Seventeen is the legal drinking age on Nal Hutta. I'm nearly seventeen."

"Yeah, well I'm probably out of hangover pills so you'd better be careful."

"You're a pill!"

Alanna sighed again and sat down on a chair next to him. "So, how's Alexia?"

"I checked on her. She says she's surprised at all that's happened. But she wants to thank me for waking her up. It's like a nightmare, you know? One you can't wake up from."

"All considered, I think I'm glad that I don't know what that's like."

Shiro took another swig. "Hey this stuff is great! I'm not freaking out or anything. Maybe this can help calm me from now on."

"Yeah well, from now on, maybe you should try the regular kind instead."

"By the way, Alanna, we've got a stow-away."

"What?"

"Sleepest or wakest thou, jolly shepherd? Thy sheep be in the corn; And for one blast of thy minikin mouth, Thy sheep shall take no harm. Pur! The cat is gray." Shiro burped.

"I don't believe this!" Alanna exclaimed. She went to the intercom and shouted so everyone could hear, "Who the hell is on my ship?"

"Shh! I put her to sleep!"

Alanna turned around. "Excuse me?"

"She's sleeping in my room. She won't cause any trouble. She's a friend."

"So you know this person?"

"Mm hm. She's an old friend. Her name's Kyra. She was in the Temple with me. She's like Alexia. She was one of the Younglings." Shiro's attention wandered. He got a dreamy look in his eyes and smiled. "She looks so peaceful sleeping."

"Hey!" Alanna shouted and snapped her fingers in front of Shiro's face, drawing his attention back to her. "My ship is not an orphanage! Now I appreciate the good of what you're trying to do by setting these Jedi free from their bonds and it's nice you want your friends with you. But my mission was to bring you, just you, to Marik. I have a big ship but it can only take so many passengers. I think, if Marik were here, he'd say you have to be patient and carefully plan out your goal of liberating the Jedi before you execute it. Can't we just get to Marik and we'll see where things go from there?"

Shiro rolled his eyes. "Relax! Kyra and Alexia were among my few real friends in the Temple, so I feel obliged to help them. But I'm like you, I'm anxious to get to Marik too. I haven't seen him in a long time."

Alanna looked hard at Shiro, not completely sure if he really understood. He was drunk after all, wasn't he? She frowned and stood up. "I'm gonna go check on her, just to make sure I know what we're dealing with here."

"Don't wake her!"

"I won't! I won't! Chill! I just have to check her out. Oh, and I think you've had enough of this!" She snatched the bottle away from Shiro and walked off. "Just lovely," she muttered. "Three confused brainwashed Jedi on this ship. I'm gonna get killed by one of them, I just know it."

Shiro hummed a tune. "Her boat hath a leak and she must not speak. Why, she dares not come over to thee."

Minutes later, Alanna came back. "It looks alright, but she cannot sleep in there with you. Not enough room for two on that bunk."

Shiro started to protest but stopped, frowned and said, "Fine!"

She turned to Shiro. "You aren't even a little bit suspicious? She could have been sent as a spy, or worse."

"Not Kyra. She's my friend. I trust her."

"Have you forgotten that the Empire has made some major changes?"

Shiro turned and looked seriously at her. "She's staying with us."

Alanna grinned. "Are those hearts I see in your eyes?"

Shiro sighed and exclaimed. "Please!"

Alanna chuckled.

Seeking to change the subject, Shiro said, "So, Alanna, tell me about Marik. How was he when you left him?"

Alanna grinned, realizing she had put Shiro on the spot, but decided to drop the subject. "He was well," she said. "As he was when I spoke to him the other day."

"How are his skills?"

"That is an interesting question to ask one that is not knowledgeable in the Force."

"You mean he didn't show you anything? You know, he's a Force Healer. That's how he's able to recover so quickly from being injured. He can also do what's called a 'Mind Sweep,' where he can enter the minds of people and ease their mental states. I'm hoping he can use that to maybe exorcise Crow."

"You think that will work?"

"It's worth a shot. Hey, has he still got his green robes?"

"I saw them not. He was dressed as a civilian when I met him. He did not tell me he was a Jedi until I accepted the job. But I could tell at a glance that he was in prime fighting condition."

Shiro smiled coyly. "Was he handsome?"

"Shiro! That's an improper question! But… yes. I suppose he was rather… handsome. Not that I cared. "

Shiro smiled. "I lost my Jedi robes long ago." Shiro stood up on the floor and gestured to his dark suit. "This is an imitation, with my own touch." He showed off his fingerless gloves and picked up his odd cap. "And this is just for show. Though not completely." He pulled down his goggles.

Alanna laughed, "Splendid wardrobe choices for a valiant warrior."

Shiro laughed as well then suddenly stopped and looked down. He sighed sadly.

"Alanna…"

Alanna looked at him wonderingly. "Yes, Shiro?"

Shiro slumped against the wall and Alanna went over to him. "What's the point? Even if I can fix myself and the others, the Empire will still exist. And I sense I will still be insane."

Sympathy filled Alanna's eyes. "Hey, you can't just give up. They win for sure that way."

"It seems like they win no matter what. I'm so tired of fighting a losing battle and causing pain to others. Should I just turn myself in?"

"Is that what you want? For them to win? At least this way there is a chance of normalcy."

He spoke honestly to her. "I'm tired of being a puppet. I guess I shouldn't give up. Obi-Wan and the other Jedi, they wouldn't give up. Marik wouldn't either."

Alanna suddenly felt strange. She realized she was actually beginning to truly care about her cargo. Well, I've done it! I've broken my number one rule! I got emotionally involved. I should've known this would have happened eventually. Now things will get really dangerous.

She now spoke fervently to Shiro. "Do you really think he can help you?"

He looked up at her. "Maybe. Yes, I guess. If he's the same as I remember, he's a bit of a rule-breaker so there's no way of telling for sure. But I know this. He trusts me. And I trust him."

"That's a start."

"I guess it's good to have people you can trust in this hard galaxy. What about you? Do you have any friends? Anyone you trust?"

Alanna looked away. "I'm a bit of a loner. No family, no friends…"

"Yeah, I can understand that. The Jedi were my family. But I always felt separate from them. Like I belonged elsewhere. Now that they're gone, I feel their absence greatly. I feel like I belong nowhere now. And maybe, in a way, that's a good thing. No ties. More free and independent."

Alanna looked out the window, captivated by his words. "Nothing to tie you down."

Shiro continued, "The universe is yours to seize for yourself. But then, I think of Amelie and how things worked out for her, having friends, and I'm glad for every person I meet. That is, when I'm not in one of my moods."

"Too true. Perchance I may have a confidant after all of this as well."

Shiro smiled. "I'd like that. You're pretty cool, ya know. Heh. Gotta love a girl with a gun."

Alanna winked and whipped her gun out of the holster. She twirled it around her finger with a flourish. "Damn straight!"

"It's good to have tough friends!" Shiro paused. "Alanna, it's strange. I don't enjoy having the frightening visions and all, but at the same time, I feel like the madness suits me, you know? I was always kind of a strange kid. This just amplifies it. I feel like I can see things clearer now. I see the world as it truly is. And I'm learning to control my madness. I'm slowly finding a balance. It's adapting to my personality well. If I can just find a way to not be haunted by these visions of the Jedi being killed and if I can just break Crow's hold on me, I think I can eventually find peace with my state of mind.

I'm not the same Shiro I was 4 years ago but I'm wiser and, in some ways, more mature. Though I act rashly and I'm afraid, I think I can eventually master myself. My time with Mulann has proven that. So, in some ways, I'm glad for what happened. Because of it, I made all kinds of new friends and I have become a more interesting person. Sometimes our curses are also gifts. You know what I mean?"

After a pause, Alanna replied thoughtfully, "I think I do, Shiro. My father used to say, 'That which does not kill us makes us wiser and stronger.' You have become a more complex person because of what you've been through. So as long as you fight off the evil of your problem, I guess you can also appreciate the good of it."

"A tough fighter and a wise counselor, eh? You're more complicated than you may know, Alanna. I like complicated people."

"Me too."

Shiro suddenly had a thought. He lifted an eyebrow. "Alanna?"

"What?"

"I come in darkness, but fill the mind with light. I bring enlightenment to some, while gripping others in the hand of fear. With me it can be a journey of inexplicable joy and sorrow. What I will show you will often be unreachable. Journey with me and what you see may haunt you forever. Journey with me and you may never want to return home. Journey with me and you will never know when it will end. What am I?"

Alanna frowned. "Aw, come on! Riddles? Hmm. Let's see." She thought for a moment. "I hate guessing games. Just tell me!"

"Fine. The answer is dreams."

"That was way too vague. That could have been anything."

"That's the point. The best riddles are supposed to keep you guessing."

"Well, we had both better start dreaming. We should get some sleep before we get to Wayland. Come on."

She helped Shiro up off the floor and walked him to his room.

"Good night, 'girl with gun'," Shiro said.

"Sleep well."

She closed his door and headed to her room, reflecting on this strange boy who had changed her life forever.

Wayland was surrounded by dense jungles, which made it a great hiding place for a Jedi. The Levana slowed as it entered the atmosphere. Alanna checked her positioning. They were right on target. There was the cliff he had told her she could land on. She switched to manual controls, and brought the ship to a gentle landing on the edge of the cliff. Alanna turned to Shiro, sitting in the cockpit with her, and smiled. "Ready to go, Shiro?"

Shiro swallowed hard and nodded. They would be the only two going out into the jungle that day. Alanna rose from the captain's seat and walked to the hatch of the ship, Shiro following. Soon they were out of the ship and in the humid air of Wayland. Shiro then jumped ahead of Alanna and used his lightsaber to slice through the brush, clearing the path.

Alanna smiled a little. "Thank you, Shiro. I see that chivalry is not completely dead."

Shiro appeared not to have heard her comment. He slowed a little, and spoke, distractedly. "He is near. I can feel him."

Alanna looked at the com unit on her wrist, which had been programmed with the coordinates of the rendezvous location. She nodded. "Yes, the area that Marik wanted us to meet him should be around the next bend in the path." She slowed a little, and turned to look at Shiro. She took a deep breath before she continued. "Are you ready for this, Shiro?"

Shiro nodded at her vehemently. "I'm ready to gain some control. Whatever help Marik can lend to understanding my problems will be welcomed. Plus, he and I are old friends. We know each other well enough for things to go smoothly. What did you think of him when you met him, Alanna? First impressions."

Alanna quirked her eyebrow a little at the question, but sighed softly. "Remember, he was dressed as a civilian when I met him first. I thought that he simply worked for Senator Osma, and that was the persona that he presented at the time. I felt that he was different than the average thug, however. More open, more honest, in a way. That is why I took the job. It was not until after I took it that he revealed the truth." She chuckled softly as she added, "And I will admit that he is a much better looking Jedi than Yoda!"

Shiro chuckled and said, in his best Yoda impersonation, "When 878 years old you are, look as good you will not!"

Alanna laughed, "You have a point. There is a big difference between an 878 year old and a twenty-something year old." Alanna slowed further as they approached another bend in the path. She looked at Shiro before she stated, "He should be in a clearing just around this corner. Are you ready?"

Shiro nodded. "Let's go for it."

Shiro continued down the path and around the bend, as Alanna hung back a little, allowing him to go first. As he turned the corner, he saw a man in his mid-twenties standing in the middle of a clearing. He was dressed in an emerald green Jedi robe, which made his hazel eyes appear green. His reddish-brown hair was cut short, but was falling into his eyes. Those same eyes told the story of all of the horrors and sorrow that had visited this man. But when he saw Shiro, his eyes lit up and he smiled broadly. Marik had not changed much physically but the years had taken their toll on him internally as they had every Jedi.

Marik began walking towards Shiro, as he said in disbelief, "Shiro, is that really you?" Marik stared at Shiro in amazement. He recognized his old friend immediately, yet he noticed how he had grown and Marik was surprised at the young man he had become.

Shiro was silent for a moment as the man hesitated. Shiro held off going to him, almost suspicious. "I cannot be felt or seen but can be touched. I can be found in everybody; my existence is always in debate."

The man smiled as he answered, "Still telling riddles, I see. The answer is the soul."

Shiro smiled broadly. "Marik!" He ran towards him and embraced him in a hug, one which Marik was all too eager to return. Finally, after all these years, they were reunited. It had felt like an eternity. They stood thus for a few moments.

Marik finally found his voice and choked out, "Shiro, I cannot describe what it is like to see you again."

The two separated enough to look each other over. Shiro smirked at Marik. "You look the same, except you've gained some weight."

Marik barked with laughter. "It is all muscle, I swear." He looked Shiro up and down again, and rested a hand on top of Shiro's head in a brotherly gesture. "And you, you've grown a bit since I saw you last…"

Shiro smiled broadly and made a broad gesture that encompassed his thin stature. "I haven't had too many really good meals though. You don't want to know the drudge they prepare on Ord Mantell."

Alanna, standing on the far side of the clearing, chuckled a little at that last statement. She thought back on how little the boy had eaten while on board on ship. But it was Marik that voiced her thoughts. "A teenage boy that doesn't eat what is there in large quantities despite the taste? Impossible!"

Shiro smiled evilly. "I do hope you prepare some good meals at your house. I saved up my appetite."

Marik could not pass up on the opportunity to goad him. He chuckled and said jokingly, "I learned to cook from Yoda."

Shiro turned slightly green. "Uh-oh. Maybe that's not so good…" His eyes showed that he was joking.

Marik looked over at Alanna, only now having noticed that she was even there. In an effort to continue the jest, he pointed at her and asked, "Maybe she could cook for us, so that I don't poison us all with Yoda's unique take on cuisine?"

Shiro abruptly changed the topic. "Well anyways maybe you could help me build up some of that 'muscle' weight myself." He poked Marik playfully in the stomach. "We are going to train, right?"

Marik's demeanor became more serious. He nodded. "Of course, Shiro. I promised that I would train you, long ago. And now, your training begins…"

Shiro's face lit up. "Well, I have so much I want to tell you. But I'm sure Alanna has filled you in on some of the info, right?"

Marik nodded and gestured towards Alanna. "Yes, Miss Sitara and I have been in contact quite frequently since she first found you. And by the way, Alanna…" He turned to look at Alanna. His look expressed deep gratitude. "Well done." Without understanding why, Alanna smiled and blushed.

Marik looked back at Shiro. "There is much further to tell. But let me begin by saying it is a blessing to see that you escaped the Empire's capture and evaded any dreaded hunters."

Alanna nodded in agreement and nervously muttered, "Well, nearly evaded…" She looked around the clearing and found a convenient stump to sit on.

Shiro continued, "Did Alanna tell you about the trouble we had? We may have some trouble headed our way in a couple of days."

Marik sighed. "Yes, she explained about the... complications that you have encountered. And I have heard about what the Empire has done to you. I'm so sorry, Shiro. But I promise you I will work hard to keep you on level ground. From what I've been told, you have been fighting the madness daily and the Empire's hold on you. I will do my best to try to heal you through time. I promise that we will face the coming challenges together, as we were meant to, though I do not know all of what to expect."

"It's the Empire, Marik," Shiro answered. "We have to be ready. They've got this special ops guy after me. And it's only a matter of time before the Emperor himself finds out everything." Shiro finished.

Marik nodded expectantly. "I expected as much. I have heard that you have brought many friends with you. With their help, we will protect you. I know you are planning on freeing other younglings. I believe this is a noble cause but we must be patient and make sure you are safe and well-prepared first."

Shiro looked at Marik questioningly. "How are your fighting skills? I hope you have kept up your practice."

Marik whipped out his lightsaber and ignited it in a move that was nearly too quick to be seen. "I think they are not too shabby." He grimaced. "I've also learned the cruder art of the blaster since I saw you last…"

Shiro whistled in approval. "Wizard!" His mind turned to another topic. "She's not here yet but there's someone I want you to meet again. Her name's Mulann Fennix. You may have heard of her. The Tusken Jedi. She's the one who's trained me for three years and kept me safe on Dantooine."

Marik concentrated for a moment. "Ah, yes, Mulann. I believe that Obi Wan and Anakin told me about her, although I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure. It sounds like I owe her a great debt, however." He shook his head in an effort to clear his thoughts. "I am being a terrible host." He motioned to both Shiro and Alanna. "My home is just a little ways up the path. Please follow me and we can talk further in comfort."

Still smiling, Marik turned up the path and gestured for the others to follow. He glanced over his shoulder to assure they were following. Shiro was nearly on his heels. Alanna then slowly rose from the stump and followed the other two deeper into the jungle of Wayland, towards Marik's home, and towards destiny.