"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are 'It might have been.'"

JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER

MONDAY, MAY 15

Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Twenty-Three. Edward.

Eight months had passed. Eight long and harrowing months I had spent without Bella had passed. When time is not of the essence it is a weird thing. We are in a world ruled by time and yet it meant nothing to me until Bella. Even my brief time as a human was not spent worrying about time, for who really worries about the length of the day or their life at such a young age? When Bella came in to my life however, things changed. Hours became grains in the sandglass, days shortened and weeks became moments in my memory. At the time, it would feel like eternity and yet now, I realize that was not the case. Like a child, I had wasted my short time with her.

There would never be enough time to fill by greedy want for her.

After leaving Bella I left my family as well. I was no good for them right now, maybe I would never been able to join them again. Before leaving Alice confided in me that while she hadn't been looking for Bella's future, she had seen that Victoria was planning on going back to Forks. It became my mission to track her down and destroy her, I would go to any lengths to make sure that Bella was safe. Safe from me and safe from any other dangers I had caused for her.

She was better off without me, and the hazards that I brought. I would be miserable if it meant she would be safe.

I left quickly, if I stayed to make sure she was found I would change my mind. I didn't need Alice to tell me that and Alice had told me that Bella would not act in a way that was safe towards her. But if this was the last harm that I inflicted upon her, I could be okay. Alice had said that she would be found, that she saw her at her house later on, weeping over the belongings that I had taken.

A clean break would make this easier, nothing for her to mourn over. So I took everything I could, except for her scrawl of handwriting on the page, there was nothing to prove that I had ever been in her life. Only her memories would remain and those would fade as new ones were created. I destroyed the photo negatives and removed the photos of her and myself from the package she was sending to Renee. I gathered the CD and photos and tickets and then, realized that I couldn't destroy them. I couldn't leave her with nothing, but I couldn't leave her something to obsess over.

It will be as if I never existed.

I tucked the contents of what our relationship had produced under a floorboard and surveyed the room. Her scent would linger on the clothes I had on now, as well as in my room at home. I knew that I could tuck my head into the corner of my couch and breathe in her scent. I wouldn't be going home though, not to that one. I would dutifully follow the rest of my family to where we were now staying. I would play the good son again. Until my time here ended, which would coincide with Bella's. It was the way it had to be.

Once reuniting with my family I made no other attempts of being the good son. My piano sat untouched, my CDs unopened, I hunted only when I was forced to which usually meant Emmett would drag me into the woods and sic me on some poor animal. We chose not to enroll in school, so I was saved from being constantly truant or begging Esme to not enroll me.

A month passed by in this way. I would sit on my couch, with elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. In my perfect memory I would replay our beautiful moments together over and over again up until the three ruined everything we had. Sometimes, it could be so real that I could smell her freesia sent again and other times the memories would break me in two.

Almost a month after we left Alice had her first vision, Victoria was planning on coming back. I had a goal then and the chase was on. I followed her as far as I could, mostly on foot, mostly just missing her by a few days. The one time I ran into her was in the middle of a crowded town center, purposely on her side, most likely. It was then that I figured out everything.

After telling her to stop her endeavor I could see in her mind that she had a new goal. I only wanted Bella to be happy and safe, and she knew that, now she would do whatever she could to stop that from happening. She ran after that and I lost her trail somewhere in the Amazon.

Up until now I had stayed where I was, I couldn't go back and harm Bella and Alice hadn't called with anymore visions. She was promising that she wasn't looking but she was also open to any information coming in. Nothing was hitting her airwaves.

Eight months had passed since I was last in Forks, since I last saw Bella, since I last smelled her scent as strongly as I did in her room. I couldn't do it anymore though, I tried to be strong for her, I tried to give her a happily ever after. But I couldn't deny that she had to be in my life now.

After eight months without her, I was going back to Forks.

AN: Short yes, but it had to be done. When I go back and edit this story after it's complete I will elaborate on this. Mostly, I'm impatient and want to get this up. We're expecting all-day thunderstorms today so I'm posting this now before I put it off any longer and the power goes out!