CHAPTER 3

The next several days proved to be incredibly busy for the new Warden-Commander, which gave Nathaniel an opportunity to observe how she operated and study what she was like. He learned some interesting things about her. He learned that she was thoughtful, considering options in her mind before acting. She WAS very good with people; nearly everyone at the Vigil, servants to seneschal, seemed to genuinely like her. She listened when people told her things and remembered what they had to say, and would take what they said seriously. She would try to talk through a situation before resorting to violence, but if she was attacked, she would not hesitate to draw her bow and engage her opponent fully. When this happened, she would not draw out death but would try to make her kills as clean as possible. Nathaniel found himself wondering more and more what exactly had happened with his father to have earned her attention.

As it turns out, he didn't have to wait very long. The four Wardens – Elissa, Anders, Oghren and himself – were checking the courtyards before heading out of the Keep one day when Nathaniel spotted a surprising, and familiar, person.

"Groundskeeper Samuel! Is that really you?" Nathaniel was truly glad to see a friendly face. Samuel had been good to him and his sister and brother, and he had always liked the now-aged elf.

"Well, if it isn't little Nate!" Samuel exclaimed. They caught up for a moment, and Nathaniel caught Elissa staring at him in surprise as he became excited to find out that his sister Delilah was still alive. She readily agreed to allow him to look for her when they went to the city of Amaranthine next, and in fact mentioned that they needed to go there anyway. So they packed up their things and went.

It was in the marketplace that he saw Delilah. He approached her, and got her attention. Delilah was thrilled to see him, at which time he noticed Elissa relaxing and smiling a little.

Was she worried about me seeing my sister? Whatever for?

Nathaniel and Delilah started to converse, and he became confused. He had assumed upon hearing about her marriage to a local merchant that she was finding a way to avoid poverty, but she seemed happy. Not only that, referring to their father as "evil" was quite the shock. Out of everyone, Nathaniel assumed Delilah would be able to tell him that, for certain, the rumors about their father were overstated.

Seeing his shock, Delilah suggested the two catch up for a while. Nathaniel readily agreed and they found a quiet spot in which to sit and chat while the other Wardens went about their business in the city.

After Nathaniel learned about Delilah's husband and new home, he told her about how he'd been conscripted as a Grey Warden and how he was staying at Vigil's Keep with Elissa Cousland as his commander.

"The poor woman," Delilah sighed. "She's been through so much, although I guess it was a while ago now. Still, you don't survive what she has and just forget about it."

"What do you mean? What happened?" Nathaniel was confused. "I'd heard stories and rumors, but while some of it was fairly horrible -"

"You don't understand. There are … things … which somehow never made it to the public that Father did to the Couslands." Delilah looked down at her hands, and after weighing something in her mind, decided to speak. "You know Thomas joined the army, right? Well, before that he had been one of Father's troops and he told me stories about what the soldiers who had been at Highever Castle had done." She looked up at Nathaniel, horrified. "Nathaniel, Father's men didn't just kill the Cousland family. They slaughtered the entire castle, down to the squires. And they... they...were BRAGGING. About what they did to the women. Before they killed them."

"What?" Nathaniel breathed in horror. "They didn't...but that was the men, not Father.."

"No, they bragged about the trophies they'd taken from the women they had violated. They had been told that the more … trophies … they had collected, the higher a bonus they would get." Delilah's voice was but a whisper by now. "And, Nathaniel, Eleanor Cousland, the Teyrna, they held her down in front of her husband while Father..."

"Maker's breath, no. NO! It can't be true." Nathaniel was in utter disbelief. "It just...it can't..."

"Nathaniel, you need to hear this. I couldn't believe it either, but the things I saw Father do after that... the things Thomas told me Father did that he didn't think Thomas knew about – the torture, people dying who were innocent of any crime... And Elissa Cousland was in the castle when Highever attacked. She managed to escape at some point and showed up at Ostagar, on the day of the battle there that wiped out the King's troops and most of the Grey Wardens. Her brother was presumed dead at that battle and was only found after the Blight had been quelled." Nathaniel didn't want to believe it, but Delilah was looking at him with the expression she only used when being deadly serious. "Father went insane, Nathaniel. He was evil. And the worst part, he didn't look or act like he was possessed by a demon. It was all just him. He NEEDED to die, Nathaniel. If Elissa Cousland hadn't stopped him, he would have killed Loghain and anyone else who stood in his way until he had the crown. And he was not fit to rule, Nathaniel. He was …" Delilah shuddered. "He did all of it, Nathaniel. Everything that anyone has said he'd done. And likely more. He was capable of manipulating Loghain into doing all the awful things that Loghain had attached to his name."

Nathaniel sat there, stunned. How could he change so much? How … why? I can't believe it! Why would he choose to … to … this is horrible! I defended this man?

Nathaniel was still in shock when he rejoined the rest of the Wardens. He didn't remember all that he said, but he did remember saying he needed to think. Elissa did not push the matter and let him follow the rest of the group in silence.

A couple of days later, he stood outside the study door and knocked. "Come in," he heard Elissa's voice call. He entered, and sat down.

"I need to know what happened. At Highever Castle. When... when it was overtaken. What I've heard … what my sister told me … is it true?"

His horror must have shown on his face, because Elissa rose from her desk as her face paled. "I thought that the events of that day would die with me," she murmured. "It seems that someone else remembered in greater detail than Fergus' and my family merely dying." She looked at Nathaniel's face as she added, "I take it some of your fa- some of Rendon's people were not particularly close-lipped about it?" Nathaniel nodded mutely. "I don't know if you want to hear this. It's … it's not pleasant. I haven't even told Fergus about it, because it would destroy him. Are you sure?"

"I need. to. know. If I don't know the truth..." Nathaniel just looked at Elissa pleadingly.

Elissa sighed. "Very well then." She sat down in the other chair on Nathaniel's side of the study desk, and began describing that day in a wooden voice. "Father sent for me early that afternoon, after having practiced archery in the yard already that morning. He asked me to watch the castle and perform as acting Teyrna while Father and Fergus were travelling with the troops to Ostagar to aid King Cailan. Rendon was there, as was the Ferelden warden commander, a man named Duncan. Rendon tried, yet again, to set me up with your brother Thomas. I declined, saying I wasn't interested in an arranged marriage.

"Anyway, Duncan was supposedly there to test one of our men, Ser Gilmore, as a potential recruit for the Wardens. He indicated an interest in me also as a recruit for the Grey Wardens, but Father refused on the basis that he didn't want to see both of his children off to war at the same time." Elissa shook her head. "You see how that turned out. Anyway, most of the rest of the day passed uneventfully, with the exception that Bann Loren's wife had arrived to keep my mother company while the men went off to war. And Rendon's men had been delayed in their arrival to Highever Castle, so Father decided to send Fergus off with Highever's forces that evening, and he chose to ride with Rendon the next morning, Bann Loren's son Dairren acting as his second.

"We said our goodbyes and I turned in for the night after my brother left with our forces. I had an unsettled feeling for most of the day, which I attributed to nerves because of running the castle in Father's stead, so I took my mabari to my room to sleep. It turns out that this had been quite lucky. In the middle of the night, strange noises woke me up. It sounded like a lot of knocking and crashing, and the occasional scream. My mabari was at the door growling, which probably saved my life as he attacked the first of Rendon's men who came through the door.

"I was able to get dressed with my dog's warning, and had fortunately been in the habit of keeping my bow in my room so I could maintain it there in peace and quiet. After we killed the first wave of men who had come to the family's rooms, I found Mother. She had locked herself in the room when the shouting started." Elissa swallowed and looked at Nathaniel, her eyes huge in her too-pale face. "This is when we realized that we had been betrayed.

"We checked on my sister-in-law and nephew first. They were both dead; Oriana's skirts were... well, they were up over her face, and torn. There were gashes in her legs where the armor had..."

Nathaniel interrupted. "I understand." He was feeling sick.

Elissa closed her eyes and composed herself. "I knew Mother had seen it too. Thank the Maker that I had decided to keep the dog with us! We knew we were up against a foe who held no value for our lives, was not taking prisoners, and who vastly outnumbered us. Somehow we … somehow we made it through that castle. Everywhere we went, it was the same. The men slaughtered, down to the last servant, the women …" Elissa stopped, closing her eyes. "And many of the children. All were killed, and some were … tortured. The few of Rendon's men who lived long enough to say anything promised similar fates for Mother and me. Many of their men were wearing multiple armbands made out of torn cloth." Elissa shuddered in horror.

"We got the family sword and shield out of the treasury. Mother was very emphatic that Rendon not get his hands on them. Then we eventually killed our way to where the servant's entrance from the larder, hoping to make our escape there since it was a little-known exit. Father was there, bleeding out on the floor. I … I don't think he knew the extent of the horrors that were happening there. At least not at that point."

Nathaniel just sat there, dumbfounded. He didn't know what to say, what to think. He just nodded mutely and Elissa continued on.

"Father knew he wasn't leaving there alive, and miraculously Duncan showed up. He had been one of the men helping to defend the castle – he was covered in blood. Father made him promise to take me and Mother away from the castle, and Duncan agreed, so long as I was allowed to be recruited into the Wardens. But Mother...Mother stayed. She bought us time to escape, even knowing what her probable fate would be. Father and Mother convinced me to go so that I could bring justice to Rendon for his deeds." Elissa finished and waited for Nathaniel to process what she had told him.

"Why don't you hate me?" Nathaniel was just as surprised at asking the question as Elissa seemed to be to hear it. He was even more surprised to realize that he cared about the answer to the question. "I don't understand that. I defended him to your face!"

"You didn't know," Elissa began tiredly. "Or at least, I'd hoped you didn't know about that and think he was justified in his actions. And I believe I already mentioned that you are nothing at all like Rendon was, or you would never have undertaken the joining. He chose to abuse his position of trust. I don't see that happening with you."

When Nathaniel went to bed that night, his normal darkspawn-filled nightmares were replaced with ones of blood and torture. He awoke the next morning actually wishing for the darkspawn nightmares to return.