"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."

LILY TOMLIN

Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Five. Bella.

I hung out at Jake's on Friday and Saturday. Things were only awkward if I really thought about them and Jake seemed fine as long as I was.

Most of our time together was spent in front of the TV watching Food Network or in the kitchen, making the recipes we found while watching Food Network. Often though, Jake would fall asleep, resting on my legs, he was so worn out between school, spending time with me and being on the lookout for any vampire that might want to take a chomp out of any human's neck.

Jacob never actually talked about the runs as if he was protecting the Forks area, he was always protecting me. I wondered slightly if he would work harder at saving me rather than someone else, would he give up easier if it weren't for me?

It would certainly make sense if that were the case, it was still so hard to get my head around this imprinting thing.

I turned the volume down on the TV; Jake had fallen fast asleep in my lap again. I felt weird being so close to him, but I also felt incredibly compelled to take care of him. He was risking life and limb for me every night; the least I could do was take care of him. Taking care of a friend meant nothing; it didn't mean I was desperately in love with him, for I could never love again. My heart was broken; the pieces would never be put back together. No matter how hard Jake would try.

I looked down at Jacob; in his sleep he was peaceful. He seemed to have no worries, no fears. He wasn't frustrated or running his fingers through his hair. He was just Jacob. My Jacob. The Jacob I had come to know and love.

No! Not love, at least not love love. Not the way my heart felt for Edward, I loved Jake like the way my heart felt for my family. That was it, that was all I could ever, would ever feel for Jacob, no matter how hard he tried to change my mind. I could tell that Jake didn't purposely try to act like a boyfriend to me and he didn't mean to say the tender, heartfelt words, they just slipped out of his mouth. Like word vomit.

I knew I couldn't control what his heart felt, but I could do my best to dampen the flame. Like an animal, perhaps he could be trained as well. He was part wolf.

I smiled as Jacob let out an ear-shattering snore. I replaced my legs with the extra couch cushion. I went to the kitchen to make him and Billy something for dinner. It was nice working in their kitchen, it was always fairly clean (after I cleaned it the first time) and everything was where I liked it to be.

Charlie was always rummaging through everything in the pantry and refrigerator trying to find something to snack on; Jacob however stuck to the leftovers. Whenever I returned the Tupperware was gone and in the dishwasher. Billy stayed out of the kitchen in general since they never had enough money to remodel it so he could reach the items. It was our unsaid agreement between everyone, keep the kitchen clean and tidy and I'd cook for them. We all enjoyed it, though I had been surprised that we had fallen into a routine so quickly.

I left a note on the table and turned the oven on low before leaving. I knew it was rude to leave without saying good-bye to Jake, but he had looked so tired when I had arrived, I didn't have the heart to wake him. Or perhaps I did have a heart and that was the problem.

A bucket of chicken was sitting on the table when I got home with extra cups of potatoes and cole slaw, my two favorite items. I got two paper plates and a handful of napkins from their holders and set them on the table, "Did you have a good time at Jake's today?" Charlie asked a little too stiffly, sitting down and pouring himself a glass of milk.

"Yeah, I did. It was nice and quiet," I grabbed the potatoes and cole slaw and put a hefty, but equal, helping of each on my plate.

"Must have been a nice break…from the nice and quiet around here," Charlie said while eating the crispy batter off a chicken wing.

I frowned; I hadn't thought my constantly being over at Jake's would bother Charlie. I had certainly cleaned the house enough to be able to slack off for a bit. And it's not like Charlie couldn't sweep or vacuum himself, I had just been in the position of not having a social life for the past few months to be able to afford spending a little extra time cleaning.

"What changed, Bells? Only a few days ago you refused to see him. Why did you suddenly change your mind?" he asked while continuing to shovel bites of chicken and corn into his mouth.

"We just talked, Dad. We see eye to eye. We came to a compromise," I rested my forehead in my hand, my elbow heavy on the table. I hadn't realized taking control of my social life again was going to bring on the inquisition.

"I'm sorry, Bells. But, it's just weird. You know I don't have much experience with teen girls, let alone raising them. Most of the troublemakers in town are teen boys, it's hard. I can't just threaten you with a night in jail—"

"I wasn't aware socializing was now a crime," I mumbled into my cole slaw ridden spoon.

"It's just— Bella, there's been a lot of accidents up there. People have been getting killed, ripped apart. It doesn't look like an animal did it, the guys down at the station are thinking it's some teens on drugs. They're thinking that the drugs probably originated somewhere down on the reservation—"

"Dad, Jake and his friends would never do anything like that!"

"Isabella," for the first time during the conversation he put down his food and wiped his face, "you aren't involved in any illegal activity, are you? I shouldn't do this, but if you just tell me where it all originated from I'll make sure your name isn't brought up on any of the files. I know it's the wrong thing to do, but you're still going through a rough patch. It wouldn't be fair to you if you slipped on your path just because of that silly boy, he's not worth ruining your life."

I couldn't believe this. My own father thought I was selling drugs because he thought— he thought that I had slipped off the path of the Chief of Police's Daughter.

It didn't help that he was once again trying to blame something on Edward, wasn't it possible that I could make decisions on my own? Maybe it's my own fault that I got a C on a test or became a social outcast overnight.

Who exactly was I trying to kid?

"Charlie, I swear there is nothing going on down at the reservation beyond some illegal games of poker. I know Jake and his friends look like a rough and tumble group, but they all are really good guys. They can just give the wrong impression. I'm certain they would all willingly submit to drug tests and house searches, nothing funny is going on there!"

Charlie sighed, obviously tired of the inquires but not satisfied with the answers. We silently cleaned off the table together and I went up stairs to get my bag and books in order for school on Monday.

The phone rang twice and silence ensued before Charlie called up the stairs, "Jake!"

I grabbed the receiver off of my desk, "Hey Jake, Dad I have the phone," I waited for the click.

"Thanks for dinner, Bells, it was amazing. Dad said you could live here and make us lunch and breakfast for us too—"

"Charlie, I have the phone!" I hadn't heard the click yet. Since when was Charlie such a paranoid father, had he been reading the parenting books again?

"Oh," came he gruff voice, "sorry, I forgot," the phone click on the other side and I knew it was safe to talk.

"Your dad losing it?" Jake asked, obviously amused.

"Quite possibly," I often wondered about this on the endless nights, "He thinks we're selling drugs."

Jake let out a hearty laugh that I could hear even though I had pulled the phone two feet away from my ear. I smiled, I was glad to hear that laugh again.

"I wouldn't have to resort to junkyard parts if that were the case, it's a possibility. I won't tell if you won't tell. Dad can't make it to the garage, it's perfect, Bells. I'm sure there's a wiki page on how to start a drug ring," I could almost feel the warmth from the smile that must've been a mile wide on his face.

"I'll get right on the research!" it was nice to be able to talk to Jake so normally. Like old times, before everything, "Anyway, I'm glad you liked the dinner. It was on one of the Rachel Ray's that you slept through."

"When'd I fall asleep?"

"Right after the first commercial break," I said straightforwardly.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Bells. I'm obviously not much company," I heard the fridge door open on his end and smiled.

"No, it's fine, Jake. You need the sleep; I shouldn't be imposing on you when I know you need your sleep. 'Specially when you are losing it over me. I'll probably just stay home tomorrow."

"Please don't, Bells. I like having you over, even if all I do is sleep. You make me have good dreams," he said quietly and honestly.

I wasn't sure how to respond, "Well, there is this stuffed tomato recipe I wanted to try…from Barefoot Countessa."

Jake was unphased by me ignoring his comment, it had happened a lot over the weekend, "Besides, Bells, some of the kids from your school are having a huge bon fire down at the beach. It's kind of a given that all the kids at the rez go, it's nice to see new faces."

How come I wasn't aware that there was a party? As if he had read my mind, "Some Jessica set the thing up, she called to see where the best spot would be," ding ding ding, I had my answer.

And how come Jessica had Jacob's number?

"You'll come to the party with me, right? Emily's coming down too," I wanted to meet Emily, I wanted to see for myself the relationship she and Sam had. I wanted to know for sure whether all this imprinting thing was fair for both sides.

"Of course I'll come down, even if it's just to piss off Jessica. She doesn't like me," I said bluntly, it wasn't as if it were some terrible secret we weren't supposed to speak of.

"Spiteful are we? Promise me a dance?"

"Jacob, I'm a terrible dancer. You should know that!" I hadn't danced since prom; I didn't want to think about that though. If this was going to be one of those kinds of parties perhaps I didn't want to go. It wouldn't be too hard to make up something; I could call Jake tomorrow and tell him of a homework assignment I had forgotten about.

"It's not that kind of dancing. Please, Bella! The guys and I are even putting off patrol till later in the night."

The guilt hit, Jake and his brother were putting so much on the line for me… well, the pack was sacrificing their lives to protect the towns. I'm almost certain that Jake was only sacrificing his life for mine.

"What time, Jake?"

AN: I'm going to do my best to update every Tuesday from now on.

AD: I've posted a new story and I'd really appreciate if you could go check it out. I really wanna know what you all think before I get too into it. It's called Life Right Now.