Disclaimer: Not mine; don't sue. ;) And the title is inspired, of course, by Journey's Don't Stop Believin'
Author's Note: You've all been so incredibly kind with your reviews that I couldn't resist popping up another chapter before I turned in for the night. Hope y'all enjoy it. :)
Chapter 6: Don't Stop Deceivin'
My shoulders hunched in surprise and I shifted slightly, surreptitiously wiping away the last few of my tears before looking up at him. He was kneeling next to me on the floor, his faded jeans, and azure fitted polo framing him wonderfully. I could feel my heart lightening at the sight of him. It was curious the connection I had always felt with him. It was hard to describe, as if, we were friends before I could remember. I used to chalk it up to an escapist complex and my inability to move past a teenage crush. But at this moment, it felt so incredibly right to have him here when I needed someone.
Didn't mean I could get carried away though; in the real world, Jared and I were barely acquaintances.
"Hey." I offered a tentative smile but from the widening of his eyes, I could tell it was unsuccessful.
"Are- are you okay?" He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable in this situation of nurturer. I felt guilty then, he was nice enough to consider my feelings and here I was forcing him to make all the conversation.
"Yeah, I uh-" but I drew a blank, I couldn't think of anything to fill the silence with other than the truth, but as the silence stretched on and his discomfort mounted, I realized that that particular venue had never really been open.
Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps it was just gravity, but at that moment the blue note from earlier which I must have stuck back in the crevice of my locker came fluttering down and landed on my head.
He smirked at me, and I swear if I hadn't already been sitting down, my knees would have given out like you wouldn't believe.
He grabbed the paper and conducted a cursory scan before a knowing look came across his face.
"This have anything to do with it?" He seemed immensely relieved at the simplicity of the problem and for a second I was too, it was nice to take a moment's reprieve from the angst-ridden sojourn that today had been.
"Yeah, yes. I mean I was just getting a little overwhelmed. Nothing major." I shrugged a shoulder casually, shaking my hair forward to cover up any signs of my dishonesty. But as I was learning today, I was an impeccable liar. I wasn't certain what to do with that, really.
The panic that I had felt consuming me just minutes before had faded into resolution as a plan began to form in my head.
"Did you find a model?" He leaned back on his heels and got up and then to my complete surprise offered me a hand.
I blinked and just as I was reaching for it, I heard Nina calling his name from behind me and he rescinded the chivalrous offer.
I ran my hand awkwardly back across the lockers as if I'd been aiming for them all along before pulling myself to my feet and dusting off the seat of my jeans. I felt my cheeks heat up.
"Hey baby," he cooed at her, his voice buttery and sinful and I felt my heart shatter just a little bit. Now, however, was not exactly the time to remorse over the lack of reciprocity but rather to convince a certain young man to join me on my rendezvous to Seattle.
I looked away for a second, my resolve faltering as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and neatly tucked her into his side.
"Jared, I was wondering if I could do you?" I blurted out, before any insecurity or anxiety stopped me. I needed him. And just once, I was going to make sure I got him.
Nina raised an eyebrow at me, her mouth smiling but her eyes tensed. He seemed surprised as well.
"As in paint you, for my project, I mean." I finished haphazardly. I couldn't seem to move my gaze from my feet as I waited for an answer.
"Kim, I-" I could feel him declining but I needed company incase I met Cecilia. How do I make this seem like I wasn't doing this with an ulterior motive? And then it hit me, of course.
"Bring Nina, I mean would you like to come as well? I can paint the two of you together, you have such wonderful chemistry, it'd be amazing for my final."
Nina let out a breath and I glanced up at her, she looked surprised. Not unhappy, though.
It was romantic, I supposed, a painting of you with the love of your life.
"I'll comp the travel and everything-" I continued, running costs in my head to see if I could handle it; I had enough to cover us.
"Okay." She smiled at me, and then laughed lightly, twirling a lock of hair around a manicured fingernail. I snuck my own hands into my back pockets.
"Jared, it'll be so wonderful to have a painting of us, won't it?" He looked down at her, resigned but obviously too fond of her to care too much and I had to look away. It was intimate.
"Yeah, I guess, it couldn't hurt." He looked at me, suddenly, his gaze penetrating and I plastered a victorious smile on my face that I was sure didn't quite reach my eyes but I clapped my hands anyway.
"Thanks, guys, you're really helping me out."
"Wait, why aren't we doing it here?" He sounded suspicious and I stalled for a second before remarking about the metropolitan backdrop of Seattle being the perfect inspiration for something as elemental and electric as young love.
He was silent though his face unreadable and I saw Nina out of the corner of my eye glance up at him curiously before turning to me.
"That sounds fine, Kim. I'd be chill with doing it closer to home but hey if you're offering to pay…" She trailed off, winking suggestively at me, before moving behind Jared to her locker.
I laughed and agreed good humouredly before turning back to Jared who hadn't said anything yet.
"You still in?" I smiled, pleadingly and I saw his eyes soften slightly and he nodded before turning abruptly towards Nina.
I let out a breath. Well, I thought to myself, at least they agreed.
Now I just needed to come up with an excuse to drop by the boutique and my house and search around a little but that seemed like child's play compared to this.
I spun the combination to my locker and pulled the door open before taking out the few books I'd need for my homework.
I dropped my bag to the floor then and rested my hands on the inside of my locker, the picture of my parents and myself when I was about ten.
I traced their faces, remembering that day. It had been a Saturday morning and my dad had just come in from getting the paper and he'd wrapped his arms around mom and then shot a cheeky grin at me before swatting her on the rear.
"John!" She played furious for only a few minutes before spraying him with dishwater from the sink.
"Lucy!" He yelled back mockingly, his face cracked in half with the smile on his face and before she could stop him he'd hoisted her over his shoulder and brought her to the table.
"Kim, how're we going to punish this woman for her atrocious crime."
But I just shook my head at their crazy antics; I'd never seen a couple so in love as those two. It was clear my parents lived for each other.
"Stick her in the pool, dad." I winked at mom who flicked the soapsuds on her hands at my hair, I responded with the butter on the table and then we'd gotten into an all out food fight, resulting in the three of us jumping into the pool covered with syrup, bit of pancakes, tea and whatever else was around.
The pool-cleaning bill had been expensive but that had been one of my favorite memories. My nanny had snapped a picture of the three of us jumping into the water from upstairs and it had graced my locker ever since.
My heart sank, weight of their absence reaching it's full potency, the earlier distractions fading.
I dug my fingers into my palms, and leaned my head against the corner of the metal in front of me. Deep breaths, I thought to myself. It'll all be over soon.
Giggling echoed out to my right and I whipped my head around to see Jared teasingly tickling Nina, his fingers running gracefully around her stomach as she buried her head in his chest, laughing.
His head rose and our eyes met for a second and I saw the grin fade as he took in my face and I blinked rapidly, smiling half-heartedly before waving and shutting my locker.
It would be a long, lonely walk home. But I had plenty to think about. But for some reasons it felt like the further I walked away from that corridor and my locker, the further I got from home. That picture was all I really had. I turned for a second, considering going back and getting it but Jared and Nina had displaced themselves in their canoodling, his hands pressed firmly at her waist, planting her directly in front of my locker.
Guess not, I thought wearily to myself.
Hands crossed over my chest, I walked away down the hall, running scenarios and locations in my mind for the weekend, forgetting all about my satchel, which was still on the floor below my locker.
The air outside was almost humid, but the wind was arctic as ever, slicing through the moisture. I walked quickly, my steps short and meticulous. I avoided the cracks the nursery rhyme grimly echoing through my head.
Step on a crack; break your mother's back.
I shivered in the wind. Superstitions were just that, superstitious, but all the same, I thought to myself as I stepped carefully over another crack, the odds weren't entirely in my favor as it was.
"Kim! Wait up, you forgot your bag." I looked behind me in surprise to see Jared, jogging towards me, Nina nowhere in sight.