"Fear, like pain, can be controlled."

JOSS WHEDON

Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Twenty-Six. Jacob.

I helped Dad into bed around 4:30. He used to be such a night owl, now he was an early bird.

It had been such a long day and I hadn't really gotten any sleep since failing so miserably at saving Bella. I would never let myself live that down. What was wrong with me? I was supposed to be superior to the bloodsuckers, I was supposed to be able to eat them breakfast and yet one had to come and save my Bella. And the one that was the cause of all this shit in the first place.

I wanted to go talk to Sam, see what he said about all this and what he thought about the possibility of more vampires being in the area. If the Cullens were back we wouldn't be able to go into Forks anymore and I couldn't bring myself to leave Bella unprotected. Not that I was doing a good job of it anyway. I couldn't leave Bella alone right now though. We needed to talk—about a lot of things—and I didn't want to leave her responsible for my dad. That was my job, just as it had been since my sister's left.

I could hear Bella in the kitchen, maybe starting dinner and went in to join her and enjoy being around her. Besides her, the house was quiet; Charlie had gone into the station to do paperwork regarding his about to be completely demolished house. I had driven by it after picking up Dad. There wasn't much left and mostly the firefighters were dousing it in water to stop in more flames from sprouting. Dad didn't even mention the burnt Swan house.

The meeting had been long at the hospital and sometimes hard to follow. I had never been a good student and I really wasn't one of those people obsessed with medical shows, not that I had time to watch any sort of show these days anyway. None of the information they gave me was new, they had no other ideas besides expensive and time consuming therapy. I hated not being able to fix this.

Bella had stopped what she was doing in the kitchen and was looking at me silently. I wanted to ask why everything was piling up right now, but we both knew the answer. This was all caused by Victoria. It was goal. Why kill the victim off quickly when you can mess with their mind and make them miserable and kill them off later? It was all about drawing out the pain and suffering. The only kink in her plan was that I wasn't going to let her kill Bella and I was going to try my hardest to not let her make her miserable. I was failing pretty well so far, but I could make it better. I at least had to try.

I watched as her face fell into despair and it broke my heart, with my imprints life in shambles and my father slowly dying, it wasn't that hard. I held out my arms to her and she accepted the embrace, she wrapped her arms around my waist and I held her close to me. Her skin seemed so cool on top of mine; it was so refreshing. I had to wonder if her cool skin felt so wonderful because she was my imprint or because my skin was so warm. I couldn't recall feeling this way when I touched over humans, though those touches never meant what these ones did.

I could feel her tears on my shit, "Aren't you breaking inside, Jake?"

Yes.

I couldn't lie to her, but I also couldn't tell her the truth. "A little, but I'm fighting back. We can't let that bitch win, I'm not going to let her. I don't want you to get hurt." She couldn't fight it, so I had to. It was as simple as that. Of course, I couldn't tell her that because then the cycle would repeat. I would be just like that other vampire and I couldn't let that happen either. But, she was just so fragile. I was beginning to understand where he was coming from.

"I'm not going to get hurt!"

I laughed, mostly because that's all there was to do. "Bells, you get hurt from tying your shoes."

"That's not true!" I gave her a look, "It was once—and I was, what, seven?"

"You got your finger stuck and gave yourself rope burn!"

She looked hurt, "But I recovered!"

She did. Charlie washed it off and put a band-aid on it, even though it didn't need it. Band-aids had that quality, the one that could heal anything and make it feel better. It was ridiculous, but I wanted to be her band-aid. I looked her straight in the eye, "You can't recover from a vampire attack, Bella—" although, her history said otherwise—"not now."

"And what about you? What happens when you get hurt? If you—"she began to cry—" if you die, so will I. I can't go back to what I was, Jake." If I left her, she would be like she was when the vampire left her. She would go back to being a zombie. "Whether I die of a broken heart or I die because I kill myself, I will die. I can't take being without you."

"I'm not going to die, Bells. And you aren't going to kill yourself, that's an order!" Hearing her say these things scared me.

"Your orders don't work on me, Jake."

They don't work on anyone—and that was my choice. Sam could have the responsibility to order everyone around and them follow what he said. I was okay with that.

But I wasn't okay with what Bella was saying.

"Sorry. Here, I won't die, you won't die. Deal?"

She rolled her eyes, but walked back into my embrace and tucked her into the crook of my shoulder and neck. She sighed, "Deal. I just don't want you doing anything stupid."

Lightening the situation, I said, "Aw, Bells! You know all my actions are fully planned and thought out before hand."

She gave me a wry look and turned back into the kitchen to continue her cooking. Billy had already eaten an early dinner and Charlie still wasn't here.

"Are you hungry, Bella?"

"No. I know you are though and Charlie will be when he gets home."

"I'm fine and Charlie can make his own dinner. You should sleep," I turned the stove and oven off again and tugged on her hand to take her to my room, I could take the couch until otherwise. She didn't argue until we had reached the door way of my small room. She looked at the bed that took up the majority of the room.

"Jake, I'm scared."

Did she think I was trying to pressure her into— into doing something?

"Bella, you know you're the one steering this tug boat. This is all you. I'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to—"

"Jake, I'm not talking about sex!" She looked at me as if to say, You're such a guy! but I couldn't help that. "The last time I went to sleep I woke up to find my entire house burning down and having my ass saved by someone I thought I was never going to see again." She took a deep breath. "I'm just a little tentative about going to sleep again."

"I'll stay with you, nothing bad will happen to you."

"I'd like that," she said quietly.

It'd be nice if I could say I was above all teenage hormone stupidity, but the thought of sex did not cross my mind. Bella, in my bed, it was all too tempting and perfect. But, if she didn't want to, then I didn't want to. In theory, at least.

I tapped the door shut as she sat down on the bed. The cold ocean breeze drifted into the room when I opened the window and Bella curled into the thin sheet that was the only cover for my bed. "You don't like comforters?" she asked.

"I'm too warm. I can find my old one for you, if you want."

In the comfort of the mattress she was losing consciousness pretty quickly and with that any filter on what she said.

"It's fine. I'll be close to you. You can keep me warm."

I sat down on the bed and she immediately rolled into me, wrapping her arms around my torso. "You're like the sun Jake." I could feel her lips moving against me and I was paralyzed.

I had wanted to talk before she drifted off to sleep. I had wanted to talk to her about Edward coming back and what would happen with my father. But I couldn't bare to do that to her right now, she looked so peaceful in the twilight moments of sleep. I shifted down to put my head on the pillow and she adjusted herself, her breath tickling my collarbone.

I ran my hands through her soft hair, the curls wrapping naturally around my fingers. It was hypnotizing the way her breath and hair caressed me. It was peaceful and in my own moments of pre-sleep twilight the furthest thing on my mind was Charlie's reaction to the current sleeping situation. He would have to sleep on the couch.

AN: Yeah, sorry again for the wait, I didn't mean to take this long. My only excuse is my dwindling interest for Twilight. I'm a little tired of the immaturity, not of the 13-year-olds, I expect that-- I was 13 too—but of the adults. I'm just over it. Also, I've grown up and I don't really like certain aspects of characters or relationships in the books. Despite this, I will be finishing this story and perhaps moving on to AU/AH stories with plots that I know won't work with original characters for whatever reason. I am also mulling over a Buffy/Twilight crossover.

I hope to update within the next few weeks. Expect the Edward discussion and Charlie's reaction to our couple's slumbering positions.