Hey guys! Sorry, I am literally about to leave for a girls' trip, so if things are worsely (worst-ly? Fuck idk) edited than usual, I'm sorry. I just figured you might want this sooner than later. If there are obvious flaw, pls DM me here or on tumblr and I will fix when home!

A lot of you asked about Petra, so I'll answer that at the end of this chapter!

Ethere Mystique: Glad you liked it! If that isn't clear by the end of this chapter, hopefully the note down there clears it up ;) Thanks for reviewing ^.^ Appreciate you! blueberrrykisses: Yes! I always used to act like SUCH AN IDIOT around my crushes. Like. So so so so bad I can't believe someone fell for me, lol, so I'm glad I was able to capture that :) oh really? Yeah, there's a TON of Wolfstar (Sirius/Remus) stuff out there, so you really won't have to look far. Douchenozzle indeed! Let's get that ass handed now :D Haaaaaa I am this friend. Everyone knows I don't do plans on episode nights ;) Ooo! And your second review: heeeeeehe, men written by women are just better ;P But yes! My god did we have to wait for that chemistry to get there. (Far too long having to write it! Never again XD) Ha, okay thank you, I was proud of the dog line. Thank you so much BBK! AustenNi: banrayar: Redmatter91: Scribonius4: cscs01:

Trigger warning: Parental loss, spiraling

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the super talented blvnk-art (tumblr) aka potterbyblvnk (insta)

Costa Rica: Part 3

Lily

"Help me, please," Lily whispered, not really knowing where the sudden urgency came from as she was still fighting off a love drunk stupor, but as soon as the words left her lips, she knew them to be true. She needed help. Badly.

"Oh, okay," Mary replied, not missing a beat. "With what?"

Lily practically dragged Mary and her makeup bag inside her hotel room, plopping herself down on the chair where they'd been prepping her every day and night in Costa Rica. "I can't look like this."

Mary's eyes went wide. "Lily, are you okay—?"

"I'll explain afterwards, I promise, I just—" A loud knocking on the door made Lily's eyes practically bulge out of their sockets as she slapped a hand over her mouth, trying to temporarily hide it from view. "Fuck!" Why was everyone always trying to come in and out of her room?! Well, she'd let one person in gladly, but she could do with a few less visits from everyone else. She never had a goddamn moment of peace on this set.

In a split second, understanding dawned on Mary's face with a small gasp, and she hurried to unzip her bag, pulling out a white tube of lip gloss and a packet of tissues. "Here," she said, handing Lily a tissue and unscrewing the tube, "dab this against your lips and act like you're in pain."

Lily did what she was told as her pint-sized makeup artist went to open her door, checking over her shoulder to see Lily following her instructions before letting Petra inside.

"It's just unbelievable," Petra muttered to herself before she caught sight of Lily almost right away. For someone who already looked so ticked off, it was amazing how she could manage to look even more so. "What happened to you?"

Lily blotted her lips harder, unsure of what she was pretending to be doing in the first place. Luckily, Mary spoke up for her. "She had an allergic reaction to one of the lip glosses."

Petra pulled a face. "That happens?"

"Oh yeah." Mary nodded. "You'd be shocked at some of the ingredients they get away with using. And the worst part is they never tell us when they're changing the formula! So one day, a product is fine, and then the next, boom! Allergic reaction."

Oh shit, Lily thought. So Mary is a nervous liar.

"I suspect it's formaldehyde," she elaborated further.

Petra's mouth morphed into a shape so bizarre, Lily would have laughed if she wasn't so currently petrified. "They put a carcinogen in cosmetics?"

"Oh yeah!" Mary said a little too enthusiastically. "And in some toilet papers too!" She chuckled awkwardly to herself. "Don't ask me how I figured that one out."

Both Lily and Petra cringed, even if it was for completely different reasons.

Petra looked from Lily to Mary skeptically. "Okay… well be more careful about what makeups you use on her from now on." Lily hated that Mary's professional judgement in choosing her work supplies was being brought into question.

Mary shook her head so hard Lily was afraid it was going to fall off. "Of course. Won't happen again."

Petra walked closer to Lily, inspecting her lips as though she was a zoo animal sitting behind a glass window. "Do you think the swelling will go down in time?"

"Oh yeah," Mary responded. "Any minute now, probably."

Lily owed this woman so goddamn much. Armed with the knowledge that her lips were only puffy from having gotten so thoroughly ravished by James only moments ago, she knew Mary was correct in assuming they'd return to normal shortly. Still, she decided a change in topic was desperately in order. "So what was the emergency, Petra?"

Her producer rolled her eyes as she reclaimed her previous seat, poking at her long since cold shepherd's pie with a fork. "An iguana got into one of the rooms with a pair of suitors. One of the guys freaked and started demanding that he be relocated to a luxury hotel." Lily was dying to ask which suitor, but she had a strong suspicion she already knew. "He says he could have sworn that the iguana lunged at him and that he no longer felt safe in this environment. He wanted a place that was willing to cater to his needs. Blah blah blah." Petra flapped a hand. "You can really tell which of these guys grew up with any sort of adversity, and which have always had everything spoon-fed straight into their privileged, screaming mouths. They really think that they can get whatever they want if they complain about it enough. Ask to speak to the manager. Try to get you fired if you don't bend to their will."

The distraction clearly worked. Lily and Mary were able to have a whole silent conversation during Petra's rant through eye contact as the latter got to work. Lily hoped Mary could interpret her 'I love you forever you literal angel' and hers meant 'You're going to tell me EVERYTHING later.'

When Mary finished up Lily's look and helped her get into her dress, Lily knew she was just dying to know what had actually happened to her lips — but probably suspected the truth already.

"Don't zip the dress up all the way — Gary's almost here."

Of course. Can't get dressed when the most important article is a friggin' mic pack. There would be no talking with her friend tonight if her producer was too busy hovering. "It's too bad you have to wear that thing," Mary said, looking at Lily significantly. "The bump under the fabric really does ruin the silhouette of some of the tighter dresses."

Lily gave Mary an apologetic look as she packed up her makeup bag for the night. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" Lily asked. Aka: 'that's when I will spill my guts and hopefully get all your advice, please please please.'

"Yup. You will." 'You better, bitch.'

James

"It went well I take it?" Remus asked, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement as James hoisted himself back onto their balcony.

James couldn't stop smiling as he got to work untying the bed sheets he'd used to belay down to Lily. "You could say that."

"I'm glad," Remus replied dryly, but James could tell he meant it nonetheless. "So she accepted your apology?"

James stilled as he contemplated this. Huh. He turned to Remus slowly. "I don't think I actually apologized."

Remus crossed his arms over his chest. "What? Then what were you… You know what? Never mind, I don't want to—"

"I just kissed her." Remus looked as though he was fighting really hard to not slap the heel of his palm against his forehead. "And then I was going to talk, but she asked me to keep kissing her, and who am I to ever turn this girl down again?" James couldn't help but grin cockily to himself.

"You two are incorrigible."

James' grin somehow took over his whole body. "Yeah. But that makes it more fun, doesn't it?"

Remus snorted. "Well, okay Romeo, I'm glad you cleared things up, in—" he grimaced, "—your own special way." James wanted to interject: In the best way possible. "Colin dropped off your food while you were down there. I told him you were busy primping in the bathroom."

Of course he did. "Thanks." James was starved.

"James," Lily greeted him when they met up later for 'dinner'. She said it with just the barest undertone of flirting, but James caught it.

"Lily," he responded in his most mature voice as he pulled out her chair for her, politely waiting to scoot her forward. They had their own private table set up right on the beach, the waves lapping over the sand only a few meters away. There was just the perfect amount of mood lighting strung up above to keep the vibe romantic while ensuring the cameras could capture everything that was happening between them. The sounds of the ocean were gentle and soothing, but not distracting enough to send Gary into a rage over ruined audio. Apparently there had been one season where the ocean tides had been so rough that it had nearly ruined the entire proposal scene and the man had nearly been fired.

"I almost didn't recognize you with your shirt on."

Well fuck. Okay, so the way their kiss had made her feel was still very much on her mind, just like it was on his. James scratched at his cheek, if only so he could hide his shit-eating smirk from camera. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to followup on from their private little moment, even if he knew they couldn't. The sexual tension alone might make him explode. It was hard to see her across the beach as they were both led by their individual producers to set and not run up to her, not inundate her with all his attention and affection… but maybe that was a good thing. Even if it was still entirely evil, maybe the show was at least helping James regulate some of his more intense passions. He was a guy who did everything one hundred and ten percent, but he had been told by some friends before that when this came to love, it could be interpreted as 'too much too fast.' He didn't want to scare her away, even if he knew she was now everything he'd ever wanted. And how ridiculous is that?

Love was frigging hard, and he didn't want to mess this up.

"Yeah, I figured I should try something new." He motioned down at his button-up. "You like it?"

If looks could scorch, James would be ashes in the sand. "It's all right."

Fuck me. Putting a finger inside his collar to try to give his throat some goddamn breathing room, James instead focused his sights on the table between them. There sat a lavish looking salmon dinner, complete with ceviche and chips. James eyed the food eagerly as he settled into his own seat across from Lily. He'd just eaten, but he was never one to turn down a good meal, and perhaps he should try to redirect the conversation so he wouldn't be fighting off the urge to drag Lily across the tablecloth and start snogging her brains out once more. "I know they fed us before so that we don't, but do you think this stuff is safe to eat?"

Lily seemed caught off guard by the question, suppressing a grin. "Hungry Potter?"

"Always." He winked. "But seriously, how are they gonna put food in front of us, and not expect us to eat it?"

"I'm sure you can…"

"Yeah?" James asked, reaching for a chip. "Remus told me I shouldn't."

"Yeah," Lily agreed reluctantly. Had she wanted to keep flirting? "They just told me I couldn't because no one wants to watch someone stuff their face on camera. And Gary would have a conniption if he heard the sounds of chewing. I guess it is pretty gross if you think about it."

"But then why even put it out?"

"CUT!" an angry male voice yelled off camera. "Go talk to them!" Whoever it was, he sounded at the end of his rope.

Petra scurried over a few seconds later. "Okay, you know you can't talk about production on camera."

Even though she hadn't been addressing him, James still responded. He really didn't like this Pettigrew person. He didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. Then again, he rarely trusted anyone these days. "We're just having small talk, mate. Pretty sure that's a standard part of dates."

Petra ignored him and continued talking to Lily. "Why don't you ask him why he didn't kiss you back on the bridge? Or if he's here for the right reasons. Remember how Michael told you that he—"

"Got it," Lily cut her off, almost looking embarrassed as she straightened out imaginary wrinkles on her dress.

James didn't know what he should focus on more: the latest thing Michael had said about him, or that Lily's producer seemed to be actively trying to turn Lily against him — in front of him. Great, just what he needed. When Petra ran back to the hole from which she came, James didn't know what to do anymore. This was the second time now that production had taken the easy, carefree atmosphere on their date, and completely torpedoed it into the ground.

"ACTION!"

James was painfully aware that they could use this awkward silence and edit the show to make it look like he and Lily had zero chemistry. Suddenly, even the prospect of snacks couldn't brighten James' attitude.

Lily seemed determined to make things right, even if it meant ignoring what her producer had just told her to do. "So you told me you grew up in Sevenoaks?"

James studied her, wishing he could telepathically thank her for offering him this kindness. It was nice just to talk to each other as two human beings and not like a detective and her criminal. Plus, it helped that they'd been able to clear the air in private. "I did, yeah. I had a great childhood."

"Are you still close to your parents?"

"Um," James squirmed, "I was yeah."

"Oh?" Lily asked curiously.

He supposed he had to tell her sooner rather than later if this was someone who he wanted to keep in his life forever. "My mum died when I was a teenager. We were really close though, yeah." He gave her a sad smile. "I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was a bit of a mama's boy."

Lily opened her mouth shocked, but then closed it slowly, pondering her next words. "I want to tell you I'm sorry, but I know those words are hardly enough."

James studied her, fearing for the worst. When someone could empathize with this topic, it was normally never a good sign. "You know?"

"Yeah," Lily admitted quietly. "My dad died last year."

Fuck. A thousand thoughts swirled in James' mind. The first was Lily should in no way be on this soul sucking show surrounded by pirañas only a few months after such a big emotional upheaval. If he wanted to protect her before, it was nothing like the overwhelming urge he felt now. Secondly, he noticed how Lily had used the word died. He wondered if she was just mirroring the same language he had used, or if she too hated euphemisms. His mother hadn't 'passed away' or 'gone to a better place' — she was fucking dead, and it was miserable and horrible and it ripped a hole in his heart every time he thought about it. 'Passing away' made it sound gentler, milder, and in no way incapsulated the fucking torture of the event and how it had ruined him for years.

It had taken years for James to feel like he wasn't breaking because of his mother's death. How the fuck was Lily doing okay now?

She isn't, James realized, and that broke his heart too. "I didn't know," he said lamely, knowing — just like she did — that nothing he said would make it any better.

"Yeah, I don't really talk about it." James hated not being able to take away her pain as tears welled in her eyes. She forced out a small laugh and pointed to her eyes. "Because when I do, this happens."

James reached over the table and took her hand in his own. "I get it. It took me years before I'd talk to anyone about it."

The tears made Lily's eyes glow in the candlelight. She deliberated before confessing, "I just feel like I'm letting him down, or that it's like I don't care about him if I don't talk about him, but I can't—"

"You don't have to," James told her earnestly. "Not until you're ready. There's no timeline for this stuff." Lily took her napkin to blot at her cheeks with her free hand looking embarrassed, which in James' mind, was absolutely insane. Why the hell should she be embarrassed about being sad? It wasn't some form of moral failing to have loved and lost. "Someone told me that grief is just love with nowhere to go, because that object of your affection, that person that meant the world to you is suddenly gone." He tried to catch Lily's gaze to let her know that her tears were valid, her hurt was valid, and he didn't view at her any differently because of it. "That really helped me, because for a while there I was acting out because I was a dumb kid who thought he couldn't express emotions, only anger, and then I'd feel like my mum would be ashamed of me if she could see me now, you know, fucking up… which only made me sadder and act out more." James wiggled his suddenly tickling nose, hoping he wouldn't start crying too. So maybe Lily's embarrassment isn't all that insane after all… "But the more time passed, the easier it was to think of the good times. The easier it was to think about her without feeling the weight of having lost her. You'll be able to look back and experience the joy and privilege of having had them in your life without it hurting so much. One day." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I know it's cheesy as hell, but it really does get better. And you're not letting them down by needing time to heal from their death."

Another two tears rolled down each of Lily's cheeks as she looked at him, imprinting herself onto his soul. "Thank you," she breathed. They shared a moment as the tide got steadily closer with each wave. James had the feeling that neither of them cared if they both got swept away into the ocean. "Can you tell me about her?"

James would do anything she asked. He knew it was still too soon and too raw for Lily to talk about her father, but he hoped hearing about his mother would provide her with the distraction her heart needed. "Yeah," he smiled, and just like he had just explained, he actually meant the mirth her memory brought him. Thinking back on his mum made him happy and even if it was hard, it was completely worth it. "She was a firecracker."

Lily laughed, and James' heart swelled. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. My poor dad probably didn't know what he was getting into when he started dating her." James winked at Lily, his new favorite pastime, and he loved the way it elicited a blush on her cheeks. "She was always the life of the party, always honest, but had a heart of gold. Not someone who used the truth to wound, but to push you to be better. She was tough on me though."

"Well, I can't imagine raising you was easy," Lily teased, and James loved that too.

"Nah, I suppose not. She expected a lot, because she believed in me I guess." James looked out over the ocean, stuffing his free fingers in his hair. They still hadn't stopped holding hands on the table, and he had a feeling neither of them wanted to let go. "I know it's silly, but I keep up with her language because it makes me feel closer to her. Even now."

Lily

Holy shit, who was this guy? She'd gone from thinking he deserved a shot to completely falling in love with him in like a day. It truly made her question her own stability. Had this show pushed her through just the right amount of hoops that she was now perfectly susceptible to falling for a fairytale? Did they have some sort of algorithm in place to know how to crack even the most sensible of people? Or maybe it was the eye contact, followed by him quite literally carrying you to safety, and then that world shattering kiss. It might be all of that. (But wasn't that sort of a fairytale in its own right?) Either way, everything all felt like it was happening so fast, and Lily's mind was left in a tailspin.

Right, but the matter presently at hand was how this man — this amazing, handsome man — kept up with Spanish in a bid to feel closer to his dead mother. How could she even respond to that?! Everything she was thinking felt wrong and inadequate and so trivial compared to the heart of that sentiment. "I don't think that's silly at all." Lily's brows stitched together. "I mean that's her culture, that's your heritage… I think it's beautiful you'd want to preserve that."

James' hand pulsed in hers as he shot her a smile. Her encouragement seemed to be allowing him to delve into his feelings further. "I think about her every time I accomplish anything. I think about how she'd be proud… and how I wish she'd been able to see me do the things we'd set out for together, you know?" Lily's heart ached for him. She guessed his mum had died before he'd been professionally recruited into football. She couldn't imagine the pain of finally having achieved your dreams and knowing that the most important person in your life would never get to see that. Never get to know that you had made it happen. She was sure that his mum had always believed in him… but still. She hadn't been around to see James on that pitch — and that was so devastating. No wonder he dreamed of having his own child being able to experience that moment with him. It was his way of righting a cosmic injustice.

"But more than that," James continued, "I really wish she was still here to tell the little things to." He chuckled, fiddling with his fork. "I can't tell you how many times I saw a news article in the early days, or even some funny, stupid headline, and I giggled to myself and thought about sending it to her before I realized she wasn't there anymore to receive it." Oh fuck. This hurt. This hurt so fucking much. Lily still had a hard time opening her personal email inbox because every time she did, she saw those emails her dad had sent her that she'd never replied to. He had gone out of his way to send her articles he found about teaching, new laws being passed that helped them or hurt them, and she'd been so busy she'd never responded. She'd told herself she would over summer holiday, or she'd just catch up with him when she saw him next, but she never had. Her unintentional callousness still haunted her. She was so grateful James wasn't pushing her to open up in return — that he knew she couldn't — because she was pretty sure she'd only be reduced to a puddle of tears if she tried.

James carried on, "I got diagnosed with ADHD the year after she died and the first thing I thought of was telling her, because suddenly my life made so much more sense. It was like I couldn't wait to go home and have her find out that the reason I was such a menace to teach wasn't because I didn't care, but because my brain literally was just wired differently than hers, you know? It would have made her feel so much better." His chuckles were tinged with sorrow now. "It's crazy that this person who literally made me died without getting to know that about me."

This was getting deep. Lily realized she was crying again when her tears started landing in her lap.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry—"

"No, I just get it," Lily mollified him. "I feel that way about my dad never getting a chance to meet my future husband. My kids."

It was too heavy of a topic for Lily to admit, but in that moment, she really had wanted to put James' needs above her own. She'd wanted to hear him talk about his mum, because she knew talking about her made him feel like he was keeping her spirit alive. She so desperately wanted to reach that point with her own tragedy.

They stared at each other for a few moments before James got to his feet and stepped towards her before pulling her up and into his arms, engulfing her in a hug. She froze up, much like James had when she'd first kissed him, before she sunk into his embrace, not realizing just how badly she'd needed to be held until he was doing it. She wrapped her arms around his waist, nuzzling her face into his chest, as she felt the anvil of expectations and pressure sitting directly on her shoulders lightening just a tad.

James rubbed her back as he held her close, kissing the top of her hair. "For what it's worth, my mum would have adored you."

A ripple of happiness shot through Lily, and she tried not reading into his words too much. Just because he saw that she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown and was trying to pull her back did not mean that he had heard her talking about her future spouse and was now talking about his. Don't jump to conclusions.

"She probably would have disowned me just so that she could adopt you."

Lily snorted. This man really was like her own personal ray of sunshine. After how she'd treated him so poorly for so many weeks, Lily was starting to become a little self conscious about whether or not she even deserved him anymore. "I don't know what my mum would say about that."

"You can have two mums, Evans. Stop being so close-minded."

Lily laughed as she pulled back and slapped his chest. Just out of frame, Gary grunted and pulled his headphones off his ears cursing, James' mic clearly just having gotten clapped beneath his shirt. It was yet another uncomfortable reminder to Lily that they were so rarely ever alone. She wanted to steal James away again and have another moment like they had against her wall.

"So how have you been?" James asked, obviously trying to keep their conversation going despite their unfortunate circumstances. "I hear you're really great at smashing things."

Lily felt her eyebrows climbing up her forehead. What the hell was he talking about?

"To smithereens," James embellished.

"What?"

James ran a hand through his hair, clearly flustered. "I really did hear that," he mumbled. "Paul is talking to me again, and he mentioned on your date that you…" He grimaced at his own gracelessness. "You know what, forget I said anything."

"Oh no, no no," Lily replied, now smiling her face off. He was referring to the rage room date she'd had with Paul. It was a weird pivot, but one she was willing to milk now that she knew what was going on. She loved that even when they were away from each other he was still thinking about her, talking about her… She also loved just how hard he was trying to make her smile. The effort alone was enough to succeed. "You were thinking about me smashing, eh? That's totally normal." Teasing him was fun; it was flirting and boosting her confidence all wrapped up into one.

His eyes sliced from staring at his shoes to looking at her through his lustrous lashes. "You're cheeky." He didn't say it like it was a surprise, but like it was one of the traits he enjoyed the most about her. Lily hedonistically wondered just what else he saw when he looked at her.

"And you like it," she whispered, repeating the line he'd used on her twice now right back at him. She was getting high off of the way he was regarding her, the way he was appreciating her and all her quirks and faults and just absolutely unraveling the mystery of her. Lily had never considered herself to be a particularly complicated person — she'd always considered her way of thinking and logic as quite linear and easy to follow… but maybe somewhere along the lines things had gotten blurred. Perhaps being on this show and suddenly having a thousand factors going into how she made a single life choice when she used to just go off of instinct had made things massively complicated. But despite all that, despite the drama and confusion, James was still here, willing and eager to try to understand. It meant she meant something to him — and that feeling made her heart skip a beat.

Honestly: where had this guy come from?

They were still standing far too close for the way James licked his lips to not be interpreted as a very welcome threat. "I mean yeah. Thinking about you using a bat to obliterate things is a lot less of a scary thought now that you no longer actively despise me."

She clucked her tongue against her cheek. "Who says I still don't?" Maybe making your date think that you wanted to physically club him wasn't the smartest move — yeah, she could tell that after a second of reflection. Unfortunately for her, keeping up with Potter's wit and snark didn't allow for such lags in conversation where she would have normally let her better judgement take over. Instead, she'd just gone with the first thing that had popped into her head, and now she had to stick with it. Fuck, what does this boy do to me?

She wanted to learn everything about him and decipher his code too. She wanted to lock him away in her heart and throw away the key.

James shook his head, trying to process her teasing in real time. "You're saying you do despise me?"

Lily raised her shoulders nonchalantly, not wanting to give him a win, even if him winning meant they both did. He had told her he burned for her, and this was how she repaid him? Why are you like this?! "I mean, I might. Who knows?"

He bit his lower lip, looking at hers. She suspected that he was starting to glean just how much he got under her skin. "Touché, Evans."

He was leaning in, he was definitely leaning in.

And that is when Lily knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that the show was trying to sabotage them. "Cut!"

This time when Petra walked up to her, Lily had a very hard time keeping the annoyance out of her stare. "Lily, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked, motioning for them to step off camera.

Lily reluctantly followed her producer out of earshot of James.

"Okay, you have to tell me what is going on," Petra told Lily.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. The guy rejected your kiss and now you guys are flirting up a storm? That doesn't make any sense. What happened? What don't I know about, because it's definitely something, and I don't like being in the dark."

Oh damn. It looked as though Petra had stopped trusting her at the same time that Lily had stopped trusting her right back. If this had all happened even a few days ago, Lily would have probably told Petra the story of how James had snuck into her room and snogged her brains out. She would have probably believed that Petra would have her back and maybe even help her and James sneak around in the future. She'd always had her back before; she'd been her friend. But now? Lily was irrevocably certain that she had to guard that secret from production with her life. Nothing good could come from telling Petra the truth, and that fact was a massive blow to Lily's psyche. "I dunno," Lily stumbled, trying to come up with an adequate cover. "He's being nice, so I'm just trying to give him a chance. Besides, I don't know if you noticed, but I was kinda terrified on the bridge. So I wasn't exactly thinking straight. Perhaps he picked up on that and it made him uncomfortable."

If Petra felt any shame for having put Lily in that predicament, she didn't show it. Instead, she merely narrowed her eyes as she kept watching Lily like a hawk. "Did you guys talk off camera?"

Fuck. All the alarm bells were going off in Lily's head now. "What? When? How?" She really hoped she wasn't overselling this. "I was in my room the whole time."

Petra seemed partially satisfied with her answer, at least enough to bring out her clipboard again. "I still think you should talk about his reaction to your kiss. You can't let that sort of thing slide, otherwise he may think he can get away with it later. You know, you gotta stand up for yourself. And you've always told me you were big on affection — why settle when you have all these great men?"

Wow. Now that Lily had clued in on Petra's manipulation, it was nearly impossible to ignore. Why did she want her to fight with James so badly? Did this go back to what Petra had said about production always having to scramble to make it look like the Bachelorettes wouldn't chose their first night choice? Would she really risk me losing out on love for drama? For an added ratings boost? Lily wanted to slap herself. Wake up! She doesn't give a shit about you! This was Petra's first year handling the lead — of course she'd do anything in her power to give the show runners the best season ever and cement her position in the franchise.

"Anyway," Petra continued, flipping a page, "you've got to give your rose to him now." She looked up briefly as though Lily might fight her on the demand. It was in that instant that Lily realized the woman didn't even see the new, very real connection she was forming with James — or simply didn't care to see it. It felt like it had to be willful ignorance to ignore such blatant chemistry, because how the hell else would you miss it otherwise? Maybe she's never believed in the premise of the show to begin with, just thought you were a dumb enough sucker to try it. "You have to keep him one more episode, so just do that and then we're moving to a new set this way. We have a private concert booked for you guys that they're lighting now. Even if you don't recognize the artist, please gasp and pretend like she's your favorite anyway, okay?"

"Of course." Because Petra really didn't see any of this as real — not like Lily was starting to. Lily knew she had made fun of the whole handing out of roses at the beginning, because it was a pretty ridiculous thing to do, but she was actually starting to get invested in the whole process. She wasn't giving these men a rose, not really even if literally, but sort of giving them a piece of her heart. Okay, calm down, drama queen, Lily chastised herself. Fine, so it wasn't her heart, but it was a promise. She was promising these men, was promising James, that she wanted to keep trying with him, to see where dating him would go, in the hopes of finding love.

Shit. She was in so deep. Too deep.

James

Nothing was stopping him from kissing his girl again, James decided right then and there as he was led back to Lily, further up the beach to a small makeshift stage. Next time the crew yelled cut, he'd just say fuck it, and lean in anyway, snogging her senseless. If they didn't want to record that shit, great, that worked out better for them anyway.

Lily had come back from Petra almost robotically, offering him the rose that had been placed on a silver-rimmed agate slice between them, looking as though she was only going through the motions as she asked him if he would accept it.

He tried to catch her eye as she pinned the flower to his lapel, but she was too busy concentrating, looking weighed down by the world.

Now, after a small break, her expression looked just as troubled when James rejoined her, slipping his hand in hers right away. Worried or not, she allowed his small affection, intertwining their fingers absentmindedly. It was as if standing by his side was already the most natural thing in the world.

"All right, Evans?" he whispered.

She startled, so deep in thought that she may have actually forgotten where they were. What the fuck did Pettigrew say to her?

She looked up to him and gave a small unconvincing smile. "I'm fine."

James was really starting to hate that word. It didn't take a very long time being in Lily's presence to realize that her using is was probably a bit of a red flag. He wanted to tell her she could talk to him about what was plaguing her, but given who had caused her mood shift, he knew they couldn't do that.

This show is really starting to get annoying…

A petite brunette with a guitar stepped on stage, wasting no time introducing herself and gushing about how cute they looked together. As soon as she began to perform, James spun Lily into his arms, hoping it was okay he was holding her so close against him.

She rested her forearms on his shoulders, locking eyes with him. They were just so green, James had never seen anything like it. His fingers dug into her hips, wanting more than anything to make sure she was okay. Their conversation about loss had been so heavy, and he was starting to see just how isolated the show had made her, completely taking away her support system and replacing it with a sham one.

The gruesome notion that production probably wanted her to crack floated to the top of his thoughts. After all, didn't they always use the shots of the contestants crying in the promos? Worse, if the lead had a full on meltdown, wasn't the season completely centered around that moment? Before he'd left for the show, Jonathon (James' PR manager) had joked to him to not jump any fences. He hadn't understood the quip at first, but apparently, a past Bachelor had gotten so fed up with production, that he had literally jumped clean over a gate in order to flee them and get a few hours of privacy. James had thought that guy must have been unstable to begin with — but he was starting to get it now.

James swayed Lily in his arms, getting more and more lost in her eyes. There was an innocence there, a gravitas. She held his heart completely in her palm, and he wasn't even sure if she knew it quite yet. "May I kiss you?" he whispered.

A hint of eagerness pierced her otherwise sorrowful look, tilting her chin up to meet him. It calmed James more than he'd care to admit to know without a doubt that he hadn't messed up in some way he hadn't realized yet. He brushed his lips against hers softly, wanting to drag this magical moment out for hours, days, however long they could both stand here before he could get her to relax in his arms. He hoped she could tell he was whispering her a promise, trying to tell her through his gentle caress that he was there for her, would always be there for her, and that she didn't have to do any of this alone. They'd figure this out — together. The show could try, but they would not succeed in tearing them apart, not if his feelings for her had any say in the matter. She sagged against him, a faint sigh escaping her lungs and being breathed in by his, a tacit pact being signed between their bodies.

He kissed her for a little longer still, until they had to break apart, the singer having finished her song. As he looked down at Lily, gentling pushing a tendril of hair off her forehead and curving it around her ear, the light caught in her eyes, making them shine brighter than ever before. How did she look even more vulnerable now after they'd kissed?

They didn't say anything as they held their stare, somehow able to ignore all the commotion happening all around them. James had a strong suspicion that production had yelled cut and were trying to break down the set so they could all go to bed, the night being unreasonably late with all the filming they'd accomplished, but James couldn't care less. It had been a terribly long day for anyone who hadn't been them. For James, he never wanted this night to end.

Someone pulled Lily away, and James felt completely helpless as he watched her go, not knowing what to do.

Lily

The next day, Lily knew exactly what she had to do. She'd barely slept all night, too amped up on adrenaline, hormones, paranoia — the gamut of emotions. Every time she daydreamed about her time with James, her mind chastised her for not focusing on the bigger problem of her producer's possible betrayal, but when she did focus on that, she felt like she was letting her heart down by not allowing it the small pleasure of being excited. So now, their last day in Costa Rica, she was going to clean house. Sure, she couldn't oust the (Possible! She still deserved a chance to redeem herself!) big bad guy of the show, Petra, but Lily could at least get rid of the most annoying one: Michael.

So as she sat in her makeup chair, nearly falling asleep as Mary soothingly swept her brush over her cheekbones, Lily couldn't wait to get this damn filming over with so that she could just go back to bed. Tomorrow they were all traveling to a new country, which was bittersweet, because Costa Rica had really grown on Lily for some unknown six-foot-two reason.

As soon as her hotel door closed behind Petra, heading off to tell production that Lily had decided she was skipping the cocktail party and going to go straight into the elimination ceremony, Mary looked at her expectantly. "So, those were snog-puffed lips, right?"

The lips in question quirked up. "Yeah…"

Mary's jaw dropped with glee as she let out a squeal. "It was James, wasn't it? Well, duh. As far as first dates went, I'd say that's the best one I've ever seen." She tilted her head. "How did you guys do it?"

Lily hesitated for a beat. You can trust her… her gut said. "He snuck into my room."

Mary clutched at her heart. "Aw, that's so romantic!"

Lily bit her lip, suddenly wanting to use Mary's years of the experience on the show to get a bit of insight. "Have any of the previous leads ever done that? Snuck around with their contestants I mean. That you know of?"

Mary considered this. "Yeah, I think a fair few do it. Although you have to be careful, because one of the girls once did it, but either she or the dude forgot that their mics were still on and they recorded the audio of them having sex—"

"No!" Lily gasped, feeling sick to her stomach. Was there no level too low for this show to sink to? Petra wouldn't do that to her, would she? She'd been the one who had told her that another producer had stolen her vibrator! She personally had boundaries she wouldn't cross… right?

"Oh yeah. You heard them moaning. They basically filmed their closed door while it was happening. Then did a montage of suggestive things." Off of Lily's confused look Mary explained, "A bee pollinating a flower, a bird chirping a mating call… a sprinkler popping out of the grass and spraying around like crazy."

"Ugh."

"Yeah, they weren't really subtle about it. It's not like they could play all that much on television, but you definitely got the picture." Mary cringed. "So I'd be really careful about it if I were you. That same Bachelorette did later say in a memoir that she also snuck off to see her fiancé, but they never got caught—"

"Oh, she didn't end up picking the guy she was recorded… visiting?" Lily supposed there was no reason why she had to, but she was still caught off guard.

"Nope," Mary said with a sigh. "So naturally the guy she did pick in the end didn't stick around that long after the episodes aired. I guess it was okay for him to think about her forming other connections in theory, but seeing and hearing it so vividly was a bit too much for him."

Lily wasn't sure how she felt. Sure, the fiancé knew the show he'd signed up for, but man, what a horrible situation to be in. Truthfully, it was an almost inhumane experience all around. It wasn't like she or any of her suitors were seasoned polygamists who knew how to navigate all these complicated relationships forming at the same damn time, especially if they were at all the jealous type. Lily was suddenly extremely grateful that she knew exactly who her frontrunner was. Fuck, I hope that doesn't change… It was still early in filming, and anything could theoretically change, but how the hell would she handle that? Say she learnt that James wasn't ready to settle down right now, or realized that Lily was far too boring for him and moved on… could she? She'd determined earlier it was James or bust, but would she just leave the show at the same time as him? Call it quits and drag herself away with her pride and dignity absolutely shattered?

Had that ever happened before? Had the person the lead wanted ever decided they didn't love them back near the end of filming and left the lead scrambling? She couldn't see why not — love was unrequited every day. Being The Bachelorette didn't make her immune to heartbreaking rejection. So what then? Would she be pressured by production to pick someone else? To settle for her runner-up?

Was that any way to find a life partner?!

How the fuck would she sit on the couch with her future fiancé, or at the very least her boyfriend, and watch the replays of she and James rubbing each other down in mud? Of him carrying her like a goddamn hero? Of their flirty banter or their magical, dancing kiss? The footage they already had of them probably showed just how infatuated she was with James, and no other man could miss that. Lily felt like her heart would bleed and there'd be no way on earth that guy, that poor runner-up, wouldn't feel it in his very bones that Lily had wanted to be with someone else more. Unless he's a very understanding lad. Lily snorted. Yeah fucking right.

But it's too early to think of future fiancés, Lily reminded herself. For fuck's sake, she and James had just established that they both even liked each other with that super hot make-out session in her room. Figuring out if they were fit to be married was a whole other obstacle to tackle down the line. You just had your first bloody date!

Truly, shame on the show. At the end of the day, they had known what they were destroying when they played the footage of that past Bachelorette sleeping with another man: absolutely any chance she had of staying with the guy she'd chosen. They had probably built her up, encouraged her to explore her options and get with as many men as possible, only to cut her down to size for actually going through with it.

Lily was starting to see how this whole thing worked, and it sure wasn't pretty.

"Got it. Always make sure I'm not still wearing my mic pack before clandestine rendezvous."

"And he's not."

"Will have to get him naked every time."

"Bummer," Mary teased with a grin. "So it was a good kiss I take it?"

"Mary," Lily replied, sinking into her chair dramatically. "He had me pinned against the wall—"

"Ugh, I love it when they do that!"

"Right?" Lily smiled at the memory, staring off at said wall. "And now I just wanna do it again."

Mary snorted. "Okay, well that answers my next question. Neutral color lip stain it is."

James

He hoped she arrived soon. They'd been held at this 'cocktail party' for two hours already, but the star of the show had yet to make an appearance. James really hoped she was all right. He was dying to talk to her not only about everything that was happening between them, but everything he was starting to gather she was dealing with behind the scenes. Maybe you can ask Sirius what all is going on. He might know. He couldn't describe it, but he had this aching feeling like something terrible was on the verge of happening.

James was also tired as shit. He'd had to inform Remus of (okay fine, forced him to listen to) his entire date recap, and then gotten himself so excited that it had been hard to fall asleep. It was a weird combination to be falling in love whilst at the same time being so nervous about the whole situation. This show had all the elements of being romantic as fuck, while somehow also trying to suck all the sincerity out of everything.

To make matters worse, Michael was in top form tonight. Not only had he not stopped complaining about 'dangerous iguanas' destroying the sanctity of their bubble, but when he showed up to the cocktail party, James immediately noticed that he was wearing his scarf. James had had no problems lending out or swapping his clothes with the other suitors before — some of which had never thought they'd make it this far (or in Remus' case, had never owned this many fancy shirts) — but he would never in a million years offer anyone that particular scarf. It had been his mother's last gift to him, and James had only packed it because he took it everywhere with him. Call him superstitious, but as far as he was concerned, the garment had magical powers. And now he saw his most prized possession tied around the neck of his nemesis. How the fuck did he get it!? And more importantly, how was James supposed to get it back? James was seriously considering acquiring a lock for his bag if production was going to let other contestants riffle all willy-nilly through each other's stuff like this.

"Where'd you get that?" James had asked Michael through clenched teeth, trying to hide his anger. He knew the more he showed how much the scarf meant to him, the less likely it was that Michael would give it back. He was psychotic like that.

Michael snorted. "This old thing?" James wanted to lunge at him when his unworthy fingers tugged on the fabric. "What's the big deal? It's just a scarf." He sneered at James, seeing his anger rising. "What? Do you want me to credit you? Are you scared you're going to lose out on a sponsorship deal if I don't?"

Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Don't punch him. "Just quit stealing my shit, okay?" James walked away and decided he'd get it back when all the cameras weren't following him around, waiting for him to blow.

"Calm down, Potter. I'm rich. I couldn't be steal something if I tried."

What the fuck? That doesn't even make sense! "Do you even believe half the shit you say?" James asked exasperatedly.

He hadn't expected Michael to answer him honestly, but what was the git good for if not to keep him on his toes. "No. But if I can make other people believe it… then what's it matter? I win."

That's it. Never trusting a lawyer again. James guessed Michael was in his villain era where he fully embraced his own depravity, having gotten away with it for so long that he truly believed he was above reproach.

But it turned out that James wasn't the only guy there that night who was mad at Grift for being a kleptomaniac. Somehow, word had gotten to Tom that Michael had stolen his poem and read it to Lily first, completely destroying the camaraderie the two men had formerly shared.

James had watched from the couch, morbidly fascinated and so happy to not be at the center of the drama, when Tom had yelled, "What the fuck, bro? You plagiarized my poem?" It was just such a unique and unexpected line to come out of a meathead's mouth. "You know how hard I worked on that!"

"It's not like you actually stand a chance of winning, Tom!" Michael had replied, somehow not seeing just how vile his logic was. "I do. So what if I used a line of yours here and there. Think of it this way: no one would have cared if you'd read it. That footage will never get aired. At least with me reciting it to her, your poem actually gets out there! It has an audience!"

Wow. Just wow. The mental gymnastics this guy had to do to pretend like he was the good guy would never stop fascinating James. Michael Grift should be studied for his truly groundbreaking level of narcissism.

James could totally see how he'd inherited his dad's penchant for stealing from littler artists and passing their work off as Primark's own without payment or credit to try to get ahead. And all because they can. Who would ever believe the struggling artist who claimed they'd been copied? James could just imagine Primark's lawyers laughing in their faces if they ever asked for compensation for their work. 'Why don't you sue us? See what happens,' they'd probably say, knowing their millions would absolutely trounce any possibility of a fair trial.

James really fucking hated people who took advantage of others.

"I'm gonna take a bloody nap," he grumbled to Remus as he made himself comfortable on the edge of the couch. The argument between Tom and Michael was only getting more and more heated, and it looked as though a few of the other men were starting to get involved.

"Good idea," Remus sighed, looking as unperturbed as he was uninvolved in the blossoming fight.

Smart man, James thought as he closed his eyes. His friend was a smart man.

Lily

Lily arrived on location a little late due to what she was told were some unforeseen technical issues and was ushered to video village right away so her suitors wouldn't see her. She smiled awkwardly to some of the faces of crew members she'd only ever seen in passing, even though she was becoming more and more aware of just how much they held her future in the palm of their hands. "Hello," she said with a wave.

No one acknowledged her back. It was such a cold feeling to be so completely ignored. Sure, people could say that sort of stuff didn't matter, and that they didn't need anyone to like them, but at the end of the day, that sort of icing out could cut you to your core. Humans were social creatures.

Instead of dwelling on the snub, Lily looked to the screens they had set up, all showing a different camera's live feed. Of course, she found James right away, displayed on the left bottom monitor, napping on a couch next to Remus. She smiled to herself, feeling her insides warming back up and wondering if his roommate's sleepiness was rubbing off on him. We were out pretty late last night… perhaps she had tired the poor boy out. She really hoped this footage made it to this episode's final cut, because he was just so dang cute while he slept. She would love to pause the show right there — understanding lad of a fiancé permitting.

She was happy James was staying out of the drama.

Her lovey-dovey feelings were short-lived however, when she heard someone say, "Go for Sirius," and realized they had yet to make the announcement that the cocktail party had been cancelled. Had all her men just been waiting for her? She thought that was pretty rude considering some of the guys may have been holding out hope to still get one more conversation in before she cut someone. There were obviously a handful of connections that were having a hard time getting off the ground, and she was sure those guys knew they were on the chopping block.

Not that it matters. I know who's going home. And not a moment too soon.

As soon as the men had been gathered on the rafters for the rose ceremony, Lily stepped out, taking her spot next to a pedestal laden with six roses. "Tom, Remus, James: as you received roses on your dates, you are safe for this elimination." Lily's heart sank with Sirius' announcement, remembering that since James already had a rose, he wouldn't be able to walk up to her to receive a new one. No new rose meant no new hug. Boo. "For the rest of you gentlemen… good luck."

Lily's gaze caught with James' for a split second, and she suppressed the shiver that wanted to work its way down her spine as she looked away. There was a time and a place for eye-fucking, and surrounded by everyone was most definitely not it. Let's get this over with.

She called out the men's names, each sagging with relief before walking up to accept her rose until there was only Ben and Michael left. Lily noticed the latter didn't look nervous in the slightest. Arrogant bastard.

"Ben," she announced, happy when the awkward man finally looked like he could breathe. "Ben, will you accept this rose?"

"Yes!"

Lily laughed.

"Are you joking me?" Michael hissed, rooted to the spot as Lily's rejection washed over him. Normally when the other men realized who was being sent home, they'd come together and wish him farewell, doling out condolences and half hugs. Lily noticed not a single man moved to say goodbye to him. Was it in fear? Or because he had burned every bridge in the house?

Sirius strolled over to her, clapping his hands together in fake contrition. "Michael. Lily has not chosen you." Okay, relax there, buddy. No need to rub it in, Lily chuckled in her head. "Take a moment, say your goodbyes."

Michael scoffed, looking around the room as if he thought someone else would pop up and say, 'Just kidding!' It ruffled Lily's feathers that he hadn't looked at her to see if she was kidding. He scoffed again before saying a shellshocked, "Wow. I see how it is."

"Can I walk you out?" Lily said, not knowing how else to get the ball rolling. She regretted it immediately knowing she'd now have to follow through, but honestly she'd sort of just panicked. She didn't know if Michael would leave unless she gently nudged him along.

From the corner of her eye, she saw James stiffen. Perhaps he thought it was a terrible idea too.

Just get it over with…

Michael seemed slightly appeased that he was at least getting his own personal send off and followed Lily out of the building to where a black SUV waited to bring him to the airport. It reminded Lily of how Sirius was about to announce where they were all headed to next, and she couldn't wait to find out.

"I've got to say, I thought you were smarter than this, Lily."

Lily grit her teeth as Michael's insult washed over her. "How so?" she bit out, figuring that if he got his chance to give whatever rehearsed speech he had planned, he'd leave.

"Well, I thought you would be able to see when a man is clearly manipulating you for his own selfish gain."

Projection. Projection! Everything this man had ever said was so obviously projection. Suddenly Lily wondered if he had a secret girlfriend waiting for him back home as well. "Michael," she asked suddenly. "Do you even run a children's charity?" The more she'd thought about it, the more she realized that Michael had probably seen one of James' crowning achievements and tried to claim it as his own.

"Of course I do," he sputtered.

"What's it called?"

There was an awkward, awkward pause. "Why does that matter now?"

Lily groaned, rubbing her temples. She was so ashamed she had let this guy get away with all his lies for as long as he had. It was like she'd told James earlier, she really did consider herself to be a kind person, and it was something she worked on a lot and prided herself on. Anyone could be snappy. Anyone could be mean and annoyed and assume everyone was a jerk. Sure, sometimes that was a very valid defense, but it took a lot of hard work and patience to try to find the best in people and meet them with kindness. Her only problem had always been that Lily had a ridiculously low tolerance for bullshit. Obviously, this had landed her in quite a lot of sticky situations in her life that sometimes ended with people — mostly men — screaming at her that she was a bitch. It turned out that the one thing that really irked bullshiters was being called out on their bullshit. (Who knew?) Lily knew that didn't make her a bitch — it just meant that some weak asshole had just realized they couldn't bend her kindness to their will and was now pissed about it. If Lily saw someone cheating or lying, she'd always been more than brave enough to call that idiot out.

Lily knew that most people claimed that they liked an independent, strong woman — in theory. But in practice? A lot of people couldn't handle her, and would do everything in their power to try to knock her down into submission.

"Michael, I know you stole Tom's poem. I now know you lied about running a charity. I know you probably lied about Tyler having a girlfriend and that you definitely lied about James harassing you because you've been trying to get him kicked out this whole time." She kept her voice even, but her eyes blazed with fury.

Michael's lip peeled back as he snarled and Lily felt like she was finally seeing the real him for the first time. "I'm a good person, Lily," he spat. Lily had never liked the sound of her name less. "You're allowed to expose and hurt bad people. That's how it works."

Lily wanted to scream. "That just sounds like you want an excuse to be an arsehole while still pretending to be in the right." This wasn't like the vigilante justice she'd seen at school where the bullied kids rose up against their tormenter and gave them a taste of their own medicine. Tom, Tyler, and James had never done anything to Michael. The bully had just gone out of his way to punish them for the crime of existing — for having the audacity to go against his way of thinking. Tom had dared to write something original. Tyler had dared not to fall in line with everything Michael had told him to do. James had… stirred up his jealousy? Lily supposed that she didn't really know how their particular beef had originated.

Michael really didn't like that. "Prove it."

Lily smirked. "I don't have to." She motioned to the car. "Goodbye."

Michael scoffed as his eyes dipped down Lily's body lecherously. "You're not even that hot anyway."

How original: reducing a woman's entire worth to her looks.

"I think she told you to go." Lily nearly jumped when James' voice, tranquil like the eye of a storm, sounded over her shoulder. He walked up next to her, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Lily had the feeling they were balled into fists.

"Potter," Michael sneered. "You're probably so proud of yourself, aren't you?" He took a step towards James, getting in his face. "Well you can have the bitch. I never really wanted her anyway."

Wow. What a tough guy.

Lily watched as a muscle in James' jaw twitched madly as he clenched his teeth, but he didn't move the rest of his body at all. Is it wrong to find that level of restraint so hot? Lily was pretty sure if Michael had gotten into her face like that, she would have slapped him.

"Well, that's because you have shite taste."

The sick smirk on Michael's face slowly slipped off as he realized he wasn't going to get the rise out of James that he so clearly desired. Perhaps he'd wanted one last dramatic example of just how dangerous and unhinged James was and had been trying to push him over the edge. Maybe he wanted a big, fat lawsuit in the form of a punch, or more attention, or who knew what. Whatever his motivation was, it looked like James was no longer down to play. "You'll never be a footballer again, Potter," Michael said viciously, clearly still trying to find James' weak spot. "You're about to be some washed up former sports star with some commoner wife and—"

James' whole countenance changed as he leaned forward, taunting Michael right back as he cut him off. It was times like these when Lily was really reminded of just how tall her boyfriend was. "Michael, Michael, Michael," he sighed. "This is the last time Lily and I ever have to look at your ugly face. But you? We'll be living rent free in your head for the rest of your life. Every time you turn on the TV and see a commercial for Lily's show or see me play. Every time you open a magazine and see one of our ads. Every day when you toss and turn and miserably ponder how you could have tried to sabotage us better — and yet… we'll still be out there. Thriving."

Oh fuck. Yeah, Lily was definitely turned on now. James hadn't laid a finger on the douche, and yet, it still felt like he'd laid him out straight onto his arse.

James unexpectedly leaned into Lily's side, and this time, she hadn't been able to suppress her shiver when his breath hit her shoulder. He whispered, "Can you grab the scarf he's wearing? It's mine from my mum."

His words took a second to register, but once they did, Lily saw red. Of course James didn't want to touch the dude out of fear of him crying wolf, but he'd stolen his mother's…! Never mind, Lily told her rage before grabbing the scarf and yanking it off of Michael's neck despite his pathetic yelp.

She handed it back to James and turned around, absolutely done with Michael. Security could stuff him into the car for all she cared. "Let's go find out where we're headed to next, shall we?"

James smiled as he carefully folded his scarf and pocketed it, following Lily back inside. "Gladly."

Was it bad that Michael's cry of anger behind them brought her nothing but pure joy? Lily was a little worried what this show was doing to her spirit.

"James, what are you doing here?" Lily cried out in an excited whisper as she opened her hotel door wider to let him in. She hadn't believed her ears when she heard a gentle knock, so pissed off that someone was disturbing her sacred few moments of alone time now that she was finally done filming for the night. She was afraid that it would be Petra, telling her she had to record just one more ITM interview. The elimination ceremony and Michael's exit had completely drained her, and honestly, she just wanted to touch herself and go to sleep. Ever since James had pushed her up against a wall the night before, she hadn't been able to think of nearly anything else, and she just wanted to fantasize what would have happened, right here in this room, if they hadn't been interrupted.

Obviously, her annoyance had been short lived when she'd looked through the peephole to see James in grey joggers and a blue henley, one hand buried nervously in his hair, hoping he wasn't about to get caught. After yanking him inside, Lily poked her head out into the hallway, ensuring that he hadn't been followed by any camera crews, before closing the door quickly and bolting it shut. She patted her midriff down for good measure, unequivocally making sure that she had been properly unmic'd.

Before she knew it, Lily was spun around and pushed against the wood, James' body hard and unforgiving as his lips sought the sweet haven of hers. If this was his go-to move — she was so down. "I missed you," he murmured between kisses, his hands clutching at her jaw.

Her own fingers came up to cling to his wrists, tilting her head back to give his mouth more unfettered access to hers. "You just saw me," she replied breathlessly. How could he have forgotten? Lily was pretty sure the calm and controlled way he'd just taken Michael down would forever be seared into her very DNA. They'd felt like such a unit, an unbreakable team. Lily couldn't even begin to describe just how much that had bolstered her hopes of this whole process succeeding… and her mood.

When one of James' hands drifted down to her hip to pull her body more closely against his, Lily was reminded how unglamorously she was dressed: in an oversized teeshirt and pajama shorts. Just like the first time he'd snuck into her room (again, something she hoped she'd be getting used to) it was as though he hadn't even noticed. "It's never enough with you." Lily tried to hold in a soft moan as his lips strayed over her chin, dipping down to lavish the side of her throat. "I always want more." The warm air of his breath, the lick of possessiveness tinging his voice, it was all so indescribably hot.

"Then take it," Lily sighed, knocking her head back a bit too forcefully against the door as she ran her fingers through his hair, gripping him against her neck. "Take me."

James grunted as he bent down to grab her thighs, no longer content with their height difference and trying to even the playing field. Lily got the hint and hooked her ankles around his back as he propped her up against the wall. "You are so fucking sexy," he groaned, right before taking over her mouth with his once more.

He tasted like mint and sin. She bucked her hips against him, trying to take this snog one step further than their last one by getting their groins involved, begging his body to partake in this heavenly friction they could build. His tongue was doing wicked things against hers, and she whimpered as she felt herself getting wetter and wetter for him. "Bed," she all but panted when they finally came up for air. Sure, the door was thick and probably blocked out most sound, but she still didn't want to be anywhere near it when things inevitably progressed. Why tempt fate like that?

"What?" James asked confused, his glasses sitting fully sideways across his nose, his cheeks a wonderful rosy hue. Was he blushing?

"Bed," Lily repeated with another tiny thrust of her hips, trying to get the message across to his erection, which she could feel just below her bum, if not his brain. Had he really just been content to recreate their make-out session from their date and expected nothing more?

James seemed to be malfunctioning. "I just— I didn't—" Lily knew that if he hadn't been holding her up against the door, one of his hands would be running through his hair right now — again. "I just wanted to check on you. There's been a lot going on these past few days… and I wanted to make sure you were all right. I didn't come here too…" he trailed off meaningfully.

Oh. Oh. Well, that was adorable. But he was definitely coming here now. She smiled at his sweetness as she scratched the back of his scalp for him. His eyes immediately fluttered with the soothing touch. "Would you like to though?" she asked, all her nerves somehow thrown out the window in the presence of his.

James' eyes snapped wide open. "Yes. Yes, I would—" Lily giggled, "—but you're… you're sure?"

Lily adjusted her hands onto his shoulders so she could dismount him and take a hold of one of his hands, leading him to the bed. "So, so very sure, James."

His grin became lopsided as he was finally able to thread his free fingers through his hair. "I swear I didn't come here for this. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Tonight was… a lot."

Lily smirked as she sat on the edge of the bed facing him, ready to tease him as she interlocked their hands, if only for a brief moment. She no longer wanted to ruminate on all the drama. She wanted to enjoy this. Enjoy him. Had they not earned this basic pleasure? "Uh huh."

"I solemnly swear."

"Whatever you say, lover boy," Lily taunted as she started to push his shirt up his torso. James got the hint and did the rest for her.

Ho-ly shit. Lily felt her jaw dropping even as she smiled her biggest smile yet, perfectly eye level with abs on abs on abs. "Are you serious? Like, are you fucking kidding me?"

"Lily," he chuckled, looking down at the carpet uncharacteristically bashful, "you've already seen me shirtless. Like probably more than you've seen me clothed. Remember? You joked about it and everything?"

It was true. (Although, who could blame Lily for losing all reasonable thinking abilities when confronted with this.) She had seen him, so many times now, but every time before she'd cruelly been on camera, utterly aware of how thirsty she'd look if she stared for longer than a second. (It had hardly stopped her, but the effort had been there. An attempt had been made.) She'd had to act the hardest in her life like this wasn't what she wanted to spend the rest of the show, hell her life, lovingly worshipping. His body was a bloody gift from the gods. "And yet it never gets old," she said wistfully, before returning to the serious work of admiring the crap out of his almost inhumanly perfect body chiseled by a decade of daily practices. "For fuck's sake…" she said to herself. "It's like you aren't even real." She threw her hands up in front of her. "That's it. Get out of here, I'm done."

James raised a brow, clearly amused with her antics. "Lily."

"I feel like I can't even touch you," she said, only half kidding.

James' mouth snapped shut, eyes going wide. "Wait— what? Why?"

She grinned at his reaction. He really did want this just as badly as she did. "You should be in a museum. Guarded by plexiglass or something," she explained.

"Well… that doesn't sound even remotely fun," James replied, playing along.

"I know," Lily sighed. "But… it's probably safest."

James tilted his head and, damnit, of course a curl fell gracefully over his forehead. "For you or for me?"

"Both. Definitely both."

James held Lily's gaze for a few seconds, a smirk lighting up his lips. "Maybe I don't want to play it safe anymore." It was funny he said that, because the timber of his voice sounded like one of the most dangerous things she'd ever heard.

He's always so damn smooth. No longer overthinking it, Lily reached out her hand, her thumb grazing up the deep middle grove of his muscles, intent to just trace the hard lines of his body for a couple more minutes (hours). "Let me have this," she whispered.

With a gentle forefinger and thumb, he tilted her chin up to meet his tender gaze. "Whatever you want, love. It's yours."

Lily felt her heart melting into a puddle all the way on the floor. "Promise?"

He leant down to meet her lips for a sweet kiss, smiling when Lily kept her eyes closed for a beat afterwards. "Promise."

She smirked deviously when she finally looked back up at him. "Perfect. I want you to take off your pants."

"Lily!" he laughed, straightening back up and placing both hands on the hemline of his joggers. "Why must you insist on ruining all our romantic moments?"

"What romantic moments have I ruined?" Lily tried to argue.

"Not maintaining eye contact at The Fat Lady's hut, for one."

Lily signed, rolling her eyes. That hardly counted. "I dunno, it's a curse," Lily teased, snapping her fingers and pointing down. "Now pants." With a matching roll of his eyes, James obliged her, wiping her face completely clean of her mirth with the quick motion. He really wasn't shy.

"Oh my god," Lily finally declared. It was official, the man was built flawlessly… all over. She'd had a suspicion that he was well endowed from their photoshoot group date, having felt all of him growing hard against her inner thigh, but still… damn. "That's not even right."

"Lily…" James said warningly, knowing where her jokes were headed.

"I'm like, almost mad at you for being this genetically blessed."

"Lily…"

"No, I'm serious," Lily finally cracked her composure, giggling as James gently tackled her onto her back across the bed. She hadn't felt this giddy for the entirety of filming. This felt so nice. This felt like a normal relationship. "You shouldn't even exist. It's a crime against humanity!" Her laughter got louder as James' fingers tickled across her ribcage over her shirt.

"Says the woman witty, charming, and smart enough to headline her own television show," James said, his face buried in her hair beside her.

She jerked to face him, her laughter subsiding. "What, you don't think I'm pretty too?"

"Shut up, you," James replied.

"Make me," Lily purred licking her lips. James accepted her challenge, rolling over her as he kissed her roughly, his hand sneaking up to stroke the smooth skin of her side. Lily's impatience got the better of her and she pulled back so she could shuck her shirt off too, leaving her topless beneath him.

It was James' turn to stare. "Evans…" he said reverently. She couldn't believe the first time he'd seen her tit had been during a wardrobe malfunction back at the mansion. That felt like an entire lifetime ago. "I don't ever want to hear a damn word about my looks again. Do you hear me?"

Stupid boy and his stupid way with words. Lily sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, basking in the way his eyes roved over every new centimeter of skin she was baring for him. Sure, her tits had popped out, but he had been too courteous to look then, but not now. Now he looked like a man possessed, consumed by a thirst that Lily so deeply could relate to.

This was it, this was her. She could be confident all she wanted, but she still needed him to want her just as badly as she did him. Would he? Lily had never felt like the stakes had been higher during a hookup, possibly because she'd never experienced this exact mix of emotions while dealing with this intense amount of pressure. It was becoming too much, her feelings for him, the scrutiny of the show — and she sort of just wanted to turn it all off. To give her mind a break and just feel him. Was that so wrong?

Slowly, he lowered his face to her right breast, and locked eyes with her just before he brought her nipple into his mouth. Lily moaned as she arched her back into him, relishing in this feeling of intimacy she'd been lacking for so long. She felt her core tightening, begging her to just fuck this guy already, like she had wanted to for weeks now, but James seemed more than happy to explore her chest, kneading her free breast gently as he positively lavished the other.

"James—" his name slipped out of her lips as she writhed beneath him.

The very little she could still see of his irises turned molten with desire as he pulled back slightly. "Say that again." Oh, he did want her — just as damn much. Lily felt a pleasured thrill shoot up right between her legs.

She'd stroke his ego as much as he wanted her to as long as he never stopped doing what he was doing to her body. "James, please," she begged. It was so easy giving in to the demands of a man that was really shaping up to be so fucking perfect. Not only was whimpering for him turning herself on, but just the idea of making him happy was doing things to her. This man, who had every opportunity in the world to be a self-centered, entitled, super star prick, but instead wasn't and chose to be a caring and loyal and genuine individual, wanted something so basic from her, so why the fuck wouldn't she oblige? Why wouldn't she want to turn him on? Just the thought of him getting off to her was enough to make Lily's cunt clench around nothing.

His tongue leisurely licked her pebbled nipple, eliciting a fresh moan from her. "What do you want, Lily?"

She swallowed thickly, watching his every move. "Just… just keep touching me, kissing me—"

"Like this?" he asked, kissing the sensitive underside of her breast.

"Yes," she whimpered.

"Like this?" James grazed his teeth along her lowest rib, moving his own body lower down hers.

She loved where this was heading. She merely nodded as she hungrily tracked his progress. With a flat tongue, he licked the delicate skin of her hipbone, teasing the edge of her knickers that were peeking out from under her shorts. Lily felt her cunt clench harder as she curled her toes.

"Want me to kiss here?" He looked so smug as he took off his glasses and placed them beside her on the bed. All Lily could do was continue to nod her head dumbly in anticipation. James smiled. "Then scoot up, love." She obeyed and was immediately rewarded when he gripped the hem of her shorts, and pulled them down along with her panties, before settling comfortably between her legs. "Tell me if this feels good," he whispered right before giving Lily a testing lick straight up her slit.

Lily was pretty sure he could have just blown air down there and she would have been happy simply watching his face bobbing around between her thighs. But instead, he was now licking and sucking on her clit, looking as though he was the one being pleasured, and she was ready to fully give in to the feeling and lose it. Lily sunk her head backwards into the mattress as she moaned, before she got mad at herself for missing her new favorite sight in the world and craned back up to see.

"Good?" he teased, bringing two fingers up to his lips, and wetting them in his mouth.

"Yes, yes," Lily panted.

"You were supposed to tell me that," James continued, completely unnecessarily she might add, as he swiped his tongue over his plump lips.

"It feels good, it feels so incredibly good, you wanker, please—"

James chuckled at Lily's frustration but understood her impatience and slipped a finger inside of her, watching her face as it came undone with the sensation. "Fuck," she breathed, clutching the sheets when he added a second digit and started pumping in and out of her.

James kissed the inside of her thigh as his thumb stroked her clit in firm circles. "I'm the luckiest bloke in the world," he muttered into her skin.

"James…" she whimpered after a few intense minutes when she felt ripples start to spread out from between her legs. It looked as if Lily's utterance of his name in that honeyed tone caused him physical pain. "Please, I want to come with you inside of me."

"I am inside of you," the arsehole joked. She hoped the look she was giving him was withering, but she was afraid it probably looked a tad too 'on the verge of exploding' and 'holy fuck, this feels so incredible that I might just perish' to be taken seriously. "I won't last long, love, it's been a while. I need you to be close." She supposed that if it had been hard for her to masturbate these past few weeks, it was even harder for him when he was always sharing spaces with handfuls of men.

"I am. I am," Lily pleaded, emphasizing her truth by patting his shoulder as though she was tapping out. "Please, come up here with me."

James did so, climbing up and over her and kissing her soundly. His groan reverberated in the back of his throat when Lily reached between them and touched his cock for the first time, spreading some of the precum over his delicate skin. "Fuck," James groaned as he pulled back, his eyes screwed tightly shut. The expletive that followed was less pleasured and much more pained. "I don't have a condom."

Production didn't supply her with any until Fantasy Suites week either. "I have an IUD, we're good," Lily whispered eagerly, past the point of caring about any obstacle that dared to get in the way of what was clearly about to happen. She knew she should probably be more careful, but they had all been tested for STIs before the show. Also, she was about to fuck James Potter — all logic was allowed to fly out the window, please and thank you.

"Thank fuck," James breathed before he gently kissed the tip of her nose, slowing down the moment. His body might have been screaming go, go, go, but his face was reading her like a book right now, making sure he got every last word correct. His eyes crinkled at the edges as he looked down upon her, asking, "You're sure about this?"

"Fucking hell, James," Lily grumbled exasperatedly as she squeezed his cock once more and lined him up on top of her.

"A simple yes would have sufficed."

Before Lily had time to sass him back, James pushed himself into her slowly, making Lily's eyes roll back and her hands jump to his back, clutching at his wide shoulders. "Fucccckkkk," she moaned.

He stilled inside of her for a brief moment, feathering kisses across her cheeks and eyelids. "You feel so good, Lily," he breathed. "So, so fucking good. Too good, shit."

She pulsed her cunt around his cock, glad all her experiments with kegels must have paid off when he hissed and buried his face into the crook of her neck. "How bout now?" she taunted.

His cock twitched inside of her in return. "Minx," he said before nipping at her throat.

Her victory was short lived however when he started thrusting into her gently, establishing a slow rhythm that was sure to make Lily lose her mind.

"Is this good for you?" James panted, sounding like he was having a hard time staying on this realm with her.

She understood the struggle: every move of his body, every stroke of his cock inside of her was untethering her from reality just as badly. She felt drunk and untamable, and she loved every second. "Yeah," she whined, searching for his mouth to kiss. He happily allowed it, gently biting her lower lip as his hips kept working away below him and her nails dug deeper into his delicious shoulders.

She adored the feel of him surrounding her, his arms around her holding most of his weight off of her, but his chest still on top of hers felt like a weighted blanket, keeping her safe and warm. It felt like they were playing love songs — no making love songs — half of them still unwritten, half of them blasting through her eardrums with just how loudly her heart was strumming along to them, wanting to blare the music for him to hear with her. Or make into a duet with me? Who the hell knew how her analogies worked.

Lily couldn't believe she'd actually found someone she fancied on this godforsaken show. She couldn't believe she was currently fucking someone on this show — well, not on it, but from it. Lily wrapped her legs tighter around his hips, interlocking her ankles to pull James deeper inside of her, loving the way it made him moan, his body tensing and straining with the effort of holding himself back for her, trying to prolong this moment so that she could come first. "Fuck, Lily…"

She wanted to hear James groan like this more. She wanted to go to bed with the sound, and wake up with his sweet kisses that devolved into giggles and then more groans. She wanted it all. She would never in a million years have thought that The Bachelorette, with its rushed timeline and outlandish dates, would work, but it had shown her options… and it had given her James.

While he was there, kissing her, making love to her, Lily suddenly knew that she was so much deeper in this with him than she'd realized. This wasn't falling for him. This wasn't the beginning of a love story. This was being there, at that damn destination, without fully knowing where on the fucking map he even was. He liked her, she knew he liked her, but was it enough? Could they logistically work in the outside world? Did he want to marry her?!

They'd only even been on one real date for fuck's sake! In the grand scheme of things, they still had barely talked about any of the real issues that affected their compatibility.

Fuck. She should not have slept with him so soon. She'd laid all her cards on the table and essentially just completely written off all of her other men. She wasn't wired like that previous Bachelorette — even if Lily knew the woman hadn't done anything wrong her season. Lily just knew that her heart would never be able to recover from having been gifted James like this, because she wasn't sure what this shag meant to him, but to her it was everything. There would be no patching her heart up, no trying to regift it — it was a one and done situation. Lily had never been built for casual sex. She knew she fell hard like this — it had been exactly the reason why she'd been fighting her feelings for James so ardently in the first place! This is what she had been trying to avoid!

Game over. Lily swore she could hear the sound of a video game ending after the player had bit the dust. She was losing her mind.

He must have felt her realization as it stiffened her body. "Lily?" he asked quietly, drawing his face back to look at her. "You all right?"

The concern etched into his every feature almost broke her heart. He's there too, look at him — trust him. But Lily couldn't help that small bubble of doubt telling her she was still being an idiot. Sure, he had told her that he'd only done the show because his manager had forced him, but he still liked her. Keep telling yourself that… keep telling yourself that… He had admitted that and she believed him. A smaller man might have taken a secret like that to the grave, but Lily was starting to see exactly the type of honorable and trustworthy man that James was. (Hence the falling in love problem…)

However, it still meant that coming on the show had not been James' choice. It still meant that maybe James had no interest in getting married now — hell, maybe even ever, maybe he just wanted to be a dad and have a baby mama or two — and while that would be a crushing blow, it would still absolutely be his decision to make. Lily had heard of a footballer who was so against the concept of marriage that after he had been recruited to play in Saudi Arabia, he had gotten special permission to break the law to live with his girlfriend. This guy had rather subverted a hundreds of years old law than proposed to a woman he claimed to love. What if James was like that?

Lily knew that her other guys were ready for commitment because they had consciously and purposefully shown up to filming with the intention of getting married to her at the end of all of this. Was she self-sabotaging by only having eyes for the guy who might not want the same? What if he'd asked her if she was sure if she wanted to have sex so many times because he knew intimacy, or even this whole process, meant more to her than him? He might only be looking for a girlfriend or a summer fling to have a good time with, and she'd just given it to him on a silver platter, bows, whistles, and pussy included, and… Shut up, shut up, shut up! she tried telling her anxiety to no avail. You don't know that. Just ask him! Talk to him. Let him in.

Lily was looking for her forever person. She was supposed to keep her options open, but this right here? This was it. If it wasn't James — it wasn't anyone.

Fuck. She'd completely screwed herself over.

He brought his fingers up to her face and cupped her cheek. "What's going on? What just happened?"

Just before she could answer, there was a pounding at the door that made them both jolt. "Fuck!" she exclaimed in a perturbed whisper as she pushed his chest up. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, I gotta get that." The story Mary had told her flooded her mind. Had they been too loud? Was production onto them? She'd told herself that they'd been careful, but in reality, they'd really been acting on their hormones, so who knew how vocal they'd gotten. She couldn't believe this was something she had to even think about.

James dutifully got off of her and rolled onto the other side of the bed, grabbing his glasses and looking at her panicked.

"Well, don't just lie there, hide!" Lily hissed, groping around the sheets for the white bathrobe she knew was tangled somewhere in there.

"Uh, where?!" James asked looking around. If the situation wasn't so dire, Lily would have laughed when he leaned over the edge of the mattress and looked under it, his arse in the air. "The bed frame is flush against the ground," he declared.

"Closet, closet," she whispered frantically as she hopped to her feet and tied the drawstring of her robe closed around her stomach tightly.

"Really?" James questioned with a raised eyebrow. "You want me to hide in the—"

Another thunderous rapping on the door made them both jump. "YES," Lily mouthed back as she pulled James by the arm off the bed and pushed him behind the mirrored rolling door herself.

"Lily—" James began, giving her a look.

"Sh, please, James, just be quiet!" When his incredulous stare didn't dissipate, she hastily stood on her tippy toes and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I'm sorry." With that, she slid the door shut in front of him, tried to make sure her hair wasn't too much of a mess (it was a lost cause), and rushed to the door, cracking it open. "Yes?" she tried asking as nonchalantly as she could.

Petra was standing right outside. "Everything okay in there? I thought I just heard moaning."

Wow, okay, so we're cutting right to the chase. What the fuck do I say? Denial seemed pointless, so a little white lie would have to cover it. "Jeez, Petra, is masturbating not allowed between takes now?" Lily hoped her embarrassment of being caught having sex was translating perfectly into humiliation at having to admit to flicking her bean. It wasn't really right for a thirty year-old woman to feel this ashamed of having just performed an act so natural.

Petra smirked. "Well, you must have some pretty talented fingers." Lily hated that Petra knew that Lily didn't have a vibrator on her anymore.

"Well, I've had years of practice," Lily tried brushing her off, leaning heavily against the door. "Can I help you?" She knew she was probably coming off as a bit testy, but she did think that the situation called for it. She couldn't believe she'd just had to cut her first time sexing James short because of her damn producer knocking on her door. And I asked him to hide in the closet like we're still in school…

"Yeah," Petra said raising an eyebrow. "One of the guys reported that James is missing. We're trying to locate him."

Lily squashed her initial reaction of yelling out, "Who told you that?" so she could send that snitch packing faster than he could say, 'football superstar,' but she supposed that would look a tad suspicious. "Oh?" She hated knowing her face was giving her away.

"Yeah," Petra repeated, eyes narrowing as she studied Lily's every move. "You seen him?"

Fuck, she knows. Petra one hundred percent knew that James was in her room at this very moment and that they'd been doing something that warranted lewd moans of pleasure and — FUCK. How the hell was she going to get out of this one? And even if she did, how on earth would they ever be able to sneak around again? If Petra was onto them, she'd never let the two of them out of her sight again! "No," Lily muttered, trying to keep her lies simple.

There was a long, significant pause. "Can I come in?" Petra pushed.

James might be in her closet, but Lily realized his clothes were still strewn across the floor. "Actually, I'm really tired and was just about to slip into the shower…"

Another pause. Another terrible moment that Lily knew she was doomed. "Okay. Well, I'll let you know if we find him…" Petra trailed off, the two women still caught in a stare off.

"Thank you," Lily replied meekly, getting ready to close the door. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," the other woman replied, right before Lily shut her out and leaned her forehead against the wood.

"Fuck!" she hissed. However, right afterwards, she heard the crunchy noise of a walkie-talkie being switched on, and she could have sworn she heard Petra requesting for cameras to make it up to her floor. Lily froze, all her limbs suddenly tingling in fight or flight mode. No, no, no, she wouldn't frame me like that, not like this… no.But in her heart, Lily knew Petra would, and apparently she was about to sell her out right now. Lily couldn't believe that she was surprised that this woman she hardly knew, but had strangely felt like she was friends with, would choose her job over Lily's entire life and reputation — but still, she was. And it hurt. Catching them in the act must be a bona fide ratings bonanza… and would probably earn Petra a raise. She couldn't believe she'd just been warned about this, and was about to repeat someone else's past mistakes right away anyway.

Before she could succumb to a pity party, Lily creaked the door back open slowly and looked down the hall, ensuring that Petra was indeed headed towards the elevator, presumably to meet the camera crew, her walkie still in hand.

After gently clicking the door back shut, Lily rushed to the closet, yanking it open. "You need to leave by the emergency stairwell, now."

"Lily—" James responded scandalized. If Lily hadn't been so far past her wit's end, she might have seen the hilarity of James just standing there in the dark, completely starkers, holding onto his junk. Unfortunately, there was no time to revel in such a sight.

Lily scooped his clothes off the floor and threw them at him. "Now, James, right now!"

James caught them easily and hopped into his pants as he looked at her incredulously. "Lily, we're adults. We're allowed to—"

"Not the time for this discussion! You need to go—"

"Lily," James said, stuffing one arm into his shirt. "Please. Fuck the producers, and fuck this show. Can we please just talk about what we—"

With only his arms inside his shirt, Lily started shoving him to her door, getting ready to push him through. "Just go outside and pretend like you were going on a run or something."

"What, in hotel slippers?" James replied rolling his eyes.

Lily saw said slippers lying discarded by the door. "Oh." She took a moment to recalibrate. "Shit, I dunno, say you went on a stroll outside because you couldn't be cooped up anymore—"

"Lily, please—"

But Lily wasn't listening. She whipped open her door and shuttled James out, pointing in the opposite direction than where Petra had just left. "That way, go!"

Before James could give her another angry retort, she stole a quick kiss on the lips, and shut him out.

Next Chapter: Morocco

Extended Note: I clearly did a bad job revealing it since a lot of you had questions, but yes! Peter Pettigrew is just gender-swapped in this story, but still willing to throw a 'friend' under the bus to climb the power ladder! I wanted all the Marauders to be there from the beginning BUT I didn't want it to be obvious from the get-go that someone was going to get betrayed (in this case it's LILY by PETRA) and basically wanted the reveal to be like a "oh shit!" shock moment :D So, Petra is not his sister or wife! Haha. James WAS betrayed by someone in school, and he said he was "P—" but then broke off, so that was a little red herring (just like having a contestant being called Pete!) :p Let's say that guy from James' past was called Patrick :)