AN: posted without the benefit of spell-check because sometimes you just need to get things off your plate. Long AN at the bottom, please read if you want my sincerest apologies.

"After wandering through many other homes and houses, I have returned to my own home and I have found what I was longing for."

SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB

TUESDAY, MAY 16

Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Twenty-Five. Bella.

"This is ridiculous Jake," I continued breathing in whatever treatment the medics had given me on the way to the hospital. Jake was supposed to be doing the same, but had said that he didn't need it. He explained that he healed faster, just as he showed me when he cut himself with knife; he said that he applied to internal organs as well but I wasn't completely sure. "I wasn't in the house that long, I feel fine. We should just check on your father and go home—" I stopped.

Home.

I didn't have a home anymore; the tiny white house that had become my home in the past two years was no longer there. After Charlie, Jake and I had been in the hospital for a few hours, Sam had come back and reported that there was too much damage sustained to the house and that it would have to be demolished, at least what little was left of it. Charlie wanted to go and check on the damage, see what could be salvaged. Sam convinced him that could be done in a few days and the guys down there were saving what they could, anyway.

After several pointed looks at Jake, Sam left to go back and supervise what was going on. The few nurses on staff continued coming in and checking us, waiting for burns to appear or something. They kept saying how lucky we were, every time Charlie would run his hands through his hair and agreeing. Jake and I didn't say anything. Charlie was called out to fill out some paperwork.

"What'd Sam tell you?" I asked Jake quietly, the door was still open and I didn't want anyone to overhear our conversation.

Jake gave me a curious look, "What do you mean?"

"He looked at you, can't you communicate," I motioned to my head, not sure of the terminology, "you know, between the other wolves?"

"Only when in we're in wolf form, Bells."

"Oh…"

"But I'm sure Sam does want to talk to me. This fire probably isn't a coincidence. The smoke was strong when I was there, but Sam said that her scent came from the north. He's thinking she's stays out of range unless she's needed at the school, she doesn't work a full week, does she?"

"No, none of the counselors do."

"She's figured out how to cover her tracks, she only comes in when she needs to," Jake trailed off. Maybe not knowing what else to say, or maybe not wanting to say what else there was to say. Victoria had figured it out. She had the perfect plan, completely infallible. It wasn't right. Evil wasn't supposed to win, but what other choice did we have? Should we wave the white flag or fight the good fight because that's what we're supposed to do?

It was all so pointless.

There was a knock at the door and a middle-aged nurse walked in, "You're Jacob Black, right?" She had a southern accent and seemed genuinely sorry about whatever she was about to tell us. I braced myself for the worst, but couldn't imagine what that could even be.

Jake nodded and stood up, pressing his hands against his thighs for help. He was hurting. I hated that it was my fault, but I hated it more that he lied to me about it. If he was hurt he needed to rest, not try and save me from what I was now feeling.

"Yeah, I'm Jacob. What is it?"

"Your father, William Black, he's ready to be discharged," she had relayed the message. She broke some sort of nurse posture and leaned against the doorframe, "I know this is such a terrible time for you, honey, I really am sorry. We just all feel it'll be better for him at home, in a familiar area. His memory still isn't intact—well, one of the doctor's will talk to you about all that when you come and get him. They'll want to talk to you about treatment and maybe some therapy. Would you be able to come back around noon?"

Jake ran his fingers through his hair, it was getting longer again, the way I liked. The way he had it before life became so difficult. "Yeah, of course I can come back around noon. It'll be great to have him back home."

"That's wonderful. Now, if you all need some help the hospital has some great programs for at-home care and some support groups for kids in situations like yours—" how much about us did she really know "—I'll be up front at the desk, I can put together some brochures if you'd like."

"That'd be great." The nurse walked out of the room, shut the door and Jake turned around. He looked dead in the eyes.

"It will be nice to have Billy back home, Jake." I tried to reiterate what he had told the nurse. It would be nice for Jake to have Billy back at home. It must be lonely there, sure he had his wolf brothers but that couldn't be the same as blood family. Although, most of his brothers were related in some form or another.

"Yeah, of course, it will. It's just a lot to take in. And it'll make the house really crowded."

"What do you mean, Jake? The two of you fit in perfectly fine before Victoria attacked him."

Jake looked up, his eyes were alive again, not carefree, but I had to take what I could get. He rushed over to me and sat back down next to me, slowly again. He really was hurt. "Bella, I think you and Charlie should come live on the rez for a while. At least till something comes up. It'd be a commute for Charlie, but I don't want you guys to have to live in some hotel room and it'll be safer for you. I'd be able to keep an eye you more often." I couldn't exactly fight his statement; I needed a few extra eyes on me in order to keep me in one piece. Last night proved that, but I wasn't ready to talk about that and I didn't think Jake was either. "And perhaps we could discuss that kiss." Well, he was certainly ready to talk about that.

"Maybe…" I quickly sidestepped, "That's just a lot to put on you Jake, I mean, it'll be hard enough with Billy coming back home. I don't want to be a burden. Charlie's the police chief, that's practically mayor in Forks. The community's probably doing something to help right now." That was taking a huge leap of faith and probably making to many assumptions, but I really didn't want to be a burden on Jake. I'd rather sleep in a motel room than be another thing on his plate.

He turned in the seat and placed his hands on my neck, cupping my chin and forcing me to look at him. "Bells, when are you going to understand that you will never be a burden for me? No matter what I have to do for you, I will do it gladly and happily. I would walk over hot coals with a smile for you, Bella. Rest on a bed of needles, swim through shark infested water, anything."

"That's part of the imprint thing, huh?'

"Yeah."

I shrugged, "It just doesn't seem fair. Could you say no to anything I asked you to do?"

"I don't know, Bella. I don't think I'd want to. If it made you happy or safe, I'd do it. Please try to understand that."

"I understand it, Jake. I just don't like it. I don't want to be the one taking away your freewill," I grabbed his wrists and tried to take them off my face. They were so warm and it was making it hard for me to focus.

"You're not taking it away, Bella. You're will is my will."

I stared at him, that was my point. I wanted Jake to do things and make decisions because of something inside of him, not based on how they would affect me. "That's—" before I could say more he drew a breath to disagree with whatever I said. "Maybe we should agree to disagree."

"I'd rather not disagree with you, Bella, but if it makes you happy."

He smiled when I groaned and I knew he was joking.

"Jake, you're sure this is okay?" Charlie asked as we pulled up to his house. Sam had dropped the truck off; the tires on Charlie's cruiser had melted from the heat of the fire. We were packed like sardines in the front seat, but there was something safe in my truck. Something secure. After leaving the hospital we stopped by the station where they were collecting the few things that survived the fire, almost everything was singed and in need of repair. My truck was one of the only things I really had now….

"Of course Charlie. I know my dad would want you guys to stay with us, I wouldn't want to hear the wrath of him if I let you guys stay somewhere else." They had both gotten out of the truck and I watched the two of them from inside the still warm cab. Everything was so different. Charlie and Jake continued to talk, smiling and laughing, although tired. Charlie slapped Jake's arm good-naturedly, when they talked and laughed Jake leaned in towards Charlie and Charlie did the same. The two liked each other; it was as if they were almost friends.

After a few moments passed, Jake turned towards me and held his hand out to help me out of the truck. Charlie stumbled over some words and went towards the back of the truck to get a bag of groceries out. "Thank you."

Jake kissed my temple, but I pushed him away. "Let's talk later, things just keep getting weirder. I need some control and this," I gestured to the two of us, "is where I'm taking it," Charlie was preoccupied with a loose brick on the main walkway to the house, "I love you," I whispered quietly, "I really do. I realized that. But—" it started to rain, this conversation would have to wait "—could we please talk later?"

"Whatever you want, Bella." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, keeping me warm from the chill coming off the ocean that the truck had been blocking earlier. "Dad, is there a game or something on, right now?"

"There's always a game on, Bells," he laughed. Laughter seemed to be foreshadowing that things would return to normal. As normal as possible, at least. That was really nice to know.

"Well, Jake has to go pick up Billy at noon…. I'll make you guys an early lunch and you could watch the game?" Jake unlocked the front door and let me go in first. I took off the hospital issued sweater and set it on the chair.

"Sounds great, Bells." Comfortable as ever, Charlie went to the couch and picked up the remote—and stared at it.

"He might need help, Jake," he looked down at me with questioning eyes. I didn't want Jake to think that I was trying to get rid of him, so, with Charlie completely enthralled with the cable remote I stood on my tip toes, pulled Jake down by his neck and kissed him soundly. "I'll bring over your lunch in a few minutes. Did you want me to go with you to pick up your dad?"

He was dazed, but he still answered, "Nah, I'll just go by myself. You should be the one hanging out with Charlie. You guys probably have stuff to figure out. Let me know how I can help."

I smiled and nodded.

After his third helping of the deli selections I put out for lunch, Jake left to pick up Billy. Charlie flipped through the channels and I tidied up the house as best I could. Jake was a lot of wonderful things, housekeeper he was not though. It was unbelievable and a little scary. Old plates, dirty towels, a few shredded shirts I hope Charlie didn't notice on the way in.

I grabbed some lunch when my stomach began to growl. I curled up on the couch opposite of Charlie; he turned the volume down on the TV and fidgeted a bit. He patted his legs to a beat in his head and then rubbed his hands together.

"How was the game?" I started.

"We're losing, we had everything going for us but the other team has some great strategy going on," that was an analogy if I ever heard one. More fidgeting followed the silence, until, "Are you and Jake—" he trailed off, but I didn't answer. "Are you and Jake…. I don't know," he ran his hands through his hair. I hadn't noticed how grey it had gotten since I moved here. "Are you and Jake dating?"

I took a breath. I wasn't sure I was ready to answer that. I knew that loved Jake. I knew that I loved him very much and that I was in love with him, did that mean we were dating? We're we going to go to the movies and old hands, share a bucket of popcorn, kiss in the back row? Despite my past experience, I didn't really know how to do the dating thing. Edward didn't really do the whole boyfriend thing. And of course, Edward being back made this whole thing more complicated.

I would have loved to pretend that it was all a dream, Edward especially, not just the fire. I would be thankful for it being a delusion. Things didn't work out like that for me, never easy and always confusing.

"I'm not sure Dad," it was the only answer I could really give and still be completely honest.

"Well, I just want you to know that I think Jake is a good man. He's good for you and I trust him, much better than Edward was." I cringed at the insult. I wasn't at the point of throwing insults at him. I would probably never be at the point where I could hate him, a piece of me would always care for him and I would have to figure out how to work around that. "But, it does look like we might be staying here for a little bit and I don't know what 'I'm not sure' means for you kids these days, but I want no funny business from either of you. Fred Doogle, the realtor in town said we could use one his houses until we figured out what we wanted to do and if you and Jake—I'll take Doogle up on his offer if I need to."

"Dad, no—funny business. I promise."

"Kay…. So, did you want to go out for dinner or…"

"I can make dinner."

"Sounds good," he said quickly and then picked up the remote. He turned the volume up and went back to the game. I half-heartedly watched the game, but none of it really made sense to me. It felt nice though, just spending time with Charlie.

Someone knocked on the door and I got up from the couch to answer, Charlie never even budged. I peaked out the window and saw Angela standing on the porch with an open cardboard box. She was looking around and tipping back and forth on her heels. I opened the door, "Hey, Angela. How are you?"

It had only been a little over a month since her friend had died. It was easy to forget that in the chaos of the past day. Dwelling on all of it made my head hurt and my shoulders ache, like I was channeling Atlas or something. Everything had been so quiet since Katherine died. Was that Victoria's plan? Make me feel safe and calm, and then jack my adrenaline back up. It was sick and twisted and totally up her alley.

"I'm fine. How are you? How's Chief Swan?"

"I don't know. It's hard to process. Not really real, I guess. I think we're all trying to think about it."

"I can't even imagine. One of the nurses said you two are staying here until something comes up."

"Yeah, I think it's just easier. I don't think Charlie likes it, being dependent but it's this or use a house from Fred Doogle, the realtor, and it wouldn't come with any furniture. Most of ours didn't make it."

"You have to depend on someone in times like these. It's just the way it is. I know it's not the same, but last month win Kat died, I don't know I would have done with out Ben. I mean, my parents were helpful but it's not the same," Angela shrugged and smiled her sweet smile.

"Did you want to come in?" I motioned to the inside of the house which was closer to being tidy, but I wasn't sure things in here could ever become organized.

"Actually, I need to head back home to help out. I just wanted to drop off these clothes. There's stuff in for both you and Charlie. Dad asked me to drop off some of the donations we normally send to the Salvation Army, but the only stuff that would have fit you was from Jessica and Lauren. I can't even imagine what they would say. It's just some of my stuff, hopefully it'll fit well enough until you can head to the store."

I was surprised at her generosity. It was one thing to bring donations, but a complete other to bring in clothes from her own closet. "Ang, wow! Thank you! I'll totally bring these back to you once I get some new clothes. I don't know when I'll be able to, but—"

"Don't worry about it, Bella. I mean, if my house burnt down I'd want someone to bring me clothes or whatever I didn't have…" she held the box out to me and I took it. "Uhm, will you be at school tomorrow?"

"Oh, wow," I hadn't even thought about school. I wasn't sure I wanted to face Victoria. There were so many things she could do, but taking away my home was low—and very effective. "I don't know, to be honest. Probably not."

Angela didn't seem surprised, "Well, I'll bring your homework out to you if you're not there."

"Thank you Angela, I don't know what I'd do with out you."

Angela turned around when Jake's Rabbit pulled into the drive way and he got out of the car. He still looked so tired. Angela turned back to smile at me, "I think you would manage."

I shrugged, "Maybe," I smiled too, mostly against my will. The tugging felt nice. "I'll see you later." Angela nodded and quickly gave me a hug before heading back to her car.

I walked out after Angela and met Jake in front of the car. I grabbed his wrist; the warmth was comforting even in the mild weather. I looked at Billy in the front seat of the car, his head was back against the seat and his eyes were closed. The curtains were shut in the house. "Can I do anything to help?" I pulled him down to give him a quick kiss, it was brief but his hands bunched in my hair and he held me tight against him. He pulled back but left his hands around me.

"There's a bag and a folder in the back, could you bring it in? It's in the backseat."

"Of course," the front door creaked open and Jake dropped his hands from where they were. I smiled at him, I was sorry for not being able to commit so fully to us but I wasn't sure how to go about it. "Sorry," I whispered, stepping back a bit.

"Jake," Charlie called out, "You need any help?"

"I got it, could you just make sure the path to Dad's room is clear?" He called back to him. I grabbed the stuff from the back seat and watched Jake as he robotically took out the wheelchair and helped Billy into it. It was so hard seeing Billy look so weak and frail. It was difficult seeing anyone like that, but knowing that it could have been prevented… that was hard. Jake was doing everything so automatically; it was hard to imagine how responsible Jake had had to be at such a young age. Last year, I hadn't thought much of Jake. Someone I hung out with when I was younger and things like gender and age weren't important, someone who led a carefree life. It wasn't exactly true.

He pushed Billy up the homemade ramp and into the house. I set the bag and folder down on the table and leafed through the manila file: reports, prescriptions, research and brochures. There would be a lot of reading tonight. I needed to help Jake out as much as possible, it was right for him to have to deal with this much.

"Dad, you wanna go to bed right now? Or do you want to watch TV? Sounds like Charlie has a game on…"

Billy looked around, "Did you paint while I was gone?"

The room was the same dingy color it had always been.

"Dad, the only difference in the house is that there might be a few more dirty dishes."

"Are you sure…. I thought…."

"No, Dad. You're just confused." Billy's face was still contorted in confusion. In just one accident, his life had been changed forever. As Jake got him settled in I sat down and leafed through the papers. In the beginning, the doctors had thought that Billy would recover. Besides being confined to a wheel chair he was in pretty decent health. But as time went on, the reports grew more dismal… patient shows no signs of memory recovery… no improvement in memory… The doctors had all thought he would come back from this with few problems… but there were always problems with Victoria.

AN: Darlings, I am so terribly sorry for the long wait. After my last chapter I started a new job and while it didn't take up a lot of time (16 hours, M-F) it did mean I had less time and unfortunately that meant that something(s) had to go. I've finished two books since March and this is the first thing I've written since starting work. (Last year I read 4 to 5 books a month.) This semester was very hard on my and that contributed to only posting one chapter this semester. I am very, very sorry. School is out and while I will be working about 20 hours a week I will not be taking any classes. I desperately need a break.

I had intended this chapter to be longer with one more scene but I realized that scene needs to be written from Jacob's POV before I write Bella's POV and I wanted to get this chapter up as soon as possible. This chapter is still the longest yet. I think the next two will be shorter, but I will also try to get on top of my writing so the breaks aren't as long. I also hope to be wrapping up this story this summer… it'll be a year old soon.

Again, I am very sorry for the very long wait. If I could have done anything to change it, I would have, unfortunately, sometimes you just have to realize that school, income, sleep and health come before writing.