I'm Already There
We take a break from our regularly scheduled story for a special Christmas piece – I wrote this on Christmas Eve, but I never posted it here before! Sorry!
Summary – Short and to the point as Tina prepares for Emily's first Christmas while her father is overseas.
Rating – K
Disclaimer – Maybe if I owned this or even something like JAG: The Second Generation, you would see this on your TV screens, but since you don't, that means they aren't mine!
This one is dedicated to all the military men and women in the field and on the home front, and especially to the military members of my family. We love you and can't wait to see you when you come home!
And please excuse the typos, I wasn't planning on writing anything, but I got this idea this morning and I wanted to get it posted today.
It was December 24, and Tina tried to treat it as any other day, but she couldn't. Mark was still away, and it broke her heart that their daughter wouldn't get to spend Christmas with both her parents like it had always been before.
A few weeks after Mark's deployment, Tina and Emily returned home, but her mother was right. The house was to quiet, too empty, their bed was too cold, and slowly the scent of him evaporated from his pillow, which in part she assumed was because of how much she cried with that pillow.
It was hard to deal with, but she handled it a little bit better each day and thanked God that Mark wasn't the kind of officer who was deployed so often that he only saw his family twice a year – well, hopefully.
Although, when December approached, Tina became very overwhelmed and decided it would be best if they stayed with her parents until after the first of the year.
Her parents – her rock. The two people who meant the world to her, and she didn't know what she would do without them.
Speaking of her parents, Tina had to smile when she walked down the stairs and saw them kissing under the mistletoe. It warmed her heart to know that they were still so much in love after all those years. That's what she wanted to have with Mark…God willing.
"Maybe you two should get a room," she joked.
Mac blushed as she wiped her lipstick away from Harm's lips. "Sorry."
"Yeah, I'm sure," Tina laughed as she walked into the kitchen.
Harm and Mac followed her to the kitchen. "Are you sure you don't want to go to The Wall with me?"
Mac shook her head, "Not tonight. This is your night to go. And besides, I'm still getting over this cold."
"Tina?" He asked. "Do you want to come?"
Tina saw images of The Wall flash across her eyes—all those names, all those men who never came home, all those families who didn't get closure, people who lived like her dad did. "No, I'm not really feeling up to that just yet."
He nodded, "Okay, I understand. What if I asked Emily?"
"Harm," Mac said, "are you sure that's a good idea? She's still so young and this would be her first time there. "
Tina sighed, "If she wants to go, then yes, she can. But Dad, if she asks a lot of questions, sugarcoat it, will you? I don't want her to get upset and worry that Mark won't come home, you know?"
"I know, and I understand. I promise you I won't say anything to upset her or worry her."
She nodded. "You always keep your promises. I'll go get Emily ready."
*** ***
"Emily," Tina knocked on the door as she opened, "Mommy needs to talk to you."
"Mommy!" She shrieked. "Shut your eyes! Ima makin' your present."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" She covered her eyes. "Tell me when I can look."
Emily quickly slid the drawing under her bed. "Okay. You can looks."
"I have a question for you," Tina started as she sat on the floor. "How would you like to go somewhere very special with Papa?-….just you and Papa."
Emily's eyes grew wide. "Me? I gets to go somewhere with Papa that's special?"
"Yeah," her mother nodded, "Papa wants you to go, but only if you want to."
"Oh, I wanna go, Mommy. I really, really do! We are we going?"
"He's going to take you to meet his daddy."
Emily frowned. "He must be really, really old."
Tina chuckled, she couldn't help it. "He died a long time ago."
"Then how do I meet him?"
"Well, do remember when Grandma Trish died and we went to the cemetery to visit her and put flowers down?" Emily nodded. "Well, it's kind of like that except it's a really big wall with lots of names of people who were missing for a long time."
"Why was he missing? Did he get lost?"
"Yes."
"Did he ever come home?"
"Umm, no, sweetie. No."
"Why not? Didn't he want to?"
"Oh, he really wanted to come home, but it was too hard to find is way. They, ummm, well, they didn't have GPSes back then and it was just too hard." Tina could tell that Emily's little brain was trying to process that. "I know it's really confusing, but you'll understand more when you are a little bit older."
"When are we going?" Emily asked, nearly jumping up and down.
"Right now, so let's get your coat and boots on."
Tina helped Emily get ready, and then she was quickly running down the stairs to find her papa.
"Ima ready!" She exclaimed when she came to a halt in front of Harm. "Are we goin' now?"
"Yes, we are." The two of them walked to the door. "We won't be gone long," Harm said before they stepped out of the house.
*** ***
The National Mall
1815 EST
*** ***
"Wow!" Emily exclaimed as they approached the wall. "It's really, really big!"
"Yes, it is," Harm agreed.
"Is your daddy's name on it?"
"Yes. I'll show you." They walked down a little bit and came to stop in front of the section with Harm Sr.'s name on it. "Here," Harm opened his arms, "I'll pick you up so you can see it better."
Emily jumped into her grandfather's arms. "Which one?"
"This one," Harm pointed to it.
Emily placed her hand over Harm's. "H-A-R-M-O-N R-A-B-B. Hey! That's how you spell YOUR name."
"Yeah, my dad and I had the same name."
"That's cool!"
"I suppose it is."
"My mommy said that his name is on here because he got lost."
Harm nodded. "That's right."
"Did you miss him? Did Grandma Trish miss him?"
"Yes, we missed him very, very much."
Emily dropped her head. "I miss my daddy, too."
Harm patted her back. "It's okay to miss him – everyone misses him, too."
Emily sniffled. "We won't get losts will he?"
"No," Harm said. "He's a doctor. He works in a hospital, remember?" Emily nodded. "He'll be home, okay?"
"Yeah."
"I don't believe it," a voice called. "Commander Rabb!"
Harm turned around, it was long time since he left the Navy and an even longer time since he was a Commander. "Yes?"
"You don't remember me, do you?"
"Um, no, I'm afraid not, but if you give me a name, that might help."
"I'm Lt. Clarence, or was a Lieutenant at one time, you gave me your…."
"…wings," Harm finished. "Yes, I remember now! You wanted to be a Blue Angel, how'd that work out for you?"
"It did! That was the best six years of my life."
"I'm glad," he smiled widely. "And your friend that you were here to help -?"
"He's living the life, sir!"
"Fantastic!"
"You know, I tried to come here every year because I wanted to return these to you." He opened his pocket and pulled out the gold wings that Harm gave him many years ago. "Who would have known that well after twenty years I would get that chance, huh?"
Harm took the wings and traced his fingers over them. "You could have kept these as they were your first wings."
Clarence shook his head. "No, they belong to you."
"Well, thank you. It means a lot. And, I think now they belong to Miss Emily."
Emily's eyes grew wide. "I gets to have wings like you and mommy! Yay!"
Harm smiled as he pinned them on her winter coat. "You're a lucky girl." Then he turned to the man in front of him. "Captain," he said after noting the bars on his hat, "I would like you to meet my granddaughter, Emily. Emily, this is Captain Clarence, I met him a long time ago, right here at this very spot."
"It's very nice to meet you, Emily."
"Hiya!" She said. "My daddy has a uniform like that."
"Oh, he does?"
"Yeah, but he's far away helping sick soldiers get better so they can come home."
"Do you know what that means? It means your daddy is a hero."
Emily nodded her head. "Yes ,he is!"
It was silent for a moment when the bells on the wreath behind them rang. "Déjà vu, huh?" Captain Clarence asked.
"Yeah," Harm chuckled, "it is."
"Well, I'll let you two carry on. Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas!" Harm and Emily said before he left.
*** ***
Rabb Household
1906 EST
*** ***
As soon as Tina heard her cell phone ring, she literally dumped everything out of her purse so she could get to it in time. "Hello?"
"Merry Christmas, gorgeous!"
"Mark! Hi, Merry Christmas, I love you!" She said all in one breath.
He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
"I miss you."
"We miss you, too. How is it there?" Tina asked as she began to walk into the family room. She couldn't help but to smile when she heard the sound of Emily's laughter as she was telling her nana a story.
"It's the same. I'm okay and hope I can come home soon."
And when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
"You will," Tina said. "You will. Emily!" She called. "Someone wants to talk to you."
Emily took the cell phone from her mother. "Hi!"
"Hi, baby."
"Daddy! When are you gonna come home? I miss you!"
A little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind
Mark blinked back a few tears. "I'm already there. I'm with you all the time."
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there
"I love you, Daddy. Come home soon."
"I love you so much, ladybug, and I'll be home as soon as I can."
Tina took the phone back. "I really miss you."
She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes
"I'm there with you." They both said at the same time.
"I know."
"I know, too."
I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already there
"I have to go now," Mark said gently.
"Okay," she whispered. "I love you."
"I love you, too," was the last thing he said before the line went silent.
Tina slowly closed her phone and kneeled down as she watched Emily pick out which present she wanted to open that night.
Mac placed her hand on Tina's shoulder. "He's always with you and Emily, sweetheart. Always."
Tina nodded slowly, trying not to cry. "I know." She glanced up at the picture on the fireplace. "I know. No matter where I go or what I do, he's always in my heart."
Mac nodded. "Yes, he is. - All of our military heroes are."
A/N – Please don't forget our troops when you are enjoying your holiday. And if you pray, maybe say an extra one for them and their families. They are true heroes, and it's certainly hard on them and their families while they are away fighting for our freedoms.