"I love when you smile at me, I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near… I believe this is heaven to no one else but me."
SARAH MCLACHLAN
Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Twenty-One. Jacob.
I felt like a girl. Nothing I wore felt right. I only had one pair of jeans that fit. I was seriously lacking on shirts because I kept ripping them when I changed. Shirt after shirt I put on didn't work. Too tight and too small. I finally settled on a hooded sweatshirt that appeared to fit if I kept the sleeves pushed up.
My hair was—managed. My teeth were brushed. My face was washed. My nails were clean.
I was very concerned about my testosterone.
I looked at the stovetop clock, It said 3:30, which meant 4:42 and Bella wouldn't be here till 5 pm. I picked up the phone, dialed the hospital and asked to be connected to the nurse station managing my father. His health was returning to normal, his memory wasn't. I had already been given the lecture about not enforcing the false memories he was creating, but it was too late now though. Besides, how could I resist the situation with Bella?
I hung up after the nurses informed me that Dad was sleeping and waited at the counter for the knock at the door. I heard her truck pull up, the door slam shut, her feet crunch on the gravel and up onto the wooden steps of the porch. I was out of my chair before she knocked three times on the door. I opened the door up to see my beautiful Bella standing on the rotting stoop.
"Hey Jake," she and it lit up my world. "You ready to go?"
"Yep."
I walked on the stoop and slung my arm around her shoulder. Her shoulders were neutral, right?
She shrugged my arm off and skipped over to her car. There was my answer. I was going out with her—not on a date, but doing date-like things. It seemed to be the one step forward, two steps back with my Bella.
I slid into the crunched front seat of her revived truck and she started it up. "You know what movie we're gonna see?
"Well," she smiled mischievously at me, "there's this new dog movie out…"
"Are you serious?"
"Yep."
I shook my head, of course Bells would try and make this outing as frivolous as possible. It only made sense that she would steer clear of any rom-coms and try and jab at my wolf side. I'm sure she found it hilarious. "And what about dinner?"
Her smiled stumbled, "I'm not sure actually. Maybe we could just drive around and see what's around."
"Sure sure."
We drove into the city in comfortable silence, talking pointlessly about various things she had worked on in her report and what she still had to complete. I was amazed at her focus and drive. In the midst of all this chaos she was still completing her final year of school. I on the other hand had given up on school. I hadn't told Bella that I dropped out completely because I knew how furious she would be. After we killed the vampire I could re-enroll to get my diploma or I could get my GED. There were so many options beyond traditional school that I wasn't terribly worried about finishing my last two years.
I pointed to a small restaurant with Bella's name in it, cheesy, but maybe it could get her to smile. "What about that one?"
Instead of a smile her face grew dark and she drew into herself. She took one hand off the steering wheel and held it over her middle as if to hold something in. I mentally kicked myself. Whatever I had done, whatever I had said, suggesting that restaurant—whatever it was—I had screwed up. I should have known better. Maybe a normal guy wouldn't be able to know something like that, but I should, I was her imprint! I instinctively should have known that she wouldn't want to go there. I was such a failure.
"No Jake, it's okay," I knew she couldn't read my mind, so my emotions much have been plainly written on my face, "It's just that the last time I went there I got a really bad case of… food poisoning. It lasted a really long time. It still makes my stomach hurt."
She was a terrible liar. "Sorry, how about-" the only other restaurant I could see was a fast food chain "-McDonalds?"
She sniffled and smiled, "That sounds great, actually. Dine-in or drive-thru? We could sneak it into the theater," that mischievous gleam was back in her.
"Sure, Bells, let's go break some rules."
We ordered the food and shoved it into her bag before heading off into the movies. The show was lighthearted and not something I would normally choose, but Bella seemed to enjoy it. She kept looking up at me as if to gage my reaction. I raised an eyebrow at her and then stole some of her fries. Was this her way of trying to tell me that she was okay with my whole wolf side or was I looking into it a little too deeply? Maybe she just thought it was a cute movie.
Despite what appeared to be Bella accepting me and what came with me, I kept my hands to myself. I saw other couples cuddled together, holding hands, sharing kisses. It pained me not to be able to do those things with Bella. our time would come. It had to, I had never heard of imprints not being together.
I didn't want to be the first.
As the lights came up Bella looked at me, "Well?"
"I thinking I lost IQ points during that one."
She laughed and I picked up our bag and trash. We walked out of the theatre and into the dim light of the evening.
"Hey! Hey! Hey Bella!" Someone called out from behind us. We turned around to the toeheaded boy we had seen the zombie movie with, he was running towards us with his arms running wildly towards us. "Hey Bella!"
Bella folded her arms around herself and responded with a meager, "Hi."
"Cashing in on your free day, Bella?"
Bella shrugged, "I guess. I didn't really think of it that way. That's a weird way to put it. I mean, Katherine died."
"Yeah, that's too bad. I wonder who will be valedictorian now."
This girl had just died and the kid was concerned about how his graduation ceremony was going to go off.
Unphased by Bella's stunned silence he continued, "You James right?"
Bella stiffened and shoved her hand into her pocked, I wrapped my arm around Bella. She was obviously uncomfortable. Surprisingly she leaned into me and Mike stepped away.
"Jacob," we both clarified.
"Oh, right," he responded, but he didn't seem to really be interested in getting my name right.
"We just had dinner and a movie, but Dad wants me home soon. He's feeling a little weird with Katherine's—death. We had the same birthday."
"I thought Kat was born in June."
"Nope, September baby, just like me. I need to go Mike. Sorry, I'll see you tomorrow."
Mike seemed offended, but didn't say anything. I took half a step forward and he backed off. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."
Bella and I walked back to her truck and my arm stayed around her waist.
AN: Hey, sorry about the long wait. Not only was I in Denver with no wireless (everyone protects theirs with passwords there, silly geese) but two days before Christmas my computer crashed.
I was trying to fix it via DOS/Command Line craziness… but my computer wasn't having it. I wrote two chapters out by hand, about 25 written pages. I got my computer back on the fourth and got it up and running today. I'll post a super long chapter next week and hopefully post twice a month after that.
School starts for me on the 26th and all fingers crossed I'll have a job soon so I'll be super busy, but I love this story and really want it finished.