Sleeping with the Telephone – Part 3

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. -John Gregory Brown

What the daughter does, the mother did. ~Jewish Proverb

Rabb Residence

Rosslyn, VA

2045 EST

Tina lost track of the time. It almost seemed as if she had no sense of time at all. She couldn't figure out how long she had been sitting in her parents' driveway. 'Face it', she thought, 'there are a lot of things you can't figure out. Life is too damn confusing.' While she tried to shake her thoughts away, Tina turned in her seat and checked on Emily, who was sleeping soundly in her car seat. "Wake up, baby. We're here. We're at Nana and Papa's house." Emily didn't move. "Oh, come on, sweetie. Please wake up." She carefully studied her daughter's appearance. Her cheeks were a pinkish-red shade and her still closed eyes were puffy from crying. Tina took a deep breath and then turned around to study her own appearance, and she almost didn't recognize her own reflection. The woman staring back at her looked old, ragged, and tired. Not anything like herself.

Harm had just finished putting the final touches of yellow paint on his most recent model airplane. Never in a million years, would he have pictured himself retiring and spending his days making model planes. 'Let's face it, Marine,' he recalled saying to Mac shortly after they retired, 'being retired sucks.' And his wife had agreed. But now, Mac had found things to do with her time, and Harm was proud of her. A year or so ago, Mac began looking after Jane, the elderly woman next-door. Jane has been widowed for the past fifteen years, and her grown children spent little time to make sure their mother was okay. When Mac found out, she promised Jane that she and her husband would always be there for her. All she had to do was call. Harm smiled, yes, he thought. His wife always knew the right thing to do.

Just as Harm began cleaning his paintbrushes, the doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" His words seemed to linger in the silence of the house. Then, he figured it was Mac. She probably had too many shopping bags in her hands and couldn't open the door. Yes, that must be it. "Coming!" he called as he wiped his hands on a paper towel.

"Tina!" Harm exclaimed after he opened the front door. He quickly noted her appearance. Her uniform and jacket were wrinkled, sections of hair were hanging out of her usually perfect bun, and her make up was smeared in places across her face. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Oh, Daddy," she whispered. "My life is such a mess."

His daughter looked so fragile and exhausted. Harm thought for sure that she might fall at any given second. This wasn't daughter he knew. Something terrible happened. But what? "Has she been asleep long?" he asked as he took Emily from Tina's arms.

At the loss of Emily's weight in her arms, Tina thought she would tip over. She wondered for a second, if her daughter was the only thing holding to the ground. "Yes…no…I don't know!" She threw her arms up in frustration. "I don't know anything anymore!"

Harm led his daughter down the foyer, into the family room and to the couch. "I'm going to put Emily down upstairs, and when I come back, we'll talk about whatever it is that is wrong. Okay?"

Tina nodded. Once Harm was midway up the stairs, she spoke. "Is Mom home?"

"No. She took the neighbor to the grocery store. She should be home soon.

"Oh," she whispered softly. "I see."

Several moments later, Harm returned and took a seat next to his daughter. He saw that Christina was looking at the family photo albums from when she was a child – just a bit older than Emily was now.

"Is Emily okay?"

"Yes," Harm answered. "She's out like a light."

"Good," Tina took a deep breath. "She needs her rest." She ran her fingers over a picture in the album. It was a picture of herself, no older than five-years old, her mother and her father. In the picture, they were standing by the reflection pool across from the Lincoln Memorial. Both her parents were in uniform and they were holding her between them. She also was proudly wearing her father's Navy cover. The colors off the autumn leaves in the background added a sense of timelessness to the image. It was certainly one of her favorite photos. "I want to be happy like that again."

"Why aren't you happy now?" Harm asked gently.

She scoffed. She didn't want to talk about it, but she new that her father was just as stubborn as she was and that he wouldn't stop until she told him what was bothering her. "My life is a mess. That's why," she answered angrily through clenched teeth. "You wouldn't be happy if your life was a mess. Would you?"

He dismissed her last comment. "Does this have to do with Mark?"

"Kind of, I guess."

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"Not exactly."

Harm took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "Did he hurt you? Did he hurt Emily?"

"No!" She exclaimed as she stood up from the couch. "God, no! Absolutely not! He would never hurt me or Emily…intentionally."

"Tina, honey," Harm said in a calm, soothing voice. "I am trying very hard to figure out what is wrong is wrong, but I'm not as sharp as I used to be."

"Have you ever had your life turned upside down? Your heart...stop…your heart stop beating?"

"Yes. Yes, I have," her father answered honestly. "Several times, actually."

"How did you get past that?"

"We take things one step at a time."

"Mark was deployed." The words rushed out quickly like a water fall. "And I have no idea what to do." She made no attempt to stop her tears from falling. She simply did not care anymore.

Harm quickly stood up and enveloped his daughter into a hug. "It's okay," he whispered before kissing her temple. "Go ahead and cry. Let it out. Sometimes you just need to cry."

Tina sniffled. "I'm so scared. I'm petrified." She admitted in a shaky voice.

"That's normal, Tina. You should feel that way." There was a long pause while they sat down on the couch. "When did this happen?"

"Less than an hour ago, he boarded the plane. He doesn't know how long. I guess there was a shortage of military doctors." She took off her wedding ring and held it tightly in the palm of her closed fist.

"Does Emily understand?"

"To a degree. She asked Mark why Papa couldn't tell them he should stay here."

"I wish it could be that easy."

"Oh, so do I."

"How did she handle the seeing off?"

"Just as I had assumed. When she realized that it was all…'for real' she began clinging to Mark and refusing to let go – begging him not to leave. When he told her that it was time for him to leave and that she had to come to me, Emily had a tantrum. Dad, Em rarely has tantrums! My baby was upset and I didn't know how to make it better!" She practically jumped off the couch. "I have to go check on my daughter. Excuse me," and with that, she quickly made her way up the stairs.

Sparkle Market

Rosslyn, VA

2125

Mac shook her head as she dodged people in the aisle. She never would have imagined that the grocery store would be this crowded at night. She sighed. Of course there were people standing in the center of the aisle she needed to go down….again. 'This must be why Harm used to do the shopping', she mused. 'I'm a Marine on a mission, and he's a squid who has more patience than me in a store.' She shook her head again and went to find an aisle that she could actually walk through.

However, she smiled when her cell phone started playing 'Come Fly With Me'. Today's generation might consider it an 'oldie' but it was a song she and Harm had held near to their hearts through the years. "Miss me, sailor?" she asked when she answered her phone.

"I always miss you when we aren't together."

"I know how you feel."

"Hey, are you still at the grocery store?"

"Yes, I am. Do you need something?"

"Actually, I do."

Mac tossed a box of cake mix in her shopping cart. "Shoot."

"Can you pick up some red apples and those containers of melted caramel that you heat in the microwave?"

"That's what we used to make for Tina years ago. I think it turned into a comfort food for her."

"Yes, I know. That's why I need you to get some."

Mac stopped pushing her cart and pulled it to the side of a surprisingly empty aisle. "Harm, what's going on?"

"Mark was deployed today."

Mac felt the air rush out of her lungs. "H-how's Tina?"

"As well as to be expected."

Mac began pushing her cart again. "I'll be home as soon as I can. Tell Tina I love her and I'll see her soon."

"Of course I will. I love you."

"Love you, too." Mac closed her phone and stuck it back in her purse. She started pushing through the crowds of people in the store. She was on a pursuit to find Jane and then go home. Her daughter and her granddaughter needed her.

Rabb Residence

2132

When Tina returned to the kitchen, she saw that her father was cleaning his paintbrushes. "Oh," she stopped a few feet away. "You were making a model when Emily and I arrived. I'm sorry," she apologized. "We didn't mean to interrupt you."

"I finished just before you rang the doorbell," Harm replied. "And, for the record, even if I hadn't, I would not have considered your visit to be an 'interruption'. My family is never an interruption."

"But still," Tina started. "The least I can do is help you clean up."

"No. You should relax."

"I don't think I'll be able to relax until I know my husband is coming home safely."

Harm knew she was correct. He always worried about Mac when she was TAD – even if she was on the Seahawk or the Patrick Henry. If there was one thing he learned from all his years in the Navy, it would be: danger can strike at any given second. "Okay. You can help."

"Thanks, Dad."

As they began washing the brushes, Harm remembered when he and Christina made their first model plane together. "Are you and I thinking about the same thing?"

When Tina looked at him, Harm saw the familiar sparkle in her eyes that he hasn't seen all evening. "I think so."

"The first time we made a model airplane?"

"Yes, sir."

Knowing it would be a good distraction, Harm decided to pursue the conversation. "What do you remember about that day?"

"Most of it."

"Tell me what you remember."

"Well, it was the day before my seventh birthday, and we bought the model that day when you and Mom took me to the Air and Space Museum."

He nodded. "Mmhm."

Tina began to dry one of the brushes. "I remember that as we started to clean the paintbrushes, Mom came home from taking the dog, it was the German Sheppard…Hershey, on his walk. There was a bottle of blue paint sitting on the edge kitchen table, and when Mom gave Hershey his treat, he knocked the bottle over. Then, Hershey ran in the puddle of blue paint and jumped on Mom!"

Harm laughed as he remembered the event. "Mom wasn't very happy about that."

"She wasn't; and you didn't make things much better when you sprayed her with water!"

He grinned sheepishly. "I thought for she would have made me sleep on the couch after I did that."

"I know," Tina agreed. "Mom sure was upset. But then, I remember she splashed the paint at you and before we knew it, there was a full-blown paint fight it the kitchen!

"It was fun, wasn't?"

"You bet it was! I certainly had the cool parents. None of my friends' parents would have ever done that."

"Well, we all need to have some fun every now and then. It's part of life." Harm suddenly realized he forgot to pass Mac's message along to Tina. "I called mom when you went to check on Emily."

"Oh?"

"She said that she loves you, and she'll be home as soon as she can. Which I'm guessing will be within the next ten minutes."

Rabb Residence

2202

Fifteen minutes later, Mac stood in the garage with her groceries in hand, struggling to open the door. After managing to turn the knob with her left hand and nudge the door open with her foot, she stepped inside and practically dropped her bags on the floor.

At the sound the bags made hitting the floor, Tina and Harm, who were each drinking a cup of coffee, snapped their heads around.

"Oh, Christina," Mac began as she walked over to her daughter, arms wide open. "I got here as soon as I could."

"Mom," Tina stepped in to her mother's embrace. "Oh, Mom."

Mac wrapped her arms around her daughter. "You'll be okay. Mark will be okay. Emily will be okay." Tina didn't respond. "You know what? Let's go sit down in the other room." Tina nodded slowly against her shoulder. "Good. Oh, and Harm," Mac added while leaving the kitchen, "the groceries you asked for are in the white bag."

He winked at her. "I'll start it now."

"It's okay to cry," Mac said when they sat down on the couch. "Sometimes you have to let it all out."

She wiped her eyes with a rolled up tissue. "That's what Dad said –exactly what Dad said."

"Well, it doesn't surprise me. Your father is a very smart man."

Tina sniffled. "It's just…I…I don't think I've ever cried this much before in my life!"

"Way before your time, there was a show I used to enjoy watching. 'Hunter' was the name of it. It was about two LAPD Homicide detectives – Sgt. Rick Hunter and his partner, Sgt. Dee Dee McCall. The department dubbed the nickname 'The Brass Cupcake' for Dee Dee. Do you have any idea why?"

Tina shook her head, "No, no I do not."

"They called her The Brass Cupcake because she was tough on the outside and soft on the center. Like us. Just because I was in the Marine Corps and you are in the Navy doesn't mean that we shouldn't cry at times."

"You know…this is so different from the TADs you and Dad went on."

"Of course it is," Mac smoothed Tina's hair.

"I was so young when you and Dad went away…so naive. I didn't understand the dangers." There was a pause. "Mom, I don't know how to deal with this."

Mac's eyes lit up. "Stay here with us!"

"I couldn't impose on you like that. Besides, Mark promised me he'll call. I have to be home for that. I cannot miss his call."

"He'll call here, too. I know he will." Mac offered, know that Tina still wasn't think clearly. Of course when Mark called he would call Tina on her cell phone rather than the home phone.

"Listen, to me, honey," Mac took Tina's hands in hers. "I've never lied to you and I sure won't start now. It will be hard at first. The house will suddenly seem too quiet. You won't know how to act."

Mac flashed back to Harm's first TAD since Tina born- she was just four months old at the time. Harm spent three months on the Patrick Henry, and while he was away, Mac became incredibly overwhelmed. She realized she was solely responsible of their daughter's well – being and little things began to bother her. The house was too quiet, their bed was too cold. She missed his stops in her office just to say 'I love you' or 'Have a great day'. Mac recalled being so overwhelmed that she poured a glass of Vodka and stared at it for hours. She almost drank it, too. She probably would have, if her precious daughter didn't cry. But when Tina cried, and Mac looked into her eyes, she realized that she had never been happier before in her life. She had all she ever wanted. A great man, a good career, a baby daughter, and lots of comfortable shoes. To this day, Mac figured that if Tina didn't cry out, the Vodka would have gone down her throat rather than the drain.

Mac cleared her throat while bringing herself back to present day. "I know that from experience. Please, stay with us."

Tina hesitated. "I – I don't know."

"Please. Don't make me beg," Mac laughed softly attempting to lighten the mood. "You know I would."

"Oh, okay," Tina sighed. "We will stay here."

"Great!" Mac clapped her hands together. "You and Em will love it!"

"Love what?" Harm asked as he entered the living room with the tray of apple slices and melted caramel.

"Christina and Emily are going to stay with us for awhile," Mac answered enthusiastically.

"I think that's wonderful," Harm smiled and set the try down on the coffee table in front of Tina.

"Apples and caramel?" she asked. "I haven't had this since before Emily was born."

Mac smiled. "When Dad called, he asked me to pick it up. We both remember how much you loved it growing up."

"Thank you," Tina said to both of her parents as she dipped an apple slice in the hot caramel. "You guys always know how to make me feel better."

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TBC
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