"Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not its twin."

BARBARA KINGSOLVER

Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Thirteen. Bella.

Charlie and I brought Jacob to our house for dinner; I had made the hardiest meal I could within the small window of time Jacob had given me before he demanded to go back to the hospital. As the meatloaf and vegetables baked I sat with Jacob in the quiet living room while Charlie did paperwork in his room. I didn't want to give myself too much credit but Jake seemed to be more at ease when I was sitting with him, and while I knew I had homework to do in order to make up for the missed day, I simply couldn't bring myself to leave Jacob by himself.

He needed me, just like I had needed him. I couldn't even imagine how he had suffered when he had helped me out. I suddenly felt selfish and guilty for even having the thought of leaving him run through my mind. We didn't talk while we sat on the couch and he didn't say anything when I got up and made him a heaping plate of meatloaf, cooked carrots and baked potatoes. I brought over three sodas, two for him and one for me, and picked off his plate a little, "Did you want ketchup?"

He shook his head and continued eating mechanically.

I wanted to cry for Jake, but I knew that was the last thing he would want right now. The ringing phone made us both jump up to answer it, Jacob's legs intertwining with mine made us both fall down. Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and did his best to fall on his back instead of falling on me. He looked up at me, staring, quiet and expressionless.

"You should get that, I'll clean up the mess," I said, looking over at the food that had been spilled on the floor. I sat on the floor picking up the spilled food and tried to listen to Jacob's conversation. All I could make out were hushed sounds and his heavy footsteps.

I had all the food picked up from the floor when Jacob came back into the room. I looked up, "He's awake," was all he said. I let out a huge sigh of relief that I hadn't known I was holding. "Could I get a ride down there?"

"Of course, let me go tell Charlie I'm leaving," he nodded and turned around running his fingers through his hair. I went upstairs and informed Charlie that I was heading back to the hospital.

The drive was silent until we reached the entrance, when I reached for my seatbelt Jake stopped me. He got out of the car and walked over to the other side of the car and opened my door, "I think I'm going to spend the night or at least stay as long as they'll let me. I can run home if they kick me out."

"You know you can call me, Jake, if you need a ride."

"I don't want to wake you up, I'm gonna try and stay as long as they'll let me."

"You can wake me up, Jacob," I grabbed his hand and held on to it, "You lost sleep for me when I needed you, I can lose sleep for you."

Jake bent down and kissed my forehead, "I love you, Bells," I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lip, but I knew I had to respond.

"Love you too, Jake."

&

Even though the phone was next to my bed the entire night I never heard it ring and I hoped that it was because Jake hadn't called rather than his being stubborn and running back home. Sure, it wasn't that hard for him what with his abilities, but I wanted to help him out.

I seemed to have a terrible knack of getting involved with people who benefited in no way from me.

I spent the day working around the house on various projects, I couldn't focus too much on any one thing because my mind kept drifting back to Jacob. It didn't take long for me to punch his number into the phone and wait for him to pick up. As the phone rang I realized that I would just end up leaving a message since Jake would still be at the hospital. I was about to hang up when Jacob's deep voice interrupted the dial tone.

"Hello?"

"Jake," I was surprised that he had gotten back home and I was ready to chastise him about running home but he spoke before I could.

"Sam came to see how Dad was doing this morning and forced me to come back to the house today." Why was it that Sam could force Jake to do something and I couldn't even impress upon him that his needing a ride home came before my sleep? Jake must have sensed my curiosity because he continued, "Sam's the alpha in the pack; what he says goes."

I nodded my head and then rolled my eyes realizing once again that he couldn't see me nodding my head, "Oh." There was a long pause before either of us spoke again, "So, how is Billy? He's doing well, I hope."

"He's okay. He wasn't in the best of health to begin with, but he's awake. Well, he was when I got there. He was asleep when I left though, don't know why he's still tired," if I closed my eyes I could see the anguish on his face, I wished that I was at the hospital so I could hold his hand through it, "Bella…"

"Yeah Jake?"

"He doesn't remember a lot of things," his voice was quiet, as if he couldn't find the strength to say the rest of the words that he needed to say.

"What doesn't he remember?"

"Werewolves and vampires," of all the things for him to forget this piece of information was probably the worst. Having Jake in the house and not knowing about werewolves would cause too many questions.

"What are you going to do?" I knew how hard keeping secrets could get.

"I'm not sure. I mean, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?"

"Jacob, he knew about vampires and werewolves and Victoria attacked him. What's a little lost knowledge to her?"

"I don't need him to worry."

"He's going to be confused, Jake! He's not going to understand why you're gone so much."

"I can make up a story, Bella! Isn't that what you do?" there was an unintentional bite in his tone.

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"Bells, I just don't think he can handle something like that right now. He can't seem to remember why he's here."

The line was quiet for some time. I heard Jacob sigh, "I'm gonna go, Bells. I'll see you later. I love you."

"Love you too, Jake."

AN: So, we're getting dangerously close to the point where I no longer have new chapters to post. I'm hoping I can drag this out to Thanksgiving break and write a chapter or two then which will last me till Winter Break when I'll be able to write some more. Not sure, but fingers crossed. This is chapter 13 and I'm working on 20. Just to give you a perspective of my writer's block I've been working on 20 since August 10. Thank you Breaking Dawn. I will finish this, I absolutely promise you on the three page outline that I seem to deviate from so often. I just need to get back on track and work!

Also: I just realized how boring this chapter was. Sorry!