Thanks for the reviews. I'm awful, I know, but Jack needed a wake up call to remind him of what was really important. ;)
Chapter 17.
"She's only 23 weeks pregnant," Jack insisted. When he'd last practised medicine that was just considered viable. He had no idea what the age of viability was back in 1977. Probably not until closer to thirty weeks. "How can she be having the baby now?"
"You're the doctor," Sawyer reminded him, clearly losing patience with his questions. "But you better get your ass over there before she does."
Jack didn't need to be told twice. He took off at a sprint, ducking and weaving around the people who sprang up in his path. The thought of missing his child's birth was bad enough, but if she died and he wasn't there… He would never forgive himself and he knew that Kate wouldn't either.
His lungs were burning by the time he thundered up the stairs onto the porch and flung open the doors. "How is she?" he demanded, doubling over with his hands on his knees while he recovered his breath.
It took a moment for him to register the fact that the infirmary was deserted except for Juliet, who was calmly storing things away in the supply closet. "What happened?" he asked her, not sure whether he should be distressed or relieved when he noticed that the incubator in the corner was empty since it could only mean one of two things. "Are they okay?"
"I gave her a shot of terbutaline to try to head off her labour," Juliet explained, "and so far it seems to be working. It's been almost twenty minutes since her last contraction. She's resting now but if you want, you can go through and see her. I'm not sure if James told you but she's been asking for you since we brought her in."
He swallowed against the bitter lump in his throat on hearing that while he was off nursing his wounded pride, trying to decide whether or not he should give her a second chance, she was crying out for him and the guilt that he felt for brushing her off earlier intensified.
"Now that you're here, I'm going to go over to the cafeteria to see if they still have anything left from dinner," Juliet told him. "You want anything?"
He shook his head. "No thanks." He still felt sick to his stomach.
She gave his shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "Then I'll be back to check on her in a little while," she promised as she ducked out.
The bed furtherest from the door had been cordoned off with white screens, forming a kind of private hospital room; as Jack approached, his ears were filled with the steady blip emanating from the foetal heart monitor hooked up to Kate's belly and seeing how peaceful she looked, he finally allowed himself to relax.
He didn't want to disturb her now that she was asleep so he pulled up a chair and put his hand over hers, careful not to upset the IV that was replacing the meal he should have been eating with her right now.
"I didn't think you were gonna make it," she said softly, her lips curling into a smile and he realised that she was awake.
"Neither did I," he agreed. "But I'm here now." He tightened his grip on her hand. "How're you feeling?"
"Still a little shaken up," she confessed. "More than anything though, I'm just relieved. She's not the only one who isn't ready." She opened her eyes. "I wanna tell you again how sorry I am." Her look was almost desperate, begging him to believe her. "I never meant to hurt you like that."
He laid his palm against her cheek, stroking in delicately. "Don't worry about it," he told her. "You just concentrate on keeping her healthy."
He could tell by her sceptical look that this wasn't the response she'd been expecting. "Really? That's it? You're not gonna make me grovel? Because I will, Jack," she vowed seriously.
While it was nice to know that she was prepared to do whatever it took to stop him from leaving again, all he wanted now was to put the past behind them and focus on their family: their future. "That's it," he agreed. "When Sawyer told me what happened, all I could think about was how we might lose her and I realised that I don't care how she got here – all that matters now is her." It was hard to believe now that he'd ever considered turning his back on her, on them. "I love you, Kate."
By that time, they were both on the brink of tears. "I love you too, Jack," she told him, half laughing, half crying as he leant over her to seal their reconciliation with a kiss.
"I have to show you something," she told him when they pulled back. She fumbled in the drawer of the nightstand, her fingers closing on a small rectangular piece of paper, drawing it to her chest while she finished explaining. "Juliet did another ultrasound to make sure everything was okay and I guess the baby wasn't ready this time because she finally managed to get a clear shot." She was almost vibrating with excitement as she held it out to him and taking it from her, he saw that it was a black and white print out of the scan.
Unlike the picture they had framed in their living room at home, this one was magnified to display just the lower half. "Is that…?" He couldn't keep the astonishment from his face as he glanced back up at her.
"Yeah," she agreed happily. "You were right."
"It's a girl?" Believing it was one thing, but actually having it confirmed… That made it real.
"Sydney," she agreed with a meaningful look.
As much as he loved the name and the story behind it, he didn't want her to concede to it just because she felt guilty. "I know you feel like you have to make it up to me…"
"I'm not," she insisted. "I've been thinking a lot about it since the other night and you were right about that too. It's the perfect name for her." She smiled down at her belly, rubbing the exposed skin. "She feels like a Sydney."
Today had only strengthened his belief that she was meant to exist, that someone or something was protecting her. "Sydney Shephard," he tried, deciding that he liked the alliteration.
He remembered then that he still hadn't given her his own surprise. "I have something for you too," he told her, reaching into the pockets of his jumpsuit and depositing the cakes – now only slightly worse for wear – on top of the blankets. "These were in one of the crates on the sub."
He wasn't sure whether it was vanilla or chocolate that she was craving so he'd brought her some of each. "Chocodiles!" she cried, picking one up. "I didn't even know they still made those. I haven't had one since I was a kid."
"Well then today is your lucky day," he agreed with a smile, enjoying her childlike delight as she unwrapped it and took a huge bite. Juliet would probably be pissed with him when she came back, for allowing her to eat solid food while she was still on an IV, but he would deal with that later.
"What about you? Did you ever eat these?" she asked him through a mouthful of Twinkie.
Not that he could recall. "Maybe once a long time ago."
"Here." She held one out to him. "Take it."
"They're yours," he argued, pushing it back towards her. "I got them for you."
"You have to at least try it," she insisted, waving it at him. "You're about to become a dad and your daughter is gonna want to eat this kind of crap so you better get used to it."
"Fine," he agreed, huffing out a mock exasperated sigh. "Give it here." She handed it over and he made a show of tearing off the wrapper and stuffing it into his mouth. "Happy?" It was actually much better than he thought it would be.
To his amusement, the action seemed to startle her; she began laughing so hard that she had to force herself to swallow before she choked. "Very," she agreed.
Next chapter: I want to wrap this up soon so now that things are resolved between them I think I might just skip ahead to the birth... ;)